Himchan received a call one morning.

He was half asleep by then, reaching out for his phone blindly as he rubbed his eyes lazily. When he’d had a firm grip on his ringing phone, he strained his eyes to read the digital numbers on the clock that was sitting still on the bedside table.

4.57 a.m.

He was only asleep for 2 hours and the people from the hospital are already calling back for him. He suppressed the sigh in his throat and pushed the answer button with his thumb, placing the phone to his ear as he leaned against the headboard of the bed.

“Doctor Kim, we need you here. A ten-year old boy has just been admitted into the ER. He’s bleeding profusely. I think he’d stepped on a land mine.”

Himchan got up from his bed and threw open his closet, thanking the nurse who’d called him for informing him about it and telling her that he would reach the hospital in 10 minutes.

He fished out his grey trench coat and grabbed his car key, not to forget locking the door to his one-storey house before he occupied the driver’s seat of his car and ignited the engine, driving off to the hospital in attempt to save yet another soul.

♦

“Doctor Kim!” a male nurse named Yoo Youngjae greeted Himchan as soon as he arrived at the hall of the ER. “Good thing you’re here. The boy’s still bleeding. I think we need to perform a surgery.”

“Is he conscious?” Himchan asked, tugging at the lapels of his own white coat.

“Barely,” Youngjae replied, voice a little bit anxious. “We have to enter the ER now, Doctor Kim.”

“Alright,” Himchan nodded and was led by the nurse into the ER, preparing for a surgery.

Another surgery. Another task to do.

Himchan could only bid farewell to his goodnight’s sleep.

♦

Himchan stared at his own reflection in the mirror and blew his fringe aside. Then he put up a smile, only to frown in the end because he thought that he looked weird smiling alone in the toilet. As he washed his hands, Youngjae entered the toilet, whistling happily.

“Oh Doctor Kim!” Youngjae greeted him cheerfully.

Himchan only responded with a nod. The nurse was always on high spirit. Himchan had never seen him in a bad mood before.

“We’re planning on having dinner together at a new restaurant a few blocks away, you should join us.”

“Uh…I don’t think I can make it,” Himchan said, avoiding the nurse’s eyes.

“Oh come on Doctor Kim!” the nurse tugged the sleeve of his coat.

Sometimes Youngjae could be quite annoying, Himchan thought. Sure, he’d known the nurse for as long as he could remember but he was never the type of person to engage himself into a deeper relationship with someone else other than his family. He’d never displayed any kind of affection towards his co-workers. It was weird, even if they had known each other for a long time. And to tell the truth, Himchan disliked attending parties or gatherings because it would require him to do a lot of talking and thinking—he was more towards the introvert side so that explained why he had to do a lot of thinking. Plus, he didn’t like wasting money on something that didn’t bring him any good.

“You always give us empty excuses. I know what you do whenever you get back home. You always sleep. That’s like doing nothing!”

Himchan narrowed his eyes at the nurse and was about to respond when the nurse once again, tugged at his sleeve.

“You have to learn to be more friendly, Doctor Kim,” Youngjae gave him a small smile. “We’ve known each other for like 5 years and not even once have I seen you hang out with us and socialize properly. I can’t even address you by your name casually because you’re too…distant from us. Did you know that the others talk about your cold demeanor a lot?

“I know you hate loud, crowded place but it doesn’t hurt to try right? What do you say? Dinner with us tonight?”

Himchan pressed his lips in a tight line and closed his eyes. Youngjae stood in front of him, waiting for his answer patiently. When Himchan opened his eyes, he gave the nurse a smile which he’d hoped would look apologetic.

“I haven’t slept well today.”

“I understand,” Youngjae nodded, disappointment evident on his face. He patted the doctor on the shoulder and turned away, lifting his right hand to bid farewell. “Make sure you get enough rest. I really don’t like seeing your tired face.”

♦

With a slice of bread in his mouth, Himchan sat down at the desk in his office and stared at the file in his left hand. Youngjae had given him the file that morning. He flipped to the first page and read the name of his patient.

Choi Junhong.

Ten years old.

Orphan.

Himchan bit his lower lip at the last statement. Poor kid, he was clinging to the last thread of his life and his parents weren’t there by his side. He was fighting alone for his life while lying on the cold table. Himchan had only been his supporter, trying his best to keep him alive by performing the surgery. The boy would surely be sad when he wakes up from his sleep and finds out that he’s alone, Himchan thought. 

What was the boy doing in the field anyway? How did he end up stepping on a land mine? 

Somehow curiosity had managed to worm its way to Himchan’s mind. The doctor closed the file and decided to pay the boy a visit the next day.

♦

“Hello there, Junhong,” Himchan gave the boy who was sitting on the bed a little wave as he entered the room.

There were a few other kids in the room. They were all asleep, although it was already 10 in the morning. Junhong was the only one awake. He’d been staring outside the window beside his bed silently before the doctor entered the room.

“Hello,” the boy bowed his head politely.

Himchan’s features softened at the sight. The boy had been taught properly by his guardian. He found himself biting his lower lip again when he was reminded that the boy had lost both of his parents.

“How are you? Does your leg hurt?” Himchan questioned in a gentle tone as he sat down on the bed, offering the boy a smile that he hoped would lessen the loneliness he’d seen on the boy’s face.

Good thing that the boy hadn’t lost his leg in the explosion. Himchan was glad that he had the opportunity to save the boy.

“I’m fine,” Junhong replied, his voice a bit hoarse due to dehydration. “My legs feel numb though.”

“The anesthetic will fade later. It does that to your body. Have you taken the medicine that Nurse Yoo gave you?”

“Yes,” Junhong nodded and yawned.     

“Do you feel tired?”

“A little bit,” the boy looked out the window again and Himchan caught the longing expression on his face.

“Do you wanna go outside?” Himchan made a guess. Actually he was never good at making assumption.

The boy turned to face him and nodded shyly, as if what he was doing was wrong. Himchan chuckled at his humble response and stood up from the bed.

“Well, you’re still recovering so it’s better for you to stay indoors. When you get better, I promise I’ll take you out to the garden. For now, would you like to go to the playroom?”

The boy’s lips curled up into a smile and he nodded excitedly. Himchan then asked Youngjae to provide the boy with a wheelchair and brought the boy to the playroom.

♦

Junhong was a bright child. Himchan found out about it when they spent the time at the playroom. At first, the boy was shy. He was hesitant to talk to other kids in the room but when Himchan urged him to introduce himself; he’d obliged and did what he was told.

The other kids had welcomed him with open arms.

He mingled easily with them and it gave this warm feeling to Himchan.

“What were you doing in the field, Junhong?” Himchan asked as he watched the boy scribble down random letters on a drawing block he’d given him earlier.

By now the other kids had retreated to their respective rooms, already exhausted from playing all day long.

“I was just playing around,” Junhong answered, not taking his eyes off the colorful letters he’d created. His eyes glimmered with excitement and Himchan was glad that he saw no more trace of loneliness on the boy’s face.

“Did you know that the place was dangerous?”

“Umm, no,” Junhong shook his head guiltily. “I’m sorry.”

“Ah, no.” Himchan held up both of his hands, chuckling lightly. “Why would you apologize to me? It’s not your fault anyway. You were clueless. It’s okay.”

Junhong only nodded in reply and resumed to his current activity. Himchan sat beside him silently, observing the way he held tightly on the color pencil in his hand, as if he was afraid that someone would take it away from him. 

When Junhong let out a yawn and finally stopped scribbling, Himchan glanced at his watch to find out that it was already 10 p.m.

“You should go to sleep, it’s late,” Himchan told the boy.

The boy nodded and let Himchan wheel him back to his room.

When they’d reached his room, Himchan helped him to lie on his bed and pulled the blanket over his thin frame. Himchan also made sure that the boy was in a comfortable position since his left leg was wrapped up with gauze.

“Thank you Doctor Kim,” Junhong thanked him.

“You can just call me hyung,” Himchan found himself saying that before he could interpret anything. “Now close your eyes and sleep.”

“See you tomorrow, hyung.”

“Uh, good night,” Himchan said awkwardly.

When he was outside the room, Himchan studied the drawing that the boy had drawn in the playroom.

It was a drawing of a boy playing in a field alone.

Himchan felt a weight on his chest.

♦

 “How old were you when your parents passed away?” Himchan asked tentatively, eyeing the boy who sat beside him with pure concern.

He’d been visiting the boy more frequently for the past few days. He didn’t know why he did it. Maybe because he was curious about him or maybe he was bored.  

“I don’t remember,” Junhong shook his head, not making eye contact with the doctor.

Himchan suddenly felt bad for bringing up the topic. He knew he shouldn’t have asked. It was none of his business to know about the boy’s life.

“But I think they left me while I was asleep,” Junhong added after a few seconds of silence.

Himchan looked down at the drawing Junhong had drawn. It was yet another drawing of a boy playing by himself.

“Daddy told me that I shouldn’t go outside the house that often because he was afraid that I would get hurt. I didn’t want to get hurt so I stayed inside. But daddy and mommy went outside anyway. I heard something loud and when I opened the front door, I saw daddy and mommy lying on the ground.”

“J-junhong,” Himchan started but then he bit his lips. He didn’t know what to do.

This boy was telling him about something that a child should have never experienced in his life and yet, here he was, reciting the story as if it was something that had come out of a story book.

How could a child as innocent as him live such a tragic life? Why had the corrupted world decided to give the child misfortune?

Himchan felt that it was unfair but who was he to judge the world? The world was destined to be that way. He was merely a traveler in this world—like other humans, leaving as many footprints as he could in the world before he was to return back to where he belonged.

“Can I have more drawing blocks, hyung?” Junhong asked, turning to face Himchan who’d been lost in his thoughts.

“Ah, sure,” Himchan nodded and grabbed more drawing blocks from the top drawer located at the corner of the playroom.

The boy continued to draw until it was time to sleep. As usual, Himchan would wheel him back to his room and help him to lie down. After tucking the blanket securely over the boy’s now healthy body, Himchan headed to the door and waved at him.

“See you tomorrow hyung,” Junhong said.

Himchan blinked and thought for a while. Then he fixed his gaze on the boy lying in the bed and tilted his head slightly.

“Junhong?”

“Yes?”

“Why won’t you say good night?”

“Because the night is never good.”

Himchan blinked again. It took him only three seconds to put the pieces together.

“Well, see you tomorrow, Junhong.”

Himchan closed the door gently and leaned against it, shutting his eyes and letting out a light sigh.

No matter how wrong he was, he could only blame the world for letting such things happen to the innocent boy.

♦

“You’re warming up to the kid,” Youngjae said one morning.

Himchan turned away from the sink in his office and faced the nurse confusedly.

“What do you mean?”

“I see the way you talk to him,” Youngjae smiled. “The boy is fond of you, Doctor Kim. I think you’re better with kids.”

“I am not…” Himchan retorted.

“Oh yeah? But it looks that way to me.”

Himchan tried coming up with an excuse but he found no words rolling down his tongue.

“That’s a good thing,” Youngjae assured him. “At least you have that side of you.”

“Huh,” Himchan scoffed.

“I’m telling the others that you’re no Scrooge.” The nurse smirked, patting the doctor’s shoulder before he skipped out of his office.   

♦

“Hey, look what I’ve brought for you,” Himchan held up a set of color pencils in his hands.

“Is it for me, hyung?” Junhong eyed the item in interest.

“Uh-huh,” Himchan nodded. Then he grabbed a stool and sat down beside the boy. “You love drawing so I figured that I should buy one for you. You’ll have your own color pencils instead of using the hospital’s.”

“Thank you very much hyung,” Junhong gave him a hug—which had surprised Himchan— and without wasting time, started drawing with the color pencils he’d just received from the doctor.

Himchan rested his chin on his palm and observed the boy as he drew a boy playing in a field. He thought that he would stop drawing once he’d finished the figure but then the boy surprised him when he drew another figure beside the previous one.

It was a figure of an adult wearing a white coat, holding the boy’s hand.

Himchan craned his neck to look at the nurse who’d been observing him and the boy from the start. Then he rolled his eyes and pretended that he didn’t see the smirk on the nurse’s face.

I hate you, Yoo Youngjae.

Himchan used to see the world colorless. He had always thought that the world was nothing but a place for people to live temporarily and leave when their time came but today he had learned something new.

The world was not colorless— the boy had proved him wrong and yeah, maybe Youngjae should be included.

He just had to look long enough for the colors to emerge.

A/N:   

Okay, so I failed to convey the message of this story properly. I think this is confusing. Actually this story is about a doctor who didn’t know how to embrace the totality of life. He thought that since living in this world was only temporary, he didn’t need to do much about his life. It is more like he lived only to wake up, go to work and then sleep. But when he met this unfortunate boy, the one he’d saved, he felt like there was another purpose in his life. And it wasn’t only to live for himself, it was to live for someone else too.

I hope that clears things up a little bit? No? Okay….

And might I add, I think I’ve overused Junhong as the symbol of innocence. I should refrain myself from doing that.

(I have a soft spot for innocent children...) =_=