Jiyeon pushed herself harder and faster, ignoring the burn she had begun to feel in her legs. With the way she was feeling, no pain came close to the one she felt in her heart. She had convinced herself that she didn't need him; she was going to be strong, and she could live without him. However, she didn't feel capable of going on without him. She blamed herself for being so weak.

She ran and ran wherever her feet would take her. She had no idea how far she had been running. She started to slow down, rapidly giving in to the fatigue that was consuming her. The girl finally stopped when she reached a beach, the sea gently lapping at the shore. The sand was as white and as soft as powered sugar, and the water was so clear that it almost merged into one color with the blue sky. Off to the right, dunes undulated, with thin fingers of grass poking out of them. This was a beautiful and tranquil place. She dropped her guitar case on the sand before collapsing. The blue plaid, long-sleeved shirt she had on was soaked with her sweat, and her breathing was rapid and shallow. 

Laying there on the soft sand, she could feel the sea breeze blowing gently around her, kissing her sweaty skin, while the warmth of the sun worked its way into her body, relaxing her muscles and easing their tension, which made her forget what was happening to her for a few blissful moments.

Within minutes, she began to feel better. She slowly sat up and stared blankly into the vast endless sea, the image of her lover passing through her head. Her eyes started to fill with tears again.

Why was Myungsoo treating her like this?

Did she do something wrong?

The future she dreamed of revolving around her image of his as the "one," fantasies of marriage and children, washed away with the ebb and flow of the waves on the beach.

She smiled briefly, glancing at her guitar case by her side, mumbling in a small, shaky voice, "No, I'm not alone, and I'll never be alone. I have a best friend who will never hurt and leave me alone."

Her guitar was her only friend. One that had been there through thick and thin. She opened the case, took her guitar out and cradled in her lap. She it, inhaling its rosewood scent. And Myungsoo's voice was there again, reciting that phrase as though it were merely another lyric in a song he had created for her:

"Park Jiyeon, I think you're already dead."

Her head throbbed. Her fragile heart shook within the confines of her chest. Memory upon memory piled up like the sediment that washed upon the shore. She clutched her guitar close to her and cried. Cried her heart out. Cried out every ounce of emotion with the hopes that heaven would hear her and relieve her of her pain. With red stained cheeks, she trembled uncontrollably despite the warm breeze which batted against her.

And she realized something.

Myungsoo never loved her. His hurtful words were not a part of some ironic joke. Their kiss meant nothing. She was truly dead to him. Yet, she couldn't help but ask herself once more, what had she done to him to deserve all of this?

She wouldn't have before marriage. She wasn't so blind as to willingly go along with his words. She wasn't so blind to not see how cruel he was, even if she could not yet face the fact that he might have been this way all along.

She only wished she could rewind the clock and stop this from happening.

Her heart which carefully attempted to sew itself back together was torn to shreds no matter how brief her encounter with him might have been. He tore her to shreds. Thick and unbearable pain was left behind. The sea could swallow her up right then and there and she wouldn't have cared in the least.

No one loved her anymore.

No one cared for her anymore. 

Letting her guitar fall off her lap onto the sand, Jiyeon put her trembling hands over her ears, trying her best not to listen as she heard the voices inside her head, telling her how better she would feel if she were dead. The pain she had… would move onto him. His world would become so dark; he would blame himself every single day!

Like audio clips from a film, they played over and over, melding into each other. "Dad, help me. The pain and the voices inside my head don't want to go away," Jiyeon muttered between cries as she pressed her hands hard against her ears. 

Moments later, she stopped crying then laughed at the voices inside her head that kept telling her the same thing while clapping her hands. She seemed to be losing her mind. "Myung, if I die today, what will you do? Cry, sad or laugh!" she growled as she ran a hand through her hair.

She brushed her tears away with her sleeve. After taking off her boots, she rolled her jeans up to the knees and stood up. "Dad, I'm so tired of dying inside my soul each day. I'm so tired of the tears; I'm so sick of the pain. I'm going to see you, since I know you will protect me from pain and suffering." Jiyeon smiled bitterly.

Obeying the voices in her head, the girl moved forward—one step, then another. The water would be cold, and the undertow would be strong, but Jiyeon didn't care. Her frustration and sadness had seeped into her very soul. She went to the water, resolutely keeping her chin up as the cold fingers of the sea crept up her legs.