The sky was gray, dull and almost emotionless; the only small sign of beauty was the snow that where falling to the ground, and thus painting the streets in an elegant shade of white. I lifted my head and stared at the sky, wondering how everything could turn out like this.

One week had passed since my birthday. During that one week the only thing I’d done was wandering around on the streets of Seoul.

School? I couldn’t take it, not only because I couldn’t seem to focus on anything, but also because I didn’t have the courage to be around Yeon Ji. Not when I knew what I had done to Sung Yeol. I broke his heart.

Nor had I showed up at Woolim entertainment. It was the same reason; I didn’t want to meet any of the Infinite members. Because they where sure going to ask why I weren’t around them, and also if I knew why Sung Yeol was depressed, that of course if he was. I wanted to explain to Sung Yeol, about the relationship I once had with Hoya. Our friendship that meant so much to me, but it was no longer there. Not only had one relationship been destroyed, but two.

And it was my entire fault.

Christmas was approaching fast, though, it felt as if it was summer just a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I should go home. Maybe I should change school, move home to Busan and forget all about Sung Yeol, Hoya and everything that have happened during the past four months.

Sometimes the best is just to forget and live through with life like it never occurred. In this case, maybe it would be the best. Return home so I could finish school and from there start a real life. And maybe love someone else. But there is this small problem.

What do you do when you already have someone you love, someone you doesn’t want to let go, but have to. How can you love another person? When knowing that you can’t truly love him.

I had no clue.

I woke up from my inner thoughts when I felt how I bumped into someone. And that someone hurried to turn around and before I could say anything. My whole body had frozen. I weren’t capable to do anything. My eyes widened and I felt how warm tears were building up inside of me.

His hair was full with small snowy diamonds that where slowly melting and causing his hair to get messy. Childish boy, why don’t you use a beanie? He was staring at me, his carefree and happy personality weren’t showing and I could only feel pain inside my heart.

“I-I’m sorry” I managed to stutter out the only sentence I could think of and I saw how he flinched at my voice. But nothing could change the fact that I was sorry, I truly where. It was never my intention to hurt anyone, especially not someone who doesn’t know a thing of my past.

I saw how he raised his hand and placed it on my left cheek as I closed my eyes, I didn’t know why I did that. Maybe because it felt as if it was a dream and that when I opened my eyes again, he would be gone. But as I opened my eyes, he was there. And he had leaned in closer towards me. His voice was light and painful, yet I could’ve never imagined how much damage he caused me by saying that sentence.

“Too late” he leaned away and with a last brush against my cheek he turned around and left. Was it really too late? Painfully I stared after him.

The snow was falling even more, thus hiding my aching heart. A heart I wanted to rip out and throw away. What was the use of having one, when it only causes pain. I could still remember what my mom said to me after that Hoya left, when I had asked her why he didn’t love me back.

She told me that everyone was born with two hearts, but that we only carried around with one, which didn’t make much sense to me. How could we have two hearts but only own one? Apparently, the other one was placed inside someone else, and that my job was to find that special one, someone who treasured me above anything else and cherished my like the most precious thing ever.

I finally understood it know, because Hoya wasn’t the special one.

It was Sung Yeol.

But how can I ever tell him, when he doesn’t want me.

My life here is over; there was no use in trying any more. This chapter of my life needed to come to an end, before my whole life came to an end. And the only way to do so was to move and live on with life.

But I will never forget, so many memories that I have inside my heart. I can never forget. Not about Hoya nor Sung Yeol, and not to mention Yeon Ji and the rest of the Infinite members that I’ve treasured like brothers.

And even though I would end this chapter, a chapter where I’ve experienced so much in so little amount of time. It was never going to be forgotten.

I took a last glance at the sky as I pulled my beanie down, covering my ears and forehead before I started to walk towards Seoul University. I had decided. I was going to transfer school and move home again.

“I’m sorry” I whispered the sentence out loud, I knew they couldn't hear it. But deep down inside I hoped and wished that they would understand.

~~

Was inspired by the snow that fell today at my place live in Sweden, to be honest I love snow but I hate winter, yeah it doesn't really go together XD no but seriously, I don't like the cold that's why ;P how's the weather where you live?