“To live is to undertake a journey – no, to undertake a journey is to live. To face the wind or to follow it, all journeys lead to the gates of death…The light in which all journeys are taken is deceptive-not hopeful, but sorrowful. And the struggle never ends-everywhere on the earth is fleeting life. We are blown by the wind. The words we write in the sand disappear and finally, when we are swallowed by the sea we do not hear the waves. The humblest of creatures must face these dreadful barriers.”

The car hummed beneath Kyuhyun, sending gentle vibrations through his feet. Being in the car for the past few hours, it really did feel like to Kyuhyun that he had become one with car. With a sigh, he leaned his head back against the window, watching the scenery flash past in a whirlwind of moving colors and lights. It was all so different from the dour gray claustrophobia of the city.

Everything was so clean, crisp and clear. The land was barren fields of wheat, not a single house in sight. It was peaceful and serene… maybe it was just the thing Kyuhyun needed, what he needed for his heart.

He looked through the rearview mirror at his parents. A small wrinkle had appeared between his mother's brows that hadn’t been there before but now seemed permanent. Both their expressions were more serious and grim than their surroundings could warrant. He knew they remembered that fateful day just as clearly as he did, and it weighed on them, aging them past their years.

His mother glanced back at him, an expression of worry on her face, "Is there something wrong sweetie?"

 Kyuhyun was jerked back in surprise. Without his realizing it, his expression had darkened until he was basically glaring at the mirror. But he quickly lightened up and smiled back at her, "Nope nothing’s wrong, Mom. I was just about to take a nap."

"That’s good. You should try to get some rest before we arrive."

Getting himself adjusted, Kyuhyun leaned against the window and shut his eyes. But, as usual, the dreams were there waiting for him.

It began just like any normal day. The only difference was that he really didn’t want to get up. Something bad would happen if he did. But his alarm rang. He had to get to school. The classroom was cold as it usually was. He sat down at his desk and the teacher started talking. Then the desk melted beneath him. He sprawled on the floor, as if glued to it a weird buzzing sound in his head. Shadows of strangers loomed around him talking in soft nonsensical voices.

Then came a scream.

It was female and sharp, cutting through the haze.

Voices… white, gray, and completely fuzzy.

His parents, their faces were blurred.

There was the faceless doctor.

Kyuhyun couldn’t really hear what the doctor had said but he knew what it was as he sat there, perched on top of that examining bench.

"It’s incurable."

He awoke gasping.

But quickly Kyuhyun quieted down as not to alarm his parents nor his sister and cousin Hyukjae who were also sound asleep beside him. Staring at their calm and peaceful faces, he let out a sigh. He was jealous of how they can sleep without a care in the world, not a worry on their faces.

Turning away, Kyuhyun just went back to staring out of the window and the blur of scenery that just seemed to go by him as if it were all on fast-forward. And as they were traveling further and further away from the city, Kyuhyun knew that the life he once knew, the life that he loved, was gone.

<> 

Arriving safely to, what Kyuhyun felt, was in the middle of nowhere. His father had pried the car trunk up as Hyukjae made sure that all of their stuff didn’t flow out like an avalanche. Crawling out of the backseat, Kyuhyun stood there as he stared at the other two who were precariously trying to get things out of the trunk. Looking at Kyuhyun, Hyukjae rolled his eyes as he made a motion with his head towards the car.

“Hey, Kyu, a little help over here?” With a chuckle, Kyuhyun obliged as he strode over and the three of them began moving things into their new little bungalow. The air blowing softly, kissing Kyuhyun’s pale skin and all around them was even more fields of grass spreading as far as the eye could see. However behind the bungalow was a vast expanse of forest that trailed on to who knows how far.

Just as he was about to enter into their new home, Kyuhyun stopped for a brief second. His eyes were fixated on the forest… it was so alluring and mysterious and he did not know the reason why he felt that. But as he was about to leave, he noticed out of the corner of his eyes, a lone deer bounding gracefully through the trees and vanished into the forest. With a smile, Kyuhyun started to believe that maybe leaving the city was a good idea.

After a few days of adjusting in the new home and new environment, Kyuhyun’s doctor came to visit from the city to check on Kyuhyun’s condition. Sitting him down on his bed, the doctor began with the daily check-up of height, weight, reaction, sight, hearing... the usual.

Removing the stethoscope from his neck, he then slowly placed it on top of Kyuhyun’s skin. There was a light jolt from the cold metal that vibrated through Kyuhyun, but nothing else.

The doctor’s face was impassive and blank as he jotted down notes and placed the stethoscope back on his neck. Quickly looking down at all of the data he had collected, Kyuhyun didn’t noticed the slight widening of his eyes as the doctor excused himself and gently brought out Kyuhyun’s parents to discuss the findings. Immediately, the doctor softly closed the door behind him so that Kyuhyun could put back on his shirt.

With a sigh, Kyuhyun buttoned his shirt back up. However, he was struck with a sudden ting of curiosity as he tiptoed towards the door. Leaning his right ear against the wooden door, Kyuhyun quietly listened in on their conversation.

He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this. But, this is his condition… his disease. So, to Kyuhyun, he should be able to know what state he is in… right?

Immediately, Kyuhyun began to pick up voices as a conversation quickly formed, revolving around him.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cho… There is something I need to tell you.”

“What is it Doctor?” Kyuhyun’s mother asked. He could hear the worry in her voice.

“I have been Kyuhyun’s doctor since the day he was born and I know you both have truly done everything in your power to make sure that your son had the best chance of surviving with this debilitating heart condition but…” There was a pause as the doctor’s voice started to crack a bit, clearly indicating that he was trying to hold back his tears. “b-but I’m sorry, the muscle tissues in Kyuhyun’s heart have been deteriorating at a fast pace than I had ever expected. I-I’m afraid he will only have one week to live.”

Kyuhyun’s mother’s piercing shriek filled the air as she dropped down to her knees. His father grabbed onto her before she could pass out from the sudden shock. Swinging the door open, Kyuhyun’s eyes filled with tears as they streamed down his face like never-ending waterfalls. Clenching his heart, Kyuhyun stared at his parents and his doctor with a face that was contorted in pain, grief, anger, and anguish.

 “K-Kyuhyun…” His father glanced over at Kyuhyun as he could barely manage to whisper his name. Shaking his head uncontrollably, Kyuhyun repeated “no” again and again as he raced passed Hyukjae and Ara who also were crying, and out of the house into the forest.

Kyuhyun didn’t care where he went, he just wanted to escape.

He just wanted to escape from this reality.

Running as fast as he could, Kyuhyun found himself in a field of flowers surrounded by the forest he was just running in. His house was nowhere in sight.

Collapsing onto the ground Kyuhyun finally let out a painful scream as he soon cried himself to sleep, wishing this nightmare would go away.