☆ Nemesis of the Sky Descendants ☆
by: LISHlian

//TITLE: (4/5)

Well it did brought that fantasy feel, but it didn't quite put off a spark to me.

//DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD: (5/5)

I like the way you wrote it. It makes me want to go on with your story.

//WRITING STYLE & APPEARANCE: (3/5)

I think the poster you used here was a bit messy and the subjects you want to emphasize weren't that clear to me. And... there's too much oppa. sobs sorry it's just that I cringe if I see that for too long in a fic. Also... there was this part: "Baekhyun: *dialogue here*" and that is contrasting with the " "*dialogue here*" said Baekhyun ".

//PLOT: (18/20)

From how things are going so far, I can't feel much of a fantasy here, tbh (probably except for that first part in Chapter 1 and the boys not aging). Because what I interpretted from fantasy was that it's full of magic or superstitious acts and smthn like that. Majority of this so far is mundane. But I could say that you have a good plot so far (plus I couldn't feel much of a KaiStal yet).

//ORIGINALITY: (18/20)

There were a few cliche ideas but you made it quite original.

//FLOW: (12/15)

The first part of Chapter 1 was too fast in my opinion, and I was quite confused, but as the story progresses, the flow's alright. Take time to describe each event.

//CHARACTERS: (13/15)

I like Chanyeol's role here because it's somewhat unique compared to the usual Chanyeol you have in majority of fics with Chanyeol; usually he's the joker or bubbly character in those, but in here, he seems real serious. I'm quite liking Sehun's role in here as well. However, as a reader who prefers to go along with what the characters are feeling, I couldn't quite feel that with the way you described them. (altho King Lee Sooman took me aback bc lmFAO OMG)

//GRAMMAR & SPELLING: (12/15)

There were a few grammatical and spelling errors. I would have to point these out:

"The alarm alarm rang." - This sounds really awkward.  Maybe "The clock rang." is more appropriate.

"You we're the one." - "we're" should be "were"

"Why do you always ears drop." - I don't think that should be "ears drop" but rather, "eavesdrop"

//OTHER REMARKS:

Ok haha tbh I wouldn't go against the "I've been with them for 17 years and I haven't noticed them getting a year older" thing because it's actually quite possible... to question if someone's really getting older physically or not, especially with EXO irl (and yes, Luhan, to be exact).

//t o t a l: (85/100)
odg sorry for the late review ugh the exams were killing me.