COINCIDENCE

August 14^th, 2013.

It was the day when B.A.P did their Show Champion backstage interview [x], and it was also the very fateful day that has had Yongguk coming back to their dorm with a smile never leaving his flawless face.  Something happened during the interview… something that made his heart fluttered to the point where butterflies happily occupied his empty stomach. And he wondered whether it was all just a coincidence.

Daehyun was appointed as the B.A.P news’ anchor for the interview, in which the members found it hard to take the main vocal seriously and so, they intentionally attacked him with their endless teasing and jokes. Maknae Junhong even imitated him with his supposedly anchor-ish pose at the beginning and followed by Youngjae’s blatant remarks on how they had changed to a 5-member group. Daehyun was left defeated for a brief moment when he persistently proceeded with the first piece of news.

It was about how Yongguk had revealed his abs in their previous encore concert in Seoul. Yongguk just smiled and nodded shyly when Himchan— seated beside him, as always— was the one who had uttered his “Ye, ye, ye”, confirming the fact in Daehyun’s statement. Yongguk wondered whether it was all just a coincidence, the fact that Himchan always response on his behalf instead.

The question was simple.

Who will reveal the abs this time?

Himchan, being the quick-witted member of the group, naturally took charge in answering the question with Youngjae supporting him with his own answers. Yongguk, Jongup and Junhong, on the other hands, were completely lost in their own minds. They threw in appropriate laughter here and there, clapped when the others were clapping, but none of them really felt like talking and joining in the conversation.  But then again, it wasn’t as if it was unusual for them to be like that, anyway.

It never failed to amaze Yongguk though, how easy they made it look… especially Himchan. He was always the one who had controls over the interviews, answering questions almost effortlessly as if he had done them a million times before and still, not forgetting to throw in a few of his quirky jokes, enough to send everyone—including the PDs and staffs— bursting in loud laughter. There was something, like a pleasing aura, about Himchan. It was as if Himchan is some kind of a movie that everyone can enjoy to it dearly… a movie that Yongguk will never get tired of.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that Yongguk somehow was brought back to Earth when Himchan unconsciously leaned in dangerously close to his right, asking Daehyun, “What’s the next question?” to which Yongguk mentally cursed himself for blushing for whatever reasons he could not quite figure. He did not dare to look at Himchan. Instead, he leaned back a little, afraid that if he got too close to Himchan, the younger one would take his breath away… literally. And Yongguk wondered whether it was all just a coincidence, the fact that Himchan always leaned on him a little too close for anyone’s comfort… but him.

Himchan smelled nice. Really nice, Yongguk acknowledged it on his mind… so many times that he did not even realized Daehyun had moved on to the next question, which made Himchan the subject of the interview. He shifted nervously on his seat, unintentionally making contacts with the man sitting to his right.

Daehyun pointed out the fact that Himchan was able to participate in Korean promotions this time and wanted the latter to say something to the fans.  Not that he will ever admit it but as soon as Himchan started talking, Yongguk found himself nodding to every bit of it, rather happily, if you must say. It was as if he had no control over his own body because he just kept nodding and at the same time, trying so hard not to smile like an idiot. Just listening to Himchan talking made him feel like he was on a rollercoaster, and he wondered again, if it was all just a coincidence… the fact that Himchan managed to make him feel that way.

“On SNS, you said ‘again’ is the scariest word. What did you mean by that?” Daehyun asked out of curiosity, a question directed to the visual.

Himchan instantly knew what Daehyun was talking about. Yongguk, too. That was when the whole ‘Producer Bang Yongguk’ thing started. Out of nowhere, they acted out how it was like in the studio, recording with Yongguk as the producer.

“Now, do it again,” Yongguk began.

“Ah, okay,” Youngjae replied.

“This is what you normally respond,” he continued.

Yongguk knew exactly what Himchan would do now, so he began yet again, waiting for Himchan to respond this time.

“Again,” he started off.

“… eung.”

(cr. k i t t y i n a b a r r e l )

Yongguk would never understand, how a simple word like that can make him grinned like an actual idiot. It was as if he was happy to hear anything out of Himchan’s mouth that a simple ‘eung’ from the younger one could light up his entire world. How cliché does that sounds? Yongguk couldn’t tell. Instead, he wondered if it was all just a coincidence.

A series of ‘again’ and ‘eung’ between Yongguk and Himchan ended up in laughter between the members, and as soon as it stopped, Daehyun asked yet another question.

“What are the members’ thoughts on Producer Bang Yongguk?”

At this point, Yongguk was already somewhat blushing. Not sure whether he was nervous to find out what s thought about him or he was just nervous as to what Himchan would say about him. It was always like this. It was always going to be about Himchan, and then the rest of the members. Yongguk wondered why, though.

It was Youngjae who had answered the question first. Being the wise dongsaeng he was, Youngjae explained rather formally, almost carefully but still 100% in honesty about his thoughts on Yongguk being the producer. The leader held his head down the entire time. He felt somewhat thankful, hearing those kind words from his dongsaeng to which he thought were too kind to be directed towards him.

And then there was Himchan.

What he said about Producer Bang Yongguk sent the beholder of the name farther away from where he was, almost out of this world if that was even possible.

“Producer Bang Yongguk… I love you.”

(cr. strongbabes)

It might have not shown on his face, but Yongguk was far more than happy and content when he heard that. He was already at the edge of turning into sands and be whisked away in a sandstorm somewhere in a desert, happily dancing in that form for eternity. He was that obsessed when it comes to Himchan, and again, it wasn’t as if he will ever admit it.

But no, Yongguk was still sitting beside Himchan, allowing himself to hear yet another “heartfelt” confession, as pointed out by Jung Daehyun.

“I love you,” Himchan repeated and laughed it off awkwardly, hoping none of the members but one would take it seriously.

(cr. strongbabes)

The rest of the interview did not matter to him anymore, as Yongguk kept his head low and secretly trying so hard not to let his lips curled up in a smile. But his face's muscles were stronger. The smile stayed there for the rest of the day, without his consent, of course. The other members—well, not Himchan anyway—wondered why the sudden beam on the leader’s face and that made Daehyun suddenly choked when they were all already in the van.

“A-ha, someone’s a happy bastard!”

*

August 16^th, 2013.

They had an interview with TheStar [x][x] on this very day. It was one of the few interviews where Yongguk was not seated beside Himchan, in which it made him feel somewhat empty. But then again, he was not sure whether he could stand the excessive pounding of his heart if Himchan were to be seated beside him yet again. Maybe this was much better. Maybe this was for the better.

Despite that, Yongguk wondered if it was all just a coincidence… the fact that Himchan took a seat exactly opposite him. That could only mean one thing; he could see Himchan directly from his seat and that can’t be good…. Not good for his heart, anyway. Seeing the blonde’s puffy cheeks and his luscious lips straight in front of him would definitely be bad for Yongguk. And worse, the stolen glances they accidentally gave each other once in a while made Yongguk’s heart skipped a beat, if not more. The way Himchan’s eyes landed on him made Yongguk uneasy, in the most appropriate yet unexplainable kind of way. But Yongguk loved it. He loved the attention that Himchan was giving him and he knew the latter felt the same way, too.

When the group interview had ended, Yongguk and Himchan were called to shoot for their partner interview [x]. Yongguk felt nervous more than ever but remained calm nonetheless, as Himchan plopped down beside him with a smile plastered on his face.

“You’re ready, Bbang?” Himchan asked, putting a hand atop Yongguk’s lap as if wanting to get his attention for a while. He felt the leader tensed up upon his touches almost immediately and so, Himchan quickly retrieved back his hand and fought a blush. Yongguk just smiled one of his gummy smiles and ushered a “Yeah” out of his mouth, not wanting to create somewhat an awkward atmosphere around them.

For this interview, they were given a chance to ask questions that they were curious about of each other. At least, the ones that could be aired in broadcast, anyway. Not that it was even possible for Yongguk to ask whether Himchan has had feelings for him or not or some sort. He wouldn’t dare if it was possible, anyway.

Yongguk’s questions were somewhat decent—playing safe, so to say. When Himchan reached for the microphone in Yongguk’s grip to answer his questions, their hands made contact with each other and Yongguk swore he felt the electricity jolted down his spine. He stole a glance towards Himchan and saw the other blushed slightly to it, as well. It made him wonder for the Nth time, whether it was all just a coincidence… the fact that Himchan felt the need to exchange microphones whenever he wanted to answer a question. Because to be honest, when Yongguk watched the other members’ partner interviews later on, none of them did that.

(cr. nuouo)

And then it was Himchan’s turn to ask Yongguk some questions. It turns out he was curious as to why Yongguk smelled like ramen… and Yongguk could not help it but to think Himchan must have smelled him a LOT of time before, considering they were always paired together in almost everything. He felt somewhat embarrassed since ramen was not exactly the smell he wanted people to remember him for. It made him happy, though, when Himchan leaned in as if smelling him, confirming the truth behind his statement and much happier when Himchan did it twice.

(cr. nuouo)

Throughout their partner interview, Yongguk kept stealing glances towards the latter beside him. And then somehow, his gaze would unconsciously fall from his eyes to his lips. He knew it was dangerous of him to do so in broadcast, but it was not as if he could control it. It was most definitely out of his control and there weren't much that he could do about it anyway. 

(cr. yongguksfingers)

Yongguk also noticed that Himchan had been coughing during the interview. And so, just as soon as their partner interview had ended—vocal-line was up next—Yongguk went up to Himchan and rested a hand on his back, receiving his full attention.

“You okay, Channie?”

Looking up so suddenly, Himchan was taken aback over how close their faces were from each other now. They were so close to the point that the air exhaled from Himchan would then be directly inhaled by Yongguk, instead of dispersing into thin air.

“What are you talking about, Bbang?” Himchan finally asked, confused.

“You’ve been coughing just now. I was just wondering if you’re okay,” Yongguk explained, brows furrowed in worries. He led Himchan to take a seat, hands still secured on the other’s back.

When they finally reached the couch, Himchan let a smile crept on his face as he elbowed Yongguk playfully, “Yah, it was just a cough—”

“—you coughed twice, actually.”

Yongguk wondered if it was all just a coincidence, the fact that he becomes very particular when it comes to Himchan, more than anyone else.

*

It had been a while since Yongguk last had a good sleep.

It was almost 3 a.m. and Yongguk still could not get some sleep, just like the previous nights. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't. He shifted to his right, shutting his eyes completely, hoping to be dozed off in a deep sleep but to no avail. His brain was still working on a full speed, thinking about that damn same thing. He shifted to his left, letting his eyes fluttered opened, burning holes on the man sleeping on the bed beside his.  Sleeping was out of the question now. The slender figure before his eyes triggered his brain even more than ever. Yongguk rested his head comfortably on his hand, still facing towards his left so that the view of the younger one would never leave his sight.

And then he wondered if it was all just a coincidence, the fact that the bed beside his own was claimed by none other than Himchan. 

The sudden kick from below the blanket that was covering neatly on Himchan's body startled Yongguk so much that he almost jumped out of his bed. Yongguk's eyes grew wider as he blinked repeatedly, trying to make sure he was not imagining things considering how he was still up at this ungodly hour. He straightened up in a sitting posture and folded his legs on the bed. As he leaned closer to take a good look at Himchan, Yongguk noticed the cold sweats on the other's temple and at the side of his fine jawline and almost immediately, Yongguk plopped down at the side of Himchan's bed. He was kneeling right before Himchan now, and that was when he saw the younger one was actually shaking horribly. 

Something's not right, he thought.

Yongguk watched as Himchan's whole body began shaking frantically all over again and he immediately sneaked his hand underneath the blanket to find Himchan's cold one and when he did, Yongguk squeezed it tightly, an attempt to give some assurance towards Himchan. That was when he heard his name slipped through the blonde's mouth.

"Yongguk-ah... Bbang... Bbang!" 

Yongguk panicked. Did Himchan somehow had a nightmare with him being dead or possibly be chased by some hellhounds? Is that why he was screaming his name?

Yongguk watched again as Himchan kicked his blanket repeatedly and that was when Yongguk finally put his hands on the other's shoulders. 

"Channie... Channie!" he whispered loud enough for only Himchan to hear, afraid that he would wake the other members up if he were to shout loudly.

To his luck, Himchan still seemed to be lost in his own nightmare.

"KIM HIMCHAN!" he whispered a little louder than before, and this time, Himchan finally opened his eyes widely.

If he did not see it clearly, Yongguk would have missed the tears streaking down Himchan's pale face. Yongguk gulped. He was about to say something when Himchan immediately shot up and flung himself into Yongguk's arms. The leader froze for a moment but he returned the hug almost immediately, wrapping his strong hands around Himchan's slender body.

"Bbang!" Himchan sobbed the name, as he nuzzled closer to Yongguk's neck.

It really wasn't the most appropriate time to feel this way but Yongguk could not help but to feel somewhat... happy. 

"Shushhh... it was just a nightmare, Channie. But did I die in it?" Yongguk said, jokingly. He was trying to comfort the visual who seemed to be still in shocked.

Hearing that, Himchan looked up a little, puzzled by Yongguk's question. The tear-stained face of his made Yongguk his lips out of nowhere.

"You weren't even in it, Bbang," Himchan said, his voice hoarsed from the effect of crying.

Yongguk was completely confused... and curious. He stayed silent for almost a full minute before asking yet another question.

"Then why did you scream my name?"

There was no reply.

Yongguk sighed in frustration.... when suddenly it hits him.

Even though Himchan did not say it, Yongguk knew. He finally knew.

It was never just a coincidence all along. It was something more than that... something only they know what it is.

THE END.

[A/N] I know there aren't many Banghim feels in this and it ended almost abruptly and I'm sorry for that BUT it was fun writing how Yongguk feels :3 It's like when you swim in his heart and you find all these bits that connected back to Himchan o-----kay I'm not making any sense now XD as always, comments are my oxygen so please keep me alive! :D Till next time! - Mao.