Before you read this story, please look up Nell - Ocean of Light

It'll help set the mood when you're reading this. It's a really good song as well! Hope you enjoy!

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I can’t help it at all.

I tend to forget what’s real and what’s not real.

Everything seems to be my reality.

It’s because it is something that makes me smile.

I like to lose myself in my own world.

My imagination.

Everything I lift a pencil or paintbrush, I create my own world.

Fiction is my friend.

Drawing,

Writing,

Painting,

My world is there.

When I lift my pencil,

I sketch a fictional world.

Line after line, it first becomes so unclear.

It looks like a bunch of pencil scratches on paper.

But I know exactly what I’m doing.

As my hand flawlessly continues scratching up the paper, making a combination of lines and curves here and there.

The pencil just keeps moving.

Not wanting to stop, I continue to draw

The proportioned arms and legs, long yet proportioned with the torso of his body.

His shirt being my most favorite style: casual collared tee.

And the perfect casual pants. Not being too fancy with his outfit.

I seek that in a guy.

I like a guy that is casual yet has a sense of fashion.

His hands. Perfectly large yet masculine. I want these hands to hold me close.

His hair has to be messy. Just plain messy. I don’t care about if it’s groomed, it just tells me he doesn’t care about society he just likes to be natural.

And best of all.

His smile. Drawing out the perfect smile is difficult since I think everyone has a beautiful smile, but I somehow managed to find the perfect one for his figure.

My pencil in my hand stops. I, too, take a deep breath at my masterpiece.

I built myself the perfect person.

He looks flawless.

It’s just as people say. A picture can say a million words.

But can you tell his personality just by looking at him?

When I lift my pen to write,

I write out my pain.

Late nights, I tend to write uncontrollably, wanting everything that I kept away in my deep heart spilt out on paper.

Words signify different definitions

Different words combined could create a sentence that could tell a person how they feel about the world.

And depending on the types of words used in the different sentences, a person could decipher what’s actually happening to a person, even tell a whole story.

But it’s hard to see the truth or the lies.

Happy or sad,

Funny or devastating,

Words are words. A story is a story.

Uncontrollably writing,

My hands can’t stop writing in this secret journal that I’m sure no one in this world will ever read.

As I write, I could see it before my eyes.

His back is facing me now.

So cold. Unknown to me.

What was once familiar to me, became a stranger.

My lips are shaking, hands reaching out to him.

“Why are you leaving me?!” I cried out.

He slowly turns to me, giving me a stilled face. His blank eyes of unfamiliarity stung my heart.

No answer from him. I bit down my lips, in hopes my lips would somehow stop the tears.

“ANSWER ME!” I grabbed a cup off the living room coffee table and threw it against the wall in front of him.

Glass shattered before him, both liquid and glass flying everywhere.

My heart was beating like a beast, feelings of both anger and panic rose. I didn’t want him to leave me. Not again.

My eyes filled with hatred right now, tears running down my face.

“I…feel like we both live in different worlds…” he mumbled, as he looked at me.

Then I realized, a piece of glass nicked him across his perfect cheek.

I shut my eyes, feeling stupid and disgusted right now. “Different worlds? How!? I thought you understood me!” I angrily yelled.

He looked down ashamed.

“I can’t satisfy you anymore. I just can’t,” the tall man stood there, fist clinched.

I ran up to him, fists hitting his undefined chest, crying, “How dare you! How ing dare you! I love you, you ! I ing love you! I STILL LOVE YOU! You’re words are a bunch of lies! I hate you!”

He allowed me to continue on, releasing my anger on him. At one point he soon wrapped his long arms around me, as I cried and cried.

Getting weaker and weaker, he held me close to him.

“Are you leaving me again?” I mumbled in tear soaked shirt.

But there was no reply. He only held me and kissed me from time to time till I fell asleep.

And the next morning, he was gone. Wiped away from my memory.

Forever.

I could feel my heart aching.

Memories needed to be written down. Both the good and the bad.

Words mean a whole lot to a person. Especially to myself.

Was I able to predict this future when I fell for him?

When I lift my favorite paintbrush,

I could depict feelings or wants in one . Even both.

I feel at ease when I paint.

Gently picking up my paintbrush I begin to paint once more.

Mixing colors,

Primaries: Yellow, Blue, Red

To make Secondaries: Green, Purple, Orange

Even different shades of color with the simple uses of both white and black.

Sometimes different parts of the world can only see just black and white. But there are people in this world that can see the gray shades as well.

For me, I wish to see every aspect of this world.

Both the good, the bad, and the middle.

Dipping my paintbrush in two colors: blue and white, I create this beautiful cerulean blue and began to paint a on my unfinished canvas.

Thinking.

Wondering.

Exploring my imagination.

I leave it up to my mind to allow me to continue on the mental image of open scenery.

So wide and beautiful.

I just want to dive in and never be found.

As if my arms and hands were like the waves of a quiet ocean and sway  some paint onto the canvas.

Having so much in my mind, I just want to be free.

Be free to do as I please.

Each of this unique blue gives the eyes a different texture of this realistic reality.

This realistic scenery.

The more I paint this, the more I want to forget the reality and become one with this painting.

Feeling satisfied with the newly defined waves on my canvas.

I’m almost done.

Washing my paintbrush in the dirtied paint water cup swish swish  

I grab my bush brush and dip it in my pale yellow sandy color and began to dab at the sea like bottom that’s near the end of my canvas.

Feeling an overwhelming ease when I look at this.

I could just dive in and lose sanity and become one with the sea.

I diligently paint shades of sunlight into my scenery bringing my painting to life.

I smile as I finish the last to complete this masterpiece. The perfect scenery.

I felt large hands cover my eyes as soon as I placed my paintbrush down.

My lips curled up, smiling goofily.

My ears are still listening to Nell’s “Ocean of Light.”

The headphones that were once on my ears pulled off as I could hear a gentle fun whisper. “Guess who?”

I played along with him. “Hmmmm. I don’t know!” I acted confused.

“Come on! If you guess, you’ll get what you want~” he teased me. I smiled happily, “Anything?”

He chuckled, “Yes. You know I never lie.”

“Changminnie~” I smiled, pulling down his hands and turning to him.

He smiled, “THAT’S RIGHT! Ding ding ding!”

Changmin pulled me into his arms, lovingly.

 I laughed.

“What are you painting this time?” he asked me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

I looked at my canvas.

“It’s beautiful, babe,” he complimented, giving my cheek a gentle kiss. I nodded, “I know.”

“Do you have a title for it?”

I thought about it.

“Hmmmm…. ‘My Imagination’,” I answered without any hesitation.

He looked at my confused. “Why ‘My Imagination’?”  

I shrugged, “It just came to mind.”

“You’re so cute! Come on, babe! It’s time to head out to dinner! Remember we’re supposed to meet up with the others!” Changmin pulled me up, taking off my headphones completely.

I nodded. “Okay, let me clean up,” I let go of his hand as he pouted. “I’ll be there! Don’t worry!”

He nodded as he left my art studio. I looked at my painting. It’s still missing something. I thought it was complete.

But some reason, I can’t help but think it’s missing something…

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rukia1335 is BACK!

Hope you liked this one shot!

Let me know what you think about it!

It's been a while since I wrote and felt like writing.

I would love to read some feedback!

take care! :D