Wizened leaves, impetuous winds, and cold laughter – today seemed like a fine day to die.

Meet Gan Eunwoo, the female individual which no longer had the will to live any longer due to her own reasons. It was the third of January, just a few days after the New Year’s celebrations. Now, she had gone with her parents to join in the auspicious occasion and wrote down the customary New Year’s resolution. While others had a plethora of them to accomplish, Eunwoo only had one in mind. And only one had she even penned on that forbearing surface.

New Year’s Resolution – To commit suicide successfully.

Irony. Truly, for when she succeeded to do so, the homosapien herself would not even know of it. Shaking all unnecessary thoughts aside, the nineteen year old student blankly stared at her rather empty surroundings. Eunwoo took in the fair scenery of the place for one more time before she swiftly made her way towards the bridge that overlooked the deep river. Her slender hands, they were already tightly gripping the bridge’s railing when her eyes descried an apparent object neatly placed on the bridge’s deck. Out of curiousity, she decided to read what it mentioned.

“Hello there!” was what the note mentioned in a rather scrawly handwriting. “If you can read this, let me just tell you one thing. Don’t jump.” Her eyes widened when she realized what the sender intended to say. If she wasn’t mistaken, it would mean that someone had caught her in the terrible act. Eunwoo gulped, feeling slightly disturbed and decided to take hold of the paper. The student turned it around, but saw that there was nothing else written on it aside from its initial message. Her eyes narrowed at the messy scribble of words, aware of the fact that the paper was not doused with rain or anything. It would probably signify that it was done approximately a few minutes before her attempt. Though confused and perplexed, Gan Eunwoo returned home for the day, taking it along with her.

Being one who had already long contemplated and firmly decided on committing suicide, she returned to the very same bridge at an earlier time for executing it. However, she was stymied by the note once again. Another one had appeared in the same place once again. Now, Eunwoo knew that she could just jump off even if people were watching or something, but she didn’t intend to get saved. And to do something like that required the absence of human attention. At first the student found it to be considerably amusing, since it would appear like someone cared and that the said person was trying to prevent her death. But when her appointed time of passing away prolonged to a week, the only daughter of the Gan household was extremely irate.

The female sighed as she walked up against the bridge’s railing, and saw once again that the note was there. She found it to be absolutely absurd. Eunwoo picked up the small piece of paper and tore it to shreds due to sheer frustration. “I suppose that it would be good to reveal who you are by now,” exclaimed Eunwoo aloud. “I must say that you’re not leaving a good impression of yourself.” She felt like a blatant fool, considering the fact that the premise was quite deserted and it was probable that the preventer wasn’t around right now. With aberrant grace, Eunwoo waited for one more minute and then shrugged when there was no response. Her hands clenched the railings tightly, and just as she was about to cross the other side, a projectile made contact with her head.

It took all she could to refrain from cursing and instead Eunwoo groaned, rubbing the afflicted part of her head. After doing so, she squinted at the object that harmed her. Well, if one wanted to describe so in dramatic terms. It was a paper aeroplane, one that wasn’t exactly folded deftly, but the shape still remained prominent. The tip of the paper was obvious blunt due to accidental contact – or was it on purpose? – and the student assumed that there might be something embedded in the creases. The inquisitive female opened up the aforementioned item carefully and true enough, there was a short message within. “If you’re so interested, then you should go to the park during the evening tomorrow,” was the words written in the paper. “I assure you that I’ll be there.”

She frowned slightly at that, deciding that finding out who it was wouldn’t harm her at all. It only made her extremely exasperated, however, when she realized that her school days were beginning the next day. Secretly, Eunwoo already loathed this anonymous hindrance. The next day, the student made her way to the said park after her arduous school hours. Her observant eyes scanned the place for a potential candidate to fit the apparent requirement she had in mind. Who was thwarting her personal death trap? How mean. It was then, as she stood on the flattened grass with a dubious look when a voice chimed in her ears. “Looking for someone?” chuckled the voice. And somehow, that made her feel utterly ridiculous. She looked around warily. “Don’t you dare hide now…” mumbled Eunwoo to herself. Like a comedic act, a crumpled up paper ball hit her head from a random direction.

“Such nerve!” was what her thoughts had echoed rather angrily. Nevertheless, she tried to keep her cool and cautiously opened it. “Three rules,” stated the words plainly. “One; bring that nearby bench approximately ten steps away from you to the brick wall. Two; you are to remain seated on that bench. Three; don’t come over to my side.” She stared at the words for a little while before reacting. It sounded so preposterous! Even so, the student complied because she did want to find out who it was, weird or not. She closed her eyes as she pushed the apparent bench towards the wall, wincing mentally due to the unwanted attention. Perhaps people thought her to be daft. The wooden bench chanced to ram into the vertical structure because she wasn’t exactly looking, and so it produced an alarming creaking sound. “… You might want to take good care of that,” remarked the voice. “It would be quite poor if it breaks upon our first meet.”

Eunwoo’s eyes opened instantaneously upon hearing the other’s utterance. “Oh, hello!” said Eunwoo a little too gleefully, having forgotten that she despised this individual just a few moments ago. She sat on the bench, and her back leaned on the wall when she had spoken. Doing so had given her a wondrous view of the park. “Ahem, anyways,” added Eunwoo in a sober mien. “Why are you doing this?” The person paused before giving out a cheerful laugh. “I think I need friends,” said the person in a sprightly manner. At that, she rolled her eyes at the homosapien’s attempt to evade the real question at hand. She clenched her fists, tempted to just walk away from the person then and there.

“I mean, leaving those notes for someone who obviously wants to die,” said Eunwoo deliberately with an obvious tone of frustration. “Can’t you just leave me to be?” The person from the other side of the wall seemed to be contemplating. Or not, for the person gave a rather childish answer. “Nope, I can’t just do that,” remarked the individual bluntly. The student waited for the human to add a few more words after that initial statement, but none ever came. Deciding that she couldn’t wait any longer for some silly person, Gan Eunwoo stood up and began making her way around the corner. And a huge sound of things being messed up was heard when the person had realized Eunwoo was coming after them.

The nineteen year old student didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she saw the messed up pavement and no human lingering in her sight. She sighed softly, perhaps out of the tiniest bit of pity in her. “… You promised that you wouldn’t come around,” said the person lamely from the impending corner. Her ears caught that immediately, and she took a step forward. However, the person must have heard of her intentions. “Oh come on,” continued the person with an ounce of despair. “Don’t do so.” A small smile appeared on Eunwoo’s face for the first time in a long while. “I didn’t promise, actually,” she remarked. “You’re on the losing end for trapping yourself.” There was a definite pause, for maybe the person was even contemplating as to what to do now. Then she actually laughed. “… Hello, Mister Shy Guy,” proclaimed Eunwoo with a feeling of triumph. “It’s hilarious to meet you.” “… I never said I was a guy,” protested the person poorly. “And I’m not shy.” Nevertheless, that evening was filled with Eunwoo’s convictions and she actually managed to forget her suicide mission for a little while.

There is an adage that often reminded the human population that the only thing that is constant in a world like this is change. Perhaps that was true, as Gan Eunwoo was getting through her days without even a chance at executing self-murder. There was something about the anonymous person that made her return to the park whenever she could. Maybe the change involved the fact that she was craving for human closeness; warmth in a way she had never recognized. Was it because of these that she found herself at want to take her own life in spite of irreversible consequences? Perhaps. But the female had more reasons than that – if it was relevant – to bring such a thought in her mind in the first place.

And like every ordinary human, Gan Eunwoo had her days. Some in which she felt that maybe things were starting to look up for her, and then times where she would bitterly conclude that she would never see the sun again. Of course, that was meant in a proverbial way. In time, Mister Shy Guy often gave her gifts and notes – she had to admit that his writing became so much better in time – to cheer her up. At first the person often complained, saying that she shouldn’t assume that he was a guy but she preferred it anyway. She was convinced, really. They were superabundant, but there were a few that definitely stood out to her. Eunwoo allowed herself to be lost in the impending flashbacks.

It was one the last days in the month of January when she spoke angrily about how she didn’t have a life that she wished she could live. It would sound rude and spoilt to most, but there was more than she would allow to be heard. Eunwoo mentioned about her over-ruling parents who laid out her every plan and decision that was to be made in her entire life. Mister Shy Guy, in response, had remained dutifully silent during her rant. He was one that eventually became a counsellor, in a sense. “And people don’t understand how more and more teenagers commit self-destruction and execute vagabond,” she mumbled tiredly, her face strained. She buried her head in her hands when he had uttered a mere word.

“Catch.”

Innately, the female looked up and saw a cube-shaped object being thrown from the other side of the wall. Half-freaked, Eunwoo stretched her hands above her head and gingerly caught it. Warily, she eventually lowered the object in front of her and saw that it was a Rubik’s cube, left in a disordered manner. “… And what am I to do with this random thing?” asked Eunwoo dryly, the frown marring her features. She heard a laugh that bordered impertinence. “Solve it,” was what he had said. Thinking that there was nothing better to do, she genuinely tried to fix it to its proper colours. Obviously, she failed dreadfully. “Have your piece back,” muttered Eunwoo sourly as she threw it back, since she was already having a bad day.

Gan Eunwoo zoned out as her vacant eyes stared at her surroundings, ignorant of the steady sound that accompanied her. Eventually, the Rubik’s cube was thrown over once again and it landed neatly in front of her feet. “I could have gotten hit!” exclaimed Eunwoo exasperatedly. He too, had a protest in return. “I did call out to you,” was what he said mildly. Shaking her head, she then picked up the fallen object. Her eyes widened when he had solved it perfectly. “Just because you can’t see the answer or reason behind things now, doesn’t mean that you won’t make it,” began Mister Shy Guy lightly.  “I don’t guarantee that your life will be perfect, but I’ll say that things will start looking up sooner or later. Trust me.” And thanks were all she could offer to her companion that day.

Later in February, the ever celebrated Valentine’s Day came around. Eunwoo had arrived rather soberly at the park, mentioning lightly about how she never got stuff. It wasn’t like she wanted to be the most liked or something, but the student couldn’t help but feel that it would be nice to be appreciated – to be thought as someone likable; pretty. “Sorry,” chuckled Eunwoo airily to Mister Shy Guy. “I suppose this would be boring and annoying you. You might as well leave or something.” Words, though they were spoken carelessly, weren’t exactly voicing out her actual intentions. Somewhere embedded in them was her expressing the slightest bit of thanks for even listening. But now she might have probably driven him – well, or her since she still didn’t know – away. What surprised her immensely was when a small bouquet of flowers landed on her hands. Her eyes shone, suddenly feeling embarrassed for no reason. “… Thanks,” uttered Eunwoo softly. “I didn’t know… I mean. I think you understand.” She grinned, however, before adding another line. “Now I know that you’re a guy for sure,” was what she said. Only then did the other speak for the first time that day. “Nope,” was what the other replied. It didn’t matter, she was still convinced.

Then her birthday had arrived – and truly, this particular incident was amazing. For Gan Eunwoo had not told Mister Shy Guy of her special day at all. Well, maybe she did, but probably only once. She was sitting on the familiar bench as usual when he warned her severely to catch something properly. “Talk about pressuring,” feigned Eunwoo with a small smile. It was during the rare moments that she was able to sport an expression of sincere happiness on her face, no matter how fleeting. A laugh escaped the other and she heard the faint sound of an item being tossed. Gingerly, she tried her very best to catch it. The female student felt the soft texture of the object and nearly dropped it due to surprise. She was then able to descry at that time that it was an adorably decorated cupcake with the words ‘Happy Birthday’ on it. “How did you know?” asked Eunwoo in astonishment, feeling secretly pleased. “Thank you, really.” It seemed like the phrase she often used in this particular year. “… A special day should never be forgotten,” was the vague reply. “Don’t question me.” And so she didn’t.

It was about the month of August when Gan Eunwoo was having a severe mental breakdown. “Mister Shy Guy, are you there?” was what she had uttered desperately and despondently as she sat on that bench. “You know – it doesn’t matter anymore. No matter how much I try, no matter how much I reason… nothing’s worth it. My life’s a mess. What’s one more going to do to it? I might as well just… disappear.” Being a rather impulsive girl, the nineteen year old was quick to stand up. However, the softest of voices was able to calm her; even it was only for a little while. “Wait,” was what he had uttered. “Take a seat.” Thinking about how nice this faceless person had been treating her for the past few months, she then complied. She kicked against the ground lightly with a poor expression.

“Press your index fingers and thumbs together to make a diamond shape,” he reasoned. “Yes, I know it sounds silly. Just do it, nevertheless.” His instructions, though pertaining to simplicity was understandable. She carried out the aforementioned step. “Now,” he said clearly. “Look at that faraway board. You can’t see anything coherent, can you? So try now by looking through that tiny space between your fingers.” She squinted considerably to even fit her line of sight through it. She was, however, quick to sound her findings. “I see a few words!” exclaimed Eunwoo. “I think its promoting waffles or something.” She laughed for a few moments, finding it amusing and somewhat magical since it was the first time she had ever done something like this.

But her companion wasn’t laughing along like what he would usually do. Instead, he spoke. “Picture this,” was what he had said. “Like the faraway board, one’s life is quite similar. Look at how blurry and messy it seemed to be. But when you focus on one thing at a time, things actually appear to be much, much clearer.” Mister Shy Guy had paused, breaking into an abrupt chuckle afterwards. She contemplated on the other’s words, realizing that he was telling her to take things slowly. Even if they were torturing and unfair at times. She slowly became aware of the fact that he knew so much, and she knew so little. The female had only one thing to ask of.

“Why do you care so much?” was what she managed to articulate. A sigh rolled along in the gentle breeze and in the mildest mien, he answered. “Life is precious, Eunwoo,” he began. “Many people don’t realize it though. Some people want it but they don’t get it. And I know of a person who is dearly missed by the family members.” He paused to take a breath, and continued. “A year ago, there was a person who had the same objective as you – committing suicide,” said Mister Shy Guy. “The difference, of course, is that the person succeeded and you didn’t because I stopped you. Or tried, at least. The body was never found, and a small mourning ceremony was to be held every year during the person’s birthday in loving memory. Of course they weren’t allowed to do such a thing during New Year’s, you see.”

The sound of something scraping the soft ground was heard. “They say it brings the mood down,” said Mister Shy Guy. “Of course it would – are they ridiculous? It’s death that we’re talking about.” She knew he was being serious because he actually used her name. He did so very sparingly, and the times he did were definitely ones to take note of. She quietly took the time to absorb his words, and decided that maybe she wouldn’t be taking her life anymore. Just maybe. “… Do you miss that person?” asked Eunwoo lightly. Surely, he must have known that person somehow to know of this apparent case. The most heart-breaking tone was used in response. “Extremely.”

Time flew by like a breeze, and more meaningful encounters with Mister Shy Guy were undeniable. Nevertheless, it was a few days after Christmas, 30^th of December to be exact, only then could she make her way to their usual meeting place – the park. She chuckled lightly, the smile adorning her face as the snow fell. It was a chilly night, but Eunwoo made it a choice to try her luck to meet her faceless companion once more before the New Year. “Mister Shy Guy?” wondered Eunwoo aloud. “Are you here?” A voice that sounded rather tired answered her positively. She smiled, able to prattle about the Christmas celebrations and everything that happened as of late.

“That’s good,” murmured the other. “Sounds like you’ve been having a good time.” She grinned, making a twirl in the snow-covered ground although her companion would not be able to see it. “I’ve changed a lot this year,” admitted Eunwoo. “You made me realize that it is possible to pull through no matter how terrible the circumstances. I tried my best, and I guess it isn’t too shabby after all.” She smiled slightly at her next thought. “Thanks to you, my next New Year’s resolution is going to be so different!” exclaimed Eunwoo. “It’s been 364 days since this one, and I don’t intend to fulfil it anymore. I have a long list now. … Mister Shy Guy, can you please reveal yourself for once?” She held her breath while she waited for the other’s response.

“Don’t be disappointed,” was all the person had said when for the first time, the person had stepped out from the brick corner willingly. Her eyes widened as her line of sight landed on him. Mister Shy Guy ended up being a real guy. He had tousled hair, and his stature was admirable. He wore a polite and rather stiff smile. He also looked around the age of twenty-two. “Hello!” whispered Eunwoo excitedly. “Thank you so much for all that you’ve done!” Perhaps he was shy, for he only nodded slightly at that. Her hand, they reached out for his to shake it when she froze completely.

Her hand went right through his.

Eunwoo’s eyes widened immensely, waiting for a plausible explanation. Her mind was in a birl. “… Why?” asked Eunwoo so very softly. He took that opportunity to wear a bitter smile. “Like I had said – don’t be disappointed,” said the male a little sourly. “I’m not deceiving you though. I was your Mister Shy Guy or whatever you wanted to call me all this while.” Eunwoo choked back her fears and spoke once more. “How…?” was all she could ask of, however. The bitter smile of his only widened across his darkened features.

“I used my own willpower to inflict wordings and such on the paper,” said the male. “No matter how ridiculous that sounds, it is the truth. If you had noticed, Eunwoo – my writing improved over time because it got easier. As for the gifts, the same concept applies.” He laughed dryly as his eyes flickered to hers. “I must say that I don’t regret helping you out, however,” whispered the boy. Gan Eunwoo could only stare at him and realize an undeniable fact. His words had barely registered in her mind. “It wasn’t your friend who killed himself, wasn’t it?” rasped Eunwoo. “It must have been you. You must be… Lee Jaejin. I should have recognized you the moment you revealed your appearance.” His regretful eyes tell it all, him being the very spirit who felt bad for his indelible and irreversible action that brought such consequences to his living family. His lips quivered as a sound escaped the crevice of his windpipe.

“And now you know.”

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This chanced to be an idea I planned to write, but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to... Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! ^^

I hope it wasn't too predictable.