Holed up in the apartment alone. Alone.

We can get through this together, Baekhyun. We can. 

Don’t. I want to leave. I want to leave.

Chanyeol whined, hands creeping up to cover his ears, rocking back and forth in a corner. Pearly, translucent hands gripped his own, but Chanyeol refused to look up into the eyes of Byun Baekhyun.

Chanyeol, look at me. Please. I want to leave, but you’re not letting me leave. Please will you please stop loving me?

“I can't.” Chanyeol tried and tried for Baekhyun’s sake. He tried dating other people, but one by one, they left. Kris couldn’t stand his insecurities, and so he stopped seeing Chanyeol with the classic ‘it’s not you, it’s me’, tactic.

Glamorous model Kai was someone that Chanyeol never would have thought possible. He was way out of his league, but it had happened anyway. Unsurprisingly, Chanyeol was dropped like a hot potato the moment Kai had hooked up with an arrogant prick by the name of Sehun.

It didn’t matter to him though. He tried to let go of Byun Baekhyun and failed miserably, and now it’s all his fault that Baekhyun is stuck in this world, suffering. Because a certain Park Chanyeol wouldn’t let go of his memories, effectively anchoring Baekhyun and being his burden.

Please Chanyeol please please please. I’m tired.

Valentine’s day in Seoul.

Couples filled every restaurant, spilling out onto the streets and overcrowding the city. Oily chocolates and flowers that reeked of perfume and beauty products were ugly reminders that Chanyeol was being selfish.

If you truly love me…

Chanyeol would have let him go but he wasn’t able to. The guilt that radiated off him in waves was easy for Baekhyun to notice, and the shorter man had sighed heavily.

You’d be doing a favour for the both of us. 

But without Baekhyun, what was he? A shell. A fool with no aims in life. A child drowning in the ocean, flailing his way through life. If he’s going to sink without his life vest, how could he let go? A dying man holds onto the only thing that he has with an unbreakable grip. You’d have to break his bones to loosen his hold.

Chanyeol didn’t want to lose Baekhyun all over again. It’d be like reliving that day in the hospital again, three years later, when everyone thinks that he’s already gotten over it.

He’s done a good job putting up a façade, but Valentine’s Day is one day he cannot forget.

“Flowers for your girlfriend?” The florist beamed at him.

With trembling fingers, he took the bouquet from her, and stifling a sob, he shook his head. “Death anniversary,” he managed to choke out. Ignoring her shocked expression, he turned away and strode down the street, not wanting to acknowledge the look of pity that she directed at him.

Don’t. Don’t do this anymore. Stop visiting. Leave, leave, please leave. Let go. 

Chanyeol smiled wanly as he put the bouquet at the foot of the gravestone. White petals blowing gently in the wind.

“All right. I’ll stop visiting. I’ll leave.” He could hear Baekhyun’s sigh of relief, carried by the wind.

A mere breeze to the rest of the smiling couples celebrating their love.



“It was completely out of the blue.”

Black clothing, flowers everywhere. The sweet musky scent of white carnations and large yellow sunflowers mingled in the air along with the hushed chatter of people.

Silence fell as a man stepped up to the podium.

“We gather here today to commemorate the sad passing of Park Chanyeol on February fourteenth, 2017. A cheery, young man with a promising future, he has touched the lives of many…”

A tall man with unkempt brown hair stood in a corner of the room, arms crossed across his chest and leaning against the wall casually, watching the procession with a smile on his face.

It’s a strange feeling, Baekhyun, to be invisible to everyone else.

Oh, Chanyeol…

A man of small-build stood next to Chanyeol, shaking his head slowly.

I told you to let go of me, not to join me.

Chanyeol turned his gaze on Baekhyun. Well, it would never have worked. I couldn’t. I just wonder why I didn’t do this earlier. It would’ve saved us a whole lot of trouble.

Chanyeol! I never asked for this. I wanted you to be able to move on.

Hey, don’t be mad. At least we have the same death anniversary. We can celebrate it together! Like a joint birthday party or something. 

Not funny, Chanyeol. I hope you know what you’re giving up. I’m not worth it, Chanyeol. I’m not.

Bull. choices, Baekhyun. You saw how I was like without you. It wasn’t much of a life. It’s been too long…

If you peered closely enough, maybe you might be able to see a slight shimmer in the corner as Chanyeol leaned down to brush his lips against Baekhyun’s. And maybe, just maybe, you might have been able to hear the soft chuckles that merged with the wind that carried hidden voices.

I’ve wanted to ask you something for a while, though.

What.

Hey are you still mad? I’m sorry, Baek. But, it’s better for the both of us like this, anyway. 

Baekhyun huffed and crossed his arms, and Chanyeol rolled his eyes.

Stop being so dramatic, Byun Baekhyun. Won’t you be my valentine?

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This was initially written to be posted on my Livejournal, but I decided that it wouldn't hurt to continue posting my fics up here. Do check out my LJ! That will be most of my fic activities will be on from now on. :)