you are enough
insecurities
The white clouds blended into the blue sky toning it to a pale blue shade. The cumulous clouds that were waltzing in the sky tamed the glare of the sun. The afternoon air was cool and crisp, which was very unusual for such a day in summer. A gentle breeze lulled in the air and there was no trace of the heat that was usually obtrusive. Whether it was jogging, playing ball games, cycling, rollerblading or even just taking a nap, everyone was having a good time in the park.
Oblivious to the unusually good weather, a schoolgirl trudged wearily down the path. Misery was blatantly etched across her features as she held up her result sheets once again, reminding herself of the less-than-satisfactory grades that were printed in black and white. Sadness welled up in her heart and brought an inverted crescent onto her face. A grim cloud hovered above her head and added a tinge of greyish gloom to her cheeks. The presence of sweet loving couples nearby further added to her grief as she recalled the spiteful breakup between her and her boyfriend a few days before.
She, will never be good enough. Stupid, ugly, naïve, unwanted – that described her. No one likes me, she thought, as a pang of pain hit her heart as it echoed relentlessly in her head. A depressive sob choked and tears careened down her cheeks despite that soft voice that urged her to stay positive somewhere deep in the crevices of her heart.
Stopping by the lake that was by the side of the path, she stared into the clear blue of the water in an attempt to calm the storm that was raging in her heart.
“You’re really ugly you know. You think I’d date you just because you liked me? You’re wrong. In fact, I merely used you to get closer to Seyoung. Don’t think too highly of yourself – you’re just a nobody if not for the fact that I had dated you.”
I’m a nobody.
Salty tears stung her tongue when she could no longer hold back her stifling sobs. Grief washed over her in tides as she sank into a squat. She was drowning in a sea of sorrow, her cries for help unheeded as she continued to sink deeper and deeper.
Picking up the pebble that laid silently beside her, she flung it into the waters. PLOP! It disturbed the calm of the blue as ripples spread over the surface. Maybe it was the ripples, maybe it was the action of throwing something, maybe it was the sound of the pebble landing in the water – whatever the reason, throwing that pebble had made her feel better. Just a bit better.
She picked up yet another one and threw it hard. It felt good. She continued to do so, as one by one the stones landed in the water with a mini splash.
“My boyfriend doesn’t love me because I’m ugly.” PLOP!
“Everyone hates me because I’m ugly.” PLOP!
“I didn’t do well because I’m stupid.” PLOP!
"EVERYONE HATES ME," PLOP!
"BECAUSE I'M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" PLOP!
The weight of her imperfections was crushing; it suddenly felt like a thousand-tonne boulder was being dropped upon her weak heart. She lowered her head as her sobs were muffled by the fabric of her skirt.
A light tap on her shoulder made her look up from her crouched position. In front of her stood, a boy. He wasn’t in any sort of a uniform, but judging from his looks, he looked like he was her age, give or take.
“Are you alright?” He asked in a compassionate tone, touching her face lightly with the tip of his fingers to wipe off her tears.
Shocked by his gesture, she pulled back a bit and stood up, as she tugged her skirt lightly to straighten it. “Yes I’m fine.” She replied tersely, biting her lip, in an attempt to keep her voice level.
“Then why are you weeping so bitterly?” He queried with a heartfelt concern, as his eyes caressed her delicately carved facial bones. Her sweeping eyelashes were compelling; her high-bridged nose was exquisitely dainty, and there was a soft colour in her lips, which went well with her pale complexion. To him, she was, simply put, a startlingly attractive girl with her thick dark hair hanging in long graceful curves over her shoulders.
She tried to speak, but her voice was locked within her. His face became a visage of intense sincerity as he said wryly, “Please tell me which monster has bullied this lovely princess? I’ll tear him to pieces, roast his flesh and prepare a feast for her.” A look of veiled amusement crossed her face for a split second and she managed a shaky smile. He continued to humor her with his make-believe till there was a gurgle of laughter coming from her unconsciously.
He raised his earlier question differently and patiently urged her to share. “Okay, chuckling princess, can you tell me now which monster has made your tears blind your eyes and choke your voice?”
She in her breath and answered softly, “No one.” For a shrinking moment she paused and muttered in a self-chiding voice, “It’s not their fault. I’m just not good enough. I’m the monster.”
Suddenly he stalked off, leaving her looking down on the ground, alone. I knew it. No one can even stand being around me – I’m just that detestable, even that friendly boy doesn’t like me.
A lone tear slipped from her eyes again and she was back to her desolate and fragile self. She pulled her heavy feet back onto the path back home, tears streaming down her face once again.
The wretchedness that she was feeling overwhelmed her once again as her mind went wild with the possible punishments that she would receive when she got home. Scolding, lashing, beating, caning – who knows what else Mother might do. The erratic thumping of her heart was driving her into a deeper panic as she continued to let her imagination run wild.
“Hey!” A half-familiar voice called from behind, but she chose to ignore it. That’s not calling for me. No one likes me because I’m not good enough.
A hand gripping her shoulder shook her out of her negative thoughts. “I called you but you didn’t stop!” He pouted in a way that didn’t suit him.
Now someone wants to make friends with me and I just ignored him. Great job, Park Miyoung. You’re really dumb. She let out another sob, as tears seemed to flow endlessly from her eyes.
He flung out his hands expansively at the sight of her tears falling remorselessly down her cheeks and embraced her briefly. “It’s alright. Don’t cry.” He whispered as clapped his hands to her head tenderly like a big mama soothing a little hurt baby girl. After calming her down, he pulled back and took something out of his pocket and handed it to her.
It was a pretty pebble, probably from the lake earlier; on it, written in his best handwriting, ‘You are enough’.
A trace of uneasiness clouded her face once again as she wrinkled her nose and shook her head in utter disbelief. “W-Why are you giving this to me?”
“Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough. You are perfect, just the way you are. Next time, whenever you are feeling down, I hope that if you look at this, you’ll feel better.” He smiled.
“T-Thank you.” She took it carefully from his hand, as her fingers ran over the words that were written.
“Before you go, I have a special request.”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t ever cry alone by the lake okay? You know, girls don’t look very pretty when they cry.” He stated firmly in an assuring manner. "Now, you have a big brother to watch over you, so don't ever think you're alone."
She nodded her head vigorously as she used the back of her hand to wipe away the moisture on her cheeks.
“I’m Zhang Yixing. What’s your name?”
“Park Miyoung.” She answered, her entire face breaking into a most captivating smile.
Hope I used the prompt correctly ><
To be honest, I had no ideas on what to write so I really hope that this interpretation of it would do...
Thanks for reading! ^^
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