The air was thick with tension; the full moon that is usually so bright and beautiful now looks haunting… almost mocking the pair that stood near the Han River.

“I’m sorry” Junho finally broke the silence, breaking the trance she was in, his voice just a whisper.

“It’s okay,” she said and looked over to Junho to smile at him, but he knew her, he knew her smile, and that wasn’t it.

They continued to gaze at the river, both of them trying to calm their emotions. Junho took a peek and looked at her without turning his head and he could see her trying to hold back her tears. He took a step to hug her, but she held her right hand up, stopping him in his tracks.

“Don’t make this harder for me,” she whispered, her voice cracking, a lone tear finally escaping and trailing down her right cheek. He looked at her, his heart breaking into pieces again as she looked up at him and smiled through her tears.

“I need to go now. I have some things to take care of” She tried to sound brave, even though her heart was physically aching and she just wants to curl up into a ball and lie on the floor.

“I’ll call you.” Junho said, his hands clenching and unclenching into a fist, trying to refrain himself from reaching out and hugging her, just this one last time.

“Talk later?” She said, looking at Junho, who nodded in response.

They didn’t.

Wooyoung looked up at Junho, not believing him. “When?” he finally asked Junho, his eyes still wide, his ice cream mid-air as he looked up at his friend from the sofa he was sitting on.

“A few days ago” Junho shrugged, trying to act casual though he still felt this dull pain on the inside whenever he thought of her and that night.

Wooyoung stared at Junho, the latter avoiding eye contact and sat down next to his friend on the sofa, pretending to be occupied by the 5 girls dancing around on TV.

“Are you okay?” Wooyoung slowly asked Junho, not sure if that was the right question to ask. Oh, what was he thinking? Of course he wasn’t okay! Junho just broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years. The girlfriend who 2 weeks ago, sat on this very sofa, watching football with all of the members.

Junho shrugged once more, still staring at the TV that now had 6 boys running around singing a song about hurricanes or something. “I will be.” He said, trying to sound convincing even though he knew Wooyoung didn’t believe him. Wooyoung didn’t say anything; he knew that Junho just needs him to be there. He just needs his best friend there.

“Junho, what the hell is wrong with you today?” Taecyeon screamed, sweat dripping from his face, panting hard while the steady rhythm of the song they were dancing to played in the background.  “Come on, answer me!” Taecyeon screamed once again, pushing Junho’s shoulders backwards as he stood closer in front of the other guy. Junho let him, looking down at the floor.

“Hey, hey, stop it!” Nichkhun interfered and got in between the two boys while the others looked on, confused and silent.

“No! It’s the billionth time today that Junho messed up and almost fell! Do you know how dangerous that was? Do you want to break your spine? DO YOU?” Taecyeon screamed, pushing Nichkhun out of the way and started to push Junho backwards again.

“Get your head in the game man!” he screamed once more before leaving the practice room, grabbing his bag on the way out. Nichkhun looked at where Taecyeon was before he disappeared out of the room, trying to decide what to do. Stay here with his vulnerable friend, or chase after his angry friend?

Chansung spoke up and quietly told Nichkhun to go after Taecyeon while he talked to Junho. Nichkhun hesitated but then nodded and walked out of the room, Wooyoung and Minjun in tow.

Junho slid down the mirror and sat down on the wooden floor, hugging his legs, his right cheek resting on his knees. Chansung didn’t say anything for a while, leaving his best friend to his own thoughts before he sat next to Junho, leaning on the mirror.

“He was just worried about you.” Chansung said, wiping his face that was dripping with sweat. “He just didn’t want you to fall and get hurt, you know that right?” Chansung added again, playing with his fingers.

“I know.” Junho quietly said, his words muffled by his knees. Silence fell inside the practice room, the music turned off by Minjun in the midst of the fight.

“You’ll be alright, buddy.” Chansung said, now looking at Junho, his eyes searching for his best friend’s. “You’ll be alright.” He repeated again, grasping the latter’s shoulder and squeezing it once as reassurance.

“Hey.” Junho’s voice came out soft.

“Hey.” She said, surprised to see him in Cheongdam Station, decked in an oversized coat with a scarf covering his face. But she could recognize him anywhere. She could always recognize those eyes.

It’s been 78 days since Junho last saw her, but she looked different. More mature?

“Can we talk somewhere?” Junho pleaded, looking around to indicate the many curious onlookers who were looking at this strange man wearing an oversized coat in the middle of spring.

She hesitated at first, thinking over the question, wondering if it was smart of her to talk to the guy that broke her heart 2 months ago. Then she nodded, her heart lifting as she saw Junho’s eyes lit up and forming those crescents that she loved so much. That she loves so much.

15 minutes later, they were in the café they always went to before, her hands gripping the Caramel Macchiato that she ordered earlier. They sat there in silence first, not knowing how to start the conversation.

“How have you been?” Junho finally broke the silence, his voice that she was deprived of made her heart flutter, causing her eyes to look down.

“I’ve been okay. Tired, but okay. You know how my company is.”  She said knowingly, intertwining her fingers together. Junho nodded, remembering how harsh her company was. JYPE was heaven compared to hers. But it will all pay off. He knows it will. His girl’s being pushed to the brink for a reason.

His eyes widened when he thought that. ‘His girl’. Where did that come from? He cleared his throat before answering that yes, he did remember. They fell silent again, Junho silently sipping his coffee while she looked around the café, realizing how much she’s missed this place. The aroma, the atmosphere, the soothing music in the background, the company.

“I’ve missed you.” Junho broke the silence again, his voice just barely above a whisper.

“It was your choice,” she reminded him.

“You know I had to.”

“I know you did! I just don’t know why you had to break up with me 4 months before my debut! You know how much I need you and your support but you left anyway.” Her voice got louder and louder as seconds passed by.

Junho looked down, suddenly ashamed.

“You didn’t have to break up with me.” She whispered, saying the words again to remind him of his mistake.

“Yes I did. I know how hard it was when I first debuted! We wouldn’t be able to talk to each other if we stayed together! And the added pressure from the fans, mine AND yours, we wouldn’t be able to handle it. 3 years later, and I’m still finding it hard to keep my personal life out of the limelight. Imagine how hard it will be for you!” Junho lets out his thoughts, frustrated by all these accusations made by the girl that he loves.

She knows. She’s heard this before. He said the exact same thing three months ago near the river. “I can handle it,” she said stubbornly.

Junho grabbed her hands, “I know you. And I know how hard you work. This relationship won’t work once you debut. We will grow apart before we just end up hating each other. Let’s not fight, please. Let’s end this in good terms.” He whispered, his eyes filled with tears, as he looked at the woman he loves trying to control her sobs.

She nodded as she tightly gripped his large hands. He desperately wanted to kiss her and comfort her but he didn’t have the right to do that. Not anymore.

“Stay.” She uttered that one word and finally looked into his eyes, asking him, no, begging him to stay with her.

He nodded.

Junho smiled as he watched the TV, his heart aching but also happy with joy. She won. Her group finally won. She spoke with tears in her eyes, thanking the people that she needed to thank, talking about how happy she was for finally winning an award a year after their debut. He watched as she gave the microphone to the other members then playfully kissing the trophy. He watched as she sang the encore and he watched as the music program ended.

He turned the TV off and walked into his room, quietly closing and locking the door before sitting in front of his desk. Opening his notebook, he wrote:

Like a star.