Goodbye.

 

A simple word, yet so much impact. What happen? We were so happy. We had everything. A cozy apartment, money, but most importantly - us. Why did you have to go and leave me here.. all alone. I try to move on. I've tried, but I can't. I know you want me to. I know you do. 

 

I can still feel your presense. Your scent. Your laugh ringing in my ears. Your beautiful eyesmile. Your luscious lips. Your assets. You. 

 

When you first looked at me, my heart raced.

 

When you first shook my hand and told me your name, I smiled.

 

When you first hugged me, I felt safe.

 

When you first interlocked our fingers, I became nervous.

 

When you first became a shoulder to cry on, I released all of my deepest feelings.

 

When you first kissed me, I believed in love.

 

And when we made love, we became one.

 

I can't seem to forget the day you left me. Tears seem to flow automatically. Every part of my body aches. I barely eat anymore. I can't do anything anymore. Why? Why? WHY? 

 

That day. 12th September. That awful day.

 

I sat next to your bed. Holding your hand. Afraid that if I let go, you might vanish into thin air. I looked at your face that cheered me up whenever I was down. It was pale.. as if you just saw a ghost. I looked at your lips. You were frowning. Perhaps, a bad dream. I looked at the back of your hand which had a tube injected to it. I smiled as I remembered how we used to have a thumb war whenever we were bored. 

 

I kept daydreaming until I realized you were slowly waking up. You weakly smiled at me and tried to say something. I leaned my ear near to your mouth.

 

"Good morning.." You said.

 

I smiled and kissed your forehead. You lifted your hand and ran your fingers slowly on my eyelids. I closed my eyelids one at a time to make sure I never miss even one detail of your expression. 

 

You smiled again and said, "You have tired eyes, Kim Taeyeon." I smiled as you used my full name.

 

"If it's for you, I don't mind turning into a panda with huge black eyes." She chuckled but soon it turned into light coughs. I quickly grabbed a bottle of water and opened the cap for you. You silently drank it. 

 

"Come here." You said after placing the bottle of water on the table. You moved until there was enough space for me to slip in. I held you as you snuggle up to me. You placed your head at the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes as I placed my cheek on the top of your head. Your hair smelt nice.

 

"Sleep.. I know you're tired." You whispered against my neck. I slowly felt my eyelids close and soon fell asleep.

 

I woke up an hour later to find you still sleeping. I couldn't sleep properly. I felt so insecure. A nurse came in to check on you. I stood up and let her check you. As she was checking you, she suddenly wore a worried face. She quickly shrugs it off and looks at me before saying, "I think the doctor has to check on her now." It scared me. 

 

A doctor came in. I left the room to give him some privacy. Soon, he came out with a heavy expression.

 

"I think it's time you get ready." I inhaled sharply. My heart fell.

 

It might be the last time I see her. I cried and cried. My legs felt weak. It was as if my soul had just left my body. We promised each other that it was forever. Why.. why.

 

I knew I had to stay strong for her. I gathered up all my courage and opened the door to see her staring at the ceiling with tears at the corner of her eyes.

 

"Hey.." I said with a bitter smile.

 

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" She got straight to the point.

 

I kept my gaze to the floor. I grabbed a chair and sat beside her bed. I took her hand and kissed it softly. I leaned forward and softly kissed her lips. I fixed your bangs then made a funny face to cheer you up. It did work as your lips twitched.

 

As hours pass, you were getting weaker and weaker.

 

"TaeTae.." You whispered. Your voice was so soft. I tried so hard to not burst into tears.

 

"Yes, my love?" My voice cracked.

 

"Promise me something?" You said.

 

"Anything." I leaned in to hear you better but I still held your hand tightly.

 

"Don't mourn over my departure.. I wouldn't want to see that. Find someone. Love her. Raise your kids with her. Grow old with her. And most importantly, take care of her. I want to see that. Will you do that for me?" I couldn't stop my tears now.

 

"F-Fany, please d-don't.." I hiccuped.

 

"Shh. Promise me?" She was crying too. I felt her grip on my hand tightened.

 

I nodded positively. "I promise Fany.. I promise." 

 

"Good.." She said. She closed her eyes. I wiped my cheeks that were stained with tears. "Taeyeon ah.." My head bolted as I looked at her.

 

"I love you so much...

 

Forever...

 

And always..

 

Goodbye."

 

I love you too Tiffany... Forever and always. I'll keep my promise. I will try. For you.