Credits: lanza1521

|05| In Deep Water

 

“Your bun is ready”
-Kwon MinWoo-

NEW NIKE “SUPERWOMAN COLLECTION” ADVERTISEMENT

[A woman is seen wearing a pair of Nike “Superwoman” shoes, walking in front of a row of shops and wearing a large handbag. A snatch thief comes and snatches her handbag]

Crowd: *Gasp* Ahhhh!!
Random man: (Exasperatedly) What are you going to do? What are you going to do???
Woman: Don’t you worry, I’ve got my Nike shoes on!

[The woman smiles at the camera and then takes a deep breath before taking off her shoe and throws it at the snatch thief’s head]

Snatch thief: Oh no!! It’s Nike Superwoman!!

[The shoe dramatically hits his head. Snatch thief falls down unconscious to the ground. The woman gives a satisfied smile to the camera and runs towards her Nike shoe which is lying beside the snatch thief]

Woman: That’s right! It’s Nike Superwoman, you loser!

[Woman picks up the Nike shoe and holds it in her hand. She looks to the camera, smiling]

Woman: With Nike Superwoman, I’m not afraid of snatch thieves anymore. It is a gift that changes lives. Just do it!

[Destiny’s Child’s Survivor playing in the background. The woman walks with her handbag passing through the applauding crowd]

***************************


I used to brag to my friends that I can bake any type of buns if you ask me to. In fact, I was very confident that I could. But when the usual small, sweet bread that we call buns are misinterpreted as babies in my womb, I was dumbfounded. Heck, I was beyond dumbfounded. My “oven” wasn’t even baking that type of “buns” and now this y creature is saying that I’m pregnant. Doesn’t he know that there’s a special “process” needed for someone to be able to bake a “bun”? Doesn’t he learn all that in Science class?

Jeez.
My life had definitely gotten weirder the moment that I had agreed to be his maid.

I looked to my front. Aunt Mina was still clapping gleefully while Haraboji’s eyes nearly left their sockets.
I looked to my left and saw that y creature was giving Haraboji a satisfied smirk.

“She’s pregnant?” Haraboji gasped and then looked at me, “You’re pregnant?” he asked.

y creature secretly kicked my left leg, his secret message for asking me to reply yes to that.

I cleared my throat. “Err..” I stole a glance at y creature and he was giving me the icy stare, “Y-y-yes?” I stammered, putting a hand on my belly.

Aunt Mina clapped even louder. “Oh, this is great news SooJin-shi! I’ve been waiting for a long, long time for this!!”
“Oh, yippee,” I said flatly. I tried very hard to feign my excitement over the matter but I was just too stunned to be excited.

There was an air of discomfort lingering around Haraboji’s features. It was an expression of mixed emotions. I believe Haraboji was flabbergasted too.

“So, you’re pregnant,” Haraboji stated softly, more to himself. He fidgeted his legs and he closed his eyes for a moment. I think, just like his grandson, he talked to God a lot.

There was a moment of awkward silence after Aunt Mina discovered the discomfort on the old man’s face. She immediately stopped clapping and looked down to her lap.

Haraboji cleared his throat loudly. “So, I think that it is best if we arrange that meeting with your parents next week, Miss Kim. I’ll discuss with your parents on how to plan for the wedding at the nearest date since you’re already pregnant.”

“WEDDING???!!!” y creature and I shrieked in unison, our eyes wide with horror. 

“Y-you want to meet with my parents?” I bit my lips. Now, how in the world would I ever be able to explain all these crazy things to Umma? It had only been barely a week since I last saw her and now I had to tell her that I’m pregnant and getting married soon. I think it would drive Umma to the point of insanity. It wouldn’t be too long before I hear Umma being friends with the insane boy who is still trying to date cows.

Oh, boy!

“Oh, I love weddings,” Aunt Mina gushed dreamily.
Apparently, she didn’t notice the constipated look that both Mr. Kwon and I had on our faces.

Mr. Kwon began to cough loudly. I bet he was already regretting the lie that he made about me being pregnant. Serves him right for lying!

“Yes, you don’t want to have that poor child be born out of wedlock now, do you?” Haraboji said matter-of-factly and tilted his head to look at me, “And we absolutely can’t let you be the bride with a bulging belly. It’ll ruin the image of the Kwon family. For how long have you been pregnant, Miss Kim?”

“Err.. A month,” Mr. Kwon answered hastily for me.
I was about to say 10 minutes but I guess that wouldn’t make any sense whatsoever.

“Oh, no wonder it doesn’t show yet ,” Aunt Mina chirped, eyeing my belly. I put my hand protectively over it. Heck, I didn’t want some middle-age lady to be eyeing my belly. Even though she was my ‘fiance’s’ aunt, it was creepy nonetheless. “Don’t you get any morning sickness?”

“No, I’m very healthy. I rarely get sick,” I boasted.

Aunt Mina stared at me strangely before chuckling to herself. “I’m sure you are,” she said and put her hand on Haraboji’s arm, giving it a light squeeze. “Isn’t this exciting, Appa? MinWoo is going to be a father and you’re finallygoing to be a great-grandfather!” she exclaimed excitedly.

I wonder why she thought that anyone would be leaping with joy when they found out that they’re going to be a great-grandfather. Didn’t it mean that you’re too old to live to even have a great-grandchild?

Haraboji stayed emotionless. “Well, I guess we have a lot to plan then, now that SooJin-shi is pregnant,” he said.

“You don’t have to plan anything. Like I said, we’re taking it slow,” Mr. Kwon emphasized on the word ‘slow’.

“IF YOU’RE TAKING IT SLOW THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HER PREGNANT!” Haraboji roared like thunder, “YOU SHOULD’VE KEPT YOUR ‘THING’ IN YOUR PANTS, NOT MAKING ‘BUNS’!!”

I jumped in my seat. 
Aunt Mina put a hand on her chest. 
Mr. Kwon squirmed in his seat.
We didn’t dare to say anything.

Well, how exactly can you reply to that?

In a way, Haraboji was right. Mr. Kwon saying I was pregnant didn’t really make sense with his ‘we’re taking it slow’ stand. It was like an animal lover wearing a leather handbag.
Totally didn’t make any sense whatsoever.

Haraboji cleared his throat, breaking off the dreadful silence. “So I guess we should get going now, Mina. We have a lot to plan for this wedding,” he gave y creature a warning look, “and we should prepare to meet with her parents next week,” he gave me a look.

“Okay,” Mr. Kwon and I said dejectedly.
“Oh yay! A wedding!” Aunt Mina said excitedly. I think she had just forgotten about the whole Haraboji-roaring-like-thunder-nearly-making-everyone-pee-in-their-pants moment just now.

Haraboji and Aunt Mina got up from the couch and walked towards the door followed from behind by Mr. Kwon and I. 

“Let me know when your parents are coming so that we can set the venue for the meeting,” Haraboji said.

I nodded politely. He made it sound like he was going to do some fruits business with my parents.

“Goodbye, MinWoo-ah!” Aunt Mina said, hugging y creature tightly, “Goodbye SooJin-shi,” she smiled at me.

Haraboji was staring at me strangely, making me uncomfortable. I smiled and waved awkwardly to them. 

When they had left, Mr. Kwon closed the door while I walked in dejectedly towards the living room. It felt like I was carrying a heavy thing on my shoulders. I plopped myself on the couch, massaging my throbbing head.

*Ding*

“Err... Miss Kim, it’s awkward to say this now but your bun is ready.”

****

“Mr. Kwon, what are we going to do? What are we going to do??” I said exasperatedly, pacing back and forth in the living room. Mr. Kwon was sitting on the couch, watching me.

“Stand still, Miss Kim. I can’t really focus when you’re pacing like that,” he said.

I halted my steps. “You can’t focus??!!!!! It’s your fault for lying about me being pregnant!!”

“Who ask you to say that you’ve got a bun in the oven? It’s easy to see why they will misinterpret it,” he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“You’re saying that it’s my fault?” I scoffed in disbelief. How dare he turn this thing around! “But I really got a bun in the oven. I told you already that I’m making a stuffed bun!” I said, hands on my hips as I glared at the y creature.

“Then, who ask you to bake a bun?! You should’ve prepared something else like noodles or something!” Mr. Kwon said nonchalantly.

It was like a game of ‘you started it’ that was popular among my siblings. Whenever we did something wrong, the game will automatically be played so that in the end my parents would be too confused to even punish us. But this time, it’s different. I wouldn’t let myself be blamed for his stupid lies.

I narrowed my eyes at him. Invisible steams were coming out of my ears. “Yah!!” I yelled and he jumped in surprise, “Who ask you to open that big mouth of yours and tell them that I’m pregnant??!!!! You can just clear the misunderstanding, not add oil to the fire!! Now, how am I supposed to tell all these to my parents?”

I slapped my head repeatedly when I thought about my parents.
Oh, sh1t!

“Just tell them how it is. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it,” he said calmly.

Oh, I did NOT just hear that.
This man is looking for trouble. He is basically asking for me to kill him.

“Mr. Kwon, please stay in your position,” I instructed.
“Huh? Why?” he asked in confusion.
“Because I’m going to kill you now,” I said, marching with full force towards his direction.

Mr. Kwon jumped up to his feet almost immediately and started to run behind the couch for protection. 

We started to run in circles around the couch. I tried very hard to catch him but he was just too fast.

“Calm down, Miss Kim. We can solve this together,” Mr. Kwon said and looked back while running.
“Calm down?????!!!!” I shrieked, “How can you ask me to calm down when you’re asking me to tell my parents that I’m pregnant?!!! They will kill me, do you know that?!! I’m not even pregnant and yet I’m going to be murdered!!” I yelled, throwing a cushion at him. He dodged it just in the nick of time and the cushion hit the wall.
“They won’t kill you, I’m sure,” he said, still running.

He was sure, is it? If he was so sure, then how come he was still running away from me?

“Furthermore, how can you just tell them that I’m pregnant when I haven’t even kissed???!!!” I yelled in frustration.
I didn’t even know why in the world I told him that. I had stopped my run by then; it was too tiring for me to continue.

Mr. Kwon immediately halted his run to turn and stare at me in disbelief. “You haven’t?” he scoffed, “at your age?” 
Upon seeing the fire in my eyes, he immediately took a step back. “Err, I mean, let’s talk about this calmly, shall we?” he smiled nervously.

“Calmly?” I said in a sugary-coated voice and feigned a smile as I slowly walked forward towards him. Mr. Kwon looked relieved seeing my smile. “Sure I can,” I said when I was standing in front of him, “but just let me do this first.”

I did what I desired to do ever since he told his grandfather that I was pregnant; I kneed him in the g