Changhyun was always protective, a sense of responsibility over jonghyun since he was the elder. However there were countless times where the one who did the protecting was changjo, just like today. So silently it rips ricky apart as he shut himself silent in his room and sleep with wet tearful pillow. Whereas changjo too always felt like he failed, to protect ricky from the scars and scratches. It seems the more protective his big warm hug were, deeper the cuts changhyun had to bear.

They were lost. They found a path that was sweet and loving but the path was uncertain, so simply like that. An ounce of fear and doubt, choi jonghyun and yoo changhyun had lost their way.

But the night was still young and time still ran slow. So even with uncertainty tainting his steps, jonghyun walked into the room and wiped ricky’s cheek clear from tears. Pulled the covers and ran his hand over the boy’s fluffy hair, smiling wide as he watches the elder sleep.

Then gliding his hand over to ricky’s hand, he held changhyun tight as he sat beside the snoring elder.

“hmmph.. what are we doing changhyun’ah.”

“you cry, I smile. We’re doing all sorts of crazy and it hurts like hell”

“still…. Lets just stay this way. I don’t mind being insane if you’re with me so…”

Pressing his soft smooth lips on the top of ricky’s hand, he had made a sweet promise. To stay and to bear just a little more. When ricky unconsciously answered changjo’s promise as the boy pulled his entwined hands with changjo close to his chest and grinned even wider.

“pfft… you..mmble…better talk..taglsh…to me tomolo”

“that..pabbo”

Probably dreaming of jonghyun, ricky’s spit was all over the pillow but still, it made jjong’s heart flutter and definitely made it bloomed enough for him to put away his anger.

“aishh… im so washing my hand tomorrow’s morning. Gnite, ‘hyung’”

So with his hand trapped between changhyun’s pillow and the boy’s chest, changjo folded up his left arm and slept at the side of the bed. It was indeed uncomfortable but it was snug and safe as they both waited for a brand new sun to shine.

When it was finally bright and the hyung line voices were bouncing off the walls, ricky slowly opened his heavy lids. Squinting at the bright sunlight pouring in from the window and like a child the boy scratches his hand. When he realized that there was another warm big hand beside his nose. The hand looked pale blue, probably squished too hard by his chest and hand. The boy swung the covers aside, only to find himself biting his own lips, restraining a big wide smile on his face.

Jonghyun was sleeping like a baby at the side of the bed. With his black hair puffed like a bird nest and saliva stain on his pink cherry lips. The long dark eyelashes and the sound of the boy breathing had made changhyun’s heart blossom with bliss. It was a sight that brought a long sigh and a tilting head into a wide satisfying grin.

Then the boy snuggled closer to jonghyun’s face and closed his eyes.

“This beautiful moment, let me have it for a little bit longer”

“I love you maknae yah…..”

With a subtle peck on changjo’s lips, ricky pulled himself even closer to jonghyun’s face and shut his eyes tight. Maybe with their forehead slightly brushing against each other, they’d dream of miracle and see a path that would lead them to happiness.

Holding hands and never letting go. That was their lesson and they learnt it well. That it was fine to waver and be scared but as long as their hands are locked together, they can go a bit further.

And it can be a heartfelt journey that would raise them into loving and fearless adults.

So why not, hold hands?