These Secrets We Keep

Wakefulness came to her as a warm soft breath brushed against her hand (which was wrapped in another’s), fluttering her insides as Yoona finally opened her blurry eyes to the morning light. She squinted as the sun’s rays glared at her vision, silhouetting a face she knew she dreamed about for years and was finally there – in the flesh – and sleeping beside her.

She did not sit up in surprise or scream in shock as she’d always imagined she’d do if a foreign man was ever to climb into her bed, but Changmin was not a stranger. He was her husband and Yoona supposed she hadn’t felt this comfortable around him since he’d come home. Most likely because there were too many things she didn’t know; too many hurts she’d kept hidden for years, though at least half were finally relieved the night before.

Half of the truths she had longed for had been revealed, and it was surely only a matter of time till she knew of it’s entirety.

And perhaps then, once she knew and understood everything… maybe then, she’d finally be ready to start over with him again. Maybe.

Yoona let out a soft sigh as she lightly rubbed fingers against his fingers laced between hers. Her heart felt so full at that moment – filled with mixed emotions of guilt, relief, hope and – by God, what was the use of pretending she hadn’t felt it in the longest of times – love? She stopped herself from making a strangled sound and took a deep breath instead. Reaching over to brush the curl on top of his forehead, she wondered just how much longer it would take for everything to fall into place. When would she be able to look at him and not see the years of his absence and negligence? Although it wasn’t entirely his fault (it was partially hers as well, but she’d admitted that to herself), Yoona wasn’t about to give up on knowing all of his secrets.

She deserved the truth, didn’t she?

The vows were clear after all (‘for richer or for poorer; till death do us part’).

Yoona shook her head at her silliness and started to move away only to stop as fingers tugged hers securely in its’ place. Changmin’s eyes opened and looked at her dead-on. His touch warmed her skin instantly and she pulled back slightly in embarrassment.

“Good morning.” Changmin said, lacing his fingers through hers as he looked at her with sleepy eyes. His gaze held her just as his warmth fluttered against her skin, inflaming her senses. She breathed him in, marveling at the spicy scent of him and bit her lip to keep herself from giving in and burying herself in his arms.

It scared her how much she felt for him. How much she loved him, but couldn’t trust him to know her heart.

“I’m… not ready to trust you again.” Yoona whispered, pulling her hand away from his touch. She sat as far away as she could, but not too far as to lose the comfort of his scent. Changmin nodded solemnly, pulling himself off the mattress to sit up as well. His gaze directed at her as she played with her fingers nervously.

She continued, braving a chance to steady her eyes with his. A warmth rushed through her as their gazes tilted towards each other, pulling them unconsciously closer to one another. Their eyes never wavered as she spoke, even as he leaned towards her inch by inch. “I don’t think I’ll be able to give it to you freely. My trust, I mean.”

“Then I’ll take it one step at a time. Slowly, until you accept me again.” Changmin said seriously, palming the curve of her cheek delicately. Her breath caught as he inched even closer, bringing his lips towards her.

It was barely a touch, but when their lips met it was almost like the first kiss they’d shared on their wedding day. Tentative and nervous, Yoona couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh against his skin in surrender. And when his hands brought her down and back onto the bed, she knew resisting would pointless. There was nothing she could do. No matter how much she wanted to fight it, her heart ached for him all the more.

And so they exchanged gentle kisses under the morning light streaming through their half-curtained windows. Changmin gave her space in an effort to keep his promise to be patient, only touching her softly if Yoona reached out to touch him first. Which she did, shyly, placing her free hands against his jaw as their lips met again and again and—

A loud knock on the door shook them out of their reverie, awakening their rational minds back into reality. Yoona shot up suddenly, blushing furiously as her maid’s head poked through the open door. Her words were slightly muffled, but both Changmin and Yoona could tell that the young maid had not expected to see either of them in bed together after all of the hostility she thought her mistress still had for the master of the house.

“I’m sorry to intrude, but… there’s someone here to see you, Master.”

Yoona’s eyes widened at the words, turning her head curiously at Changmin who had sat up as well. He shrugged at her direction, sliding off of the mattress to face the help by the door. “I don’t feel like seeing anyone but my wife today, Minyoung. Would you mind telling that person to come another day?” he said patiently, crossing his arms across his chest.

The young maid, Minyoung, shook her head and pursed her lips in uncertainty as she lowered her gazw. “I wouldn’t mind, Sir, but she said it was urgent that you speak with her right away.”

“She?” Yoona echoed loudly, slipping off of the bed as well to walk towards the door. She stopped just beside Changmin’s suddenly tense form, her brow wrinkling in dread and suspicion as her husband let out a defeated sigh under his breath.

Alarmed, she faced her maid and asked—though she immed