Companion piece to Rock, Paper, ed Up 

“I can't believe they actually locked us in,” Jongdae grouses, slumping against the wall.

Yixing snorts. “They're our children,” he reminds him. “They don't do being nice, normal kids. They get off on making our lives as difficult as possible.”

Jongdae gives him a disturbed look. “I'd rather not think about my children getting off on anything, thank you very much. I have enough of that with Shang. Our youngest daughter is only nine, you do realise?”

“Obviously I realise that.” Yixing sighs, wondering if he should try banging on the door and pleading with his obstinate children for the umpteenth time. He still has no answer for their question, however, and he hates that they know just how to guilt trip him. Don't you like being with daddy? Little s.

As soon as he gets out of here – whenever that might be – he will be confiscating every electronic device within ten metres of his horrible children.

“What do they even think this is going to achieve?” Jongdae asks, a little bewildered. He's still in pyjamas, because he was about to enjoy a well-earned lie-in when Jongseok and Sunhwa pushed Yixing in (giggling maniacally – it was honestly frightening) and locked the door.

“They said something about us finally getting engaged,” Yixing says helplessly, throwing his hands up. “I don't know. I wasn't listening. I was trying to get out of their hold, in case you didn't notice.”

“You know that's futile.” Jongdae chuckles, amused despite himself. “Where did we go wrong?” He flounces over to the bed dramatically, falling backwards so he can starfish. Yixing blinks at him, bemused.

“When we decided to have more children.” He responds automatically. “We should have known we were onto a good thing when Shang turned out semi-okay.”

“Yeah, but Matty's sort of normal...” Jongdae caves under the unimpressed look Yixing gives him. “Okay, so he only looks normal, but you'd have thought we could have managed that with our children...”

“Matthew is only five years old,” Yixing waves a dismissive hand, “he has yet to grow into his insanity.”

“That's bull, Xing.” He leans up on his elbow. “Jongseok and Sunhwa were weird long before they passed the five year mark.”

Yixing grunts, nudging Jongdae onto his side of the bed as he crawls in with him. Jongdae throws an arm around his shoulder, adjusting himself so that they can snuggle into one another without even thinking. “Yeah, but at least they're smart. And interesting.” He considers for a moment. “Although it would be nice if Shang and Jongseok did their homework without being asked.”

“Did you ever do your homework willingly?” Jongdae shakes his head. “Nah, that's just them exhibiting somewhat normal behaviour for once in their lives.”

“I had to do my homework,” Yixing says darkly, “I didn't dare cross any of my teachers. Or my grandmother...”

“Ah, your grandmother,” Jongdae reminisces fondly. “She hated me.”

“You didn't exactly endear yourself to her,” Yixing points out, as Jongdae leans his head against his chest.

Jongdae grumbles against his shirt. Yixing prods him in the ribs. “I think we were past the point of making a good impression on her when she caught me about to wank you off in our room. You could have told me she was visiting and didn't have a clue you were gay.”

“You also didn't have to stick your hand down my pants.” Yixing adds dryly.

“Hey, I was helping you out!” Jongdae says indignantly, leaning up, his elbows on Yixing's chest, deliberately digging in; Yixing winces.

“Okay, okay,” Yixing laughs at the grouchy expression on Jongdae's face. “You look like a deranged Muppet, Jongdae, stop it.”

“ it, I'm hungry,” Jongdae moans, lying half across his partner. “That's it. We're cracking down on behaviour as soon as we get out of this room. After I eat the biggest pizza I can find.”

Yixing considers telling Jongdae he's no longer a twenty year old and that he should probably think about what he eats, but seeing as he's hungry and would most likely join him in eating that pizza, he'd be a hypocrite. “You said that after we caught Jongseok trying to dig that giant tunnel to the middle of the Earth in the garden and you fell in it and sprained your ankle.”

“Well, yes – ”

“And the time Sunhwa ran away to join the circus and ended up on a train to Swindon, of all places.” Yixing continues, heedless of Jongdae's interruptions.

“That was different – ”

Yixing counts off on his fingers, “Oh, and that time Shang took them all ice skating without our permission, and they lost Matthew to that strange French bloke who didn't want to give him back.”

Jongdae has no response to that last one, because it was possibly one of the most frightening experiences of his life. “Okay,” he says, “so maybe we're not brilliant at curbing their...excesses.”

“Look,” Yixing starts, pushing himself upwards so that he can lean his back against the headboard of their bed. Jongdae watches him curiously. “If we can't beat them, why don't we join them?”

“You mean install locks on their bedroom doors? Because I've been thinking about that one for a while, and I think we could do it one afternoon while they're at Mimi and Joonmyun's – ”

“No,” Yixing sighs, exasperated. “I mean...you know,” he looks meaningfully at Jongdae.

Jongdae stares back, nonplussed. it, he's going to have to be more explicit. This is embarrassing, and it really shouldn't be – he's forty-seven, for Christ's sake. You'd think he'd be a bit more grown up than this.

“You know...” He mumbles, hoping the heat on his cheeks is some kind of freak temperature spike, rather than him blushing. “Get engaged,” he says eventually, coughing awkwardly.

“Oh.” Jongdae sits up too, arms crossing. “But I thought you wanted to do it...right, you know?”

“Yeah, but...what is right?” Yixing says uncomfortably. “Maybe for us, being locked in by our crazy kids is the right way to get engaged.”

Jongdae raises one dark eyebrow. “I really don't think that's the right way to get engaged for anybody, especially as it implies we didn't do it willingly.” He unfolds his arms to take hold of one of Yixing's hands. “Look, we don't have to do this. It was just one of my silly ideas because Sunhwa brought it up. I'm happy as we are,” he says earnestly, brown eyes wide and honest.

“I was going to propose to you while we were on holiday,” Yixing admits, scratching the back of his neck bashfully. “I had it all planned, because, you know, we were in Harry Potter land, which is like your idea of heaven,” – Jongdae listens, open-mouthed and nods, because, well, it's true. He has the Deathly Hallows tattooed on his arse, for god's sakes – “and it was our first big holiday with all the kids, and we'd saved up for it, and we'd set up the bet and...yeah.” He sighs. “But then the incident happened.”

Ah, yes. The incident. Jongdae can picture it with crystal-clear clarity. He shivers.

“That's possibly the most romantic thing you've ever done for me,” he blurts out before he can stop himself. “Are you sick?” He asks, genuinely worried.

Yixing narrows his eyes. “No.” He looks up as Jongdae shuffles up next to him, sliding a leg over his lap so that he's straddling him. “I didn't have a ring, or anything,” he mumbles, as Jongdae places a hand on his cheek, “I figured you wouldn't want that, as you don't wear rings.”

Jongdae hums in agreement. The one more likely to wear rings is Yixing. He leans down, pressing his lips against Yixing's. He kisses him slowly for a minute, before pulling back to whisper in his ear. “Yes,” he murmurs, “I'll marry you.”

“You will?” Yixing's not sure why he sounds so surprised.

“Why not?” Jongdae's eyes are dancing with merriment, but Yixing can tell he's serious. “Let's make honest men of each other.”

“Ha!” Yixing snickers. “I think we're long past that one.” He slides a hand up Jongdae's thigh, unable to stop the grin spreading across his face. “I honestly never thought I'd actually be happy about marrying you,” he teases, as Jongdae rolls his eyes.

“Oh ,” Jongdae realises something, “this means that technically you've won the bet, no – ” He mumbles to himself pathetically. “I was so sure you'd never win...”

“Thanks,” Yixing deadpans, more amused than offended. “You have so much faith in me. It's nice to know you think of me as some sort of idiot.”

“Nah,” Jongdae shakes his head, still on his lap; it's kind of starting hurt Yixing's knees, but he doesn't dare say anything for fear of Jongdae's sharp tongue. “You're my idiot, which makes you special. Not everyone can say they have me, you know.” He grins smugly.

“Er...” Yixing pauses, “I don't think that's true. Do you want me to try and count how many people you've slept with, because I really don't think we have the time...”

Jongdae pushes him for that, and he topples sideways as he laughs. “I hate you sometimes.”

“Same to you,” Yixing says cheerfully, “but anyway,” he wriggles out from underneath Jongdae, “don't you think we should let the little monsters know that it's mission accomplished?”

Jongdae's expression turns crafty. “Yes, but let's have a little fun with them first...”

***

Jongseok and Sunhwa's heads shoot up when they hear thumps coming from inside their fathers' bedroom. “What – ”

Sunhwa scrambles upwards, pressing her ear against the door. “How dare you,” she hears her dad bellow, louder than she's ever heard him, “if that's what you think, why don't you just ing leave!”

“I might as well,” their bàba roars back, sounding so angry that it makes Sunhwa scurry back, “I've wasted my life with you!”

The sound of thundering footsteps follows that statement, as Jongseok and Sunhwa share a fearful glance. They huddle closer together as the door bursts open to reveal...

A very unimpressed looking Yixing. “Key, now,” he orders, holding his hand out. Timidly, Sunhwa walks forward to drop it in his hand, looking terrified.

“B-bàba,” Jongseok stutters, “what's happening?”

Yixing smiles magnanimously. “Oh, that,” he waits for a second, as Jongdae saunters over to stand next to him, arms crossed. “Your dad and I have decided to get married.”

Both children stare at their parents, dumbfounded.

Jongdae smiles in satisfaction. “And so the masters triumph once more.”

Parents: 1 Children: 0