Miss T didn’t want to get married yet. She didn’t want to because Daddy was sicker now and she’d be gone to Seoul for her whole life, and what if the thing in his brain exploded whiles he was not around? And everybody was laughing at her, saying she was going to marry a guy whom she didn’t know well.

But Daddy wanted her to get married. It was all his idea and he got her the in-laws agreement, and before she knew it she was on a plane with Mummy and then at The K’s residence. It was the middle of summer and she had to go there. And she hated it. Every minute of it. She hated Mr. J, and she even hated him when she’d learnt that her husband-to-be  already got anothergirl. They weren’t even together yet and they talked about love and marriage, and the third wheel. Well, the third wheel was  Miss T, of course. He told Miss J that he would never  approve her and he would make her suffer. She would  care less  about it but she knew she’d to because of his parents. Miss T never crossed the line when it involved the elders. And yes, she was that pathetic.

And, she would have managed it except for Mr. J. He told her he still loved Miss K. They were walking in the grounds of his garden. Lovely gardens with giant oak trees and tons of flowerbeds. It was a nice place, but the situation wasn’t at all. He told her he still loved Miss K. That she was the prettiest girl. That she was funny and made him laugh. Miss T questioned this in her head but she so wanted to believe it too. She let him put her guards down and slapped the reality out of her. Mr. J hurt Miss K on the first day they met each other.

But, she did a simple thing in the end. Mr. J was out, not around. She mustered all her courage and stepped out from the ‘cage’, and flew back to Jeonju. It was so easy she didn’t believe she’d done it until she came across her parents face at home.

Miss T was sorry that her mother was angry. Sorry when she heard how disappointed Daddy was in her. Sorry that she’d caused a huge fuss. But she wasn’t sorry a bit about escaping. Not one bit.

And Daddy was disappointed. She could see it in his eyes. He didn’t say anything about it but she could see it there all the same. He didn’t have to say a thing. A word and the next day, she crept into the living room where Daddy slept now and sat beside the couch, reading a book about butterflies. When he woke up, he stared at her for a minute like he didn’t know who she was. Then, he got of the couch, slowly, like an old person and she said, “Daddy, I hate this marriage,” and he sat on the edge of the couch, so still, and she wanted to take it back. Take the words back.

And then he toppled over and began jerking, a horrible jerking, with his tongue lolling in his mouth and she froze watching him jerk, just stood over him frozen to the spot, and she tried to scream but nothing came out except a tiny croak. He tried to talk but he croaked too and streched his hand up to her, like he wanted her to help him get up off the floor, and still she stood there watching and croaking.

It felt like ages since she’d said the words. Hours and hours ago. And then the jerking stopped as suddenly as it had started and  then she heard her screams, so loud they made her ears buzzed, and then Mummy came in and screamed at Miss T too, why didn’t she call her and what happened, and Miss T ran away. Ran away up to her bedroom.

She never cried. Not once during all the fuss afterwards. The ambulance and neighbours. Mummy was crying all the time. But she never cried, because she knew she’d killed him. She didn’t drop a brick on his head but she might as well have. She killed him with disappointment. With not being good enough. With not being the nicest.

       There was a knock at the door. However, Taeyeon tried to ignore it and turn back to her MacBook’s screen, wiping tears falling  from her eyes. Taeyeon was cold even though the heat from the day was still in the room, lingering. It was night-time and Taeyeon was in her new black dress, the one Seunghyun made her buy it three days ago − was it only three days ago? That time, before Taeyeon’s already miserable life turned into something more horrible and lonely.

       The knock thumped again and Taeyeon chose to ignore it… again. Well, the door was locked. Shut tight against the world. His world. My world. Ours. She just couldn’t bear to read what she’d just written and she knew now that nobody ever would. There could be no short, sad story, no competition, no pages for The Read It contest to mull over. Because now it was written the job was done. Complete. Finished. Over. Now that it was done, Taeyeon could go back to the very start and delete it all. She scrolled right back to the very beginning and selct all the text and then press the button.

Click.

Deleted.

       Like magic it was gone from the screen. Blank white pages filled the file now. Then, Taeyeon emptied the recycle bin just to be doubly sure it was all gone. Forever.

       Okay, no more.

       “Taeyeon, open the door. I want to talk to you…” Jiyong’s voice was plaintive, almost begging.

       “Taeyeon, please!”

       Now this time was louder, sure thing his voice rose. Taeyeon stood up straight faltering a little in her pumps. She’d used her makeup too and barely recognised herself in the mirror. She looked so much… older. A woman.