“Oppa, did you still remember this necklace?” I said while hold the necklace on my neck. This was it the first birthday present by you during our first year as a couple. That night wore our best attire you brought me to the fancy restaurant having our privacy time together… only the two of us. How could I imagine the scene in the Korean Drama that I love to watch really happen to me? It’s like a fairytale.  With only 5 staffs to assist us, we shared our night together – eating, laughing, dancing and even kissing without shame. Still I remember how you make me blush and my heart fluttered that night with your romantic gesture and words also the love song that you had given to me. Really that night I feel like a princess… your gentleness and charmed towards me make me fall a thousand more time towards you. Also you vow that night still lingered to my mind…

“Ji Hyo-ah remember I’ll always love you”

And I still kept that vow deep to my heart.

But actually this necklace not really was the first present from you.  Remember the three red roses flower was your first present to me that you gave once you approached me. You said those three red roses resembled your heart to me… meaning of I Love You, Sa Rang Hae. You had given me your heart there also mines toward you. This fragile heart of mine that you swore would always took care of and never broke it apart. Unlike those three roses that would die yours love towards me wouldn’t instead it would be increased and renew everyday. You said your love to me today would be more that yesterday.

Oppa, really I glad to have you as my man, to give my heart to you. You the one who is always loyal to me, you the one who always took care of me, love me tenderly and never failed to shower me with your love everyday. The fragile heart of mine never had you broke it even to cracked it is something that difficult to you.  Although with your hectic life as a famous singer never had you forgotten about me even a while, me had always been in part of your life every day, every minute and every second. Surprise, present, hug and kisses I don’t know how much you had given me… I loose count to it until we celebrate my birthday again for the second year and continue till the following year. So much we had celebrated together, either with only both of us or with our friend. So much also we had shared together… and I never regretted to give it all to you even my body and soul. Truly, madly and deeply I fall in love with you Oppa…

“Kim Jong Kook Oppa, I Love You… Saranghae”

But why Oppa suddenly it changed before we can celebrate my birthday for a fourth time. That wicked night, that damn night it had changed all my life and also our love. Just because to be with you, just because to supported you… didn’t care my tired body due to the shooting at the day, won’t budge the slippery road of the cold winter I drove alone to your Christmas concert in Seoul. Yes you had urged me to asked my manager to drove it for me… but I stubborn… I regretted it, I doesn’t want to disturbed them on this Christmas until I loose balanced and my car crashed.

“Ji Hyo-ah… Ji Hyo-ah…” I could remember and heard your nerve voice once I conscious with your warm hand tightly bonded to mine. But why Oppa, why… I can’t saw your face... I can’t saw the surrounding anymore… why all my sight had become black? I rubbed my eyes to clear my sight, I closed my eyes and open it back to saw you… but I can’t. Although how much I wanted or I prayed. My eyes kept running to search for you but I failed even though I can sense you breath to my face, I can felt your moist lip landed to mine or your hand brushed to my cheek. Slowly a tears fall from my eyes while I recalled your handsome face in my mind. I wouldn’t saw your face anymore.

Day by day I waited you at the Hospital but never had you come again after you heard that news. Without a word you just leaved abandoned the blind me alone. No news or calls from you after… with my speed dial everyday I tried to reached you but always my called only leave with no reply. Why Oppa why? Why suddenly you change? Did I too abominable to be with you? Where is your vow and your words to always be my side? Where is the loyal Kim Jong Kook that I know? I’m sad Oppa… I’m broken Oppa… why you do this to me?

“Ji Hyo-ah just forget him already. He is a jerk”

But never had I lose hope to you… every day, every minute, every second I waited for you to come back to me. No matter what my friend said about you… I never believed it. I trusted you Oppa, I knew you wouldn’t never leave me… not because with my condition like this. You still loved me… you just busy and disturbed for a while, when the times come you will go back to me again… said your love word to me again… and we will had our happy time together again.

And yes that day you come back to me again. That day you came to my home and you know how glad I’m? Truly I miss you a lot… in difficult I walked to you and pull you to my embraced. My tears fall again once I can sense your smell that I had addicted too. With my palm I touched to your handsome face… the face that always in my dream.

“Get off your hand from my face!”

Totally I’m shocked once I heard your fierce voiced. Totally I’m flustered when you pushed me aside and walk away from me. But totally I’m broken when you said that word to me.

“Who are you to be with me? You just will brings my life miserable”

Fall I’m almost fainted to hear your word. Kneel… I’m kneeled down once the door being shut and you leave the place. Cried… I’m cried wailed for your name but never you back again… you had leave me forever… leave me for good.

‘Kim Jong Kook will broad his career to LA’

How grateful I was to hear that news of you. You had successful Oppa, your dream had come true. I wished you will find your happiness there and be successful in your career. Don’t worry I wouldn’t blame you for the things happen and long enough had I forgive you… Just I wished don’t ever forget me the person that had come to your live even for a while coz you always be in my heart forever. Your word, your vow and all the things that you had abandon will always I remember. Since the day you leave to abroad never I heard your news again… You really had leaved me forever.

“Song Ji Hyo-shi, we already found a donor for your eyes”

Bunch of congratulation I received by my friend once the news spread by the Doctor. But never it be a happy news for me. For me what for I had my sight back if I wouldn’t see you again Oppa? What for I do the operation if the person I wanted to see the most wouldn’t be my side? Truly Oppa I can’t live without you, but why does you leave me? Why suddenly you changed? Although how much I want to rejected the operation but thinking of my family and friend who is always care for me cease my stubborn mind. Even though you not by my side I’ve others who always there for me… during my up and falls. Why couldn’t you be like them Oppa? So, that day on my birthday I had my big operation.

You know Oppa, even though I know you wouldn’t be there for me but always your face that I searched first once I open my eyes, once my sight had come back to me. But alas you not there… the face and smile that I wanted to see the most had gone. And my tears fall again and again.

It’s all happen 2 years before Oppa… for almost 730 days you had leaved me. Since that day never had I heard any news of you anymore. You had missing without trace. Slowly I had able to forget you in my life and found the new love. Today also in my birthday he had proposed to me and within half a year we will hold our big day. So, slowly I lose out the necklace on my neck and placed it inside a big box with all the present from you. It’s really lot Oppa… but sorry I can’t keep it anymore and thank you for all this present and come to my life. Giving me experience and teach me of love.

Thank you Oppa and Goodbye…

*****

“Song Ji Hyo-shi congratulation for your engagement” the reporter end the interview and the photo shoot at the lake. With a warm smile I bow to them. I glanced a while to my watch, since it’s still early for my date I decided to walks around the lake. Well actually this was my first time been here.

The lake was nice and not many people here which I able to loiter around without troubled. Being a celebrity sometime it’s a disturbed to disguise ourselves to avoid a fans. The wind breeze warmly to my face and felt tired I walked to the bench nearest.

Near to my bench there sat one man with his dog took a rest and had their meal. Their gesture really attracted to my attention especially his obedience dog. In smile I just saw the dog bark to his owner which then the man with his shade and cap will focused to him. They like communicated to each other. And at that time also I noticed something dropped to the ground without the man attention since he is busied to pack his belonging.

Slowly I picked the drop thing and I frowned to see my photo. Stumbled I unable to walk as I knew only one person who had that picture and read the word behind the picture. Braved myself I ease my own breath before walked to him prepared for any possibility happen. For two years -now, we had met again.

“Sir, this is yours” I lend the picture to him but surprise the dog who took it.

“Ah… thank you Miss” he bow after received the picture and save it to his pocket. Before I able to utter any word, he took out the stick from his pocket and leaved the place with the dog as his navigator.

Stand silently I just cry saw him leave recalled the word behind the picture.

'The last and forever gift in my live. Sorry, because of me you had suffer and only that I can give as my last present to you. I will and forever be your eyes… Ji Hyo-ah, saranghanda.'

[15.08.14] Happy Birthday to Song Ji Hyo unnie. The Mong Ji Hyo, our brave Ace and also the half of the SpartAce. Wish you a forever wealth, health and bunch of love from the one man that loved you.