PROLOGUE: UNTIL MY HEART STOPS BEATING.

“ jonghyun’ah wake up! You’re going to be late again”

“aishh this kid”

Ricky grumbles as he chops the onion finely into small cubes. At times he would turn around and shout again to wake the sleepy young lad who seemed to be stuck on the bed sheet. Changhyun was getting tired, it has been two days straight since he slept properly.  The exhibition was coming up within two weeks and to make it worse, today was their anniversary. The list of errands runs endlessly and most of it was left to be done by him alone.

Just when he was about to wash his hands, fatigue had eaten him over. Sore limbs or aching shoulder were just small matters, what he had feared most was something much more horrifying. And it came the moment he put down the knife. His chest was tight and air had thinned out. Ricky couldn’t breathe and there was nothing he could do. He could never let jonghyun know, that his heart started to hurt again.

But it was too much, his skin crawled with sharp pain as he staggered to the bathroom. When his frail limbs had failed and he was heading to the ground. Moments before crashing down a strong firm grip on his waist had held him up pulling him close to a heavy thumping chest. Changhyun smirked as he looked up to the worried maknae.

“I told you to rest didn’t i…”

“go sit down changhyun, I’ll finish up the dishes and other stuff”

The strong maknae scoffed at the state of his lover who was weak and lifted the slightly smaller boy off the ground, carrying changhyun on his arms as if he was holding a lightweight child. Ricky loved it, the fact that his boyfriend was that strong. Dependable each time he needed help. Then gently the younger lad put ricky down on the couch as he heads to the kitchen grabbing breakfast along with a box of prescriptions. That was changjo’s best trait, no matter how tired or angry, the boy always makes sure that his boyfriend was eating his meds properly.

“you keep doing useless work that drains your energy. Not eating properly, staying up late”

“I don’t know what to say anymore changhyun’ah…”

The younger lad sat down beside ricky as he held changhyun’s hand tight. Worries and concerns emits brightly from those deep hazel eyes as he looked down to the floor. Ricky knew well of how scared changjo can be at times. Especially the fact that they just got over a major surgery that almost killed the elder lad.

“I’m fine jonghyun’ah. Don’t worry. It’s a brand new heart so I pretty sure I can handle a few sleepless night”

“And the doctor said that I can live normally now. Who know if my art sells well you can stop doing those part time jobs. I’ll feed us both well then haha”

They were struggling. Money was the runner up of their problems. Lists of expensive medication, living expenses and many more had pushed them both to stop studying and head straight to labor. But given of changhyun’s weak state the only breadwinner of the house was jonghyun. But it didn’t matter, jonghyun would give the world to changhyun if that could keep the boy alive.

“ goshh.. my boyfriend got strong these days huh”

“Fine, work your out and make money ricky. We need it”

Hours passed.

Ricky used each one with great care preparing for a special dinner. Their favorite night of all, it was their anniversary. One night where jonghyun wouldn’t have to head out to work early the next morning, a night where all they can think of was each other.

Changhyun chest still has those lingering pain but he decided to ignore them. Maybe with a few more pills the pain would fade away, he thought to himself. Then as the door creaked, changhyun hid behind the kitchen wall and the moment his boyfriend walked in, the cute boy jumped enthusiastically pushing them both to the ground. Laughing changhyun looked at his groaning boyfriend who had hit the ground a bit rougher than he did.

But changjo didn’t hate it; the younger lad looked at ricky silently and smiled sweetly as he pulls the elder closer. Kissing ricky’s forehead, then to his nose slowly trailing to the elder’s lips. Slowly heating up the kiss as changhyun wraps the boys face closer, gluing themselves together. Just when things were getting steamy, jonghyun broke away.

“Aishhh I forgot the beer!”

“ yah choi jong hyun! I told you specifically to buy them this morning. How could you forget?!”

“ im sorry, I’ll go now”

Ricky stared at the younger lad with a threatening gaze as they both stood up. Changjo smiled sheepishly asking the elder for forgiveness as he rubs his cold hands together, attempting to do aegyo.   Then the tall lad turned around and heads out but just before he walked out of the door ricky used all his might pulling the maknae close to his face as he pecks the younger blushing red lips and whispered..

“hurry up….pabo”

“I’ll be waiting be jonghyun’ah…..”

“always…”

The sudden attacked made jonghyun burst out in sweet small giggles as his face reddens. The elder closed the door with a naughty smirk and a mischievous wink.

The clock keeps ticking while ricky sat on the couch waiting for jonghyun. Then suddenly ricky’s pinkish skin turned white as he feels his heart pounding irrationally. Its back, the sharp stinging pain within his chest. This time even more painful than before, ricky couldn’t even breath. No, there was no air and his started to feel like they were pulsing crazily.

Hesitations were eating time as ricky held the smartphone within his palms, going back and forth whether to call his lover or not. It hurt, his chest was filled with pain but he worries if the pain was temporary.

But there was no time to doubt the stinging pain within his chest. Trembling, the boy dialed the only number he knew would run and save him.

[ringing]

“uh changhyun’ah . im on my way just a lil bit more”

“an..anya… jjo..jonghyun… it hurts”

“jong… ugh……..[thud]”

Beep…..

Changjo froze. The winter wind was not so chilly but yet the boy’s heart was completely frozen, crumbling into fine ashes each breath he took. The silence made him mad.

He dropped everything and sprinted as fast he could. The boy he loves had collapsed and the last it happened, jonghyun almost lost ricky. Everything was pitch black, only his path home was gleaming with red.

Colliding with each passer-by, blindly apologizing as he speeds through. He didn’t care anymore. Ricky’s pain was like a red button deep within his mind, like a parachute he would flew and save the elder boy.

But just like a parachute, it meant being worn and torn each timed it saves the person it needs. So just like a blind parachute jonghyun tripped, fall and bleed. Still he stood up and ran again, because he knew the one who he never wants to get hurt was the exact person who would likely to disappear.

Just one more junction and he’d reach home. Just a few more wide steps and he would reach ricky.

He could see it, his home. Glistening bright windows just across. He took a big step and kept running, entirely blinded of the red lights.

“im almost there, changhyun’ah hold on”

[loud vehicle horn]

Jonghyuns pale skin glistened under the trucks limelight. Ruby red blood slowly spread across the rough pitch black tar as the boy chokes on his own blood. Writhing and twitching gently as tears flooded the boy’s eyes. As they were locked on the brightly lit windows, his home just a few steps more….

People stated to swarm the road as they silently watched in terror. But what they did not saw was the desperation within the victim’s eyes…..

“w..wait for me, ch..c..changhyun’ah”

“Im.. cc..com..ming”

Another day came as ricky opened his eyes to a bright day. He could see the birds flying and the big blue sky. The pain in his chest had faded just as he expected….

But something was missing, the candles on the cake was still burning.

Choi Jonghyun was not home…..

“where are you, jonghyun’ah…”

“im waiting…”