Nichkhun stalked forward, the blood surging, pulsating throughout his entire body. His eyes were fixated on the farmhouse. He could see movement and hear the beating of their hearts. He needed to end it, the irritating sound. It thudded against his ears, filling his head with pain. He needed to stop it. Rolling his head, he ran forwards.

                Please...not this memory.

                As he approached, he spotted the matriarch first. A pain jolted throughout his body as he neared her. The kindest woman he'd ever met, who gave him counsel when he required it, was his first victim: Lady Hwang.

                “Oh, Prince Horvejkul...” Lady Hwang looked up at him as he neared. “Are you...” His hand gripped tightly.

                Body running ragged, he looked around. She squirmed under the force of his grip.

                “What...happ...ened..?” She reached out and ran her fingers down his face. “Please...c...can’t...” His grip loosened for only a second. "My prince, you must fight this blood inside you." She said, aware of his ailment.

                "S-Sorry..." Her eyes widened as his hand jerked and her head lolled back.

                “Ahhh!!!” 

                “Mama!!”

                By now the others would be alerted. They could stop him, he wouldn’t kill anyone else. He turned to the girls.

                “Girls?”

                Nichkhun faced Sir Hwang.

                “Your highness...why are you..?” His gaze landed on his deceased wife. “We paid our price!” He cried and made to run to her. “Why are you doing this? Why did you kill-

                Nichkhun slammed his fist through his ribcage. Water trekked down his face.

                *What a monster you are?* She laughed. *No wonder he wants you for himself, you are a good vessel for the feral qualities of Wooyoung's blood.*

                Shut up! Shut up. Shut up. Shut up! Make it stop!!

                *You cannot stop what has already happened, foolish one.*

                One by one the members of the family fell. His body was covered with their blood. He stalked around the property. He felt two more, there were two beating hearts left. Then he found them, the last of the Hwang bloodline. The two sons were huddled together, the older had his hand over the younger’s mouth. It didn’t matter now, he had found them. A familiarity overcame him and his senses went on high alert, stopping him in his tracks.

                *Now I will see where we failed.*

                Nichkhun’s hands went up to his head. He wanted her out of his mind. What do you mean, ‘where we failed’?

                No response came to him. Instead his body moved towards them.

                “Please, your highness! We spoke to no one about the deep magic!” The oldest cried and shielded his brother. “Please have mercy.” One of them was soothing the madness and he didn't know which. He reached down and brought the oldest to his feet. He couldn't just kill them the way he did the others. He wanted the sweet elixir flowing through their veins. Fangs lengthening, he jerked him forwards and buried his fangs within his neck. The sweet taste of blood filled his mouth.

                “No!” The youngest sobbed. “Let my brother go! You monster!”

                He didn’t relent. The oldest boy slowly stopped moving, and he dropped him to the floor. Slowly, he reached for the youngest. As soon as their skin met a tingle went through his arm. The frenzy halted for only a second. Tear-filled eyes, blood smeared face, fear. He feared him.

                “Please...let me go... You're not this person.” His hand smoothed down the tear-trekked cheek. "I'll fix it, just tell me what's wrong."

                Chansung...

                “I’m...sorry...”

                The boy’s face twisted with sorrow and terror. He dragged him forward and sunk his fangs into his neck. A hand gripped his tight, and the warmth berated against his whole body, urging him to stop. “N-Nichkhun...please...didn't you promise to protect me forever..?”

                A light descended upon him, and the boy fell away. He felt himself soaring back, Wooyoung between the two boys. He out. When he awoke, he was under restraint and beside Changmin.

                “Your body was possessed...” Changmin murmured.

                “What?”

                “Changmin! We need blood!” That was Wooyoung, where was he? Changmin nearly tripped as he scurried back into the room. “Bring me Nichkhun.”

                He did not like that tone.

                “Why?” Changmin asked.

                “Bring. Him. To. Me. Now!”

                Nichkhun was frozen stiff with fear. What had he done? He was dragged back into that room. Looking around in a daze, his gaze fell upon the two bodies. Blood was everywhere. “Wooyoung...” He muttered, mind hazy.

                “Give him blood,” he said coldly and pointed to the boy on the right. “You did this to him. Now give him your blood.”

                He was confused, why did it have to be his? He was sure he didn’t do this? “Why my blood?”

                The shock of the smack hurt more than the physical blow. He was jerked forwards and the feral amber eyes glowed, “give him your damn blood.”

                Then it hit him. He had done all of this. They were the descendants of the family who had continually helped him throughout the ages. Why...did this happen? Not wasting another minute, he rested his wrist over the boy’s mouth and cut open his skin. Then, the realisation of whom he was giving blood to hit him. Hwang Chansung. The energy shot up around him, cold, unforgiving, and sad. The boy began to writhe in pain, it only last a second, but it seemed like minutes. Then he lay completely still.

                “Changmin, take Nichkhun to the solitary chambers until I’m ready to deal with him.”

                “Sir,” Changmin hoisted him up and pulled him along.

                “Wait!” He cried. This couldn’t be happening. “Wooyoung!” He ignored him, and that felt like millions of daggers, stabbing him in what little soul he retained. He collapsed outside the house and stared at the ground. He didn’t do this intentionally, Wooyoung had to know that! “Changmin!” He sobbed and looked up at him. “I didn’t intend to do this! I swear!” They were all gone, the only family that he cared for. And, he'd almost taken the life of the one he cared for almost more than Wooyoung.

                “Shh, calm down.” Changmin placed him in the carriage and sat beside him. “Wooyoung said your presence had vanished. We went searching for you but couldn’t find you.” Changmin informed. “It took forever to break through whatever aura was around you. By the time we got to you it was too late...”

                “If he knows that then why is he treating me this way?” He sobbed. The one that freed him was disappointed in him, angry, and upset. And, the one that showed him he could love, and share that freedom with was nearly taken away by his own hands. Why was this happening to him?

                Changmin covered his mouth and looked around. “We’re in a Council of Elder’s presence, Nichkhun. Keep your mouth shut, be calm.”

                Nichkhun was forced to look to his right to see an elder right beside him.

                *            

                *So, they all figured something was amiss. These memories appear incomplete. I'm surprised you can still fight me.*

                Get out of my head!

                *No, I need to see it up until Wooyoung speaks with you.*

                He was betraying him all over again, a weakness for Wooyoung.

                *

                They had finally made it to the manor. Nichkhun was taken by Changmin to the solitary chambers. He looked upon them with absolute dread. He had never been in them before, he never wanted to be. He would take being beaten, tortured, or exiled over being confined. Changmin pushed him in and sealed the door. He collapsed to the floor and cried. He didn’t understand why this had to happen to him. He was supposed to be free, so why? Their faces came to him as he stole their life away. The fear, the confusion, the realisation that he was going to kill them. Lady Hwang's face and words impacted him most of all. She knew something had been wrong with him and he needed to know what it was. It felt like he had been in there for hours when the door snapped open. A hand gripped his shirt and pulled him up.

                Wooyoung’s gaze was focused entirely on his. “Do not be weak, Nichkhun!”

                “You...put me in here...the worst possible place-

                “Exactly, to know the gravity of what you have done!” Wooyoung’s griped tightened. “You killed the whole Hwang family!”

                Nichkhun lowered his head and sorrow once more berated against his entire body and mind. “I know!” He screamed. “I had to watch - like I couldn’t control myself, draining their blood, breaking their bodies.” Raising his still blood covered hands he sobbed, “I couldn’t stop no matter what I did. I protected them for so long!” Nichkhun sunk his nails into Wooyoung’s arm. “I loved them, Wooyoung! Why would I harm them after protecting them for so long?!”

                “Wooyoung, he has been injected with the berserk serum.”

                It was the elder from before.

                “You and I both know who would be insane enough to use it and expect it to work.”

                Wooyoung’s grip loosened. “I was wondering why it felt familiar.”

                “Because...he used it on you, don’t you remember?You and I both know the origins of its creation.”

                Wooyoung shut his eyes tight. He set him down and hugged him close. “I’m sorry, my First.”

                “He must still be punished. I will see it is a lenient sentence, however, the Hwang family is all but lost now.” The elder said.

                “Thank you, Harowen.”

                “Take care of his mind. You know what the serum does...”

                Wooyoung faced him and cupped his face. His eyes were brown again.

                “W-Wooyoung...” He hiccupped. Wooyoung stole a quick, yes caring kiss and brought him closer. “What is it? What is the berserk serum?”

                His master scowled darkly and held him close. “Something you should have never had to experience.”

                “Please, I don’t want to be in here.” The darkness evoked the flashbacks of his past and now he could see their faces within it. He was going to be haunted by this.

                Wooyoung shook his head. “I will stay with you.” Nichkhun gripped his cloak and tried to tell him no. Wooyoung kissed him softly and hugged him close. "I told you every choice would have it's price. This one is my fault."

                "No...Wooyoung..." His master shook his head.

                “Yes, we’ll pass this fear together. I will not leave you.”

                *

                *Che, that blasted Harowen. I’m surprised Wooyoung didn’t immediately recognise it. After all, the Berserk Serum was made with his blood as the base.*

                What?

                *Didn’t that animal ever tell you about his past? I suppose not. He wanted you to stay with him. We all know a monster can never be loved.*

                What would you know? No matter what you say I will stand beside him.

                She laughed coldly. *We’ll see how long that lasts.*

                A different memory invaded his mind. He saw a fire, and a figure seated before it. Looking around he saw people dancing. He turned back, the aura of the person familiar. Then he turned and looked around. He gasped in surprise. It was Wooyoung! He looked so young! Er, well younger anyway. He seemed to be observing the festivities alone. He got to his feet, almost clumsily. It was kind of cute to see. Nichkhun turned in the direction he was looking to find a man with hair as dark as night, tanned skin, and robes of royal blue. Nichkhun watched Wooyoung walk through him and towards the man. He nearly gasped in surprise when gold irises them. He felt like the man was staring into his soul. “Oh, a little darkling come to entertain me?” He teased.

                “Do not tease me, Zahi.” Wooyoung grumbled. The man laughed, it was deep and calming. Wooyoung crawled over to him and sat beside him. “Why do you not join the others?”

                “Well, ‘tis forbidden.”

                Wooyoung, surprisingly, pouted. “Well, that is not fair...say, Zahi, would you play with me?” Nichkhun felt a rush of heat as Wooyoung leaned into him. This was the past, before they had known him.

                “You know I cannot.”

                “But master is preoccupied, and I would ever so much like to disobey him.”

                Nichkhun looked around. Wooyoung’s master was nearby.

                Zahi’s bark of entertained laughter brought his attention back to them. His hand fell upon Wooyoung and smoothed over his hair. “you, my coy little darkling, couldn’t satisfy me even if you wanted to.”

                Nichkhun couldn’t stifle his laughter. He could never fathom ever saying that to Wooyoung.

                Wooyoung stood abruptly. “How can you say that when you haven’t given me a chance?!” He demanded cutely.

                Zahi had reached up to the string of multicoloured beads around his neck. “You best leave me while your bastard master doesn’t notice.”

                “I refuse.” Wooyoung mumbled and rested his hand against his chest. He looked calm, safe. “Besides, he would just use me for whatever he wanted anyway. I’m sure whatever you wish to do to me, would be much better than what he would do.”

                For some reason those cryptic words sent a chill down Nichkhun’s spine. Wooyoung spoke so casually about it, but he knew it was volatile whatever Wooyoung’s master did to him. “Oh, does my little darkling dislike his master’s methods?” Wooyoung didn’t reply. He instead made to roll away from the man but Zahi caught him and held him tight.

                “Let me go!”

                “Do you truly dislike him that much?”

                Wooyoung stopped struggling and looked up. Nichkhun did as well and found the sky to be littered with stars. “I do...and I hate you and Wren for letting him keep me.” His voice shook, no matter how much he tried to hide it. “I want you to save me...”

                Those words went straight to Nichkhun’s core. He had said words of similar nature, words that were so forbidden even the thought caused him stress. Hearing them from Wooyoung gave him an even greater understanding and appreciation for those early days they spoke together. Wooyoung had wanted him free...because he knew what it meant to be chained.

                Zahi had held Wooyoung even tighter. “Come tomorrow things will be different, Wooyoung.”

                “You always say that.” Wooyoung once more tried to break free.

                “This time I promise it will be so. Now, go back to your fire. I know you dislike the cold and the dark.”

                Nichkhun fell to his knees. Wooyoung stayed with him in the confines of his imprisonment whenever he could, in that darkness. He did the same for Taecyeon as well on many occassions. Wooyoung subjected himself to one of his greatest fears, tortured himself to give him an ease of mind. It was unfair! The night proved to be long and Wooyoung tended his little fire diligently. Nichkhun watched him fondly, wishing he could reach out to him. Then he appeared, a regal looking man. His hold on Wooyoung was tight, possessive.

                “Please let me go.” Wooyoung murmured.

                “I saw you with Zahi tonight.”    

                Wooyoung remained silent. This had happened before. Nichkhun could tell by the resignation on Wooyoung’s features.

                “Punishing you is always one of my favourite things.”

                No! Nichkhun tried to call out. Nichkhun saw the false mask of fear on Wooyoung’s face. He didn’t want to see this.

                “I don’t want this – let me go!” Wooyoung screamed. Nichkhun covered his face. The screams were more than enough. He needed to wake, he didn’t want to see this.

                *No...you should watch.*

                “Ah!”

                Nichkhun covered his ears and shut his eyes tight. The screams, the assault, it was too much. Feeling warmth around him, his eyes shot opened.

                “Who was he? Why did he hurt you so badly?” Junho sobbed. He was nearby.

                “That...that was my master...Junho.”

                “Do you always have dreams like that?”

                Nichkhun turned his head slightly. Wooyoung was laying beside him, Junho on the other side. “No...I hardly dream at all. That was a memory, love.”

                He needed to ask. He couldn’t hold it in. “Did he always hurt you like that?” His voice was raw from disuse. He wrapped his arms around Wooyoung’s waist and held him close. He never wanted to see it again.

                “You...you both saw that?”

                “Yes...” Junho’s face was covered with tears. “I don’t want to see that anymore. I don’t want to see you in pain!”

                Nichkhun reciprocated the notion and held onto Wooyoung tighter. He was scared that the images would come flooding back.

                “Shh, I’m alright. That was a long time ago – a really long time ago actually.” Wooyoung said and tried to calm them. He sighed and rolled onto his back. Nichkhun curled into him and basked in his presence. He felt so closed off from him. Like he had been lost in the dark all over again. “Go back to sleep. At least for a few more hours...”

                Nichkhun couldn’t no matter how he tried. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw Chansung, and then Wooyoung being tortured. He was back in the confinement chambers wishing to be free once more. He was berated by the images of the Hwang massacre. He needed to focus on something else. Junho was tracing random designs on Wooyoung’s chest, it made him smile and kiss him warmly. “Why won’t you let use protect you?” Junho asked, voice soft. “Are you scared to lose us that much?”

                Wooyoung had closed his eyes. “There are things about me that will make you leave if you found out.”

                Nichkhun shook his head. That was exactly what that woman had said. No matter what had happened to them, he would not let her win. “I’ve been with you for a long time, how can you accuse me of that?” It physically hurt for Wooyoung to say those things. He winced when he put pressure on his shoulder. “...” Then the chill returned. A weird sensation overcame his body.

                *I know what I have to do.* She sang.

                Wooyoung had slowly edged himself up from between them and returned with clean water, a salve, and bandages. Junho was already in the process of removing his bandages.

                *It’s time for you to say goodbye to Chansung.*

                He felt it again, the cold. His heart was beginning to pulse. He pressed his hand to his chest and shut his eyes tight. “Did you and Chansung talk, Nichkhun?”

                Nichkhun snagged Junho’s hand, as he tried to stable himself. He tried to tell them something was wrong but he couldn’t. Her words came out, through his voice. “What does it matter anymore?” His body fell back. Wooyoung scanned the whole room, seemingly aware that something was wrong, he just didn’t know what. He motioned for him to come forward but he couldn’t. “I’ve...I’ve tried everything. I don’t know what I did wrong, Wooyoung!”

                Wooyoung set down the bandages and salve, and then sat beside him. “It’s my fault.”

                No!

                *Yes.*

                “No it isn’t!” He managed to shout. He heard the woman hiss. But her mind reigned stronger over his once more. “You didn’t attack him or kill his brother!”

                Wooyoung caught his chin and leaned down. Their foreheads came together, Nichkhun wanted to reach up. “If you don’t have will, this wound will never heal, Nichkhun.”

                Did he have any left? He couldn’t even fend off the enemy right now. He cursed his weakness. This was not fair. He choked on a sob, “I don’t have any left...” He said weakly. He was too tired. He couldn’t stop her. He was going to lose a part of him all because he hadn't focused on becoming stronger enough.

                “Nichkhun...” Junho murmured.

                Wooyoung clenched his teeth. “He’s realising it faster now.” Nichkhun wanted to nod, to agree. “I could see it, Nichkhun. I promise. It won’t be much longer.”

                “You weren’t here...he’s not the same, Wooyoung.”

                Curse you!

                “He said there might be a chance but I just can’t. Not after what I saw. I’m tired of it just being me in that lonely house...”

                Wooyoung pulled him up into his arms and held him close. He pressed kisses down his cheek and said, “then stay with me, here. Stay by my side.”

                “He’s by your side...and I could never force you to choose.”

                “You are my beautiful prince.” He revelled in those soft words. “I want you to stay patient only for a little longer. That is all I ask, please?” Wooyoung looked more confused than concerned. He was sure now that Wooyoung knew something was wrong.

                Nichkhun gasped as a wave of pain coursed through his body.  Tears flew down his face. Then, it happened. “Can you take them away?”

                Wooyoung shut his eyes tight. “Take what away.”

                Nichkhun felt the cold increasing. “My memories of Chansung, all of them...”

                She was laughing, practically dancing with joy.

                “No Nichkhun-

                “Please. I don’t want to hurt anymore...”

                “You won’t remember anything about him at all, Nichkhun.”

                “Then he can forget all about me.” He died when those words flew past his lips.

                Wooyoung shook his head adamantly, “please, just wait.”

                “I’m begging you not to torture me anymore, Wooyoung! Please!”

                He tried to lift his hand, he tried to clutch Wooyoung’s shirt. He tried to hold him back but he slipped away and went to his desk. He took out an amethyst stone. Wooyoung sniffed at the air and glared for a second.

                “Will he forget all of us?” Junho asked.

                “You know he won’t.” Wooyoung said vacantly.

                “I could never forget our precious Junho.” Nichkhun said brokenly. He was losing him again.

                Junho lowered his head.

                Wooyoung sat before him and asked, “are you sure?”

                “After...Min-Jun left...I knew I was either going to die or this...and I could never hurt you.” Nichkhun murmured quietly. He was so tired now.

                “Junho?”

                “Y-Yes?” The mage sniffled.

                “Stand back a tad, okay?”

                Junho nodded.

                Wooyoung lifted his hand to his mouth and pressed his thumb to his tooth. His blood ran down his hand. He drew a symbol on Nichkhun’s forehead. “Focus on what you want to forget, and hold onto those memories and thoughts you wish to keep.”

                Nichkhun nodded.

                Wooyoung closed his eyes and went into a trance. When he opened them, Nichkhun stared up and held his gaze. ‘Please...stop, Wooyoung.’

                “I love you.”

                Nichkhun gripped his hand tightly and nodded. The amethyst stone was pressed to his forehead and he spoke clearly, “Oh you, poor soul, tormented by those thoughts which hinder your will, what do you wish to give me?”

                Nichkhun closed his eyes. He couldn’t say it, he fought hard against her magic. In the end, and with confident voice, he was forced to say, “my memories of Hwang Chansung.” The world went dark. ‘And the evil inside my body.’

                *No! You little bastard!*

                Ribbons flew out of him and swirled around the room. Junho watched in awe. The power overtook him and he surrendered to his exhaustion. It was too much.