“There's a hell of a lot of freedom in this rock and roll circus... it's where all the freaks go - it's the environment for me.”

Brian Molko

“Ehm… I’m sorry but I can’t.” I muttered. And though people would find it a strange decision if they knew my life story. I knew that there was still a little bit of light in my world. Even though my parents, the neighbours, my classmates and many other people disliked me, there still was one person who had been nice to me. Daehyun. And I wanted to keep a hold on that. I could survive any situation if there was just one person who was nice to me.

I quickly turned around and was gone so quickly that the ringmaster didn’t have any time to say something back to me.

I pushed through the crowd. Running away from the strange event by the music barrel when I heard a sudden roar. I looked to my left side and saw a crowd standing in front of a large cage which could be placed behind a truck like a container.

I walked a bit closer, curious by the loud sound and stood on my toes to see what was inside the cage. I saw at least nine felines in the cage. One big lion laid in the middle of the cage, his orange hair gleamed in the lights that lighted up the paths on the circus ground. Next to him laid a smaller lioness. Her head was close to the big lion and she was resting, she seemed tired. The other felines, which included tigers, panthers and cheetahs were restlessly walking through the cage.

I felt bad for the felines, they had so little space and were with so many that they must’ve had the feeling of ripping each other’s throats off because the others were coming too close. And people seemed to love that feeling of danger that the felines emitted. If one of the felines made a big lunge towards them, they all back out before coming closer again while laughing. 

Not being able to take the feeling of danger anymore, I walked further on the circus grounds. A bit further away I saw a huge crowd standing in front of a tank filled with water. They all whispered to each other in awe and a bit in disgust but I couldn’t see about what they were talking.

So instead I focused my attention to the water tank next to the one with the huge crowd. There weren’t many people in front of that tank, actually there were only two including me.

“It’s a bit sad, isn’t it?” I looked at my right to look at the person next to me. His black hair seemed to be floating mysteriously in the wind and his clothes didn’t make that assumption any different as he wore a dark cloak, the other clothes were hidden from sight.

“What… is?” I was getting a bit uncomfortable, this was the first time in years that so many different people that I didn’t know had talked to me.

“These seals.” The stranger made a little nod towards the tank and on his ‘instruction’, I took a good look at the seals. They had a grey colour as pelt which didn’t seem so appealing to me but as I looked better it seemed that the pelt was literally shining because of the water. At first, their lump-like kind of bodies seemed to make them ugly but as they moved through the water it seemed so elegant, so graceful that I was mesmerized by it.

“They’re beautiful.” I sighed and smiled softly.

“Indeed they are but no one cares for their beauty, they only want to see flashy stuff, like the cage beside this one and the lions cage.” The stranger clarified. “No one in this whole crowd understands the meaning of looking better except you. Use it well, if you do, maybe you won’t make the same mistake as I did.”

I looked at the man and back at the seals. Look better? Look better to what?

“Ehm, Mr,-” But the stranger was already gone and I was the only one who was looking at the seals. One of the seals stopped with swimming and stopped right in front of me. For one reason or another, it seemed like the seal wanted to tell me something but I didn’t know what.

His black eyes stared into mine. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable so I wanted to walk away when I felt something on my foot. I looked down. A little fuzzy-like ball with an saffron colour.

I crouched down and let my fingertips brush the ball slightly. It was soft and it felt very fluffy. I carefully wrapped my hands around the ball and lifted it up.

I almost let it fall on the ground when it began to move but I managed to control my nerves and brought the little moving ball up to my face. And to my surprise, I saw that it was a rabbit. It scrunched his nose cutely when he saw me as if he smelled something on me.

“Hi, little bunny.” I cooed. It was like the rabbit said hi back by kicking with his hind leg. I smiled and put the rabbit on my arm so it could sit more comfortable. I brushed his soft fur while wondering how this rabbit came