Busan, South Korea

June 15, 2013

I wanted to find my own way in life, so after much discussion with my parents I finally persuaded them to let me travel alone from my home in Los Angeles to my grandparents’ house near the sea in Busan, South Korea. It took nearly two months to convince them; you’d think that I was three by the way they were so overprotective of me, but believe it or not, I’m actually 20 years old. To outsiders, it seems like no big deal. Kids leave home all the time and go off on adventures. Well, not in my case. This victory, albeit a small victory, meant everything for me. This trip marked the beginning of the rest of my life, however long or short that might be. Before I left for the airport I bought a few blank empty notebooks to document my journey, the progression of my disease. As I sit in the sand in front of the beach, these notebooks lie scattered around me.

I became insanely ill four months ago back in LA. Since then I’ve had literally no time to myself. My disease seemed to strike at the most inopportune time; right after I walked the stage at graduation my world started crumbling down. I had noticed that I became clumsier than usual, tripping over carpet edges and then eventually over nothing. Then the cramping in my hands and feet started up, followed by bouts of exhaustion. In May I had received the best and worst news ever in my life. The best? I had been accepted into New York University. The worst? I had been diagnosed with ALS; Lou Gehrig’s disease. I had literally been given an expiration date, anywhere from 2-5 years seems plausible. Needless to say, I turned down NYU. There didn’t seem a point in going, seeing as I would probably die right after receiving my degree.

For about a month my head was in a cloud of darkness, but then I woke up. Well, if I was going to die, so be it. But I wanted to spend the rest of my time doing the things that I had wanted to do. I had dedicated so much of my time to studying in hopes of getting accepted to a good university. I felt as if I had missed out on so much of life. Although I was dying, I figured now was the time to start living. And so that’s why I decided to travel to Busan. I wanted to see the place where my parents had grown up. I wanted to experience a bit of my own culture that I had never experienced.

Sometimes I can’t help but think that my time in Busan will amount to nothingness. I’m here, but there’s really not much for me to do. I don’t know anyone but my grandparents, but they’re pretty old and incapable of going out much. But one thing I have come to like is spending time here on the shores; the quiet gentleness of the sea breezes are much more soothing than the loud bustle of LA, that’s for sure.

My grandfather had been waiting for me outside of the house that he shared with my grandmother when I had arrived mid-afternoon after the long, grueling flight from America to South Korea. I could tell by the way his body tensed that he was shocked by my appearance, but tried not to show it by forcing on a warm smile. It had been years since he had last seen me, but the last time he saw me I was healthy. Now my skin was a more pale shade of white and my eyes were sunken in as if I hadn’t slept in weeks.

“Aron,” he said in Korean, “it’s good to see you.” He hugged me and ruffled his hand through my short, shaggy brown hair. This was something he had always done even when I was a kid. Although my grandfather was a frail, elderly man, somehow I felt skinny and small next to him when I had never before in the past. Before I could say anything, he took my suitcase and began to walk inside the house. I removed my shoes at the door and followed him.

Although my grandfather was friendly enough, he seems the type of man who’s more at comfort when alone. I felt kind of hesitant to enter inside their home; it felt like I was intruding and disturbing the tranquil world that he had built with my grandmother. But maybe everything seemed like this because I was so unfamiliar with the Korean culture. Maybe this was how normal, everyday interactions played out in South Korea. I would have never known. My grandfather stopped in front of a vacant room inside their house. He gestured for me to go inside first where I complied and he returned my suitcase to me.

“Go ahead and unpack. I’ll meet you outside in twenty minutes to show you around.” He replied then curtly left. I knelt down on the floor and ped my suitcase, removing a few articles of clothing. I had only brought the necessities; my parents would be sending the rest of my belongings through air mail later. After I finished I made my way to the front door and glanced around outside for any trace of my grandfather.

 My grandfather’s house stood on the side of the road. Across from the road was a path leading down to the beach. The entire house was surrounded by a bamboo fence, I imagine protecting their garden. Their residence was rather huge, though, I bet the cost of the place was nothing compared to a single month’s rent back at my parent’s apartment in LA. The place was nice enough though; I found the garden very soothing. As soon as I stepped out into the garden on the side of the house I was enveloped in the sweet, intoxicating perfumes of all the different plants and flowers. A large silk tree, heavy with orange blossoms seemed to shade both the house and the entire garden. To the side of this tree stood a medium-sized oval pond that seemed to dominate the entire left side of the house, reflecting the hints of light that struck it. A small wooden bridge had been built across its width; I imagine that was the work of my grandfather.

“You must be tired. Ready for a bath?” My grandfather’s voice called out to me, taking me by surprise. I had been so caught up in the beauty of the garden that I had been lost inside my own little world. I raised a brow at his question. Was this a normal question that Koreans asked each other? Back home in LA no one bothered asking one another when they wanted to take a bath. They simply just jumped inside the shower whenever they wanted to. I slightly nodded my head as my grandfather motioned for me to follow him. He led me out to the back of the garden behind the house that was covered with several trees. On a wooden platform sat a wooden tub with a small black door underneath it, where coal and fire were used to warm the water inside. To the side of the tub sat a stool, bucket, and washcloth.

My grandfather motioned for me to undress. It goes without saying that I was indeed uncomfortable with undressing in front of him. This just didn’t happen back in LA. Guys didn’t just undress in front of guys, regardless if they were your grandfather or not. I was embarrassed, but he wasn’t paying any attention to me. Instead he focused his attention on heating the water. I hesitantly began removing my clothes, one by one then sat at the stool, where I took the soap and washcloth and scrubbed my entire body. I took the bucket of cold water and dumped it over my head, rinsing myself repeatedly until all of the soapy bubbles had left from my body. This was definitely refreshing after a long, stuffy 13 hour flight across the ocean.

“Go in quickly.” My grandfather pointed over towards the tub, still not paying any attention towards me. “The water is hot, so go in quickly and remain as still as you can; it’ll help you relax faster.” He said. Feeling rather self-conscious, I stood up and walked towards the tub, where I stepped inside quickly as he had told me to do. Steam rose and some of the water splashed out over the rim. He was right; the water was scolding, but when I sat still, I found that my body was able to adjust more easily to its temperature. I leaned my head back against the rim of the tub and closed my eyes; this felt calming. I heard my grandfather chuckle from the distance.

“City kids. They’ll never know what they’re missing out on.”

June 16, 2013

After my bath the other night I had managed to pass out almost immediately after changing into a new set of clothes. I had only intended to take a small nap, but apparently the exhaustion from the flight mixed with the general fatigue of ALS knocked me right out. I had fallen asleep on the bedding that my grandmother, a woman of little words and of equal silence as my grandfather, had rolled out for me. When I had woken up, I found a small metal tray lying beside me with a pot of tea and some rice cakes that one of the two must have brought for me.

My stomach grumbled, but I knew for a fact that regardless of how hungry I was that I could barely eat. It’s not that I didn’t try, it’s just whenever I actually put food into my mouth, regardless if I swallowed or not, the feeling of hunger disappeared. This was probably how I had managed to become so thin in just a matter of a couple of months. I finally brought myself to sit up, as I did so I felt a sharp jolt of pain in my shoulders. Although my grandmother had placed several layers of blankets beneath the bedding down on the hard wooden floor, my back was as stiff as a board. I wasn’t used to sleeping on the floor; I was an American. We slept in beds. I never realized how much I had taken my bed back at home that I had complained so much about before for being ‘uncomfortable’ for granted.

I finally managed to stand up, using the walls as guidance before sliding open my door. My grandmother was in the kitchen at the cutting board, the sound of her knife quickly gliding across the surface echoing down the hall. I walked quietly past her without her taking notice of me; she seemed to be inside her own little world and I didn’t want to disturb her. I took this time to take note of everything that I had missed the previous day before crashing out. The main room was a decent size, its floors lined with tatami mats. If there was anything that stood out, it was the lack of furniture inside my grandparent’s home. Regardless of the emptiness, the house was spotless. I chose to believe that my grandfather took enormous pride in the garden outside while my grandmother took pride of the cleanliness inside.

Across from the living room was what I presumed probably to be my grandfather’s office, or study. I entered inside of it to find a low-set wooden desk placed on the floor. Large, yet neat piles of books lined all four walls of the office. It didn’t surprise me that my grandfather was a man that liked to read; he was too quiet not to be. I exited his office rather quickly for fear of being scolded for being inside a place I really had no business being inside of. Further down the corridor was my room, and across from that their room. My room was simple enough; there’s a low sitting table and a cushion inside where I can get most of my writing done. I was determined to write for as long as I had use of my hands. I wasn’t going to let ALS completely take over my life while I still had some sense of control.

My grandmother had prepared a traditional Korean breakfast. Don’t ask me what it was, for I had absolutely no idea. I simply just ate it, or, what I could of it. Food was food, necessary for energy. Plus I didn’t want to be rude and offend them. Luckily my grandmother understood that I could only eat a few bites and she didn’t hold it against me. During breakfast I tried to hold a conversation with them with my poor, sixth grade Korean literacy level, which only resulted with several nods and grunts from the both of them. It was awkward, to say the least, but at least I tried. Of course, I didn’t have a problem understanding any of what they were telling me. I understood Korean just fine, seeing as my parents spoke it all the time back at home; however, I usually responded to their comments or questions in English. I realize now that I found myself in South Korea that I probably should have put forth more effort into learning my parents’ native language.

After breakfast, I excused myself, grabbed my notebook then headed down to the beach with the cool of the early morning wind sweeping across my face and through my hair. The road across from my grandparents’ house was empty. It seemed like the whole town was still asleep, though, it was still early. The quiet seemed so strange, so foreign to me. The beaches back in California were always packed, regardless of what time of day it was. It was always so loud. But here… silence. It goes without needing to be said that it would probably take some time to adapt to this kind of quiet. I never realized before how silent… well, silence could be when you’re alone. I had never been alone like this before. I had always been surrounded by my friends or my family. Now here I was in a foreign country as an independent man, with the exception of relying on my grandparents for the basic necessities.

I sat down in the warmth of the sand and stared out into the blue-green sea before me, listening to the sound of the waves slapping against the shore. As time passed, I felt my body start to drench with sweat from the hot of the sun. I pulled off my shirt, leaving my shorts on and left it with my pair of flip flops and notebook in a neat little pile on the sand before quickly walking up to the water. The cold of the water sent chills down my spine; finally I decided to just leap into the water rather than to painfully walk into it. Leaping proved to be a far better idea. My body quickly adjusted to the freezing temperature of the water and eventually the coolness felt good against my skin. A sense of freedom, along with relaxation swept through my body as for a mere moment in time I seemed to forget about all my troubles, pains and worries. I didn’t feel like a dying ALS patient. I felt like Aron Kwak, a normal, healthy 20 year old.

This bout of relaxation was short lived as my thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of voices further down the shore. I lowered myself in the water to try to hide. Why? I have no clue. Perhaps it was out of instinct; I was after all in a whole new, mysterious side of the world for me. I was surprised to see two guys around my age laughing and playing around in the sand. They didn’t seem to take notice of me or my neat pile of belongings that I had left on the beach. The taller of the two, the brunette, was chasing after the shorter, blonde haired one. I momentarily wanted to yell out to them as I was actually kind of happy that I had discovered other people my age around here… I had assumed that this place was more or less of a retirement village for old people… but I refrained from doing so as I remembered my Korean wasn’t the best. The last thing I wanted to do was insult them with my poor Korean grammar.

After a long morning at the beach I finally returned back to my grandparents’ house, where my grandmother shoved a bowl of ramyun my way. Thank goodness; something I actually recognized. Although this ramyun tasted differently from the store bought type I had grown accustomed to eating back in LA. Of course, that was probably factory made, while my grandmother’s on the other hand was home-made, made from scratch. I was surprised to see the world of difference it made just by making it by oneself. Once again I ate what I could manage and thanked her for the meal. My grandfather, who had gone missing for the entire half of the morning, finally returned carrying several small packages. As he spotted me sitting in the living room in front of my half-eaten bowl of ramyun he gave me a slight bow before carrying his packages into the kitchen. When he came back out I stopped him.

“Grandfather,” I called out to him in my poor Korean tongue. “Can I ask you something?” Regardless, he seemed to understand me and he nodded. Maybe I wasn’t half as bad as I thought I was. “Are there… younger people here in this village?”

“There aren’t many, but yes. Why?”

“I saw two guys about my age at the beach this morning.”

“Hmm…” He grunted as he sat down. “The neighbor boys, I presume. They’re always causing some sort of loud ruckus. It’s best to ignore them.”

“Really?” I asked. “Are they troublemakers?”

He scoffed. “No, they’re just loud. The innocence of youth, I suppose.”

“So there’s nothing wrong with them then?”

He raised a skeptical brow at me. “Why? Want to befriend them?”

“It couldn’t hurt.”

He smiled. “Oh, to be young again.” He replied. “I won’t stop you.” I smiled back at him before returning to my attempt to eat the rest of the food place in front of me, my thoughts still on the guys that I had seen earlier. Maybe next time I could work up the courage to talk to them.

June 20, 2013

I can’t believe that it’s already been a week since I’ve arrived here in Busan; it feels like I’ve been here much longer. Since there’s not much to do out here, the days seem to drag on rather slowly. Of course, my grandparents don’t help much. They’re nice enough people, but they always seem to hold back when it comes to conversing with me. Maybe in their eyes I’m just some foolish kid from America with no sense of manners or culture. Or maybe they really are just quiet people; I’ll really never know, at least, not in the time frame that I’ve been given to live. Although they’re more receptive these days to my attempts at conversation, still not much is known to me about either one of them other than what I had heard from my parents in stories in the past.

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen those two guys from the beach again. Each morning that I’ve been here I go out to the beach at the same time with hopes of seeing them; however, my efforts have been in vain. I wonder where they went?

June 29, 2013

Today a package came for me in the mail; it was from my parents. They had sent me all my favorite junk foods that I used to enjoy snacking on back in the states, as well as several magazines and of course a letter. Seeing as it was a warm day, I decided to sit outside in the garden near the pond that my grandfather had built by himself as I partook in the eating of my Cheetos while I read through their letter. I found myself laughing at my actions; I felt like some sort of child opening a gift on Christmas morning. My mother mostly asked me questions about my health and if I was doing alright and offered to come visit me whenever it was possible. My father simply asked about my financial situations, like if I still had enough money and that he would send more if needed. All I would need to do is send him an email and he would wire over the money. I wasn’t surprised by the lack of concern in my father’s words. He had always been like this. Although he didn’t express his emotions well, I still knew he cared.

As I put the letter down I couldn’t help but feel homesick. I missed the familiarity of my parent’s apartment and downtown LA. There I knew where everything was. Here… well, I knew nothing. Rather than viewing Busan as the place of freedom that I had originally thought, now I was starting to view it as sort of a prison. I felt trapped behind the bamboo fence that surrounded my grandparent’s house and my grandfather’s garden. I found myself questioning how I ever thought that coming to such a place could be so liberating when it was indeed the opposite.  

I leant my head against the side of the house and closed my eyes. I felt tired today, more so than usual. Maybe it was because I was bored. As I felt myself start to drift off into sleep, I suddenly heard rustling sounds coming from beyond the fence. At first I thought it was probably my grandfather meddling around in the garden, but it was then that I realized that these noises sounded a lot like whispering. I snapped my eyes back open and stared out at the fence to see two shadows passing by on the other side. I quickly managed to stumble onto my feet and hurried over to the fence as I realized that these two voices belonged to those guys that I had seen on the beach the other day. By the time I got to the gate though, they were already far down the road that separated my grandparents’ house from the beach. I had lost my chance to try to speak with them.

July 29, 2013

It’s been a while since I’ve last written. It wasn’t because I couldn’t write; no, I still have full function of my hands, thank God. It’s just that nothing of remote interest has happened, nothing worth writing about at least.  Every day it was the same old routine; I’d wake up, pick at breakfast with my chopsticks while my grandfather disappeared like he did every other morning, and then I’d go down to the beach in hopes of seeing those two again. So far my attempts have gone by fruitless. I questioned whether or not I should waste my time with the same routine again, but then I figured that I might as well. It wasn’t like I had anything else to do.

I kicked my flip flops to the side as I walked across the white sand on the beach shore, wiggling my toes in its warmth. Today was a perfect day to be out on the beach. The air was breezy, the sky was a pale blue and the sea was calm. I pulled off my shirt; once again the beach was empty like it always was this early in the morning. As I was neatly placing it down over my shoes on the sand I paused when I heard the sounds of laughter that I had been waiting for so long to hear play out some distance farther down the shore. When I glanced up I saw the two guys from weeks ago steadily walking towards me. As they approached I decided to play it cool and I sat down in the sand, pretending to be catching up on my sun rays. Thank goodness for the sun; when I had first traveled to Busan I was paler than a ghost. Now I seemed to have a more natural glow to my skin, despite still being sick.

I don’t know why, but my heart was pounding with every step that brought them closer. The shorter blonde haired one obviously caught my attention first. Well, it wasn’t that he was necessarily short, per say, but when compared to the giant standing beside him, he appeared to be shorter. Granted, the two of them were still much taller than I was. If it weren’t for the fact that he was shirtless I definitely would have mistook him for a girl; as odd as it sounds, he was just… pretty. I didn’t know it was physically possible for another man to be so pretty, but this guy nailed it. As for the taller one, the brunette, he was quite a looker as well with his sharp, cat shaped jaw and small eyes. He wasn’t pretty like the blonde was, but that didn’t make him any less attractive.

The blonde grabbed the brunette by his elbow before stepping behind him as if for protection from me, the stranger sitting on the shore of the beach. The taller one simply smiled and continued forward, stopping once he finally approached me. I scanned my mind for all the right Korean words that were appropriate at a time like this. I slightly bowed my head.

“Hello.” I said politely in formal Korean.

The brunette’s smile spread even wider; I caught myself being entranced by his mere presence. “Hello.” he replied back.

“My name is Aron Kwak.”

The two shared inquisitive glances with each other before the brunette spoke once again. “My name is Minhyun; Hwang Minhyun.” He said then pointed at the blonde beside him. “This is Ren; Choi Ren. He is my neighbor.”

“Oh, so you guys do live around here!” I exclaimed cheerfully, forgetting my manners. Ren glanced over at Minhyun and giggled, placing his delicate hand over his mouth.

“Where did you learn Korean? Are you special?” Ren asked. Minhyun shot him a dirty glare.

“Excuse my friend. But yes, we live further down the road.”

“I’ve seen you guys around here before.”

Minhyun smiled. “It’s possible. We come here often.”

Ren tugged on Minhyun’s arm. “Come on, let’s go, we’re gonna be late!” He urged. I raised a brow at this. Were they headed somewhere? Minhyun gave him a shocked look as if had forgotten about their previous plans.

“You’re right! We’re so gonna be fired… .” He replied, slapping his hand across his forehead.

“Fired…?” I asked.

Minhyun pulled his hand away and flashed me another smile that rendered me speechless. I glanced off to the side in embarrassment. “That’s right; we work over at that sea shack riiiiiight over there!” He exclaimed then pointed. I glanced over in the direction he was pointing at and spotted an average sized restaurant over by the side of the beach further down. “We gotta go. It was nice meeting you, Aron was it?” He asked.

I nodded. “Can we talk again?”

He smirked. “Sure, come visit us any time.” He quickly replied before chasing after Ren who had taken off running towards the sea shack. I watched as Minhyun’s slender form gracefully ran along the side of the beach. The breeze of the wind brushed through his dark brown hair, revealing the delicate features of his face. If I hadn’t known any better I would have thought that he was some sort of model. I hadn’t met several younger people yet; maybe they were really just average lookers. Maybe Korea was a country full of beautiful people and I just wasn’t aware of that fact yet.

After spending some time in the water I finally turned back to my grandparents’ house. As I walked inside the garden my grandfather called out to me. He had been sitting over by the oval pond underneath the shade.

“How was the water?” He asked; I was surprised that he had actually taken the effort to speak to me first.

“Cold.” I replied. “I finally got to speak to those two guys I told you about before.”

“Ah, the loud ones?”

I smiled. “Yes, grandfather, the loud ones.”

He laughed. “It sounds like you were captivated by them.” As he said this I paused. It was true that they were both stunning, however, one of them stood out the most of the two, and that was Minhyun. Maybe it was because he was much friendlier to me. Ren definitely didn’t seem interested in talking to me.

“Please; we barely spoke.”

“You’ll see them again.” He replied.

“You think so?”

“Busan is only so big.”

“I hope to see them again.” I said when in reality I really couldn’t care less about Ren. I was a firm believer in first impressions and that guy didn’t leave the best image with me. He would probably have to work extra hard just to change his tarnished image already implanted inside my mind.

“And you will.”

August 24, 2013

It turned out that my grandfather had been wrong about me getting to see Minhyun and Ren again. The same night that I had held my first conversation with the two I ended up feeling sick and was bound to my bed for about a month. Only just now have I had the proper strength to manage to write something without my hands trembling too much from my ALS. I had been feeling down lately because of my inability to go outside but this morning I finally managed to make the trek outside into the garden. I closed my eyes as the warm Busan air swept across my face. When I opened my eyes, to my surprise I spotted Minhyun standing on the other side of the gate holding a woven basket, smiling brightly at me. I made my way over towards the gate and opened it.

“Hey there, Aron.” He warmly greeted me. “Longtime no see.”

I nodded and glanced behind him. “Hey.” I greeted him back. “Where’s Ren?”

“Oh, Ren’s probably already down at the shack.” He replied then pouted. “You know, you never came to visit us. Ren thought you must have ditched us.”

My eyes opened in shock. “Ditched? Never!”

Minhyun laughed. “Truthfully, Ren seems to be a little intimidated by you.”

“Me? Why?” This was news to me.

Minhyun gave me a look-down which resulted in making me nervous. “You’re obviously not from around here. Your clothes and accent are a dead giveaway.”

“I see, so that’s why he was…”

“Was what?” Minhyun smiled.

“Err…” I scratched the back of my head. “Well, rude.”

Minhyun laughed loudly. “Oh, he’s just like that. You’ll get used to him.”

“I doubt it…” I nervously replied. “So what brings you here?”

He blinked. “Oh, right. We heard from your grandfather that you were down with something, like the flu or something… He didn’t say what it was. Anyways, I thought I’d stop by and bring you this.”

I glanced down into the basket and saw that there was a small pot with a lid over it. Minhyun took this moment to remove the lid, revealing a white gooey liquid with… well, I don’t know what else was inside this mysterious concoction.

“Um… what is it?”

Minhyun chuckled. “Oh, you’re funny. You’re Korean and you don’t even know what this is.”

“I was born and raised in America.”

He looked at me with excitement in his eyes. “Woah! That’s so cool! You’re an American! Wow!” He exclaimed before finally settling down. “This right here is called ‘sam gae tang.’”

“Sam… gae… tang?”

“It’s a sort of… chicken soup?”

“Ah! Chicken soup! I know this!”

Minhyun nodded excitedly. “Anyways, warm it up before you eat it. It’s best to fight a cold by eating warm foods in the warm weather.

I smiled back at him. “Thanks, man.”

“Hey, no problem! I need to get going now before-”

“You get fired?”

“Heh. That’s right.” He replied then held the basket out to me. As I reached out to take it my hand was visibly shaking, definitely catching Minhyun’s eye who knew nothing of my ALS. I quickly took it from him.

“Can we speak again?” I suddenly asked, catching him off guard. He gave me a sudden startled look before returning to his normal smiling face.

“You want to?”

“Sure. I mean, I’m new here. It seems whenever I do run into you, we barely have time to speak as it is…”

“Busan isn’t that big; I’m sure we’ll see each other again.” He replied hurriedly, glancing over his shoulder. I knew he had to go and yet here I was, keeping him.

“I meant like a specific time. Can we meet?”

“Hmm… I think I can do tomorrow morning, where we first spoke on the beach.” He replied cheerfully before he quickly waved and took off running down the side of the road without waiting for me to wave back. I smiled as I felt a sudden sense of anxiousness and excitement about getting to meet with Minhyun once again. There was something about his happy-go-lucky personality that seemed to go so well with me. But I was also excited about the mere fact of finally making a friend here in Korea as well.

August 25, 2013

The next morning I arrived down at the beach way before Minhyun was to arrive. While I waited I found myself thinking several times that he might not even show up. Why would he? He barely knew me. Why would he make time to meet some strange foreigner? I’d admit I’d be a little hesitant to as well. I continued to walk along the ocean shore, dipping my toes into the cool water while the waves came in calmly. I glanced out into the sea, shielding the sun from my eyes with my palm. A distant splatting noise caught my attention. When I glanced off to the side I spotted Minhyun running along the wet sand, waving his arm around in the air like a maniac with a huge smile plastered across his face. I glanced behind him and found no sign of Ren’s presence. I couldn’t help but feel relieved… but why exactly did I feel relieved? That was the confusing part.

“Aron!!!” He exclaimed, happy to see me. I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Hey there, Minhyun. Sorry to make you run out here so early.”

“No way! I’m the one that’s late!”

“Well, I’m still glad you came.”

“I had to make sure Ren didn’t follow me.” Minhyun boldly replied.

“Ren?” I asked, shocked to hear this sudden confession.

Minhyun suddenly pouted. “Unless… you wanted to talk to Ren too? I can go back and get him if you want-”

“No, wait-”

Minhyun laughed. “See? It was just me that you wanted to talk to. I was right! Ha ha.”

We ended up taking a long walk along the ocean shore. It wasn’t much, but it gave me some time to try to get to know Minhyun, my new friend, just a bit better. I had to admit though, I was more at ease than Minhyun, who kept glancing over his shoulder every other minute to check and see if Ren was anywhere to be found. It took a good while before he finally felt relaxed enough to quit. When he did look away I managed to steal a glance at his smooth, milky white skin, something I found odd for someone who came out to the beach as often as he did.

“Did you eat the sam gae tang?” He suddenly asked me.

I nodded. “It was really good; thanks.” I replied, even though I had only managed to stomach about three to four spoonfulls.

“I hope it helped you feel better.”

“I already feel stronger.”

“I’m glad.” He replied, kicking at the wet sand with his bare feet. “Hey, Aron?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” I asked.

“What’s it like… you know… living in America? Where did you come from over there?” He asked rather shyly, completely throwing me off. I smiled at him.

“You mean Los Angeles?” I asked; he nodded. “Aw, man. It’s noisy and crowded, but at least there’s always something to do there.”

“Do you miss it? You’ve been here for quite a while now.”

“Sometimes, but not at this very moment.” I absentmindedly replied. He gave me a wide eyed stare before quickly shifting his gaze off to the side. After feeling the awkwardness in the air between us I finally spoke back up. “So have you always lived out in Busan?”

Minhyun nodded. “Yeah. Born and raised right here. Ren too. We’ve always been friends and neighbors…” His voice trailed off as he realized what time it was. “Actually, I should be getting back now. Ren will wonder where I am and come searching for me.”

“Is he your keeper or something?”

Minhyun froze for a couple of seconds before forcing on a smile. “No, but he won’t like the idea that I came to meet you alone.”

I raised a brow. “Really? And why is that?”

“Sometimes… it’s best not to ask questions that you might not want to hear the answer to.” Minhyun replied then we both kept silent. I wondered what he meant by that. Did Ren… dislike me? I glanced over to try to read the expression written on Minhyun’s face but he was too busy kicking at the sand in front of him. I walked Minhyun up to the side of the road until he stopped and slightly bowed to me. “Thanks, Aron, but I can take it from here.” He didn’t want me to follow him.

“Sure?”

Minhyun chuckled. “It’d probably be for the best.”

“Are you afraid to be seen with me or something?”

“Yes; Ren might see.” He answered.

“Oh.” I quickly replied. “Can we meet again?” As I asked this Minhyun flashed me a warm-hearted smile, one that strangely made my heart beat faster. I glanced down at my own chest; what was going on? Why was I being like this?

“Of course. If you come down to the restaurant, that is.”

“We’ll see.” I replied, unsure of whether or not I wanted to find myself in the company of Ren who probably hated me for some unknown reason. Minhyun waved to me.

“I hope so. I look forward to it.” Before I could reply to his last string of words Minhyun quickly spun around and ran down the side of the road, disappearing into the village. At that moment I had to fight against my many emotions building up inside of me. I wanted to see Minhyun again; there wasn’t a doubt about it. I had to bite down on my bottom lip to prevent myself just from calling out his name. What was going on with me?

Later that night, after much internal debating I finally made the decision to go up to the shore shack. It actually took quite a lot of courage just to show up, knowing that the blonde inside the restaurant probably hated my guts. But I wanted to see Minhyun again. There was just something about him that I couldn’t escape from, not to mention I didn’t want to let him down. He seemed to want for me to visit. I’m sure spending every day working at the same place and seeing the same faces must have been boring or tiresome. Maybe my presence there would be a sort of refresher.

As I stepped inside of the rickety wooden shack I heard the floorboards creek. This obviously grabbed the attention of all of the servers behind the bar. Without looking to see who it was, both Minhyun and Ren called out in synchronization.

“Welcome!”

As Ren glanced up and spotted me he wore a shocked, stunned expression on his face. “A…ron…” He listlessly said, grabbing Minhyun’s attention who wildly spun around with a tray in his hand. His face lit up like a child’s.

“Aron! You came! Welcome!” He greeted me enthusiastically.

Ren pushed past Minhyun rather rudely and approached me from behind the bar. “Can I get you anything?”

I raised a brow. I was surprised that he of all people actually wanted to take my order. I waved my hand at him. “I’ll pass. I actually just came by to see-”

“Oh, come on, don’t be a stick in the sand. Order something; it’s on the house.” Ren oddly smiled at me. Why was he being so nice to me all of a sudden? Was he trying to change his first impression on me? Maybe Minhyun had told him to settle down back in private.

“Really, I’m okay.” I replied.

“We actually get off soon, in about 15 minutes. As you can see, we’ve got a full house so it’s rather loud in here, if you want to wait outside for us?” Minhyun said from beside Ren behind the bar. He leaned across the counter and whispered into my ear. “The boss only allows paying customers inside; sorry!” He sounded apologetic in his voice. I smiled and nodded.

“Got’cha. I’ll be outside then.” I replied, waved then made my exit. As I waited outside I leant against the wooden railing that surrounded the entire shack and peered out into the night ocean. The sparkling white stars twinkled up in the black sky like a melody. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the relaxing waves. Time must have escaped me as I drifted off into an imaginary world. It was amazing how being out here by the ocean helped to take matters off of my mind. Although I had felt trapped out here when I first arrived, I had to admit that I would have never felt this relaxed back at home in LA, let alone if I had decided to take up NYU’s offer. Maybe the peace and silence of Busan was all I really needed. Maybe coming out here wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

I suddenly felt someone tap my shoulder from behind. I was surprised when I opened my eyes and turned around to see not Minhyun, but Ren standing before me. He smiled nervously as our eyes met. After a few seconds had passed he finally spoke up.

“Hey, Aron.”

“Ren.” I awkwardly replied. I was a little disappointed. He wasn’t the one that I had expected, or rather, wanted to see.

“I’m glad you finally stopped by to see us.”

“Really?” I asked in disbelief. Ren seemed to shyly nod.

“Do you like it out here?” He asked, stepping beside me and leaning against the wooden railing like I was. I shifted my gaze out into the ocean once more.

“I do.”

“It’s really calm out here, isn’t it?” Ren said, once again doing the same as I was. “I’ve lived out here all my life. I don’t know anything else that’s out there. Just here; just this little place off the shore of Busan. I’ve never traveled like you have. What’s that like?”

I shrugged. “It’s nothing special…” I replied. Honestly this was my first trip that I had ever taken and most likely the last one that I would ever take. I didn’t really know what it was like to travel so much, but I suppose this was one more trip than Ren had ever taken. “This place is like… a dream, I suppose.”

Ren looked over and smiled at me. “Really?”

“Yeah. It feels so… surreal being out here. I never would have thought my life would take me out here, to Busan of all places.”

“That is true… what brought you here, of all places then?”

“Just… life, I guess. I wanted to see and experience with my own two eyes how my parents grew up.” I said, only halfway lying. I didn’t want to tell him I came out here to die. How depressing would that be? Plus I barely even knew the guy.

“That must be a nice way to live. I can’t imagine ever leaving this place.”

“I suppose. Where’s Minhyun?” I finally asked; Ren looked kind of irked that I brought him up.

“He’s still cleaning up inside.”

“Shouldn’t you be inside helping him then?” I asked.

Ren smiled. “He’ll be fine…” His voice trailed off as he pried himself off from the railing. “Hey, Aron?” I glanced back over at him.

“Yeah, Ren? What’s up?”

He suddenly reached over and grabbed at both sides of my face, leaning over and crushing his lips forcefully across mine. I stared at him in wide eyed silence after he finally pulled away and nervously released me, scratching the back of his neck. What just… happened? Did he just… kiss me? My thoughts were in a fumbled frenzy. I couldn’t believe what he had just done to me. My long silence must have made him uncomfortable.

He shyly glanced back up at me after having been staring at the ground for so long. “Aron, I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but… I like you…” He confessed.

“…” I remained speechless, not knowing what to do or say in such a situation. I don’t know what suddenly possessed me to do this, but I happened to glance off to my right where I spotted a sullen Minhyun standing in in the doorframe of the entrance into the shack. He seemed to have a pained smile written across his lips. “Minhyun.” I called out with even wider eyes, if that were even possible. Ren gave me a shocked look and then followed where my eyes were and spotted him as well. He seemed to give Minhyun a bitter look as if for interrupting.

Minhyun pursed his lips together. “You guys…” His voice trailed off for a few seconds before he finally spoke up again. “That’s great. Congratulations.” He replied darkly before throwing off his apron and quickly exiting the shack, storming down the side of the road by the beach by himself.

“Wait, Min-” As I was about to go after him Ren reached out and grabbed me by my wrist, stopping me from doing so.

“Can you accept my feelings?”

I paused, shaken up. “W-what?”

“Aron Kwak… can you accept my feelings?”