Chapter 3: Cruel

A/N: rated M for character death

“Yo!”

“Hey.”

“You look like crap.”

“Gee thanks.”

“You got the call didn’t you?”

Jongin’s eyes fluttered open, the ceiling of the dance studio looked so low and the mirrored walls felt a little too cramped and a little too thin. He could almost feel the coldness of winter from the outside yet his body was sweating and his face flustered, and his heart, he wouldn’t even want to think about how his heart was leaping from his chest. He could almost hear it shattering over and over again as his mind wandered along lines he once drew in between his past and his present. The way stars sparkled behind his closed eyelids was creating a painful gush of nostalgia in every fiber of his being. He didn’t want to think of wide eyes, pale skin, obnoxious threats, motherly nagging, heart shaped lips and shooting stars – he didn’t want to think of a certain person that once became the brightest star in his universe. The brightest star that just disappeared, faded along with the littered pieces of his broken heart, leaving him with nothing but darkness and despair.

He spread his arms, feeling the coldness of the floor tickle his senses as he tried to reminisce how it felt like way back when he thought he was on the top of the world, soaring in his pestiferous ecstasy.  Tears would have fallen if not for the façade he had learned to create through years of endless pain and melancholia – he created Kai.

Kai was flawless, heartless. He was also the dancer everybody wanted yet could never have. The choreographer that could create stances that could only be done by the best of the bests. The theater actor who would only take roles that could make the whole world cry and bow before him. The artist that once broke and came back with a heart as cold as ice and eyes as dead as the black onyx ring sitting deep inside the labyrinth of his past. Kai, the persona that he created to camouflage the boy with a broken heart that would fall in a light slumber with tear stained cheeks, the boy that once fell, caught but was harshly dropped, the boy that had once loved and would always be lost.

“Jongin.” A nudge was felt on his left shoulder.

“Yixing.” He sighed. “It’s Kai now.”

Yixing just shot him with an indifferent glance. “Jongin. Kai. Whatever. You were still Sehun’s closest friend. He would love you to be part of his memento.”

Kai’s eyes fluttered close once more, thinking of a certain baritone voice coming all the way from across the pacific that woke him up at seven o’clock that morning. He would have ignored the call since it was too early for his brain to function, especially after he just pulled two all nighters to finish the routines of the play he was choreographing, if not for obnoxious gush of nostalgia the voice brought him and the fact he hadn’t really heard anything from the elder in the last few years.

“Hey Jongin. It’s me.”

“I know, and it’s also seven o’clock in the morning here Chanyeol. What do you want?”

It wasn’t the ideal way to greet an old friend yet it wasn’t exactly very ideal to contact him at such early hour either. It would usually take him about twelve cups of coffee and his daily dose of energy drink to get his mind reeling.

“I’m planning to make a movie for Sehun, like memento. I want the world to see how amazing Oh Sehun was and how unfair the world was to him, so they could learn to live their lives to the fullest.”

He could almost picture Chanyeol’s sad smile, it made him smirk. “That’s deep, but that doesn’t exactly justify waking me up too early. I’m not going to attend your premiere again Chanyeol. I’m still scarred from the last time.”

Everything was still fresh from Kai’s mind – the first and last time he attended the premiere of a movie Park Chanyeol directed. A very creepy fan of his managed to grab a seat in the front row and was groping him in the most inappropriate places all throughout the whole movie.

Chanyeol just chuckled, as he mumbled a low apology that was very much far away from being sincere.

“I want all of us to be part of it. You can choreograph; I want to be some sort of musical themed. You can also help with scrip writing since Sehun was mostly with you when were still in Uni and you certainly know dance a lot more than any of us.”

The elder said more, a lot more really, yet Jongin’s hazy mind chose to focus on a certain part of the Chanyeol’s monologue.

“All of us?”

“Yes.”

“You mean like …” He trailed as he slowly took tiny steps towards his balcony, winter breeze prickling his skin. “Everybody?”

“Yes. All of us. Everybody.” A chuckle of recognition was heard from the other line. Kai started contemplating between continuing the conversation with the elder and just jumping of the ledge and feel how his body would falsely defy space and time. “Him too.”

The winter breeze suddenly felt a little too harsh and a tiny bit close to being painful. Winter in New York had always been obnoxious yet Kai really wasn’t sure why, or how he thought about standing in his balcony, not wearing anything but his pajamas. Perhaps it was just him and his sadism. Perhaps it was just beauty of the rising sun. Or perhaps it was that small voice in the back of his head, the voice that he had been trying to lock up along with his the shattered pieces of broken heart, the voice he had been refusing to listen to, the voice that he had been suppressing and trying his hardest to diminish – Jongin’s voice. Perhaps it really was the voice, Jongin’s voice that was constantly reminding him that the winter that was Kai was supposed to end and that the spring that was Jongin would always come after to diminish the cold and decorate his paradise with chirping birds and blooming flowers once more. Jongin was a boy that had once loved, and would forever be lost.

Kai and Jongin were two different personas. Jongin was the spring that Kai had been running away from, the blizzard that had been pretending to be a sunshine that would chase Kai even in the depths of his ice cold heart. Jongin was the weakness that Kai would never get tired of running away from. Kai was everything Jongin wasn’t and Kai would never let Jongin catch up with him, because once he did, everything he had worked on would fall apart.

“Well, I tried contacting him. I just sent him an e-mail and I believe Jongdae is going to meet him to pick up some new songs. He hasn’t replied to me yet. You know how he doesn’t want to be found.”

A sad smile curved Kai’s lips, courtesy of Jongin’s memories. He thought of how he spent endless hours, waiting, hoping, wishing that his star would somehow come running back to him with his heart shaped smile and round eyes. He thought of days and nights that felt a tiny bit close to forever, spent staring at a closed door as he slowly gathered courage that never seemed enough to confront the very reason his heart was beating and broken at the same time. He thought of tears harmonizing with an infinite throbbing in his chest as the pieces of his shattered heart puncture every fiber of his being. He thought of Kyungsoo, Do Kyungsoo, the reason why he was still breathing yet barely alive inside.

“I know Chanyeol.” A dry chuckle was released as he watched how his breathe created a thin smoke that danced along the bitter winter breeze. “Trust me, I know very well.”

“So are you coming home?”

Kai’s eyes shifted to the colorful morning sky. It was grazed with different shades of yellow and orange as tinge of sky blue was slowly blanketing the horizon. Jongin had always liked the sunrises, it reminded him of new beginnings yet to Kai, sunrise was all about the endings and false hopes – nighttime would always come to succumb all the broken promises and crush the hearts of the hopefuls.

Kai was everything Jongin wasn’t.

“I have a play to choreograph.”

“Jongin-“

“It’s Kai now, Chanyeol. Jongin does not exist anymore.”

“I don’t give a .” Kai could picture the frown on the elder’s face. “I’m asking Jongin, Sehun’s closest friend, my closest friend. And I know you got hurt when you lost the person you loved the most, trust me, I know how it feels like. Mine is probably different from yours but it’s still a broken heart either way. I know it’s hard, but it’s been eight years Jongin. Get over yourself and stop ing around like you’re the only person in this world that’s hurting because I swear to god, the next time you tell me that my friend does not exist anymore I will do anything to raise Sehun from the dead and make him punch the out of you.”

Kai couldn’t seem to formulate a coherent response to Chanyeol’s speech. It was long, longer than what he had heard from the elder in the last eight years and it was excruciating. It was almost like every single word that escaped the elders lips existed only to rub on his face what had been missing in the last few years of him, dancing along his grief.

A sighed was heard from the other line, painfully harmonizing with tiny bits of white noise and static.

“So what do you say? We’re gonna start working after New Year.”

Kai chuckled as tears slowly blurred his vision yet they never fell, it just stood still, as if it was frozen. Perhaps he really should have just jumped of the ledge, or perhaps it was really time for him get over himself and become the strong person had been Kai pretending to be.

“Fine. I’ll go home on February.”

“Make that January. Baekhyun and Jongdae are planning to do some get together party before we start the production.”

“I can’t-“

“I’ll see you soon Jongin.”

Kai didn’t even have time to respond. The line went dead.

His eyes fluttered close once more, hoping that he could undo the decisions he made that morning and maybe to also wish that Yixing, his colleague and old friend, would just disappear and leave him alone. He had spent his whole day in the studio, dancing along notes and music only he could hear – only to just always end up playing a certain obnoxiously beautiful tune play inside his head as he skipped and did a coupé jeté en tournant, a set of pas de bourrée followed by a quadruple pirouette and a manèges that he would always end with a ballote. Dancing had always been his method to get his mind off of things yet that time, even dancing couldn’t clear his mind, instead it even reminded him of obnoxious memories he never wanted to remember. 

He really wasn’t sure yet it almost felt like the universe was playing some sort of conspiracy against him. Kai had always been good at forgetting, barely remembering anything yet when it came to a certain round eyes, heart shaped lips and voice of an angel, Kai couldn’t seem to forget anything. Everything, from the curious eyes from the first time they met up to the regretful gaze and tearful stare from their break up was perfectly etched in his brain. He had heard Chanyeol once said how the world was cruel and obnoxious and it wouldn’t stop just for the sake of one, yet he never failed to wish for him to just forget everything like he used to and not bear the pain of rejection and unanswered questions. He couldn’t even remember how his parents died, yet he could remember every tiny bit of detail of the person that broke his heart. How cruel and obnoxious could the universe be?

“Hey. You didn’t die on me, did you?” Yixing asked in his accented Korean as the elder nudged his shoulder once more.

He just hummed in response. He really wasn’t in the mood to converse with anybody, not when he was too busy trying to suppress Jongin who was quickly overtaking him.

“But you’re coming home right? I already booked a flight.” A sly grin curved Yixing’s lips. “Kris is paying.”

Kai cocked his eyebrow. “What did you do?”

“I sort of had a bet with Luhan. He got Kris drunk and the rest is history.”

“Aren’t they in Canada?”

“I have ways my friend.”

“You’re evil.” He chuckled. “Baek will kill you.”

“Hey, he should be happy I’m going back to Korea.”

*****

The sky was blue and winter breeze was prickling his skin. He really wasn’t sure why or how he decided to take a walk down the beach. The old ladies living by the shoreline had offered him some coffee and hot tea, which he just turned down with a polite smile. Living in the province wasn’t as bad as he thought it was, everybody knew each other and were actually nice, the breeze was fresh and the surroundings were extremely peaceful. It was hard at first but eight years was probably enough for him to get used to country life. Gangwon-do wasn’t really that bad.

He sat lay down, feeling the cold sand on his bare hands as the cold salt water tickled the sole of his sneakers. The sun felt on his face yet the bitter winter breeze was masking the heat as it danced along the thin smoke that his breath formed. It must be nice to lay down on the beach at night time, the stars would be most visible.

Kyungsoo still liked stars. He would always like stars. Stars reminded him of bronze skin that would sparkle in the midst of stage lights, eyes that would always light up with glee and innocence, smile that could battle the northern lights, of chocolate and vanilla ice cream, of bowls of ramen and forts on an autumn morning, of forgotten grassy lawns, and of broken hearts and regrets. Stars reminded him of pain and dysphoria, and pain and dysphoria was what he deserved. It was already enough that he had once broke his beloved heart, and it was a tiny bit much that he made the younger fall in love with him only for Kyungsoo to just break his heart once more. They said the world was cruel and obnoxious, Kyungsoo thought it was just him. He was cruel and obnoxious.

Life was hard, he would say before. Life would you if you didn’t play with it nicely, he would even add yet Kyungsoo knew it was his own decisions that ed him up. It was that once slip that made his world, supported by secrets and lies, came crashing down on him. It was that one wish that had screwed his everything over. People would say he still had everything – he still had his career, his friends, hell he even got a pet cat yet what people didn’t know was he had lost his everything a long time ago and that everything only consisted of one person. His everything was the very thing he could never have. His everything was a certain star he would spend eternal hours watching from afar. His everything was his only wish that could never be granted.

“Kim Jongin.” He muttered. His everything. His shooting star.

“Fancy seeing you here.” A familiar figure took a seat beside him, carefully trying not to let the salt water touch his expensive boots. “I didn’t expect you to be out in the middle of the day.” The newcomer chuckled. “Heck I didn’t expect you to be out at all. I was starting to think that you’re allergic to people.”

Kyungsoo chuckled as he quickly sat up and flicked his friend’s forehead. “Kim Jongdae. If you’re just here to annoy me then might as well just go back to Seoul, your fans are waiting for their oppa.”

Jongdae just rolled his eyes as he forcefully put a bonnet on Kyungsoo’s head, earning him a glare from the younger. Kyungsoo had never really liked how Jongdae just somehow started treating him like a baby ever since he left Seoul. Maybe it was the overdue maturity that his elder finally reached.

“Well too bad they’re gonna have to wait longer because oppa’s composer refused to deliver his music sheets to their oppa.”

“I could’ve e-mailed them to you.”

Jongdae smirked, eyes glowing with mischief. “And what? Let my competitors hijack the message? Hell no! Do you know how many companies and artists had been offering me a huge amount of money just get a hold of your location, or even just buy one of your pieces? You’re pretty much a gold mine Kyungsoo. You’re the El Dorado of the music industry right now. Everybody wants you yet nobody can find you. Pretty damn clever if you would ask me.”

Kyungsoo had been composing music in the last eight years, burning his time creating magical tunes that would make anybody’s heart flutter or break, creating love stories through notes and lyrics he would draw out from forgotten memories and temporary ecstasy he once had. He refused to let anybody sing his songs aside from the person he trusted the most , his best friend, Kim Jongdae or Chen to the showbiz industry.

“Why don’t you just sell me out then?”

“Why would I let other miners in my gold mine? Seriously Kyungsoo, what do you know about business?” The elder pat his head, mischievous grin still taped on his lips.

“You’re an .”

“Thank you. I get that lot.”

Kyungsoo chuckled. “Really an .”

“Yet people love me.”

“They only love you because you’re good at singing Jongdae.”

“Hey, Junmyeon loves me for me.”

Kyungsoo smiled. The romance between his two friends had been long overdue and he was more than glad when the two finally got together.  It was quite a battle yet happy endings would always happen to whoever deserved it and Kyungsoo was well aware that he wasn’t part of the said crowd. He was meant to be alone, wallowing in his abyss as he watched the stars sparkle from afar.

“And he would definitely love you less if you’re not going to inform him that I am very fine and still breathing. I also made kimchi spaghetti that would at least last you a few days.”

Jongdae just smiled at him before the elder started typing on his phone, probably sending a message to Junmyeon.

“Okay now let’s get you home before we both freeze to death here.”

Kyungsoo just nodded and the next thing he knew was he was already settled in his brown recliner, Jongdae hovering over him with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. He really wasn’t sure how but their conversation somehow ended up being about a certain message he received the day before. It from an unusual sender, one of the very few that he actually entrusted with his contact information yet never actually used it. He was quite disappointed really, yet he understood the reasons.

“Chanyeol sent you an e-mail yesterday.”

“Yes he did.”

“And?”

“And what?”

Jongdae shot him a concerned look. The elder was never good with words yet Kyungsoo had been with him forever and with just one look he already knew what Jongdae was trying to say.

“I’m not gonna go back to Seoul, Jongdae. I’ll write the music, I’ll even sing some songs if he like but I won’t go back. You can pick up the stuff from here like the usual. Chanyeol can do it too if you’re too busy. I just ..”Kyungsoo trailed, thought unconsciously wavering to a certain star that used to be the light of his abyss. “Not with him Jongdae. I can’t …”

“He hasn’t even said anything if he’s coming or not.”

“He would. If it’s for Sehun, he would.”

“I heard he’s busy with a musical in New York. Baek said Yixing is working with him.” Jongdae took a sip from his cup, hoping that the hot liquid would somehow help him calm himself down. “And he’s pretty much avoiding you as much as you’re avoiding him. He’s like a totally different person now Kyungsoo. Jongin had changed a lot since then. He doesn’t even want to be called Jongin anymore.” The elder chuckled. “Kai. That’s his name now.”

I know.

Kyungsoo knew everything that had happened with Jongin. He might have been telling everybody that he already cut ties with the outside world yet he just couldn’t let go of Jongin. He would even fly to America and Europe just to watch the younger’s shows. It was heartbreaking yet Kyungsoo really couldn’t ask for more. Who was he to even ask? He was not in the place to demand. He wasn’t even in the place to look at Jongin yet he just couldn’t picture his life without the younger anymore - even if it was just from afar, it was okay. Kyungsoo would be okay.

Jongin got his dreams back – he became Kai – and Kyungsoo couldn’t be any happier.

“I’m still not going back.”

“What the Kyungsoo?!”

“He can’t see me again Jongdae. I wouldn’t even take the chance of letting him see me again.”

“It’s been eight years Kyungsoo. Get over it.”

“You don’t understand-“

“Then make me.” Jongdae’s eyes were filled with anger and concern, something Kyungsoo had never seen before, it almost made Kyungsoo tremble.

In the last eight years, nobody asked why he rejected Jongin’s proposal. Nobody dared to ask why he locked himself up in his room back in the apartment he once shared with his best friend. Nobody asked why his eyes would be red and fluffy every time he would come out. Nobody asked he broke the very person he loved the most’s heart. Nobody asked. Kyungsoo thought it was for the best, yet he had quite lost grasp of the difference between the best and the worst because he knew he did what was the best for both he and Jongin yet they were both suffering. What had he done wrong?

“Make me understand Kyungsoo because nobody does. I’m your best friend and I know something is wrong. I’ve always known. I just never said anything because I know you wouldn’t let me in anyway but Kyungsoo, I can’t just watch you break like this. I want to understand why you’re destroying yourself like this. I need to you trust me.”

Maybe it was finally time for someone to know Kyungsoo’s secrets – all the forgotten memories and wishes.

“I trust you Jongdae.”

And then everything came crashing down on Kyungsoo once more as if it just happened yesterday. Memories he had wished to forget, reminiscences that he treasured yet loathed – his past, from the very time he met a boy with sun-kissed skin, eyes always gleaming with joy and innocence, and smile that could battle the northern lights.

*****

Kyungsoo was five when he first started singing, or at least when other living things, other than his pet hamster, realized that he had a voice of an angel. It was the month of February, just a few days after the first day of the Korean Lunar Calendar, when his mother first took him to his first voice lesson. His father, the proudest, would make him stand on their coffee table, holding his mother’s hair brush as he pretended he was on stage – singing his favorite songs as his frustrated artist of father clapped and cheered for him, before his mother called the both of them for dinner.  Dinner was served under a small chandelier Kyungsoo’s mother personally picked to match the whole interior of their bungalow. Their nights would usually be filled with laughter, and Kyungsoo’s singing until it was almost time for bedtime – before his mother would drag him to his bathroom and give him a lecture about how brushing his teeth every night was important. At eight thirty pm, five year old Kyungsoo should be in his bed, securely tucked under his Winnie the pooh blanket – lights off as he listened to his mother’s lullaby.

When the baby's in his deeply nap, all seem peaceful yet, noisy hoot seagulls make mother's heart anxiously..

Kyungsoo was seven when his father told him that he would be gone for a while – that work required him to stay in the city for indefinite time. His father promised that he would be back before Kyungsoo’s first musical. Two musicals later, and there was still no sign of his father. He would call sometimes; give Kyungsoo more excuses as his mother just looked at him with sad eyes. Kyungsoo would cry, listening to his mother’s lullaby as he fell in his slumber. He was already seven and his bedtime was moved to nine pm.

Kyungsoo was eight when his father finally came home, after missing about six of his musicals. He would’ve already forgotten the man’s face if not for the pictures that were hung on the walls of their home. His father brought him toys, a keyboard, and clothes that were all a size too small – “Sorry I thought they would still fit you” the man told him. “It’s been a year dad.” He replied and ran up to his room, his father’s words vanishing in midst of the darkened hallway. How he wished the sound of screaming across his room would also disappear. It was already eleven pm and it was way past his bedtime when he felt a familiar weight on the side of his bed. Kyungsoo felt the familiar comfort yet the cracked voice of his mother was not the same lullaby he would often hear before he fell asleep every night.

.. not minding half empty basket, carrying it on her head, mother ran to her baby, stepped on a hot sandy road

Kyungsoo was almost nine when his father came home after missing another musical, with divorce papers in hand. He locked himself in his room as he listened to how his father’s voice, along with his mother’s cries echoed in every corner of their home. Kyungsoo felt like he was falling, his heart was racing, and he felt dizzy as he pressed his small hands on both sides of his head – trying his hardest to swathe the noises from his parents’ bedroom. It was already ten thirty and his mother would usually only let him stay up a few minutes before ten, his bed time was nine thirty. His mother wouldn’t be happy if she caught him still wide awake. He should be asleep. Tears started falling as he hummed along the tune of his mother’s lullaby. Kyungsoo was almost nine when his parents broke up, along with his mother’s heart. The hallways remained darkened, and the chandelier in the dining room was never . Kyungsoo was eight when he started singing his own lullaby.

When mother went to the island to pick oysters, the baby was left to go, stay in the house alone.

Kyungsoo was nine when the vacant house across the street was suddenly filled with boxes, unfamiliar faces and tiny laughter from a small kid running around the grassy front lawn. The kid smiled at him and for the first time in last two years, Kyungsoo felt happy. The grassy front lawn had become their turf, both kids sitting under an old tangerine tree with ice cream cones in their tiny hands – once chocolate one vanilla. Autumn mornings were spent creating forts out of blankets and pillows as they ate their bowl of ramen for breakfast. The two kids became inseparable. For the first time in the last two years, Kyungsoo somehow felt complete.

Kyungsoo was nine when first met Kim Jongin – the boy from across the street that had sun-kissed skin, eyes always gleaming with joy and innocence, smile that could battle the northern lights.

Kyungsoo was nine when he probably first fell in love. It was one of those nights when they would lay down, hand in hand, on the grassy front lawn as they watched the stars sparkle, waiting for a shooting star to graze the dark night sky. Kyungsoo started humming, followed with the boy letting go of his hand and started morphing his body with Kyungsoo’s voice. It was the most exquisite view Kyungsoo had ever seen in his life, and he thought maybe, just maybe, he didn’t need a shooting star anymore because he had already found the brightest star in his universe. Kyungsoo thought it was majestic and he thought perhaps he had found the only star he needed in his universe.

Kyungsoo just turned ten and Jongin was turning nine when Kyungsoo first lost his everything. It was late in the afternoon and Jongin’s mother decided to host a party for both kids – knowing that Kyungsoo’s mom was not exactly in the best condition to organize a party for his only son. Kyungsoo thought everything was perfect, celebrating his birthday with the brightest star in his universe, running around grassy lawn with small faces stained with chocolate and vanilla ice cream, laughing as if the world never mattered. It was just him and Jongin, and everything was irrelevant.

Kyungsoo just turned ten and Jongin was turning nine when Kyungsoo’s father came home once more, the boy wasn’t really sure if he should still call it a home – not when the hallways had remained dark, the chandelier was never e, bed times weren’t enforced, and lullabies weren’t sang.

Kyungsoo just turned ten when his father came back with custody papers on hand – stating that his mother was not deem stable enough to raise her own child. His father, a middle aged man with eyes almost identical as his, and stature molded by endless amount of office work tried to force him to let go of the people he was holding on to – his mother on his right, and Jongin on his left. He shook his head as tears freely trailed down his cheeks.

“No Dad. I’m not going with you. I’m not going to leave Mom. I’m not going to leave Jongin.”

Kyungsoo’s father’s eyes went from pleading to angered, nose flaring as he forced his small hands to let go of the two most important people in his life and Kyungsoo couldn’t do anything but cry.

“Listen to me you brat! You’re mother can’t take care of you anymore.” His father held both his arms tightly, and he almost felt like his bones were going to be crushed. “She’s not mentally stable and doesn’t have a job so as much as I don’t want another heavy baggage to drag, I have to take you with me.” The elder started shaking his already trembling body.

“Dad. You’re hurting me.” He said in between sobs.

“Sir, please. He said you’re hurting him. Please let him go.” Jongin tried to reach for his hand, only to be shoved by his father away.

“You have got nothing to do with this kid. Just go home and hide under your mother’s skirt.” Jongin’s tears were also starting to blur his vision. Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do, not when he was caged in his father’s grasp and all he could do was cry like the pathetic child he was.

“Don’t talk to the kids like that!” It was a voice Kyungsoo hadn’t heard in a while. His mother stopped talking when he was nine – severe depression the doctor said. Selective mutism.

Kyungsoo was just turned ten, and he would have smiled upon hearing his mother’s voice more, the voice that used to lull him to sleep when he was younger, if not for the fear that immediately grazed his father’s eyes. He looked up and saw her mother holding a kitchen knife, slowly walking towards his father. Jongin’s mother, the brave and kind woman that she was ran towards them and scooped her son into her arms, quickly taking Kyungsoo along as Jongin’s father ran towards Kyungsoo’s parents, trying to stop what was bound to happen.

Kyungsoo just turned ten and Jongin was turning nine when their young eyes witnessed the darkest part of their lives. Jongin’s was father lying on the grassy front lawn, bloody, and lifeless. Kyungsoo’s parents, his father sitting on the sidewalk, eyes wide open, his mother sobbing not too far away, bloody knife in hand as she mumbled words of apology before she struck her chest with the knife right where her heart lies.

Kyungsoo just turned ten and Jongin was turning nine – both children too young, yet the world really was cruel and obnoxious. Kyugsoo just turned ten and Jongin was turning nine – both children too young, when they lost the most precious thing in their lives. Kyungsoo just turned ten and Jongin was turning nine – both children too young, when they lost each other in cruelness of the universe.

****

“Oh my god Kyungsoo.” Were the only words that left Jongdae’s lips.

“Do you understand now Jongdae?” Kyungsoo wasn’t crying yet he could feel the scorching pain seeping through every fiber of his being. “Jongin and I were never meant to be together.”

****

long update is long. I know I said I wouldnt update today anymore but hey, apparently my rage helped me actually finishing this chapter up and even longer than what i expected.

anyway, now that I already revealed everything, please dont hate me. :((
i also hinted some potential pairings, and secret pairing from the previous arc is: SuChen hehehe nobody guessed it right so I guess no prize for anybody :p
I will write about them after KrisHan, and probably a oneshot for another pairing (:

for questions about my ty plottwist, just shoot me a comment and I'll gladly supply you with the details.

comments/upvotes = updates

xoxo - rin