For all the months of GD&T.O.P touring, both men silently assented to a mutual truce.  Four times Bom came to sing with them and each time there were difficulties.  After the first of those four concerts JiYong had refused to talk to his hyung, afraid he would say something irretrievably offensive if he tried to speak to Seunghyun and finally drove back to YG building without him.  Seunghyun felt relieved.  He had been shrinking from the thought of sitting in the car beside the wall of hurt and blame that JiYong had not been able to prevent going up around himself. 

Gradually the concert list grew shorter until only their final, great concert in Seoul was left.  the concert was to be shared with 2NE1 and not only would Bom be singing all three of her featured GD&T.O.P songs, but JiYong and Seunghyun would be taking part in some of 2NE1’s songs.  At the beginning of the year when they had discussed it with YG it had seemed like such a good idea.  Now JiYong saw it as one more night when he would have to stand by and watch Bom’s obvious preference for Seunghyun.  Seunghyun himself simply dreaded the night for all the pain it would inevitably cost everyone.

From a fan’s point of view, the concert was a huge success.  GD was even more enigmatic and sensually enticing than usual.  T.O.P spent as much time as possible on the edge of the stage interacting with screaming fans.  Underneath the showy front of GDragon however was a JiYong in agony because the first thing Bom had said to him was “Are you taking good care of Seunghyun?  He looks tired.”  And behind the diligent fan-service of T.O.P’s were wildly racing thoughts of what JiYong had thought when Bom’s face had lit up as she greeted Seunghyun, the hurt look of confusion on Bom’s face as he had deliberately not held her hand when they were introducing themselves on stage and more strongly than anything else, the futile longing to love Bom freely.

After the concert 2NE1 left quickly to give fans time to see GD&T.O.P alone.  It was another hour before the last V.I.P’s left and both JiYong and Seunghyun were too tired to put distance between each other.  Shoulder to shoulder they wandered back into the dressing room and stopped; any faint reconciliation that was beginning to show shattering as Bom looked up from the lounge and smiled at them.  It only took a moment for Bom to realise that something was very wrong although she didn’t know what.

“Seunghyun-ah, I… hope you don’t mind, I’ve been playing games on your phone while I waited.”

Seunghyun sighed as he felt JiYong stiffen beside him then move away.  “You know the password to his phone?”  His words were casual but Seunghyun heard the quivering anger beneath it.

“Nae.  I gave it to her a long time and haven’t changed it yet.”  He emphasized the “long time ago” and JiYong thankfully said nothing else.  Seunghyun picked up his jacket took his phone back silently – ignoring the question in Bom’s face as she looked up at him – and looked around for anything else that was his then started to walk towards the door.  He just wanted to get home to his bed and away from everything.

“Seunghyun, can I come with you?”  Bom’s face still held that confusion as he turned to look at her.  All Bom wanted to do was find out why he was acting so strangely lately and she had thought she could ask him on the way back to YG Building.  But Seunghyun was not saying the instant yes she had imagined.

“uhh…”

“I can take you home Bom-noona.”  She shifted her gaze from Seunghyun and refocused for a moment on JiYong to acknowledge his offer before looking back at Seunghyun, close to tears. 

“I wanted to talk to you Seunghyun… I thought…”  She stopped.  Seunghyun’s expression was telling her clearly that he didn’t want too. 

“I’m going to a friends’…”  Seunghyun’s voice drifted off.  He didn’t like lying at the best of times and hated himself for lying to Bom.

“Don’t you dare lie to me Choi Seunghyun!”  Bom shouted suddenly.  “What’s wrong with you both?  Seunghyun why don’t you ever want to be around me anymore?  Aren’t I good enough now?”  Bom’s words broke from her lips, shaking with sudden emotion as her eyes pleaded with Seunghyun to deny her accusation.  Seunghyun dropped his eyes silently.  He couldn’t answer Bom’s question; not with JiYong’s eyes on him, deadly anger in them.  For a moment Bom waited, then she gave a half sob of hurt rejection and turned away.  “Don’t worry, I’ll walk home.  Goodnight T.O.P-ssi.  Goodnight JiYong-ah.”  His stage name and the formality, spoken with such little girl hurt, cut Seunghyun until he flinched in physical pain.  Then his head came up.

“You can’t walk home Bom-ah!”  Bom didn’t answer and the slammed door echoed into silence before either man moved.

When they went out to their cars it was storming.  “Bom is walking in this.”  Seunghyun couldn’t stop the words leaving his mouth and was grateful for the deafening crash of thunder he hoped would cover any accusing insinuation JiYong would hear in them.  But JiYong answered,

“I offered to take her home and you did tell her she shouldn’t walk.”  The words were a hard shrug and in the lightning flashes, JiYong’s face was hard as well.  Seunghyun turned to him, meeting JiYong’s frustrated anger with his usual blameless expressionless.

“That’s why she doesn’t love you: because you’re selfish.  When you’re hurting to revert back to yourself instead of reaching out.  Bom cares for other people before herself.  Even when she’s hurting.”  He said the words tiredly, as though he was talking about another person, then stepped out into the sheeting rain to his car.  As he reached it JiYong’s voice, now quivering, wrapped itself mockingly around him.

“Yes and that’s why she loves you I suppose?  I bet you’ve done some real personal caring for her haven’t you?” 

Seunghyun jerked the car door open and was inside before he could hear the rest of JiYong’s insult.  He pulled the car door shut and noticed a piece of paper folded across the steering wheel.  It had to be from Bom.  He knew no one else who communicated using notes.  JiYong was no longer in sight so he opened it.  Half of the writing was in Korean then were a few lines in English.  He scanned the Korean quickly, a smile curving lines of pain in his face as he read Bom’s pride at his performance, how she had rejoiced in his success and captured certain moments that she knew he would want to know and remember.  Then he came to the English part.

“I don’t know why I am using English to this. Maybe so you do not understand.  Earlier, I would want you to understanding but through all concerts I feel you want no more to have understanding of me.  So, I will memorise old Seunghyun.  He who stopped me to killing myself and made me to love life.  He who made me love him by his always care and so gentle kindness to me.  He who always held me for my sake and comfort before himself.  I will always memorise that Seunghyun and never to forgetting him because my love cannot find way to stopping.”

All the way home Seunghyun could hear those words ringing in his head.  He had been aimlessly driving for almost an hour but still they were there.  Once in the car park of YG Building he moved with unnecessary deliberation, trying to distract himself from her letter.  He was striding up the hall to his room when he heard someone calling him and turning, saw Dara running up the hall after him.  He waited while she caught her breath then blurted out, “Did you bring Bom home?” 

Now Seunghyun actually looked at her.  “No.  She said she would walk.”

“She isn’t home yet.”  There was fear in Dara’s voice.

“She should be home by now.  She left over an hour ago” Seunghyun hesitated then put both hands on Dara’s shoulders, forcing her to concentrate fully on him and not her worry for Bom.  “If I’m not back with her in half an hour, tell JiYong.”

When Dara nodded, he dropped his hands and left.

It was still storming as Seunghyun slipped out the back door of YG and began the walk back to their concert venue.  He soon found that he could see both sides of the street better if he walked in the middle of the road and had begun to jog when his foot hit a patch of oil in the road.  He slipped, landing on his side, jeans sliding up as his ankle twisted and scraped along the road surface.  his breath in, Seunghyun stood slowly, gingerly rolling his ankle.  Soon he could move it with no pain so he shrugged off the blood that was slowly soaking into his sock and kept going. 

A few blocks up the road he saw a large mound of… something lying near the edge of the road.  Seunghyun sprinted and found Bom lying unconscious where she too, had slipped on oil and hit her head, knocking herself out. 

After carrying her back to YG Building he left her with 2NE1, YG himself and a capable nurse while he went to have a hot shower.  He cleaned up his graze as best possible then fell into bed, too exhausted by everything that had happened to even go and check on Bom again.

JiYong was awoken late the next morning by YG thumping on his door.  JiYong told him rather grumpily to come in and expected a scolding for it.  YG didn’t notice however.  “Seunghyun is in hospital.”  He said quietly and watched JiYong’s whole face change as the words met his ears.

“Why?”

“He has blood poisoning.  When he went looking for Bom last night…”

“Looking for Bom??”

“Nae.  You came home and went to bed.  Seunghyun came home later and Dara told him Bom wasn’t home yet so he went looking for her.  It’s just as well he did.  Bom was unconscious on the road.  She has severe concussion from where she slipped on some oil and hit the concrete as she fell. She could have been in serious trouble if Seunghyun hadn’t found her.”  JiYong face registered shock and YG waited a moment before continuing.  “So when Seunghyun went looking for Bom he fell and cut his ankle on something.  Whatever it was, he woke up vomiting with severe stomach cramps a few hours ago.  Daesung said he could hear him crying from his bedroom.”  JiYong shuddered as he pictured his hyung in such desperate physical pain.  “The nurse couldn’t stop him or get him to keep down any medicine and finally he collapsed.  We took him to hospital and he has blood poisoning.”

JiYong didn’t move but his face gradually went even whiter.  “Will he be ok?”

For the first time YG’s blank look and tone of voice faltered.  He dropped his head to stare at the floor.  “I don’t know.  He’s still in severe pain and it’s stopping him from getting rest.  If he doesn’t get some actual sleep soon… the doctor said he just won’t have enough strength to fight the infection.  He’s also delirious.  He keeps on pleading for JiYong to forgive him.”  YG’s head had lifted again and he was watching JiYong’s face as he spoke.  JiYong’s lips parted in a silent gasp, he met YG’s gaze then looked away sharply.  “If his body doesn’t rest and start healing soon, he could very well die.”  Said the YG boss quietly. 

JiYong swung out of bed, still in his jeans from the night before.  Silently he pulled a pair of sneakers on and grabbed a jacket.  “Let’s go.”

When they arrived at the hospital YG stopped him just outside Seunghyun’s room.  “Ji… he’s very sick.”  JiYong shrugged him off and pushed through the door then stopped.

Daesung was sitting beside the bed, head resting on the mattress, absolutely exhausted.  He didn’t even look up when JiYong came in.  JiYong didn’t see him either, he was staring mesmerized at the bed.  Seunghyun was lying, one hand gripping Daesung’s while the other clenched over his stomach, staring unseeingly at the ceiling.  But it was not that, or even the fact that Seunghyun’s face was the whitest JiYong had ever seen it that held JiYong pinned to his spot with such disbelief on his face.  Seunghyun was groaning; almost sobbing with physical torture that gripped his body and forced it to heave again and again until it was drained of all energy.  JiYong watched as Seunghyun’s body fought him, pushing bile up his throat with each of those agonising heaves, then finally let him go limp on the mattress, almost too weak to breathe.  For a few moments there was silence in the room as Seunghyun struggled to pull strength back into his being then his hand re-clenched over his stomach, and once again his lips parted in uncontrollable cries as the infection in his blood stream ravaged him.  Shaking and almost in tears JiYong turned to YG like a little boy turns to his father.  “Why can’t they make him stop?”

“Any medication they give him stays inside him for about... two minutes.  If that long.  They think that if he could just get to sleep, his body would have time to rest and he would stop… that.”  YG gestured and JiYong forced his gaze back to the bed where Seunghyun was up on one elbow spewing bile and blood into a hospital bowl, his whole body rigid with cruel, brutal effort.  JiYong could feel his own nails biting into the palms of his hand as he heard the desperate sounds of Seunghyun gasping, choking, retching.  After what seemed a lifetime to JiYong; Seunghyun collapsed, falling over the bowl.  He didn’t know where he had dropped, or didn’t have the strength to shift and after a few moments silence, JiYong heard his voice, so hoarse and slurred that JiYong didn’t recognise it at first.

“Dae…sung…”

“Nae Hyung?”

“JiYong… I’m sorry… JiYong… angry… with m…” his voice died and both YG and JiYong tensed while they waited for him to start breathing again.  Only Daesung did not move.  He simply gripped Seunghyun’s hand tighter.  “He hasn’t…forg…iven… me…  Bom…” his head shifted slightly and Seunghyun frowned in pain.  “I’m sorry… JiYong… Agh…Daesung…Help me…” 

Daesung’s shoulders lifted and fell as he caught a sob although his voice as even as he replied.  “Go to sleep Hyung.  Just go to sleep.  Please…”  But Seunghyun was gripped in agony again, pain that had the power to twist his body at its will and render him helpless to do anything else but lay helpless under its supremacy.  As his body writhed, JiYong heard feverish, dogged words wrenched from his lips.  “Mian…hae… JiYong… I tried… but Bom… Bom… please Bom help me… Ah, JiYong… Mianhae…”  there a seconds silence then Seunghyun spoke again  his voice rough and grating with urgency as he almost screamed.  “No! Bom!  Don’t come! JiYong needs… you, not… me, Bom don’t… go outside!  No, you’ll get hurt again… Bom, BOM-AH!”  At the last exclamation Seunghyun suddenly pulled himself upright, his eyes wide and staring at some scene rendered in delirium that only he could see.  For the first time, Daesung moved, putting his other hand onto Seunghyun’s shoulder. 

“Seunghyun hyung, lie down.  Bom’s not here.  You just think she is, Please hyung…”  Seunghyun, turned his head to look at Daesung and JiYong involuntarily stepped backwards in fright at the glazed torment in his hyung’s eyes.

Stop holding… me back… Bom’s on the road… she’ll get hurt again… and JiYong… will blame… me.”  With unnatural strength Seunghyun pushed Daesung aside and swinging his legs off the bed, stood up.  Daesung stood with him, then suddenly put the back of his hand to his mouth and fled the room, his face crumpled into sobs at the sight of his favourite brother in the grip of such unbelievable sickness.  JiYong saw Seunghyun take two steps then suddenly double over, his teeth, which had been clenched, opening in an almost silent scream of agony, then Seunghyun collapsed on the floor and JiYong finally moved.  He went across the room as fast as he could on shaking legs and froze again as his eyes met the sight of Seunghyun curled, as terrible gasps of torture jerked from his body.  For a moment his eyes met JiYong’s horrified ones and JiYong saw such anguished pleading in them that he forgot everything else.  Falling onto his knees beside Seunghyun he gripped the man’s hand in his and pushed him flat onto his back, almost shouting at him in his desperate urgency. 

“Hyung!  Hyung, it’s me JiYong.  It’s ok, Hyung, I’m sorry, please forgive me hyung.  Oh Seunghyun-ah, please forgive me.”  He winced as the bones in his hand grated in Seunghyun’s iron grip but didn’t move.  Seunghyun’s eyes were roving, trying to focus on the voice he had been so frantic to hear in those never ending terrible hours.

“JiYong, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry… I tried, please… take Bom away… keep her safe.  I couldn’t… I hurt her… I’m sorry.”

JiYong curled his fingernails into the other man’s hand.  “Listen to me hyung.  You didn’t hurt Bom.  I hurt her.  Bom loves you.  You have to get better so you can love her back.  I, am, sorry Seunghyun.  I was wrong.  I tried to take Bom away from you when she wasn’t mine to take.  She was always yours because she loved you.  Bom loves you hyung!  She isn’t mine.  I don’t blame you.  You went back for her.  I didn’t.  I was wrong.  I was selfish.  Bom isn’t mine.  Bom loves you.  Hyung, you have to get better!  You have to love her.  Bom loves you.  I’m sorry hyung.  Mianhae, Mianhae…  ” JiYong didn’t know what he was saying anymore.  All that mattered was that the words he was repeating over and over cut through Seunghyun’s delirium and entered his brain.  Gradually he felt the older man flatten onto the floor beneath him.

“JiYong-ah?” 

“Nae.  It’s me hyung.  I’m so sorry Seunghyun-ah.”  JiYong’s voice faltered to a whisper at the last words.

“You love Bom.”  It was the one coherent thing in Seunghyun’s head and JiYong let his head drop forward as he fully comprehended just how much his own selfish desire had cut into Seunghyun’s being.  In the silence he could feel Seunghyun becoming restless.  The pain that JiYong’s voice had distracted him from was once again pushing to the front of his thoughts.  Teeth clenched again, Seunghyun was shivering uncontrollably while his fingers went white against JiYong’s in an effort to hold the delirious torture at bay.  JiYong heard his hyung’s breath catch against his throat and saw him push it out again in silent agony. 

“JiYong…”  YG’s voice held quiet incredulity and Jiyong echoed it.  His own wretched reluctance to give up Bom, even at the cost of Seunghyun’s life shocked him.  Beneath him, Seunghyun’s body pushed onto his side and JiYong felt the older man’s fingers unclench from around his to re-clench on Seunghyun’s own stomach. 

“Mian-hae.”  The one word, broken in two by a heave that turned Seunghyun’s lips blue slashed through JiYong.  Suddenly he turned his hyung back onto his back and brought his fist onto Seunghyun’s chest. 

“No!  I don’t love Bom.  I thought I did.  But I don’t.  Seunghyun, you love Bom, she loves you. I’m sorry.”

Seunghyun’s eyes sought Jiyong’s again and JiYong hoped they wouldn’t see the stinging tears he was trying to desperately to hold back.  “Don’t lie… to me…”

JiYong felt strange hopeless calm wash over him.  “I’m not lying hyung.  I don’t love Bom.”

For a few seconds the room was completely still.  Seunghyun remained tense then suddenly JiYong felt him relax, a small moan of release pressed from his lips and Seunghyun was asleep.  Slowly JiYong sat back on his heels and watched the man’s body sink into deep, wonderfully healing oblivion.

Seunghyun slept in that depth of oblivion for the rest of the day and well into the night.  When he finally opened his eyes the room was dark.  Slowly Seunghyun let his eyes drift through the darkness until they rested on the luminous hands of the wall clock opposite his bed.  They meant nothing to him.  He felt so drained and his stomach felt as though someone had knotted it several times then left it.  With an enormous effort he shifted his legs slightly and realised that one of them held a gnawing ache starting in his ankle and stretching all the way up his leg.  Then he heard something else move and became still again. 

“Seunghyun-ah?”  A hand slipped under his hand and Seunghyun felt disbelief.  It couldn’t be Bom.  “Seunghyun-ah, are... are you alive?” her voice sounded as if there were tears in it.  Seunghyun opened his mouth but heard nothing when he tried to speak.  Finally he concentrated on moving his fingers and found he could curl them around Bom’s laying in his hand.  On feeling Seunghyun’s larger reassuring hand closing around her own once more Bom suddenly put her head down against his arm and let the tears that Seunghyun had heard in her voice drip off her eyelashes in unspeakable, body wrenching relief.

For almost three days Seunghyun slept for long periods of time while his body slowly healed itself.  For much of those three days Bom was beside him, watching him, drinking in his features and terribly afraid he would never come back to her.  Then late one night she came back from getting a drink and found Seunghyun standing beside the window.  He turned at her soft exclamation then waited for her to slowly round the bed and join him.  “You’re better.”  Stated Bom lamely.  She was suddenly frightened.  What if she had been imagining everything and Seunghyun didn’t really love her at all.

“Nae.”  His deep, evenly rough voice arrested her.  “Are you better too?”

“I’m fine.  I just had a headache for a couple of days.  I’m better now.”

He nodded.  “Good.”  He paused then said, “go ma wo Bom-ah.” 

“ahh, I didn’t do anything”  muttered Bom feeling acutely embrassed.  There was silence then she blurted out, “You have to go back to bed, you’re shaking.” 

Seunghyun was shaking, his whole body trembling with the effort of standing upright.  Although Bom didn’t mention it, she too was shaking.  She ached to feel Seunghyun’s arms around her, comforting her and letting her know everything was right. 

“I don’t want to go back to bed.  I have to tell you something first.”

Bom folded her arms and didn’t look at him.  “What?  Hurry up so you can go to bed.”

“Bom-ah.”  He waited until she reluctantly dragged her gaze up to meet his.  “Saranghae.”

Bom stared at him.  “mm-mwo?”  She whispered finally. 

“I love you Bom.  I need you more than I need air.  When I didn’t have you, I almost died.  I love you.  Please marry me.  Be my wife and let me love you for the rest of your life.  Bom-ah, do you… could you love… me?”

For a long moment there was silence again then Bom’s face changed and wonderful confidence swept over her, filling her voice.  “I love you Seunghyun-ah.”

Seunghyun processed what she said then with a gasping laugh of wondering joy reached out to her.  Bom let his arms draw against him and slid her own arms around his waist, feeling the tremor in his body.  His arms were radiating bands of warmth into Bom’s back and it slowly dawned over her; Seunghyun loved her.  Everything Bom had ever dreamed of, was right there, hugging her.  Suddenly desperate, Bom pressed against him.  Her arms tightened as she turned her face into his chest, trying to get as close to him as possible.  The possibility that he might let go terrified her and she felt as though she couldn’t get close enough to him. 

As soon as he felt Bom’s arms go around him Seunghyun went weak with relief.  It hadn’t all been a dream; JiYong hadn’t lied to him to save his life.  Bom’s weight against him grew and Seunghyun suddenly was overwhelmed by the knowledge that Bom trusted him above anybody else she knew.  She loved him.  Seunghyun clenched his arms across her back, arms trembling as his muscles, still weak, held her as tightly as they could.  His head went down to rub against her hair and his hands spread over her back, supporting as much of her as he could.  He could feel Bom’s fingers clenching into his shirt then her face pushing against the bone running down the middle of his chest.  The sensation made him shiver.  He shifted his hands to move in rhythmical circles over her back and murmured against her hair in time to his movements.  “I love you Park Bom.  I love you more than any other thing, or person or idea or job or music or anything else.  You gave me a purpose in life that not even music could.  I love you.” 

Bom didn’t realise she was crying until he held her away from him to look at her.  For a moment he held her gaze then diverted it slightly as his hand cupped her cheek, thumb soaking up the tears on her cheeks.  Bom close her eyes in bliss then, feeling bereft nestled close to him again.  They stood there for several more minutes, exhausting themselves with the need to be as physically close to each other as possible.  Then suddenly Seunghyun collapsed onto the floor.  Bom slowed his fall but allowed it.  For a few moments his breathing, harsh and fast was the only sound in the room then he turned Bom so her back was against him and wrapping his arm around her waist pulled her against him again.  Blissfully happy and warm against him, Bom felt tingles go up her back as Seunghyun’s voice, rough with longing, entered her ear.  “I love you Bom.  I promise, I will spend the rest of my life, striving to make you happy. 

They fell asleep like that, Bom fitted to Seunghyun’s shape, one of his arms holding her close to him, the other acting as her pillow with his fingers twined into her hair. 

Three days later, Seunghyun was clear to go home.  For the first time in over a week he stood inside YG building.  JiYong met him in the hall and suddenly the euphoria Seunghyun had been feeling vanished.  But JiYong was looking penitent.  “Hyung, it’s because of my selfishness that you almost died.  I… can’t believe I almost lost my hyung through my own stupidity.  I’m sorry for causing you so much hurt…” he stopped and shuddered as he remembered the agony he had seen Seunghyun in.  “I know, you will probably be worrying that I didn’t mean what I said in the hospital so…” he stopped and Bom stepped around the corner.  Slowly JiYong took her hand and looked at her.  “Bom Noona, who do you love?”

“I love Choi Seunghyun.”

“May I be allowed to give you my well wishes?”

“Nae.”

“Bom; all I want is to see you happy.  You are happy with Seunghyun and I truly wish and hope that your happiness lasts until the tallest mountain the world has been worn to a valley.  For a long time I sought to hinder your happiness.  Now I ask your forgiveness and I want you both to know,” his gaze roved to include Seunghyun.  “how deeply and indescribably sorry I am and rather than stand in the way of your love as I have most selfishly done, I will do everything in my power to further and promote your love together, for as long as you both live.”  He turned Bom towards Seunghyun and bowed.  “Hyung, you sacrificed your love for my sake.  But I don’t have to sacrifice my love because what I felt was selfish and could never be true love.  You and Bom, were always meant to be together and I just got in the way.  I’m sorry.  The wrong I caused is righted.”  He put Bom’s hand on Seunghyun’s and stepped away.  “I love you both, my brother and sister, Mr and Mrs Choi.”  He walked away, steadily without looking back and as soon as he had gone, Bom slipped her arms around Seunghyun and pulled herself against him.  Seunghyun hugged her back, his embrace rough and joyfully carefree.  His last restraint had been broken.  JiYong not only tolerated their love, he approved of it.   His leader and brother was not angry, did not feel as though Seunghyun was stealing his love and finally Seunghyun was free to love Bom as much as he could.  One hand caressed Bom’s cheek, wrapping around it and turning it up so she met Seunghyun’s eyes, so close to her own.

“I love you Bom.”  He could not capture the intensity of his love for her in those three words and she felt as though nothing could describe the immensity of emotion in the words she had just heard from him.  He leaned down again and pressed his lips against her forehead.  Her hands slipped up and around his back as she thrilled to the sealing promise of his love to her; Their love - the ultimate reward for Seunghyun’s original sacrifice of love.

So, this is a lot longer than I planned and I still think it's pretty pathetic but I'm over tired so... stuff it, here it is, criticise away folks!! :D I kind of feel like a Topbom wedding or somethign is in order then I really am going to leave this poor thing alone.  I don't know if I really ship TOPBom all that much any more. I'm becoming more of a Tabisan shipper.  anyway... meh.  happy weekend everybody.  hopefully next week I'll be updating Feeling a lot more :D