My heart that has no words slowly starts to move my feelings. I'm holding back the tears, I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart to a place that is neither close nor far - where a different me stands. I will not cry.

Though it seems stupid, we’re always together. The pain that I want to let go dries the tears that flows through my body.

I'm living with my tears, I run adding to the weight of my faith to a place that is neither high nor low - where a different me stands again. With a small smile I can laugh, I forgot when it started. I don't know why I'm like this.

A day seems so long and doesn't seem to have an end. How does another morning come? I don't know.

I can't do anything. While not doing anything, I look at the slow time. Where are you? What are you doing? Because I only think of one person, and that is you.

I know I shouldn't be doing this, I know that I can't love you. It will make me go through more pain, I know.

Even though I know,I can't do anything. I can only think of you, of loving you.

If I close my two eyes or open them again, I can only think of one person. I just think of you.





As soon as the door swung open, he felt his heart sink. "Welcome home Chunnie." he mumbled a greeting, a smile forming his lips albeit forced. There he was, in all his glory, Park Yoochun, his lover, with a girl clinging on to him like her life depended on it. Without greeting him back, Yoochun walked past him and he could feel tears sting his eyes.

It was the fourth time that week that Yoochun brought someone home and as usual, he could only pretend that everything was fine. That it was nothing out of the ordinary. He knew that any attempt of talking his lover out of his bizarre hobby was futile so he stopped trying as soon as he started.

His already broken heart broke into a million more pieces as he passed by the guest room hearing moans and screams. He knew what was going on inside. It's what usually happens. Yoochun and the bird he's pulled don't even have the decency to keep it down. But then again, why would they care if he heard them. They could only care less about what he feels. Whatever Yoochun's reason is for being so cruel, he has yet to find out. Gritting his teeth in anger and frustration, he kicked the door of the said room and marched his way to their bedroom.

Slamming the door shut, he pulled out his phone and dialed a familiar number, laying down on his stomach. "Hello, Min."

What's wrong, Junsu yah?

Hearing his best friend's voice calmed his nerves a little. He pursed his lips when he heard an unamused chuckle from the other line.

Why am I even asking. He's at it again, isn't he?

If there's one person who knew what was going on between him and Yoochun, it was Changmin. The man could read him like an open book. He knows if there's something wrong and the moment he sensed that something was off, he pestered Junsu until he told him the truth. As expected, Changmin went ballistic and demanded Yoochun's to be cut off immediately. No one hurts Junsu, no one.

I'm going to come over.

"No." Junsu replied too quickly. "No need, I'll be okay. I don't want to bother you."

You aren't. You know that.

"It's fine, Min. Really. I just want someone to talk to. I don't...I don't want to hear them." The last statement came out like a whisper. Changmin sighed.

I know I've asked this countless of times but Junsu yah, why don't you just break up with him?

"I can't. I love him."

Does he love you?

"Changmin..."

Damn it, Junsu. All I'm saying is that he's being insensitive and unfair. And besides, there are other guys out there who love you and are willing to take care of you.

Junsu found himself chuckling, knowing where the conversation is headed to. "Like you?"

Yes. Like me. Junsu, you know how much I love you. I just can't bear seeing you hurt.

"Changmin ah, we've talked about this one too many times." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to reject his best friend over and over again. It hurts him as much as it hurts Changmin. "We can't. We can't be together, you know that. I love you but not in that way."

But I can treat you better than Yoochun can. Changmin tried to reason out. He'd do anything just to convince Junsu how better he is than Yoochun in so many ways. He doesn't even care about you and your feelings and yet you still stick with him? I just don't get it.

"You don't have to get it."

Fine. But don't forget. Once you break up with him, you're mine.

"Okay Changmin ah. Whatever you say. But I assure you that it's never going to happen."

I hope so.

"Oh really now?"

I wasn't being sarcastic. I meant it.

Junsu smiled, suddenly wanting to hug his adorable friend. "I know. And thank you, you're the best. I have to go now though. Good night."

Night. I love you, Su.

"I love you too."

"Is it fun talking to him?" He need not ask to know who it was. He turned around and saw approaching him with a glare. He gulped.

"Yoochun ah..." He sat up, suddenly feeling uncomfortable when Yoochun sat beside him. Yoochun smelled like . It was disgusting. Junsu frowned hard. "Chunnie..." he trailed off, itching to ask his lover the question he's been wanting to ask for a long time. Why? But as soon as Yoochun looked at him, he decided against it as he's scared that the man would get angry. "Nothing. I'm going to sleep now." He mumbled, laying back down the bed. He felt the bed dip and arms circling around his waist. He tried to bite back a smile. "I love you, Yoochun." he said. But as usual, Yoochun did not respond.





Junsu woke up to a sleeping Yoochun beside him, a smile unconsciously forming his lips. He traced the man's features lightly with his finger, careful not to wake him up. Yoochun should sleep more, he told himself. Because a sleeping Yoochun wouldn't hurt him.

"Am I that handsome?" said man's voice startled Junsu out of his wits.

"Oh Chunnie you scared me!"

"Did I?" Junsu replied with a nod, rubbing his chest. Yoochun chuckled and kisses him on the lips which made Junsu smile like a fool. His happiness was short lived when Yoochun's phone rang. He prepared for his heart getting broken for the umpteenth time. Junsu's jaw dropped when his loverput it on speakerphone. The nerve! "Hello. Oh Yuri babe, what's up?"

I wanna see you Yoochun oppa.

"Sure. Later then. Bye."

"Who was that?" Junsu found the confidence to ask as soon as Yoochun hung up.

"A friend."

"A friend. But you caller her babe."

"Yes. I'm aware of what I said. Does it matter to you?"

"Of course!" He couldn't help but raise his voice at the pathetic man that is Yoochun. "I'm your boyfriend!"

"Exactly. You're just my boyfriend." Yoochun spat before storming out of the room leaving a stunned Junsu who just closed his eyes and took deep breaths. No, he's not going to cry. He-- cried, burying his face in his palms as he cried his heart out.

What a perfect way to start his day.