And here I am once again, spending the night alone in my apartment.

It's been weeks since the last time I've seen my boyfriend, Kim Jongin. I understand, he's an idol and he has to practice for hours before coming home, but I've not talked or seen him in weeks, not in person anyway. It's as if he's been avoiding me on purpose, as if he doesn’t love me anymore, as if this was his way of saying 'Let's break up'.

I sit in the living room watching tv and eating chocolate ice cream, once again, on my own.

Then I see his face on the tv – he smiles and looks happy, like how we used to be. I turn the tv off and go to my bedroom, ready to spend the night crying myself to sleep like how I did every night for the past couple of weeks. As I get under the covers and sink my head into the soft pillow facing the wall, I can hear the front door open. 'Could it be him?' I thought as I lied quietly in the bed. After a few minutes I can hear the bedroom door open, a person lies beside me and puts their arm around my waist. 'it must be him'. I can smell his cologne and feel his hot breath at the back of my neck.

'So Jung' he quietly whispers, careful not to wake me up. 'I’m sorry' he says and tightens his grip around my waist. I slowly turn around and he stiffens, probably surprised I’m still not asleep. 'Jongin?' I whisper softly, still wondering whether I should ask him or not, trying to stop myself from breaking in front of him, not wanting him to see how weak I am. 'What is it love?' I can hear the worry in his voice.

'D-Do you...still...love me?' I finally let it out, waiting patiently for his answer as he sits up, looking in front of him right into the mirror. I mimic his actions, sitting up...and wait for his answer while studying his face. The face I've missed so much. Now I can see how tired he looks, dark circles and bags under his eyes say it all, even the way he sits looks as if he was about to fall back down and fall asleep on the spot. He then suddenly turns around looking at my face, catching me staring at him. He motions for me to look at the mirror. 'Do you see this person over there?' he says as he points at his reflection in the mirror. 'Yes, that's you' I say, confused as to what this has to do with my question. 'This person over there is the luckiest person on earth. Do you know why?' he asks again this time looking straight at me.

'Why?'

'Because he has you. The most amazing and loving person anyone could ever find. The most beautiful and caring girlfriend I could ever wish for, or anyone could ever wish for. I get all that and what does she get in return?' he says deeply looking into my eyes.

I missed his beautiful dark brown eyes so much, I keep staring at them but then I remember his question.

' I don't know. What does she get?' he turns around again, looking at his reflection then down at his feet, hiding his god like face.

Did I say something wrong? Was I supposed to answer differently? It confuses me even more when I hear his soft sobs. He's crying. It's the first time I’ve seen him like this, the first time I've seen him cry in real person, not on tv.

'She gets nothing but loneliness, sadness and disappointment.' he said, his voice cracking as the tears are still flowing from his beautiful eyes, down onto his cheeks and chin. I move closer to him and embrace him in a tight hug, rubbing his back for comfort. After a few minutes he quiets down and I let go of him. He cups my face, caressing my cheeks as I speak.

'You're right. She gets sad and lonely, but never disappointed. She loves you and cares for you and as long as she knows that you still want her and no one else, she'll always be there for you, to support you, to cheer you up and to comfort you'.

I then look in his eyes again. His face gets closer to mine and his lips plant a delicate but full of love kiss on my lips. I put my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss as he puts his arms around my waist. He then pulls away, his face only inches away from mine.

'I missed you...a lot' he then plants a quick peck on my lips. 'I missed you too' and as a response I peck his lips too, making him smile a little. 'You look tired, let's go to sleep' he says quietly and lies down pulling me with him, placing my head on his broad chest covering the both of us with the cover. I hug him and just before I drift into the dreamland I can hear him softly whisper 'I love you'

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So here it is. It might not make any sense or be really confussing. Sorry.

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Ok, bye!