“The way to get started is to quit talking and start doing.”

Walt Disney

I think that it’s more than normal that someone begins to think about their past if that’s the key to their future. So after I was alerted about my past by Heechul, I immediately began to think about it.

As I walked out of Heechul’s cabin, after he had reminded me to lay low and not to attract anyone’s attention, I was deep down in thought.

I think that my childhood was like any other, I remember that I had actually quite some playmates in kindergarten. I don’t remember ever being alone back then. But around my eighth or ninth birthday, thinks get fuzzy for a while. After that everyone hated me.

Yet, I don’t exactly remember what happened in that fuzzy time. The secret had to lie in that fuzzy time but what it was…? Well, I drew a blank there.

I strolled on the circus grounds for a while. Not really knowing who I should visit and what I should do. I couldn’t go to Hyukjae because he was working. I couldn’t visit Kyuhyun because he had his show around this time.

Jessica! I suddenly remembered, I could visit Jessica. I smiled and ran to the merfolk tank. I managed to avoid most of the crowd and found a short-cut to our tank. Surprisingly, there weren’t many people in front of the tank so I managed to squeeze myself through the crowd and I knocked on the glass to get her attention.

“Hey, kid! You shouldn’t do that! You’re going to chase the fish away if you do that!” A rather large man grabbed my shoulder and forced my body to turn towards him.

I felt the hostility that came of the entire crowd  that was only pointed towards me even though there had been more children that had been knocking on the glass.

I felt like I couldn’t speak. It was as if my tongue had been numbed and anxiously, I stared at the male.  

“Talk to me, you tramp!” He hissed.

I felt my face heat up and I was as stiff as a board. The man’s outburst was attracting a lot of attention that I didn’t want to have. I would’ve rather had that the ground swallowed me up.

Behind me, I heard splashes of water that were damped by the glass. Jessica could see and hear everything.

I mustered up all of my courage: “I…I’m- s-sorry.” I stuttered. I was so proud of myself that I managed to say something back, even if it was something as small as an apology.

“Sorry’s are not going to cut it,” the man growled, “You’ve ruined everyone’s experience!”

“Well, isn’t that going slightly overboard?” A new, accented voice asked.

The whole crowd turned as one man and I saw a tall man with white hair standing behind me, so close that he could’ve placed both of his hands on my shoulders. He seemed slightly familiar.

“I’m sure that he only meant to greet her?” It was almost a rhetorical question but I nodded anyway. The angry mob quieted down slightly and with frowns on their faces, they went their own ways.

I stayed behind with the man with the white hair.

“Well, it seemed that we’ve avoided a fight.” He smiled lightly.

“Yes.” I nodded. I was still anxious and slightly suspicious of the man. I didn’t quite trust people from outside the circus anymore. All the people from outside the circus seemed to hate me while inside the circus, only Changmin had tried to kill me, the others seemed fairly nice to me.

The man held his hand out: “My name is Hangeng. What’s yours?”

“Donghae…” I softly whispered and I shook his hand.

“East sea?” He asked me and I looked down at my feet: “Yes.”

“That’s a really nice name.” Hangeng smiled kindly.

I blushed despite my attempts not to show how pleased I was that he said that. Hangeng seemed genuinely nice but I still couldn’t be sure so I tried to keep my distance.

We were silent for a couple of seconds until I heard some damped thumps. I looked to the side and saw that Jessica was swimming rather closely to us, she almost pressed her face against the glass.

I made a little jump and shrieked: “Jessica!”

Hangeng also turned to the tank. He seemed s