Chanyeol himself admits that he is an idiotic coward who cannot face Byun Baekhyun and accepts the fact that he is in love with the younger. I’m stupid, I’m such a fool. Those are the words he keeps repeating to himself whenever Baekhyun comes across his mind, which happens quite frequent actually.

Chanyeol wants everything to return back to normal. He wants to have another movie night with Baekhyun, two boxes of large sized pizza on his bed and cuddling together when the night got really cold. Chanyeol wants to hold Baekhyun’s hand, secretly taking pictures (despite knowing that it was illegal) of him when the smaller was sleeping and also covering the curling petite male at night with his favorite purple furry blanket.

But in reality, it was him who pushed Baekhyun away. Chanyeol decided to shake the truth off and took no responsibility of the younger’s feeling. He didn’t mean to hurt Baekhyun, but he was not planning to get hurt either so the idea of avoiding him seemed to be the best solution he could come up with at that moment.

Chanyeol ruffles his hair out of frustration, groaning loudly in the middle of the day. He takes a week off, or more like getting sent home by his boss because he has been slacking off. He glances over his phone from time to time, waiting for a text message from a certain someone. Baekhyun has stopped sending him messages ever since that incident.

it.

Chanyeol grabs his phone and dials the number he remembers by heart. He bites his lower lips, he is nervous. Will he pick it up? Or will he ignore him just like how he did to the shorter male? Just as Chanyeol thought, Baekhyun doesn’t answer the call. He tries calling him a few more times but Baekhyun didn’t give him a chance to talk. It was his fault, he knows. He had been a jerk to reject Baekhyun’s presence only because his heart couldn’t stop beating so fast whenever he saw Baekhyun.  Byun Baekhyun is certainly a delicate beauty. The beauty Chanyeol has broken off.

Kyungsoo is such a sensitive friend. It took him no time to notice the way the two looked at each other the first time they had an interview. After pushing Chanyeol to spill the bean, he was told that Chanyeol and Baekhyun had something going on for a quite long time. And Kyungsoo cannot deny that his friend was the biggest idiot he knew.

“I’m not gay, Kyungsoo…”

“It’s not about your uality, Chanyeol. If you like him, then you do. Gosh, I thought you were more open-minded than the others. I was wrong then?”

“But, what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“You are a dumb then.”

Chanyeol was shocked at first because Kyungsoo is not the type to use profanities but he might understand that he is indeed dumb. Whenever he recalls the times they spent together, Chanyeol is pretty confident that Baekhyun has feelings for him too.

Okay, here I go.

Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun and the other two will have a photo shoot today. He is no stalker but Sehun and Luhan kind of has a thing, it is complicated but Chanyeol doesn’t have the time to mind other people’s business. Getting information from Sehun about the younger is all he needs.

Chanyeol is sitting on one the single chair in the lobby, looking around to find a certain male he has been missing a lot. But Baekhyun is nowhere to be seen. He has caught a few glimpses of either Sehun or Kai passing by but he hasn’t seen Baekhyun at all. He thinks maybe Sehun fools him because he had hurt his friend. It’s not like he can take the blame to Sehun.

Chanyeol heaves a sigh, getting up. Maybe not now, but I will come back.

Kai and Sehun see Chanyeol leaving the lobby. Sehun frowns and Kai raises his brow.

“Isn’t he supposed to meet Baekhyun?” Jongin questions.

Sehun shrugs. “Yeah, he has been there for two hours. Maybe he hasn’t seen Baekhyun.”

Jongin nods in agreement to his friend’s words. “Shouldn’t we tell him where he is?”

Again, Sehun merely shrugs.

Chanyeol gets into his car dejectedly. There is still no sign of Baekhyun at all. Maybe Sehun indeed lied but he knows he won’t give up on it.

Just as he is about to turn on his car engine, he sees him again. Is it him, or is it not? He notices how thinner Baekhyun has become. His cheeks are not as chubby as before, his once cheerful eyes look tired. The biggest change is his hair. It is as pink as the cotton candy sold in the park. Chanyeol thinks he needs extra oxygen just to admire the beauty.

Chanyeol cannot observe for long. The admiration for his hair is now interrupted by the newcomer. He recognizes him. It is Kris Wu, a Chinese-Canadian model who has become a hot issue for a few months. The model is nearly two meters tall. Not to mention, he is attractive as hell and he is being a bit touchy with Baekhyun.

Chanyeol’s action is a lot quicker than his brain this time. He has no time to think. He doesn’t want to lose Baekhyun twice. If he doesn’t make a move now, Baekhyun will even get further from his grasp.

“Byun Baekhyun!”

It is pretty loud. It even gains the attention of the security guards. The two models are now looking at him. Kris seems to be curious but Baekhyun is shocked. How can he not?

“C-Chanyeol… What are you doing here? A-Another interview?”

Chanyeol knows the younger is pretending to be strong, to act like the last time they met never happened. Chanyeol notice how Baekhyun is fiddling with his finger, showing that he is just as nervous as him. Chanyeol sees how stressful it has been for Baekhyun just by looking into his eyes. He really wants to cup the younger’s cheeks, kissing his forehead and giving him a warm hug. Baekhyun would always say that he liked his body heat.

“No, I want to meet you,” Chanyeol replies.

Baekhyun checks on his phone before looking back up at him. “I don’t have any other photo session for today. I haven’t been told by my manager.”

Chanyeol quickly shakes his head. He is frustrated. Does Baekhyun only see him as a business partner? Chanyeol slowly starts to feel how Baekhyun felt the last time he rejected him.

“No! I want to meet you. It’s personal.”

“Oh,” is all Baekhyun manages to come up with.

Kris, who thinks that it is no good to be standing between them at that moment, decides to speak up. “Baekhyun, I will leave you to talk to your friend. Don’t forget our date tonight!”

Chanyeol widens his eyes at Kris, finding himself being eaten by an uneasy feeling. Is it jealousy? Chanyeol will not want to admit openly.

“But Kris…”

Kris smiles and ruffles Baekhyun’s hair, making it a bit messy. “See you at eight.”

Chanyeol has never thought Baekhyun would agree with him. But here he is, sitting next to him in his car. There is only silence between them. One is lost in thought and one is too afraid to start. The whole ride has been awkward for them. It’s a good thing that they don’t have to be caught in traffic.

Chanyeol stops his car and unbuckles his seatbelt. But Baekhyun shows no sign of moving. Instead, he asks, “Isn’t this your apartment building?”

Chanyeol nods and frowns. “Why?”

Baekhyun gives him a look. “You said you were taking me somewhere.”

Chanyeol shrugs. “This is somewhere.”

“You didn’t say it will be your apartment.”

Chanyeol shrugs again. “Is there a problem?”

Baekhyun sighs and shakes head, finally unbuckling his seatbelt too. He gets out of his car and follows Chanyeol to the elevator.

Another quiet ride they have to take. Chanyeol keeps glancing at Baekhyun. The younger notices but he pretends to not to. It is not that long until the door is opened, Chanyeol walking out first to lead them to his room.

Baekhyun notices that Chanyeol hasn’t changed his pass code by accident. He doesn’t want to get the wrong idea so he again, pretends that he hasn’t seen a thing.

“Sorry, it’s a bit messy.”

Baekhyun takes off his shoes and shakes head. “It has always been.”

Chanyeol only laughs at that. He tells Baekhyun to wait in the living room so he can get him his favorite milk but Baekhyun stops him. He catches Chanyeol by the wrist, making the older turn to him.

“Chanyeol, let’s just get straight to the point. What do you want?”

Chanyeol gulps. He tries his best to smile that it comes out awkwardly. “L-Let’s just sit first.”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “No, Chanyeol. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to repeat my mistake-“

Chanyeol holds Baekhyun’s wrist this time with his free hand. He holds it so tightly, earning a yelp from Baekhyun.

“Please don’t leave me again, Baekhyun. Please.”

Baekhyun stares blankly at him, as if he is some kind of a lame joke. “You were the one who left.”

Chanyeol’s face shows remorse but Baekhyun’s face is stiff.

Chanyeol takes a long time to compose the words he wants to say. He doesn’t want to mess up again. Why is it so hard to say the truth? You just need to say it, Chanyeol!

Baekhyun is getting impatient. He pulls his hands away. “Let’s not meet again-“

“I love you.”

Baekhyun feels like the time has stopped for the both of them.

“What…?”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol mumbles as he takes his right hand back to his hold. “I love you. I have been so in love with you, from the very beginning. But I was such an idiot. I chose to avoid my fate, and took the easy way out. It results to both of us hurting.”

Chanyeol stops for a moment before taking a step closer. “I’m nowhere near perfect. I can’t give you wealth and offer you fame. But I am Park Chanyeol, an idiot who loves you, Byun Baekhyun.”

To: Kris

6:55 p.m.

I’m sorry, I cannot make it tonight, I had an emergency. I will meet you tomorrow!

aw hi! it's been so long haha. is it too rushed? i hope it's not : ( if you find any grammar mistakes, just tell me! (i should have used all past tenses ugh). AND PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT <3 and see you in my next fic!