Fate's Cruel Hard Game

❤ Chapter 1❤

At one point throughout my adolescence I had some sort of notion that someday when I was older I would meet Xiumin and all my dreams would come true. Of course I did not fancy myself in love with the man he was five years older than I and from a completely different country. I mean who I was I other than some ambitious high school girl with nothing better to do with her time than day dream about Kpop stars? I found something special about Kim Minseok however, with his slightly chubby cheeks and his capability to show of a power that none of the other members possessed. He had the power to get the fans to sympathize and feel something. Girls like I who were anything but perfect who were judged by society for their flaws and imperfections. I had dreams, and he was my inspiration until that fateful day when I finally made it to Korea from my home country. That day turned out to be my nightmare come true.

I walked out of the airport and flagged a taxi as quickly as possible looking repeatedly at my watch. “, I'm going to be late.” I grab my suitcase and tell the man to drop me off at some studio which I could barely pronounce the name of. And so there I sat worriedly fidgeting which my grandmother had always gotten angry at me for but I couldn't care less at the moment. I mean here I was hundreds of thousands of miles away from home in a foreign country to start my new life. I wasn't going to just go home and unpack, screw all that I was going to an Exo fan signing. I've waiting four years for this and I wasn't going to wait a moment longer. As I jump out of the taxi with my suitcase in hand I walk into the studio ignoring all the stares I receive from both women and men alike. I was used to people looking at me but never this much, it was only added to the fact that I was white. I pout to myself as I get in line and I can hear some girls scoff at me before turning around to whisper to each other. From the small amount of Korean I had learned since my senior year of high school I could discern that it was nothing to be happy about. In fact I was downright insulted but I didn't let that stop me from being excited. I take out the letter I wrote when I was but eighteen years old when I had just turned into an adult and opened it, smiling back at the memories from then. I picture myself on my bed listening to Exo's newest album Xoxo and crying in joy and how amazing it was. I had never been more proud in my life and it was a great feeling. Time ticked by and an hour had passed before I had finally reached the front. I held in my gasp as my eyes landed on him the object of my inspiration, of my forever lasting hope. I step up before him and he looks up at me and his jaw drops.

“Wow, your huge.” He says absentmindedly. I knew what he meant, I was tall however that didn't stop the sting in my heart. I knew I was bigger than others. I towered over almost all the women in the room and I was taller than most of the men as well, and along with my height I was also wider than everyone as well. I smiled down at him disheartened but nevertheless happy to see the person I have admired for years he looked so delicate with his bones visible through his skin and his adorable height making him look like a child. I hand him the piece of paper as he signs my album cover and make my way along the line trying my best to avoid looking at the other members. I felt shamed and embarrassed. All those years of my grandmother forcing to the gym and to the dietitian were a sign that someday I'd regret being the way I was. As I finally reached Kris at the end of the list I took my album back hastily behind me as my tears began to drip down my pale white cheeks flushed pink and they rolled down to my blue plaid shirt. At twenty-one years old you'd think I'd stop being so embarrassed about myself and finally gain confidence but no. Throughout my first two university years I was confident, I knew I was a kind person I had been told so enough times. It was never hard to make friends because I always had that childish smile plastered on my face. Here no one knew of that person I was, I was someone new, even to myself. My past did not apply here it was a new start and it was already going down hill from what I have experienced in the past three hours.

The days went by and I settled into my university dorm and I unpacked my belongings. I smile at my handiwork and lie down on my bed just breathing in deeply as I turn on my Ipod and begin to play “Baby Don't Cry”, which was one of my favourite songs, but as I listened I felt a sickening feeling in my heart and a nauseous feeling in my stomach and I ran to the bathroom letting go of myself as I cried my heart out already wishing I could leave this place I had at one point wanted to call home forever.

I studied hard and used the schools gym facilities to my advantage working daily on becoming a better me, in no time I was losing weight like waves rolling away sand. I began to smile more at my fellow classmates and at some point I began to make friends. I met a group of girls who were as in love with Exo as I was and they wanted to attend Exo's newest concert and fan signing. It had been months since the embarrassment I suffered that day however it still haunted me in my dreams. I was afraid to go and face them again. I was different now yes, however inside my heart I was still insecure and scared. I agreed to go with them however because I couldn't hide from the people who kept me sane in my hardest years.

The concert was perfect and I could not contain and my squeals and screams of excitement. It felt as though I was experiencing the best type of adrenaline rush and I never wanted it to end. Watching these men in action made every cell in my body tingle in happiness and I felt so alive. When the concert came to an end and so did my joy, now I had to face up to all that happened the first time.

I stood their with my friends waiting as my friends talked animatedly and I kept unusually quiet, we advanced through the line quickly until it was finally that fated moment. I stood there staring down at him through my abnormally big eyes which were now even more pronounced than the first time I met him due to my weight loss. He looked up at me and smiled no sign of recognition crossing his features as he asked my name.

“Isabelle Keyes.” I say softly and he looks up at me in an instant and he has shock running across his face and all the other members look to me as well and I cower closer to my friends afraid of what was happening. He stands up and grabs my wrist and I cry out as I look back to my friends who are giving me worried questioning looks. I follow him to some corner as he rounds in on me and traps me in the small space. However I know that I tower over him and could escape if needed.

“You, meet me here at ten o'clock tomorrow.” He says in a harsh whisper. The edge in his voice scares me because ever since I was younger I have always been afraid of other peoples anger. Just by someone yelling at me I would burst out into tears. I nod my head furiously to ensure that he wouldn't lash out at me. I was speechless and for someone such as me to be speechless was nearly impossible.

I walk into a building that looks like an apartment and go to the room number and knock softly and the door opens to Chanyeol who gives me a once over before giving me his signature smile before letting me in. When I make my way through the entry way and slip off my shoes and finally look up I am taken aback by the twelve set's of eyes on me and whimper slightly backing away into the door.

“Come here please.” Xiumin says and I cautiously walk closer wondering what was about to take place but I was too timid to say anything. My voice was caught in my throat and I felt like a child who was caught in the middle of doing something horribly wrong and that I was going to be punished for it. Instead he stayed seated beside Kris and Suho who both looked at me curiously.

“You're that girl who gave me this am I correct?” Xiumin asks handing me a piece of loose leaf. I read it once and smile down at it fondly happy memories floating back to me.

“Read what it says out loud please.” He asks and I widen my eyes at him, I was confident in my writing abilities but public speaking was never my forte and having them all watching me made me nervous.

“Dear Kim Minseok

As a child I dreamed of many things I would like to be however those were fantasies of a child's imagination and as I grew older I had to face reality. I had to become an adult, even if it was sooner than most kids my age. I was only fifteen at the time when I was introduced to Kpop, at such a young age I was quite impressionable and my heart was quite weak due to misfortunes in my childhood. I had suffered greatly due to personal issues involving my body however in my senior year that all changed for the better because of one specific person. I had never been impacted so thoroughly by someone I had never met before. When you cried I cried, and when you smiled I smiled. It was a strange phenomenon, but throughout the years as I watched your hard work and dedication for your work become increasingly large I was amazed. I had only ever had one role model or inspiration in my life and that was my deceased grandfather who helped my mother from a dire situation. Well you helped me survive my dire situation, you gave me the motivation to be me, to shine. I worked my hardest and studied to be what I wanted to be most. I want to be a teacher, I want to give children the opportunity to learn English so that if they ever visit a country like Canada where I am from they won't be ostracized for their language barrier. I believe that everyone deserves to have a friend and if possible I want to make it so that is possible for them. You made me more passionate about life and in the process I saved many people just by trying my best. I am proud to be your fan because you aren't perfect and you have your flaws and you know that and you work on them. I have never been more proud than anything to be your fan.

Love with all the sincerity in the world your fan

Isabelle Keyes.”

I looked up at them and most of them smiled at me however Minseok still had a frown upon his face.

“Tell me Isabelle, why did you run away during that fan meet?” He asked me looking up at me with a solemn expression and I turned my face away feeling all the embarrassment from that day wash over me yet again like a tidal wave set on destroying everything in its path.

“I was ashamed of myself. I was ashamed of what I looked like, I hated it. I hated being the way I was.” I said full of anger and sadness as the tears washed down my face. He looked up at me with a sad expression in his face.

“That's what I was afraid of.” He whispered.

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Well I don't know what to say, I guess it all came from a dream I had last night. I felt the need to share my dream because honestly who knows maybe someone can relate to this, I also just wanted to give the Xiumin readers something a little more as well. ;D I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE, okay? I would be extremely grateful.

Love

♥Heartonheart♥

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