WARNING: May contain things inapproprite for close-minded people. Yes. and bad words and all those shiz. I warned you.

I should have

It was soft, the bed that I woke up in. It was unusually warm as well. I only realized after a few seconds what had happened to me.

Lee Seunggi. His name alone gave me the creeps. He was behind this. I squinted at the darkness, trying to discern where I was. I realized my hands were tied. I seemed to be fully clothed. I tried moving my hands and feet, checking to see if I was okay.

“I didn’t do anything to you,” a voice from beside me sounded.

I almost screamed, maybe being the reason why a hand was suddenly clamped on my mouth.

The light and I was lying face to face with Seunggi.

“I just wanted you to know how comfortable it is,” he smiled menacingly.

“W-what do you mean?” I asked, trying my best to squirm away from him.

“They’re lying in an identical bed right now,”

“They?” and then everything came rushing back to me. My confession. Yoona. Donghae. Yoona’s laugh. Their affair. He knew. “I- I didn’t know a-about them. I s-swear,” My heart was pounding even more than what I have felt when my father was killed.

“Of course you didn’t. She was so keen on not telling you because you liked Donghae,” he chuckled. “I wonder why you’re so special,” he said, running his finger down my cheeks. “Ah. I’m making her important friend, cry. Don’t be so scared.”

I didn’t notice that I was already crying. I felt the tears running down as Seunggi smiled at me. His smile was menacing, it was as if he was telling you he’d have fun while he tortures you to death.

“We better go, the show’s about to start,” he smirked as he stood up from the bed. He carried me to a smaller room. My hands and feet were tied, making it hard for me to struggle.

There was only a couch in the small room. Images of torture began appearing on my mind. Will he me first before killing me? Will he let me keep my head? Will he do it quickly?

To my surprise, Seunggi merely placed me on the couch before settling down beside me. He had my wrists in his hands and my feet tied to the foot of the chair. It was impossible for me to move, my fear of him getting the better of me.

I didn’t know what he was doing, looking at a rectangular mirror. It was only when our lights turned off and the light from the mirror when I knew. It wasn’t really a mirror. It was a window.

And there on the other side was a room almost similar to the one we were previously in.

On the bed were two people, both and sleeping.

“Yoona!” I screamed, recognizing her from the tangle of sheets.

“Shush, you’ll wake them up,” Seunggi said from beside me. He took something from his pocket and in a flash, a knife was pressing against my neck, “Don’t try me.”

I had to get away from here. I have to save Yoona, it was the only thing that went on in my mind. I tried looking for some way to escape, but with my hands and feet immobile, I couldn’t do much.

After a few minutes, one of them stirred.

My eyes were already glued to the couple on the bed.

Donghae was the first one to wake up, his face in some sort of painful grimace. He was holding his abdomen in a strange way.

“Ah, what the ,” he said, his voice coming from a speaker somewhere.

Yoona stirred beside him, pushing away the blankets, revealing her body. “What’s going on?”

“Ah, . It hurts,” Donghae said, bending down.

“Donghae, what hurts?” Yoona said, fussing over him. I gasped as Donghae suddenly attacked her on the lips. Yoona was too surprised to move, but she didn’t pull away. When Donghae finally let go of her lips, they were already lying on the bed, their bodies engaged in a dance of lust and romance.

“Seunggi, what the ,” Donghae suddenly said, his head turned to where we were.

I felt my face pale on the realization that he can see us.

“Oppa, what’s this again?” Yoona gasped as she too looked to where we were.

“Does your tool hurt, Donghae?” Seunggi chuckled from beside me. “It’s only a little medicine. Better relieve yourself quickly. I’m sure you’re exploding inside.”

“You’re sick,” Donghae said, before bending down to bury his face on the sheets beside Yoona’s. “Are you to this once again?” his face was a mixture of lust and annoyance when he looked back up.

“Bastard,” Seunggi said loudly. “Go back to pleasuring Yoona. She had a little something too.”

“W-What?” he said as he looked down at Yoona who was squirming. She looked sweaty, her breaths coming in gasps. “Oh god, what’s wrong with you? Don’t you earn enough for unlimited subscription already?” Donghae chuckled as he bent down to kiss Yoona on the neck. “You better not be filming this again.”

“Oppa, why are you doing this?”

“Don’t you like it, girlfriend?” Seunggi asked her.

“I told you to stop this already,” she whimpered, her grip on the sheets tightening. “Are you thinking of blackmailing us once again?”

“You’re making it sound like I do this often. And anyways, somebody here needs to see a good show,”

“Somebody? What do you mean? What show?” Yoona asked before crying out loud. Donghae was already in between her legs. For a few seconds, nothing but moans and cries of pleasure were to be heard from both rooms.

It hurts, my chest tightening as I watched the two make love in front of my eyes. In the back of my head, SooYoung’s words came back to me. You’ll just get hurt. This was what she meant, right?

“Aw. You two made her cry,” he tightened his grip on my hands, making me whimper loudly.

Yoona and Donghae suddenly stopped. I saw them fumbling for the sheets.

“What’s the meaning of this, Seunggi?”

“I told you we have a guest,” Seunggi turned to me and slapped me on the cheek. I couldn’t stop myself from crying because of the pain. Yoona turned her head towards us, confusion in her face. I figured she really couldn’t see me.

Seunggi was telling me to do something but I couldn’t hear him anymore. My eyes were already blurry from the tears. I was looking at the couple. I vaguely heard Yoona call my name. I didn’t know how she knew it was me. I saw her crying as she ran out of the room.

“It’ll probably take some time before she opens that door. Why don’t you go meet them?” he bent down and cut the bonds on my feet.

“What did I ever do to you?” I cried.

“Oh honey, don’t misunderstand. This isn’t about you,” Seunggi said as he towered over me. “I just got tired of protecting them, that’s all. I’m tired of her using me to protect him. Hurting them is so much more fun,” he smiled before walking away from me.

Yoona’s screams made me look up. The door bursting open, Yoona’s screams, the wetness in my hands and face.

The door bursting open, Mom’s screams, the wetness in my hands and face.

“Oh my god!”

“Oh dear Lord!”

“Seunggi-oppa!” “Hyung!”

“Honey!” “Father!”

Yoona and Donghae were frozen in their spot, I could see fear in their eyes.

My mom stayed rooted in her spot. I saw brother inching towards me, his hands raised in some kind of surrender.

“Nobody’s going to hurt you now, my angel,”

“He wouldn’t hurt us now, Ma,”

I looked down at my sticky fingers. My hands were still tied together, his knife in between them. Blood everywhere. Blood. His blood.

I looked down at my sticky fingers, the kitchen knife dripping as I raised it up. Blood everywhere. Blood. His blood.

I looked down at Seunggi’s body beneath me. Pride swelling in my chest.

I looked down at father’s body beneath me. Pride swelling in my chest.

“I protected my angel. He was going to hurt my angel.”

“I protected my mother. He was hurting my mother.”

“Darling, you should eat,” mother said when she came to visit. She always comes to visit.

“I and your brother moved again. We’d take you there once you get out from here,” she said. “It’s near the sea. Don’t you like the sea, sweetheart?”

I remained silent through it all. Mom always cries whenever I start responding.

“They said you’d be out here soon. They dropped the charges. The lawyer managed to prove that you did it as self-defense. You just protected yourself from that monster, didn’t you, honey? You really didn’t mean to hurt him. And besides, he’s coming out of the hospital soon, too.”

“He’s alive?”

“Oh god, you’re finally speaking. Doctor! Nurse!” my mother was shouting. It made my ear hurt but I need to know.

“Mother, answer me. He’s alive?” I asked her again, standing up from my seat. The nurses were already running towards us.

“Yes darling, he’s alive.” My mother said before smiling at me. It was the first time I had cried for so long.

“I think that’s it for today. You probably should get some rest.”

“What’s wrong doctor? Why don’t you let me finish my story?”

“I apologize. You were crying and I thought that it was getting burdensome for you.”

“Oh, was I crying? I’m sorry. I haven’t noticed. I’m alright, doctor. It feels good to finally let this out.”

“Yes. This is the first time you’ve talked about what happened recently and I’m really grateful you told me.”

“Doctor, what have I been talking about this past few days?”

“Don’t you remember?”

“It’s about my father, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. Anyways, would you still like to continue your story? May I know what comes after it?”

“Nothing.”

“What do you mean by nothing?”

“The story stops there, doctor. I was taken away. I was locked up in here. The story ends there.”

“I see.”

“But you haven’t heard my insights yet.”

“Insights?”

“Yes. You always write that down, don’t you doctor?”

“What do you think I write?”

“That I don’t have any insight on what happened. That I don’t realize what I’ve done wrong.”

“Do you?”

“Oh but I do, doctor. I know what I’ve done wrong. It’s the reason I feel so different.”

“What do you mean by different?”

“Different from that time with my father. I now know what I did wrong.”

“Is that so? What do you think you did wrong?”

“I should have known that he wouldn’t die with just that. He’d just get back and hurt my angel once again. I shouldn’t have stopped...

...I should have killed him.”

I told you this is going to be dark.

A letter to all my readers here.