It's been two weeks since I've heard from her. No one knew that she left me during the "date". Her parents never said anything. My mother didn't say anything either. She just kept asking how the date went. I can easily get her number from my mother but I don't want to. What if our relationship will be like that? What if she will suddenly disappear from my life one day? Is she okay?

That question keeps coming to my mind. It keeps popping up. What happen that day? What was so urgent that made her leave like that? Was it me? Is she hiding from me?

All these questions keep circulating in my head. I can't stand it.

 

*Knock Knock* "Gikwang-ah~" I heard my mother's voice call me from the other side of the door.

"Honey~ Open the door," she knocked again.

I didn't move an inch. I just sat on my bed, my legs criss crossed. My iPad lay in front of me, screen dark.

"I'm coming in now Gikwang," I heard one last time before I heard my door unlock and open. My mother stepped in. Her face is full of worry. She made her way across my room and sat on my bedside.

She looked straight into my eyes and asked, "What's wrong honey? I'm worried. You've been in your room like this for days. Did something happen?"

"It's all your fault." I told her looking down at my hands.

"What exactly happened that day? Did she do something? Tell me, I'll take care of it," her face looks stressed. That was so childish of me to say such a thing. Sorry mother.

"Gikwang?" my mother took my hand and held it tightly. “Tell Umma, tell me Gikwanggie, I love you,” the tears began to build up. Her lips tremor.

What am I doing to my lovely mother? “Sorry Umma, I’m fine. Nothing happened,” I took my hand away from her hold and picked up the iPad. 1016. I entered the passcode and flipped back and forth on the home screen. ---- won’t leave my mind. No matter how hard I try, she still remains there. I’ve fallen hard for a girl like that. When I see her again, I’m going to be nice. I ‘m going to show her the real me. I’m going to be a gentleman.

“Gikwang?” I heard my mother again.

“Oh? Yeah mother, what?” I looked up once again.

“That’s it, I’m giving the Kwang family a little visit first thing tomorrow morning to see what’s going on. Go to sleep early honey.” My mother stood up and headed to the door. What she said didn’t register in my head until her hand wrapped around the doorknob.

“Umma! There’s no need to visit them! Everythings fine, why do you insist that something is wrong? I’m just going through those mood swings..”

“Are you suddenly a girl? Honey, let’s be serious now. You don’t get a monthly present so stop lying. It’s been two weeks since you left your room. Two weeks since you ate a real meal. You look like a mess my love. Have you looked at a mirror? I’m going to speak to ---- tomorrow and that’s final. Please get some rest Gikwang and don’t think too much. I want to see you at the breakfast table tomorrow morning. Good night my lovely son.” She blew me a kiss and left my room.

What can I say?

It is what it is Gikwang. It is what it is.

Then my mother’s question repeated in my mind a couple of times ‘Have you looked at a mirror?’ I actually haven’t mother. Do I look bad?

1016. I unlocked my iPad again and used the front camera to look at myself. HOLY SH- I haven’t shaved! I do look like a bum! A handsome bum. I look messy but I still look hot. Damn! How do you do that Gikwang? I’m proud of you!

*Buzz Buzz* Oh? That's my phone. But where is my phone? I should have the volume too. Aish.. I'll never find it!

*Buzz Buzz* WHERE IS MY PHONE?? I threw my blanket around. Nothing. I lifted my pillow. Still nothing. I checked my nightstand.Still nothing! Phone where are you? Do you want to die!?

*Buzzz Buzzz* "Stop buzzing!!! Where did I put it??" I began searching around my room. Why does my room need to be so big?! Dammit. Great the buzzing stopped. Time for a new phone? Under my bed? There's some light. Is it my phone?

I reached under my bed and felt around. Then I came across an object. Guess what it is! My phone.. I took it out and looked at the text and call history. Fifty-nine unread messages. Twenty-four missed calls. Wow I'm a popular guy. Hehe, I didn't bother reading any messages or checking who called. I plugged my phone in to charge.

*Dingg Donggggg* Who's visiting so late?

"Gikwang-ah~!!" That's my mothers voice. "Come downstairs honey~ Your friends are here!"

I left my room and headed downstairs. Oh? Yoseob and Hyunseong hyungs. "Hyung!" I smiled.

"Gikwang? You're a mess," Yoseob told me. His face is full of surprise.

"I still look good though right?" I winked and both of my hyungs laughed. "Come to my room guys~"

"Why don't you guys sleep over? It's late anyways," my mom offered them. They always sleep over and what not. We're like brothers!

"I'm staying!" Hyunseong raised his hand slightly and ran up the stairs. "Thank you umma~!" He said after he reached the top. Yes we call each others mothers 'umma' like no big deal. It isn't a big deal hehe.

"I'm staying too!" Yoseob smiled and ran up the stairs.

"Good night umma~" I smiled at her and headed upstairs. Then I heard: "Good Night Umma!!" From both of them.

"Good night kids," My mother chuckled and walked into the living room. I ran up the stairs to join them.

"Why'd you guys come here so late?" I asked them as I entered my room.

"Are we not welcomed?" Hyunseong replied pretending to look hurt.

"No you're not welcomed! Get out!" I tried to look mad. I can totally pull this off! Being arrogant is my thing.

"Too bad," Yoseob caught on and began to unpack his bag ignoring what I said.

"Stop joking," Hyunseong began unpacking bis bag as well. They know my too well. That isn't fair!

"Fine fine~" I moved down my blanket and laid it next to their sleeping bags. This is how we 'camp'. It's very fun~ My room is big too.

"We really missed you Gikwang-ah~" Yoseob hugged me. So much bromance goes on here. Sigh..

"I've always been home!"

"Did the girl dump you?" Hyunseong asked suddenly. Then her face flooded my mind. I finally got my mind off of her... Then she shows up again.

"No. I'm going to sleep." I got up and grabbed my pillow and laid down on the floor.

"What happened?" Yoseob asked me. I ignored it closing my eyes and tried to sleep. "Gikwang?"

"Let's talk Gikwang," Hyunseong said.

"Leave me alone." I covered my face with the blanket attempting to sleep.

"It's better to get it out of your mind. The more you keep silent, the more it'll hurt." Yoseob said to me.

"I don't know hyung," I spoke from under the cover.

"What don't you know?" Yoseob asked.

"Come out from under there first Gikwang," Hyunseong told me and tugged a little on my cover. I finally sat up and looked at both of them.

"I don't know what I'm doing... I don't know if I really like her. Is it possible to fall for someone in minutes?"

"To fall in like with someone is possible within minutes. But not in love," Hyunseong spoke first.

"You can decide the next time you see her. When you see her, ask yourself questions. Ask yourself what you see in her, what is it about her that stands out, and are you able to spend hours with her." Yoseob advised.

But I won't see her again... I won't... "Hyung, I won't see her ever again..." I began playing with my thumb.

"What do you mean?" Yoseob's face looked puzzled. Actually, both of their faces look puzzled.

Our conversation:

Me: "She left."

Hyunseong: "Please elaborate a little. Tell us about the date."

Me: "I don't know."

Yoseob: "Come on, we're trying to help. Let us."

Me: "I had to pick her up from her house. She was all sweet around her mother. Then in the car, she was like a whole new person. She knew exactly how to reply to my cruel speech and my over confidence. I took her to our practice room an-"

Hyunseong: "You took her to our practice room??"

Yoseob: "Let him continue!"

Me: "Yes I took her to our practice room. She showed me a little dance. That little was amazing. I had flutters in my heart already. But when she danced.. I don't know. She was so graceful and con