Summary: Yunho suspects that one of s was pregnant. Wait, make that two.

AN: This is a little different, writing style wise,  from my previous posts. Wanted to try something out. Hope it's not too confusing! *crosses finger*

Yunho stared and stared. He knew he was being obvious but the victim was simply too into his world to even notice the piercing stare. The leader messed up his bed hair and sighed harshly. He needs to tell. He has to tell. Whatever that he had been observing thus far was freaking him up. He had to share or he would lose his mind, piece by piece. Yunho shuddered at the thought of him going loony.

The walls are sooooooo spongy! Yunho giggled to himself as he launched into the wall again. He screwed his eyes tight, waiting for the pain to come. Almond eyes flew open as he found himself bouncing off instead of crashing into the hard wall. He landed onto the carpeted floor lightly and started to roll around. He squealed and giggled. He had no idea why he was laughing but he was feeling tickled. A knock sounded. Yunho whipped his head around to figure out the source but he threw that thought out of his mind when a man stepped into the room.

Pretty~~~ Yunho giggled yet again. He must be an angel, Yunho wondered in amazement. His amazement was stopped short when he hit his head. Stupid Yunho, Nana said that angels cannot be seen, he pouted furiously at himself.

“Hello, Yunho-yah. How are you feeling today?” The man spoke as he sat beside him.

“You are not an angel. Nana said so,” Yunho declared, his voice tinged with smugness.

“Yes, Yunho-yah. I’m not an angel. I’m a human, just like you,” the man explained patiently.

“Just like me?” Yunho questioned. The man nodded his head, smiling.

“Like Bambi too?” Yunho asked again, eyes shone with happiness. He loved Bambi. A lot.

The smile on Yunho’s face dropped instantly when the pretty-but-not-an-angel-because-Nana-said-so man shook his head.

“Bambi is a unicorn, not a human.”

Yunho ignored the pretty man as he turned towards his other side. Bambi was sad. He the mane of Bambi lovingly, careful to not get pricked by the sharp horn on the head. Bambi flopped to the ground, purring as Yunho continued the heavy .

Wait, unicorns purr? Yunho was confused.

Unicorns do not-

And suddenly, Yunho found himself transported back to his dorm. His face turned ashen pale instantaneously when he realised the ridiculous dream he had. What the heck, Yunho! He reprimanded himself. He really needed to divulge, to seek help, or the one losing his mind was going to be him and not Changmin!

But who?

He could not possibly seek professional help. It will be a field of a day if the Sasaengs managed to catch him sneaking into a psychology clinic.

Leeteuk hyung would probably still be cooped up with his army matters and would not have the time to listen to him.

Heechul would flip him the bird and continue staring into his mirror.

Yoochun will definitely give him one word answers as if an Okay or a Cool helps matters.

Junsu…. Yunho had once confided with him about his worries on acting with the big leads in Yawang and he got an oyagi gag for a reply.

Which leaves one person.

Kakao Chat History:

I think Changmin is mad.

Like mad. Real mad.

Not the angry mad, but the loony mad.

He had been eating non-stop since yesterday.

OH MY GOD, HE HAD BEEN EATING FOR 18 HOURS!

Hello, Jaejoong???

Are you not concerned that your dongsaeng is gorging to death on food?

Yunho, I am in the middle of recording The Zoo Is Alive.

Then how are you even replying now?

Stop lying to me! *betrayed* *cries*

I am having my break now.

I fear for your sanity more.

*rolls eyes in exasperation*

I. AM PERFECTLY. SANE.

QUESTION. MY. SANITY. NO. MORE.

It’s Changmin the one you should fear.

Sighs. What did he do again?

Were you even paying attention?

I said he had been eating food non-stop.

He keeps saying he’s hungry but it’s plain ridiculous.

He munched a whole bag of chips after wiping off an entire bowl of bibimbap.

I BET SM, THE BASTARD, STARVED HIM.

*fuming*

Oh my poor baby. I’m going to cook his favourites later.

I knew SM was starving him.

He looked so malnourished these days! *sobs*

Who’s the one being ridiculous right now?

SM had, and will never, starve Changmin.

Like you know any better. *sneers*

I spend every second of my life with Changmin being 50 metres away from me.

Of course I know better than you! *smug*

Then explain the sudden exponential increase in his appetite then!

*Raises eyebrow*

He… He…

I

Think

He

Might

Be

Yunho-yah, I got to go.

Recording’s resumed.

Talk to you later!

*waves hand*

Pregnant.

Jae!

YAH, KIM JAEJOONG!

IS THE RECORDING MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR DONGSAENG???

Yunho, have you ever considered being a standup comedian?

My stomach still hurts from all the laughter.

Pregnant?

That’s like saying cows jump over the moon.

*Angry*

Yunho-yah, I know Biology was never your forte.

But how can a man get pregnant?

*pats shoulder sympathetically*

Otherwise what explains this. Irrational behaviour!

*pouts*

Second bout of puberty?

Why would a 188cm, 25 year old man grow anymore taller?

*shrugs*

It seems more logical than your pregnant theory.

I’m still sticking to my pregnant hypothesis thank you very much.

Day three: Changmin is still eating.

Yunho, I am not your diary.

Yes, you are!

No, I’m not!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

NO!

YES!

N-O! NO!

Yunho, you know fully well that I can continue this on

And I’m sure you know who will win.

*pouts*

Can’t you just let me win for once!!

Please! *puppy eyes*

*wavers*

OH. MY. GOD.

CHANGMIN IS CRYING OVER GEUM JANDI.

CHANGDOLAH. CHANGMIN. SHIM CHANGMIN. VOLDEMIN.

HE NEVER CRIES OVER DRAMAS!

BUT HE JUST DID!

Told you he was pregnant.

All the pregnant hormones are messing up his emotions.

JAEJOONG. KIM JAEJOONG. HERO. YOUNGWOONG.

What are you trying to do?

Since you pretty much exhausted Changmin’s nicknames…

I thought I should return the favour by sharing mine too.

Oh, one more. How could I forget!

Asia’s iest man. *smug*

Boojae.

What.

What!

What what!

What what what!

Stop it! You started it first!

So don’t you dare go ‘what-ing’ on me!

What!

What did I do!

*scratches head in confusion*

You typed my name.

But you never continue!

Talk about being confused!

*stomps foot on ground*

I wasn’t calling you!

I was just reminding you of the nickname that you forgotten to mention…

Oh….

Jae….

Changminnie….

He…..

What happened to my baby right now!

YAH, JUNG YUNHO!

DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING HERE WITH SUCH CRYPTIC MESSAGES!

He asked me why he was such an imperfect creature!

The Changmin I know has too big an ego to ask me such things! *SOBS*

*tears hair*

My Changminnie is such a delicate flower!

I knew the snarky personality was just a front to cover his fragile heart.

OH, NOW THEN YOU ARE INTERESTED IN CHANGMIN!

OMG, can you respond faster?

You totally messed up the conversation pace right now.

It’s like there’s two conversations going on now!

One on Changmin, and the other on your elementary typing skills!

*frowns*

This is how I type!

I will no longer accord to your whims and type faster.

Plus, there is no indication of when the messages are sent!

HAH! *smug grin*

Just because the author is too lazy to add in the timings,
doesn’t mean you can exploit it!

Hmph!

How did you reply Changmin then!

Seriously, if I knew I was going to be the leader of DBSK,
I would have taken a degree in Psychology!

The things I have to handle….!!!!!

That’s why I passed this awesome position to you!

*toss hair*

Shut up, Jaejoongie!

I dare not mention ANY of his shortcomings…

I just talked about how tall he is,

How smart he is,

What pretty eyes he has…

That’s all?

Yunho, just a word of advice from the nice me,
NEVER PURSUE YOUR PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE.

YOU WILL FAIL TERRIBLY.

Anyway, that’s all you’ve mentioned?

Umm…… *scratches head*

I may have mentioned that the only flaw would be his ears…

JUNG. YUN. HO.

Yes, it is so serious that I had to separate all the syllabi in your name.

YOU KNOW THAT HIS EARS ARE HIS ARCHILLES HEEL!

THEY ARE NEVER TO BE MENTIONED!

*winces*

I know!

But Changdolah caught me offguard with such a question!

My mind was in a blank as I struggled to come up with a response

And the ears comment just slipped through….

There was nothing I can do!

He glared at me and flew out of the house in a fit.

*wringing fingers nervously*

YOU INSENSITIVE MAN.

JERK.

BASTARD.

IDIOT.

RETARD.

It’s all because of a handful of you these people,
that the rest of the men are being condemned as jerks.

YOU NICOMPOOP!

I’m calling Changminnie now.

DO NOT LIAISE WITH HIM!

YOU HEAR ME, YOU POOP!

Are you by chance pregnant too? *ponders*

All these name callings is such typical preggy actions.

WHAT IS WITH YOU AND PREGNANCY!

I am not pregnant.

Phew, that was a relief to hear that!

I can’t possibly juggle two pregnant friends at one go!

I AM NOT PREGNANT.

Yes, yes, I know.

You just mentioned 5 texts ago!

*rolls eyes at your idiocy*

I was simply heartbroken.

Your heart broke?

Like literally??

OMG, Jaejoongie, stay there!

I’m on my way right now!

Yunho was frantic. Jaejoong’s heart was broken and he had absolutely no idea what to do! Throwing on a jacket in haste, Yunho searched for his car key at the island. However, the damn keys were nowhere to be found. He punched the island top, anger and panic consuming him. But it seemed as though anger and panic were not enough to numb his senses as he was soon hopping and howling; the throbbing in his hands were almost killing him. Yunho continued to hop on either foot as he braced through the waves of pain when he heard the jiggling of metal. Slipping a hopeful hand (not the injured hand of course), a surge of relief washed through him as he finally found his keys. Jaejoong was right about his Mary Poppins-liked pockets. His phone buzzed before he could change off his home slippers.

I finally understood the name callings at the top.

You really are an idiot.

If Jaejoong’s heart were to be broken, which will you think would be faster?

You going down to find him or you dialling for the ambulance?

And BEFORE you dial the hospital, my heart is NOT broken LITERALLY.

*pouts*

Then be clearer next time!

Yunho, everybody knows that heartbroken is
another word for being dumped!

Jaejoong, this happened a long time ago already.

And I thought you had forgiven your biological mother?

You are not dumped, Jaejoong!

You were never dumped!

You are just lucky to have two sets of parents who love you to death.

Which may be the explanation to your bratty behaviour at times…

I did not get dumped by my parents!

ASDFGHJKL

I got dumped by my girlfriend, get it now slowpoke?

*jaw unhinges*

How come was I not informed about this at all.

I am not happy, Jaejoong.

I thought we promised to tell each other about our partners!

Since when did I make such a pact with you!

Since…

Wait a minute, this is not Jaejoong.

WHO ARE YOU!

WHY ARE YOU HOLDING ON TO JAEJOONGIE’S PHONE!

WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!

Hold your horses, Yunho.

Jaejoong is perfectly safe in his kitchen, cooking for me.

WHO ARE YOU!

I AM CHANGMIN, YOU DIMWIT.

OH.

Ohhhh….

Why are you using Jaejoongie’s phone anyway!

Because he is busy whipping healing food for me.

And he wants me to clarify stuff with you.

Since somebody thinks he has a pregnant, emotional dorm mate,
When said dorm mate was actually trying to nurse his broken heart.

How would I know!

I caught you staring out of the windows once.

You had no idea how scared I was!

You hadn’t noticed that all the keys to the windows
are not at the usual drawer, had you?

I hope you still remember where you kept them.

Of course, I’ve kept them at….

I’ll tell you later.

*smiles innocently*

Anyway, I just went to the library to borrow a book on pregnancy.

You and I are going to have a very long talk about pregnancy later, hyung.

Umm, I realised that I am meeting Yoochun later for dinner.

So there’s no need to wait up for me,
Since you know how clingy Yoochun could be when he has a few shots down.

Tonight, 11pm sharp, your room.

*Gulps*

AN: How was it?