“Changmin, if you really loved someone, would you let them go?”


Every time you loosen our entwined hands,


I tried to hold onto the warmth,



“I just called a cab…”



Changmin, who stood in the entrance of the door, could only stare at the slender form that stood silently in front of the bedroom window. He could barely make out the man’s form, only small flashes of light from the streets below created the perfect silhouette…that belonged to someone he knew quite well.



When he didn’t hear a reply, he walked further into the room, just before the king sized bed. From there he could see what the raven haired man was staring at.



Every time I think I’ll be able to meet you,


My heart dyes with a beautiful shade.



He watched with intrigue as the beautiful man traced patterns on the glass that was almost completely fogged up due to the cold air outside and the lukewarm air of the bedroom. His fingertips danced elegantly across the cool window, following the snowflakes as they slid down the glass. Occasionally, he would wipe the window clean with his hand, before blowing on it with his heated breath. He would then trace more obvious patterns.



Like a star.



A face.



A flower.



Then a heart.



Even the common things turn into memories…



~~~



“Do you always draw hearts on taxi windows?”



“Not just on taxi windows. Any window is fine.”



“Don’t you think that’s a little childish?”



“Some might call it childish, others would call it artistic.”



~~~



…when we’re together…



Changmin could only smile softly to himself at the smaller man’s antics…and how it ignited a scene that had been burned permanently into his brain.



Of a moment six years earlier…



In a yellow taxi cab.



In one of largest and longest traffic jams the city of Seoul had ever seen.



Next to a gorgeous man who spent the entire time tracing shapes in a foggy window.



Who had sparked an instant curiosity in the usually indifferent Shim Changmin.



“Don’t you think that’s a little childish?”



He went to take a step closer, intending to wrap his long arms around his lover’s petite waist and kiss his pouty lips…



No, wait….he would be his ex-lover now, wouldn’t he?



He stopped mid step, the intense desire to touch the man now gone.



Yes, he would be, wouldn’t he? His ex…



His chest began to ache and his breathing grew shallow as he turned away from the tempting form of the man before him.



He couldn’t be tempted to fall again. Not again.



He had made his decision.



They both did.



He couldn’t turn back now.



“Jaejoong-hyung.”



He felt his own heart pinged at how Jaejoong’s body immediately flinched at the term ‘hyung’. Knowing that Changmin hadn’t called him that since they met six years ago; Changmin could never imagine how much that supposedly term of affection stung.



“Yes,” that beautiful voice he loved so much whispered back.



“I called for a taxi. It should be here now.”



“Oh. I see.”



They both stood silent for a couple of seconds before Changmin looked down and stared at the single black suitcase that lay at the foot of the bed. Open for all to see, clothes folded and necessities bagged neatly, just like Jaejoong always packed.



The suitcase seemed to gaze back at him. Almost innocent and pure, like it believed it had nothing to do with the tense and heartbreaking feeling that hung heavily over the room. But he knew the true meaning that the suitcase brought with it.



Almost as if snapping the suitcase shut meant shutting away what would be left of their relationship…forever.



Damn how metaphors could be so painful to acknowledge.



Even your voice



“Minnie-ah…”



Hearing that sweet voice and that painfully beautiful nickname, Changmin almost lost control, so instead he reached down and closed the suitcase with a snap and locked it with a click. He could feel the smaller man’s presence behind him but continued to ignore him, in favor of picking up the suitcase and turning towards the door.



“I think the taxi’s here now…we should go,” he said in monotone voice, hoping that Jaejoong didn’t hear the tiny crack in his voice or the slight watering of his eyes.



“Minnie-ah, look at me.”



He stood still, refusing.



He then felt the smaller man grab his shoulders and turned him around to where he could look down into the face of the most beautiful man he ever met. But he still couldn’t look him in the eye.



“Please look at me.”



Again he refused. Instead, he stared at the smaller man’s exposed shoulder due to the loose gray sweater. Examining the milky skin, knowing how smooth and silky it would be to the touch.



Even those fragile shoulders,



Changmin wasn’t a very physically affectionate man, but he did have his quirks. And Jaejoong knew them all. He knew about his obsession with the neck and shoulder area and would purposely buy and wear clothing with low or wide collars.



“To give my Minnie better access of course.”



Jaejoong laughed loudly at his own answer, while Changmin just shook his head in disbelief.



Unlike many times before, he would reach out and caress that shoulder and kiss that elegant neck. But he couldn’t do that today. He couldn’t do that anymore.



Because if he did, he knew he would take back everything and break down before the man, and beg him not to go.



But he didn’t have the right to do that anymore.



“Minnie-ah…”



He didn’t even flinch when a hand reached up to grab his chin, forcing him to meet Jaejoong’s eyes.



Even your eyes are not mine,


The man’s dark eyes stared back at him, filled with pain and longing. They didn’t break eye contact, as the black orbs search Changmin’s own, hoping to find any sort of resistance or weakness that showed that they weren’t going to go through with this.



But Changmin couldn’t give him that. He never could.



“I’ll help you carry your things...”



And with that he grabbed Jaejoong’s suitcase with his right hand and left the room with long strides.



He didn’t even have to look back to know that Jaejoong followed silently behind him.


***

However, there was no taxi waiting when they left the apartment.



So, they waited in awkward silence under the extended roof of the complex, as the snow fluttered around them.



Changmin clutched the handle of the suitcase tightly, conflicting emotions passing through him. He didn’t know whether to be happy that the taxi had yet to arrive so he could bask in this man’s presence for just a little longer. Or to be disappointed because he knew that the longer it took for the taxi to arrive, the harder it would be to let the man beside him go.



He looked to his left to see the smaller man shivering, his light sweater not strong enough to protect him against the cold.



‘Idiot,’ he thought to himself fondly, as he shrugged off his own winter coat and placed it around Jaejoong’s shoulders.



“What are you—?” Jaejoong asked surprised.



“You’re wearing next to nothing and it’s freezing outside. And I’m not going to be responsible for you catching a cold,” Changmin retorted, shaking off the kind gesture like it was nothing.



“But—“



“Just keep it. I can buy another one.”



Jaejoong looked down sadly, pulling the large coat tighter against his body.



My feelings won’t come true...



“You shouldn’t be so nice to me, Changmin. I might think that you actually cared,” the smaller man muttered bitterly.



Changmin cringed at that, knowing that he had hurt the man; that they had hurt each other a lot over the past couple of months.



They had fought so much. Much more than they usually did.



They couldn’t go a day without getting into screaming matches and near fist fights.



They couldn’t stop themselves from spewing nasty, hurtful words at one another…



…and what was worse was that they were both too stubborn to apologize…



It had gotten worse when Jaejoong’s work began to consume most of his time, creating a wall between them.



So, when Jaejoong came home one day to tell him that he had a job offer…in Paris, things truly began to fall apart.



That was then they both decided that Jaejoong leaving and taking the job in Paris would be best.



They were falling apart anyway…and a brief separation, they thought, might do them some good.



That perhaps the phrase was true. The absence really can make the heart grow fonder.



So, they decided to take a break, and now here they were, waiting for a taxi that would take Jaejoong to the airport and on his plane to Paris in less than a couple of hours.



And all of this time, even now, they both still believed that the decision they had made was mutual…



…but if they were to actually talk...to say what was really in their hearts...they would find that it never was….



Truth was…



“Of course I care. I just—”



Unless I destroy your future,



…they both knew that separating now would really mean the end of their relationship; that the second that taxi came, there would be no turning back…



It would be over…for them…



‘I don’t want to destroy your future…’



He sighed. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Jaejoong. It wasn’t that he didn’t want the man to stay beside him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hold the man, make love to him, and shield him forever in their warm apartment.



But he couldn’t do that. No matter how much he yearned to pull Jaejoong into his arms and tell him how much he loved him and how much he would be destroyed if he left, he couldn’t be that selfish as to make Jaejoong chose between him and his dream…



…and that is why he agreed to the separation….



That was why he acted like he was willing to let the man go without a care.



If Jaejoong wanted to leave, to find something better, he wasn’t going to stop him.



That was the ultimate sign of selfishness…



One moment’s dream



Even though he loved the man so much, that he was sure he would stop breathing from excoriating pain in his chest when the beautiful man was not around.



I love you to the extent that it hurts,



But it was no longer in his hands.



It was no longer enough.



It’s too late now.



They would both give up on each other.



But tonight is ending….



And he had to let him go….for both their sakes…



I walk the shimmering streets,


Trying to cover the times we can’t meet,



Unable to stand the way the man beside him was looking at him with that horrible, broken expression, Changmin walked onto the sidewalk and into growing blizzard, feeling the slight chill on his skin despite the thick sweater he worn.



However, the spark of pain that flowed through his chest was enough to help him ignore the cold.



The pain that came from remembering…remembering the loving times that they had had together…and how he would never have those moments again.



They would only be distant memories…just flashes of old pictures, like those old black and white silent films.



God, could he really do this? Could he let this man go?



When even the thought of it would almost bring him to his knees?



He run a hand through his short, black hair and shook his head, trying once again to keep the tears from coming.



He was so distracted he almost didn’t notice the smaller man walk right next to him and whispered so softly that Changmin could barely hear it over the roaring wind.



“Changmin, you really need to learn to be more selfish,” Jaejoong said, smiling sadly, “because you really make it hard for me to hate you.”



His heart completely stopped as stared in the older man’s flawless face. Marveling at the way the white snow blended in with that pale skin and the way the wind flowed through those silky, raven strands.



“My name is Kim Jaejoong,” a small hand reached towards him, “and you are?”



Despite his better judgment, he shook that beautiful but weird stranger’s hand.



Your playful smile,



“Don’t you think that’s a little childish?” He asked.



“Some might call it childish, others would call it artistic. It’s window art,” the then blond haired man said with slight a teasing tone. Using the term ‘window art’ like it was an actual profession.



After our hands had met for the first time,



“You call making smiley faces and hearts on windows 'artwork'?” He asked incredulously.



“Anything can become art if you put your heart and effort into it. And who knows, at least it might make someone’s day to see it, right?” the man laughed and smiled at him.



“Now everyone who comes into this taxi can see my artwork. That’s very cool don’t you think?”



And as much he detested anything cheesy and sappy, at that moment, he thought the man had the most beautiful smile he had ever laid eyes on.



And god, how he was still the most beautiful human being he had ever met.



“And you are?”



“Shim Changmin.”



Keeps reviving in my memories…



It was then he remembered exactly why he fell in love with Kim Jaejoong, a man who was older than him by almost two years, but one could never tell with the man’s childish ways.



And even though at times he got annoyed with Jaejoong’s own brand of teasing, his vanity, his tendency to speak in riddles and zone out into his own world entirely…



…He loved it because it was so like Jaejoong.



He loved that Jaejoong made him do things out of his own comfort zone and how he brought him out of his self-induced shell.



He loved that Jaejoong spoke his mind because then Changmin knew he would always be honest with him.



He loved that Jaejoong knew him so well, from his Casanova ways to his endless appetite.



And he loved that Jaejoong had loved him with all his might, without fear, without holding back.



And because he loved Jaejoong so much, because Jaejoong had done so much for him these past six years, he couldn’t hurt him by making him stay with him.



With someone who didn’t deserve his love or attention.



He hoped that someday the smaller man would understand and forgive him…for letting him go so easily.



“Changmin, do you believe that if you really love someone, you’ll let them go?”



I want to embrace you



But looking at the man now, looking so ethereal, so angelic in the falling snow, he just wanted so badly to hug him, to embrace him.



I want to embrace you tightly,



To hold him so tightly.



Just one last time.



And he could feel that Jaejoong wanted the same when the man turned to look up at him with watery eyes, his lips, his usual nervous habit.



However,



“Just tell me, Changmin!”



He could see it in his eyes; and hear his voice in his head.



“Just tell me how you feel. Tell me that we’re fine and that we’re happy the way we are. Tell me that you want me to stay!”



He stepped forward and grabbed the smaller man’s hands and was about to pull him into his chest….



“Tell me not to go…and I won’t."



You are not mine.



…but instead, he handed him the suitcase, wrapping the hands around the metal handle briefly and pulled away, looking down at the snow covered sidewalk.



My broken heart...



“I don’t understand what you want me to say, Jaejoong.”



“Just do you what you want. I don’t own you.”



“If you want to go, just go.”



I want to embrace you



‘What is it that you want?'



'What do you want me to say?'



'Do you want me to hold you back?'



'To make you suffer?’



But I cannot embrace you at all



‘I’m sorry, Jae. But you’re no longer mine to hold…’



He almost wanted to take it all back when he saw the immense pain in his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend’s eyes, and the way he smiled brokenly.



“Just go? Just go?! Just like that?! That’s it?”



Before that point, he thought he couldn’t have hated himself more, but he was obviously wrong.



‘Cause you know I can’t, I won’t do that to you.’



I want you to the degree that it’s overflowing…



..that it’s melting…



Through the white haze, Changmin noticed two bright headlights and the unmistakable color of the taxi cab heading towards them.



He went forward and waved his hand, signaling in the taxi to stop.



Almost there. Almost.



“Did I…did I really mean that little to you, Changmin-ah. Were we that meaningless? That worthless to hold on to?”



He opened the trunk whilst taking the suitcase from Jaejoong’s cold hands and placing it inside. After shutting it, he moved to open the door for the beautiful man. Who would have normally scoffed in annoyance at the somewhat degrading act of being treated like a woman, but he didn’t today. Not now, not this time.



And for a moment they stood in front of each other, face to face, eye to eye. Yet, neither of them said anything.



‘This is only brief.’



‘We’ll meet up again soon.’



‘I’ll call you every day.’



‘I love you…I love you too…’



Was something that they had wanted to say; anything that would show that they weren’t over. That it was a break; not a break up.



But they both knew that either of them could make any promises now. Because they would only be broken in the end;



No use making promises that you know you can’t keep.



They nodded almost awkwardly to each other, making him wonder just how long they had been this awkward with each other.



Then Jaejoong turned to slide into the cab…



‘This was it, it would be over now.’



…just as he sat down, Changmin reached out, and suddenly Jaejoong felt a hand on his wrist.



He stilled and looked back at the taller man.



They both looked at each other in shock, waiting for the other to react.



Changmin stood with his mouth agape, knowing that he had unconsciously reached out to grab the man’s hand, as if trying to prevent him from leaving.



“Minnie-ah…”



‘Jaejoong-ah…’



Your voice,



Was this right?



Your fragile shoulder,



Should he really let go?



Let go of this hand?



Was he doing the right thing?



Even your eyes are no longer mine…



"I’m sorry, Jaejoong."



He let go of that hand… and pushed the cab door shut.



He stared at the steel door that separated him from the person he loved most in this world. The foggy glass preventing him from taking one last glance of the man’s face.



For he knew, it would probably be the last time he’d ever see it.



Without even being able to stop the taxi and make a promise…



Suddenly, he noticed a clear line moving along on the foggy glass, due the warm fingertip against the cool surface. First one and then a second and then a third formed quickly after.



From those lines formed into the four most simple but most powerful words of all.



Changmin’s eyes widen.



And the tears he had held back numerous times that night, flowed out of his eyes and down his cheeks with no resistance.



You wave your hands



‘I LOVE YOU.’



Was written on that fog covered window.



‘FOREVER.’



And those words stayed, almost glaring at him, even as the taxi pulled away from the curb and headed slowly down the snow covered pavement, leaving the tall man alone in his thoughts and numb from the cold.



Not even bothering to wipe the freezing liquid from his eyes, he turned to back to his apartment.



To wallow in his misery.



“Changmin?”



He stopped.


Your playful smile,


“If you really loved someone, would you let them go?”



He remembered that conversation years ago. It had occurred not long after Jaejoong and him had started dating.



He had almost forgotten about it.



But like at that time, he replied to the question, out loud:



“Yes.”



That was the ultimate kind of selfless love.



SMACK!



Changmin jolted from the memory of being smacked across the back of the head.



“Yah! You jerk! What’d you hit me for?!”



“Because you idiot!”



SLAP!



“That’s not the right answer!”



He blinked, already stuck neck deep in the memory.



“What do you mean ‘right answer’? It’s an opinion question! Opinion! How is there a right answer?!”



He had said, slapping the shorter man hard on the shoulder as he did so.



“Geez, your answer isn’t romantic at all...”



Changmin snorted and shook his head. His lover always had such strange logic.



“Then what is the right answer than oh wise, brilliant one?”



Keeps reviving in my memories…



He turned and looked down the street where the taxi had drove down a few minutes before; covered a white, blindly mist of snowflakes.



“Didn’t you know, Minnie-ah…”



“…that the right answer is no.”



He in a cold breath.



“If you truly loved someone, Minnie-ah, you would never let them go.”



Clenched his aching chest.



That is what Jaejoong wanted from him wasn’t it? To ask him, no, tell him not to go?



“Just tell me not to go and I won’t.”



But wasn’t that….that selfish of him to ask?



“But isn’t that kind of selfish? What if they want to leave?”



“Sometimes it’s good to be selfish.”



Squeezed his eyes shut.



“And if I loved someone I wouldn’t want that person to ever let me go. Even if I wanted to leave.”



The flakes like fairies danced in the air.



“Because having a love that you would fight for…is the most beautiful love of all.”



Changmin’s snapped open and it dawned on him.



He had made a mistake.



A huge mistake.



“That sounds just like you, Jaejoong.”



Letting Jaejoong walk out that door and into that taxi was a mistake.



No.



Letting the person he loved more than anything go was not just a mistake…it was damn selfish. Unforgivable.



He had seen it in Jaejoong’s eyes that he didn’t want to leave.



And that he had just said so, Jaejoong would have stayed with him without a second thought.



Jaejoong had been fighting. That night, Jaejoong had been fighting. Fighting for him, for them. Had been begging for them to stay the way they were.



Jaejoong did not want to let go.



But instead of fighting for the man, of showing him, of telling him that he loved him and wanted to make things work, he had been prepared to thrown everything they had away and had tossed Jaejoong into that damn taxi….and had watched him drive away…



I want you to the degree that it’s overflowing…



They did not fight hard enough.



He did not fight hard enough to make things work.



And in his attempt to save Jaejoong’s dream, he had only destroyed his happiness, their happiness.



Why hadn’t he realized this earlier?



A smile.



“You know me well, Changmin.”



At least he thought did.



But he had no clue.



It was obvious when he let him leave.



When he didn’t keep his promise…



“So, what would you do now?”



He rubbed his teary eyes and turned into the wind and stared in the haze.



“Changmin, would you fight for me?”



..that it’s melting…



Without a second thought, he began to sprint into the haze, kicking the white powder as he did so. His long strides were steady and powerful against the wind.



He had no attention of stopping until he saw it.



That ugly yellow taxi.



The one that took the man he loved away.



He would find it.



And when he did…



“Sure, Jaejae. I would fight for you.”



He would make sure he would never let the person inside of it go again.



Despite chilly wind in his face and in his lungs, the strain in his long legs, and the haze that left him almost completely blind, Changmin ran for what seemed like hours down the main street. Hoping that the taxi had been going slow enough or was stuck in a snowdrift. Anything so that he would be able to catch up with it before it was too late.



In the distant, he finally saw a hint of yellow. His heart soared in relief.



He quickened his pace toward the taxi stuck in front of the glowing traffic light.



Without wasting a second, he slammed his fists onto the back window, waiting for the sound of the automatic lock, and pulled open the door, making the wind almost tear the door off its hinges.



But when he opened the door…



…there was nothing…no one there…



Changmin stood there breathing heavily, his body beginning to weaken due to his long distance sprint. He turned to look at the window…



…nothing was written there.



No stars, no flowers, no hearts….



No ‘I love you’s’…



..on the fog covered window…



This wasn’t the right taxi…



It wasn’t the one that held his Jaejoong…



His beautifully unique window artist…



“Do you always draw hearts on taxi windows?”



He screamed in frustration and punched the top of the cab, making the driver curse at him, before driving off as the light turned green.



Without even being able to stop the taxi and make a promise…



No, he couldn’t give up yet.



Wait! His cellphone!



His reached down so he could grab his phone from pocket, but soon realized that he didn’t have his coat anymore.



He had given it to Jaejoong…Jaejoong had his cellphone.



!



He turned around and sprinted back towards his apartment, their apartment.



If he got on his home phone he could call his cellphone. He could make Jaejoong come back the apartment or at least wait for him at the airport.



And then, he would make his apology.



One moment’s dream



Moments later, he stumbled back to the front of his apartment. Only to find a lone figure standing right in the spot he had been standing moments before...and just a few feet from that same ugly yellow taxi cab.



Could it be…



“Jaejoong…”



The beautiful dark haired man turned to the sound of his voice, his doe eyes widen in surprise due to his obviously crazed, snow-colored, discombobulated state.



He must have looked like psycho right now.



“Changmin-ah..”



Your voice



The smaller man took cautious steps towards him and held out his pale hand, which held his bright red cellphone and placed into Changmin’s waiting one.



“Here. Your phone was in the pocke---!”



I want to embrace you



The man wasn’t able to finish his sentence before was he pulled into a tight embrace, while long arms wrapped strongly and possessively around his waist. His hands resting against the taller’s chest, his hand nestled into his long neck, while the taller placed gentle kisses on the top of the raven’s head before he rested his cheek on the soft, silky strands of hair.



“Changmin, wha—?”



“You were right, Jaejoong.”



He pulled away so he could stare in the confused man’s eyes, though his hands still refused to leave the man’s petite waist.



“I am an idiot. You were right.”



“Cha—.”



“Please just listen okay?”



Jaejoong went silent, biting his lips to keep from talking.



“I was an idiot for agreeing to let you leave like that. I am an idiot for not being honest with you about not wanting you to leave. I was so stupid to think that trying to make you happy, I ended up making you miserable. Making us miserable.”



Your fragile shoulders.



“But most importantly, I was an idiot for not keeping my promise to you. To fight for you, for us….”



Jaejoong’s eyes begun to quiver and tears seeped out of the corners and slid down his pale cheeks.



“I love you, Jaejoong.”



He gently placed a kiss on those pouty lips and caressed the man’s cheeks with his long fingers, wiping the salty wetness away in the process.



“Would you forgive me for being selfish this one time? Would you forgive me if I got onto my knees and begged you to stay with me? Even if it destroys your dream…or even if someday we grow to hate each other… would you please stay with me…don’t go, Jaejoong. For me…please don’t go.”



But tonight is ending…



He pulled the man into an even tighter embrace than before, letting the tears fall once again.



He wasn’t usually this cheesy, this sappy. Nor was he one to initiate any kind of physical affection.



It showed just how much the man in his arms had changed him. For the better.



Would Jaejoong forgive him for almost letting him go? Would he forgive him for wanting to be selfish?



“That’s all you had to say.”



Jaejoong pulled away smiling sweetly, tears still streaming down his bright red cheeks. Changmin watched them fall with a guilt-ridden expression.



Your playful smile…



“You are an inconsiderate, cruel-hearted, idiotic, and one hell of a snarky bastard, Changmin. You drive me crazy and make me want to throw myself into the Han River sometimes. And I’m sure I make you feel the same way.”



He looked away and sighed. Jaejoong could be mean when he wanted to be.



But he glanced back when he felt Jaejoong’s hand begin to brush the snow off of his shivering shoulders.



Your eyes…



“But no matter how much we fight or hurt each other. I love you, Shim Changmin. I love you…to the extent that it hurts. I want you to the degree that’s overflowing, like it’s melting…Don't you see? That I would rather spend a hundred years of selfish love with you, than a day of selfless love without you…”



“I would rather be miserable with you…than to be lonely without you…”



After flashing another stunning smile and a little playful tap on the cheek, Jaejoong stood on his tiptoes and kissed him passionately on the lips.



And as the heavy snow, that they had completely forgotten about, started to turn into a light flurry, the beautiful creature asked:



“Is that the right answer that you were looking for, Changmin?”



And the tall man smiled for the first time in months, his eyes mismatching like they did every time he showed a true smile.



“Yes. The perfect answer.”



Tonight is ending…

---

“Minnie-ah, what are you doing?” A giggle.



“Making window art of course.” An obvious reply.



“Do you always draw hearts on taxi windows?” A tease.



“Never used to. But now I do, every single time.” A confident answer.



“Why is that?” A serious question.



“Because…”



He moves away so the other person could view his work.



And within in the perfectly shaped heart was this:


'I LOVE KIM JAEJOONG. FOREVER.'


“So that everyone who rides in this taxi will know who I love the most.”



A smirk.



“That’s so childish.”



A laugh. A small peck. And a small hand held tightly within his grasp.



“No, it’s a work of art…”

---


Tonight is ending…



But the morning was just beginning…


THE END

==
 

AN: I'm sorry that it seemed kind of rushed at the end ;^^ Jaemin seemed to make up pretty fast after all of that and I'm not sure if I explained it well enough. I hope that doesn't bother anyone too much. And I hope the bold and italics didn't confuse anyone either. The change between past conversations and thoughts were intended to blend together, but I hope it still made sense :))
And I hope everyone liked the happy ending. It really needed it, so I'm okay with the way it turned out.

Anyway, please let me know what you think of it. Love it? Hate it? I'm all ears fo constructive riticism. Especially since its my first one for TVXQ and Jaemin. Yay! xDD I hope I can do more TVXQ fics soon, more specifically Yunjae and Minjae.

Thank you for reading!