Jaejoong used to be a teenager who spent most of his time at home reading or watching TV shows. He was like a misfit, hardly finding his place in this world, a place were he could proudly say 'I belong here.' .

His father left when he was like five. Jaejoong doesn’t even remember his face, only the time he and his mother fought, their screams and his mothers cries. Those tears broke his heart day by day and he promised to do even the impossible to make sure that she'd never cry again. The day his mother announced that she wanted to divorce was the last time Jaejoong saw his dad. They fought again only this time his father left the house in a hurry, and he was so angry when he wanted to get across the street and he didn't see that car and it hit him. He died and the boy refused to go to his funeral. He preferred to think that he left them and he was alive somewhere than to know that he's gone for good.

 

He used to think that love isn't real. That all the feelings are just games played by hormones or superficial feelings that would be gone in time. His mother always repeated  ''I can't wait you to get married, Jaejoong and to make me grandson. I can't wait to be a grandma.'' and he smiled at her but deep inside he was screaming because he knew that it's not like him. Jaejoong never questioned himself about his orientation.

 

Also he didn't like people so much. There always were people who made fun of him because he had  feminine features and he was so suave and always ready to help someone and they always took advantage of that and it turned him in a different person, but only in appearance. He was a paradox; in appearance he looked so cold and heartless but in essence he was so warm that he could heat an entire room and he didn't seem to have a heart but two. Even if this character made people avoid him, it was better this way. No matter how much he repeated to himself that it is better to stay like that, deep down he felt lonely, but the boy tried to fill this hole with books. At day he helped his mother and at night he read until he felt his eyes heavy and the sleep enveloped him slowly.

 

Days passed and the end of high school came.

''You must go to the prom, Jaejoong.'' his mother said happily as she entered the room while he was trying his robe. ''High School is one in a lifetime, baby.''

''Thanks God, mom.'' Jaejoong couldn’t believe it was finally over. The longest four years of his life. Now he no longer had to pretend that he was something that he clearly was not.

''But still, you must go to the prom.'' his mother looked at him. ''who knows, maybe you will find your princess out there?'' 

He smiled at her and shook his head.

''Don't be silly, mom. You watched to many Disney movies lately. There is no such thing as princess ,only girls who think they deserve the world only because they are girls. Their species is so weird, they want the world but do nothing about it. If possible the world should come to their doors knocking and having money in one hand and the keys to a luxurious car in the other.''

''You talk like they are aliens, Jae.'' his mother laughed. '' You'll change your mind when you will meet that one girl. The one who will have that glowing halo around her, that when she smiles she could enlighten an entire room even if it's dark outside. The moment she enters the room everything stops. You could even swear that Mozart or Beethoven are in your ears and they are playing sweet songs about love and everything in between. You will feel their fingers in your heart like they play a song on the piano. Some people call it 'butterflies' while I like to call it the birth of love. And this is only the beginning, darling. After that, everything that follows will be unforgettable. No matter who will make you chose between someone else and your love, always choose the LOVE. And baby, what was between your father and me was not like that, so don't worry. True love really exists, Jaejoong, and you will find it sooner or later. If you don't find it, don't lose hope, it will find you.''

Jaejoong started tearing up and hugged his mother so tight he almost crushed her. After the hug, she smiled and got out of the room, leaving him alone to finish his preparations.

''Oh, mother, if you only knew how wrong you are.''

And only if he knew how wrong he was.

 

The night of the prom came. He chose a black suit, which in combination with his black hair gave him a mysterious feeling. He  looked at himself in a mirror and started laughing.

“Did the mirror say a funny joke?'' Mrs. Kim, his mother, asked as she appeared behind his back looking at Jae like he was crazy.

''Remember the movies with James Bond we watched when I was little? Well, I feel like a James Bond right now. ''

''What a mind you have, Jaejoong.'' The look on her face made him laugh even more. She smiled at him. Jaejoong was like a child despite his age. She remembered the five-year-old boy always crying when she cried, who grew up being the perfect son.

The laughters soon stopped.

''Mom, why are you crying?'' The question surprised her, she didn’t realize that she was indeed crying. She wiped her tears as Jaejoong hugged her

''I'm so proud of you, son. So proud! I love you. Don't you ever forget this.'' He nodded and hugged her even more. He was aware that if he started saying something he would begin to cry too and that meant that she would cry more.

 

At the prom everything was exactly how he had expected. Everyone was dancing, singing and drinking and he was alone. When Jaejoong wanted to go home, he almost tripped on someone.

''I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...'' he stopped when he looked at the person. He was the same age as Jaejoong, but he looked more mature and even more handsome. The way his eyes were sparkling and his smile, that was so big, made him enlighten the entire room.

''Don't worry. It happens'' He extended his hand. ''I'm Jung Yunho and you must be?''

He looked perplexed at the hand like it was on fire and only if he took it could stop it from burning.

''Kim Jaejoong.''

And this is how he met Yunho. The one who changed his life forever.

 

After the prom they kept in touch. For the first time in his life he let the wall off around other people besides his mother. Mrs. Kim was glad that he made a friend but she was still dreaming of a perfect girl for her son and that drove him crazy. She tried to convince him to go to blind-dates or she almost made him date the neighbour's daughter and so on, that made him say ''I don't want to date someone today, mom.'' instead of 'Good Morning, mom'' when he woke up.

Jaejoong spent more time with Yunho and they both found that they had so many thing in common that he started to wander if they were twins. As the time went by he started to feel not only closer to Yunho, but confused about his feelings as well

 

It was the end of the summer when Jaejoong finally realized that he loved Yunho.

''Hey, Yunho, what do you think about love?'' he asked him as both of them were laying on the grass, on a blanket, watching the sky. His hand were is in his hair, ruffling it slowly.

''Love is making someone’s happiness your own happiness. Love is like flying to another world where everything is sweet and there is no pain, no tears, only happiness.''

Jaejoong smiled because this is how exactly he felt about Yunho, but he also wanted to know more.

''But how do you know when you love a person? The feelings sometimes are wrong and there is no using manual for this.''

He giggled so softly that it tickled Jae’s ear.

''Let's say that you have chocolate. For the first time in your life you have chocolate: you look at it and you are afraid and don't know that you'll like it, but you open it and take a bite and you are confused about the feelings that piece of chocolate gave you. After a while you take another bite and another and another until you finish it and realize that you love it. You fall in love with the taste with every bite. That's how love is: at first you are afraid and confused about your feelings, but you still go on because people generally don't like being confused and then, as you try to know more about them, they become clear, and as you try more and more, just like the chocolate, it ends. Only that in this case it’s not the love that ends, but the confusion. You realize how exactly your feelings are. When the confusion dies, the love wins. It rises stronger and ready to grow. Because love doesn't end. True love never dies, it only grows.''

When he finished his speech Jae realized that he had tears in his eyes. He sighed and Yunho stopped ruffling his hair and made the boy look at him.

''What's wrong?'' Yunho looked like a combination of hurt and confusion. Jaejoong  took a deep breath. Is was ‘now or never’ and ‘now ‘ it was.

''I… I love you, Jung Yunho.'' He smiled.

''I though this day would never come. I love you too, Kim Jaejoong. So much.'' He smiled too.

That day Jaejoong finally felt alive for the first time in his life. The colors around him became even brighter, the birds started singing even louder, the people around them seemed all so happy, but in reality, nothing changed outside. However, to them, everything was different.

 

On New Year's Eve, Jaejoong and Yunho decided to go to the latter’s family. Of course, no one knew about their relationship. Everyone thought they were just best friends. They decided though to tell them the next month.

That night they made love for the first time. Yunho promised that everything would be alright and Jaejoong trusted him. It was like a trip to Heaven because it was not the kind of wild and hard ; it was soft and tender. It was the first time for Jaejoong and it was so perfect, and the fact that he felt even more loved by Yunho made it more than perfect.

It was 11:58 when Yunho asked Jaejoong what he wanted to do the next year.

'' I wanted to see the world. To know more, to see more, to feel more. Too bad that will never happen.''

Yunho took Jaejoong's hand in his and as the clock struck the midnight and the fireworks enlightened the room he said:

''This year, Jaejoong, you will see the world! I promise you. I'll take you everywhere! Just you and me.''

He jumped on Yunho and kissed him. And that night they made love again as they sealed the promise.

 

On January 6^th, Jaejoong felt like his world ended. He went with Yunho to announce his mother about his relationship with him and to say their plans to her. The moment he entered the room and his mother saw that both of them holding their hands, she widened her eyes and a glimpse of disgust crossed her face. Jaejoong saw this and became mute. He couldn't say anything so Yunho took the initiative.

''Mrs. Kim, as you can figure out. me and Jaejoong are together. I love him so much and he loves me and...''

''Stop it.'' She interrupted him. ''My son is not gay. What you two have is not love, it’s something wicked and how can a boy loves another boy?! You just want to experiment what it's like to do a boy, don't you, Yunho? You fooled my son.’’

''Mom...'' Jaejoong started saying something but the shock was too much for him. How could his own mother say all those stuff?

''Mrs. Kim, I...'' Yunho tried again but his mother cut his words

''Chose, Jaejoong: Me or him?''

''What?'' Jaejoong felt tears streaming down his face. ‘’But… mom, I ...’’

‘’It’s me or him, Jaejoong. I will not accept my son being with another boy.’’ Jaejoong hesitated and tried to speak again. But his mother cut his word before he could even begin. ‘’If you chose him you’ll be dead to me. ‘’ After hearing this, he let go of Yunho's hand and Yunho looked at him like he had two heads.

''Jae...'' He tried to reach for Jaejoong's hands, but he avoided him.

''I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'' Jaejoong looked one more time at Yunho as tears flew uncontrollably down his face.  'I love you.' he whispered and ran to his room, then locked the door. Yunho looked now at the closed door and felt his heart broken in thousands and thousands of pieces.

''Now, Yunho, get out and don't you ever come here again.''

He looked now at Mrs. Kim and said angrily, without raising his voice.

''You don't realize that you are the one who destroys her own son? All his life he did everything he needed to do, he was the perfect son. And now you take the only chance for happiness he has? I promised him to show the world to him and I will do it because I love him more than anything in this world. We've known each other for six months, but in the these six month we've lived more than we lived in the first 18 years of our lives. Please, just think again.'' He started crying. She made a step in front of him and slapped him. Yunho covered his cheek with his hand and left his head down.

''GET. OUT.'' She said through her teeth.

Yunho left the apartment and spent the next four hours in the car, crying and trying to call Jaejoong, but he had the telephone closed. He needed Jaejoong as much as he needed air. That brunet boy with his contagious laugh who was his sun on cloudy days.

 

One month after that, Jaejoong woke up and he looked at the calendar. It was Yunho's birthday and he didn’t even have the courage to call him or send him a text. He went to the kitchen and his mother was cooking. He looked at her and suddenly it hit him. He did the wrong choice.

''Mom, today I'm gonna see Yunho.'' His mother dropped the plates as he made the announcement.

''You what?''

''I'm gonna see Yunho.'' he repeated.

''I forbid you! ''

''You make me choose between him and you, but you also said that when someone makes me choose between my love and something else always to choose my love. Remember?''

''But I'm your mother and I will not approve that you, a boy, loves another boy.''

''Mom, I love you, but right now I'm choosing Yunho. You know why? Because he showed me what life really is! I've never felt more alive in my whole life and he loves me, mom. He truly loves me and I don't want to lose this.'' He breathed. '' Right now, it’s my time to ask: will you let me be with Yunho or not?''

''I will NEVER accept my son being gay. If you choose him, then leave. I'll pretend that my son died with his father in that accident.'' Jaejoong felt betrayed.

''Do as you will.''  his mother watched in shock as he took his wallet and telephone from the table and tried hard to hold back the tears. He opened the door and, without looking back, he said:

''Goodbye, mom. We will meet again, somewhere, in time.'' he closed the door and the tears now made their way to his face.

 

 

Yunho heard the bell ringing. It was his birthday, but he didn't feel like partying, so he just spent the day staying in bed. It had been a month since that day at Jaejoong's house when his whole world changed. He tried everything to have his Jaejoong back. It was his, damn it. He got up from the bed and, without looking, he opened the door and froze. There was Jaejoong in pajamas, crying and, at the same time, smiling. He was a combination of pain and happiness, just like a bittersweet chocolate.

''Happy Birthday.'' Jaejoong tried to sound enthusiastic, but he had walked from his place to Yunho's in pajamas and it was February, and their houses were pretty far one from the other, so he sounded more like someone about to faint. Yunho smiled and dragged him inside.

''Are you ok?'' His worry could be read on his face. Jaejoong nodded.

''Now everything is fine.'' They hugged each other and spent the rest of the day making love and making plans about their journey. Yunho had a promise to keep.

 

''You took everything?'' Yunho asked as he put the luggage in the car .

''I hope so.'' He started to enumerate various things that they would need on their journey. After he finished he smiled contently ''Yes, I took everything.''

''Let's go and start this new life, babe. You, me and the sky.'' They kissed and with that, on the 21st of February, their trip started. They wanted to see the world and that they would do.

 

They were almost everywhere. They went to Paris and they kissed on the top of the tour Eiffel, they walked on Champs-Élysées, they made love in every place they could. In Italy, they ate the famous pasta and pizza. In Egypt, they took photos with camels and with the pyramids. In Australia, Jaejoong fell in love with kangaroos. It took Yunho two days to convince him that, for their sanity and safety, they shouldn’t buy one of those. In Romania, they went to see the famous Dracula. After hearing so many stories they wanted to try role play and for the first time, they had rough and hard . Well, Romania would never be forgotten. They went to London and walked with their busses. They only stayed there for four days but it was enough for Jaejoong to learn everything about Doctor Who and drive Yunho crazy with all the ''allons-y''s and ''I'm the doctor'' and all the stuff from there. 

 

On December 31^st, Yunho and Jaejoong had a fight. It was something stupid, but it was more than that. They were in  America, about to leave for Japan when everything started. Yunho was angry because Jaejoong interpreted something wrong and no matter how much he tried to explain to him, he didn't want to listen. He left the house to get some fresh air, but when he was about to cross the street, a stupid drunk driver hit him with his car.

 

One hour later, ,Jaejoong was in the hallway of the hospital, crying silently. He didn't know anything about what was happening to Yunho, only that he was in surgery. He prayed that he would be ok, he had to be ok. His Yunho would survive and they would continue his journey. He needed him. He closed his eyes as the tears continued streaming down his face. Half an hour later, someone shook his shoulder. He had probably fallen asleep. He looked at the doctor and suddenly, he felt like the whole building was falling on his head. The look in his eyes said more than one hundred of words could ever say.

''I'm sorry, mister Kim, but your friend died. We tried to...'' The doctor continued talking, but he couldn’t hear him anymore. He looked around the hallway and when he saw the stairs,  he ran to them and then to the roof.

 

And this is where we are now. Jaejoong looks one more time. His life changed for the third time and this time he was left with nothing.

''Yunho, how could you leave me here? HOW?'' He screams as he falls to his knees. He looks at the sky. ''You promised me that you will always be here for me and now what are you doing? We didn't even finish our journey.'' He stands up and gets close to the roof edge. ''But don't worry. I promise I will meet you soon and we will continue our adventure. Just you ,me and the sky.''

And as the clock strikes midnight, Jaejoong let himself fall from the roof.

 

In the end, they both kept their promises.

 

                                       THE END