Preview

Hyukjae sat quietly for about ten minutes until he couldn't bear it any longer. His knees he held tightly against his chest, and he awkwardly rested his head against the arm of the couch. Slowly, a salty wet substance trickled down his cheeks from out of his perfectly almond shaped eyes and the sobbing began. Wrought with grief, his chest trembled and his cries rose in volume as the source of his pain kept hammering into his thoughts. Fond memories and romantic desires filled him as he longed for his one and only, Lee Donghae, to walk through the front door of his dorm, with arms wide open and promises to stay for good.

Through the endless array of whimpers, Hyukjae heard the faint sound of footsteps quickly making their way toward him. A slight breeze grazed his skin from the haste of Leeteuk as the older man knelt by his side, pushed the coffee table away, and looked at him with worry evident on his face.

“What's the matter?” Leeteuk asked in almost a whisper, as if he felt he must, due to Hyukjae's sensitivity at the time. The younger boy could barely speak through his insistent crying, but he managed to choke out the three words that summed up all that he felt.

“I miss Donghae.”

There was a visible sigh from Leeteuk, and then with all the care in the world, he wrapped his arms tightly around Hyukjae, and squeezed the younger boy's head into his warm chest, muffling the sobs and letting tears soak the front of his shirt. Not long after, the sound of doors opening could be heard, and three other members rushed to the commotion. Siwon, Yesung, and Sungmin hovered over the two in curiosity. Siwon, who's kind heart felt that any sadness in others was his responsibility, was the first to ask what the problem was.

“He misses Donghae.” Teukie said with a sadness in his eyes. As if pride didn't matter, at the sound of Donghae's name, Hyukjae cried even louder than before, and held Leeteuk closer to him. Sungmin frowned at the sight of one of his closest friend's sorrow, and ran into his room. When he returned, he brought with him his laptop and quickly typed away. After a few short minutes, a familiar voice sounded through the pink machine, and Hyukjae looked up in surprise. Sungmin turned the screen towards him, and there he could see a tired and disheveled Donghae on video cam. Startled, the upset boy only cried more at the sight.

“Hyukkie?” Donghae rubbed his eyes awake and did a double take at his laptop to make sure what he was seeing was real. His baby was crying. He needed to know why.

“Baby what's the matter?” this time, he asked with concern laced in his words. He didn't even care that other members were listening, all he cared about, was the reason behind his lover's sadness. After he had calmed down some, Hyukjae took the computer into his lap and sniffled cutely between words, “I miss you.”

Donghae frowned and reached his hand out to the camera, as if he could reach through to the other side. The image that Hyukjae saw caused him to do the same, and if it weren't for the barrier of computer screen between them, the tips of their fingers would have been touching. At the sight of such an intimate scene, Leeteuk stood up and gestured for the others to go back into their rooms as well. Siwon kissed Hyukjae on the temple before returning to his room, Yesung gave him a tight squeeze of comfort on the shoulder, and Sungmin simply whispered for him to give back the laptop in the morning.

Left alone, the two boys relaxed and Donghae spoke again,“I miss you too baby.” His voice cracked. Thinking about the situation made him choke up with tears too. He inhaled sharply to hold them back because he felt deep in his heart that he had to be strong for Hyukjae in times like these. If he had managed to do it for the past three months, surely he could do it now, when it was most important.

They had never been away from one another like this before, and for this long. In the past ten years that they had known each other, they were attached at the hip. If they were close during pre-debut days, they were even closer now. They debuted not as band members, and not as companions, but as lovers. What seemed like fan service to the rest of the world was the real deal to them, and five years of heartbreak, success, and hard work together made their relationship extra special.

Donghae could remember the day it was announced in 2008 that he would be part of the sub group Super Junior M. He could also remember the feeling he got inside when Hyukjae was not listed in it. At the time Hyukjae acted happy for him, he knew that it meant activity time away from each other, but they had both figured it wouldn't be any different from the other sub groups. For Super Junior T activities, Hyukjae would only be away for three days at most. Somehow between now and then, Super Junior M grew to astronomical sizes in China and Taiwan, and that was when it started. The manager informed the boys that SJ-M would be doing a long stay in Taiwan for three months, and that this would not be the only one. They were to do three within the next two years.

Donghae then stopped his train of thought to focus on his lover again, and in the sweetest voice he could muster up he said, “I'll be back in a week. I'll even ask manager for an earlier flight. Do you think you can you wait that long?”

Success. Hyukjae sniffled still, but his gummy smile crept onto his face and he let out a small giggle. “Yeah.” he said bashfully. “I'm sorry for bothering you this late. Did Sungmin wake you?”

Donghae let out a chuckle.

“C'mon babe. You know the industry as well as I do. I didn't get back here until about twenty minutes ago.”

Hyukjae inhaled deeply. Even though he wasn't right next to him like he wanted to be, just talking with Donghae and seeing his face calmed him down more than he thought. Realization hit him, and then guilt. “Yeah, I know. You should get some sleep then.”

For the second time that night, Donghae frowned.“Stay,” he said pausing to find the right words, “Stay for tonight. I...just want to talk with you for a while longer.” His frown turned into a pout and Hyukjae smiled a real smile for the first time in the past three months. He then leaned forward and kissed the camera, “I love you.”