Siwon was excited. Like really, really excited. He couldn’t contain his happiness. If he were to vomit, he’ll puke rainbows and unicorns and all those glucose inducing stuff. His joy was to that extend. Finally, after three long months of trying, he obtained his memory back. All three years of them. He couldn’t wait to surprise Jungsu with the news of his recovery.

He knows Jungsu said that he doesn’t mind Siwon not remembering anything about them – that they could always create new memories together – but for Jungsu, Siwon wanted to at least try. He’s not oblivious. Sometimes, he can see that Jungsu does get upset if there are certain things that he couldn’t remember. Jungsu never complained. He was efficient in hiding it with that beautiful smile of his. Jungsu was kind that way.

Being in love with Jungsu so much, Siwon took the liberty to do his own research of sort. He diligently read a lot of articles regarding types of memory lost such as the classic anterograde/retrograde amnesia, levy body dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, and so on. He also managed to find out that his condition of memory lost is something that is known as Ribot’s Law.

One fine day, Siwon stumbled on an article in the internet about spontaneous recovery. At first, he didn’t pay any heed towards the article as it was referring to the Pavlovian conditioning. Out of boredom, he scrolled down the page and saw a section entitled ‘Spontaneous Recovery in Human Memory’. He instantly took interest and read through everything of the article. He had also consulted Donghee on this matter and asked for his advice. Donghee supported him and helped in referring him to Doctor Jung Yunho, who was a therapist and specialized in the field that correlates with memories and the physiologies of the human brain. 

He did all this without letting Jungsu know anything. Not even a single hint. He wanted to surprise Jungsu if he ever did regain back his memory. If being the keyword. He didn’t want Jungsu’s hope to escalate, only to plummet when he did not succeed. Jungsu went through enough pain as it is. At least, if he wasn’t successful, he did not need to grace Jungsu with bad news.  But now, he has nothing to worry about. He can proudly say his treatment was a success and he finally remembered Jungsu.

That was all he ever wanted.

Contrary to what other people might think, Jungsu’s not the only one hurting. His own family is sometimes hurt too. Most of all, he is hurt too. Three years is not even half of his life, but a lot of things he didn’t know can happen in those three years that he lost. Obvious proof would be meeting Jungsu.

Who said he doesn’t get envious when he sees how close his family is with Jungsu? He often felt left out whenever he hears the conversation between them that he didn’t ever recall happening. It hurts sometimes that they forgot that he forgot.  

Who said he doesn’t get jealous when someone unknown approaches Jungsu? Like that Youngwoon guy, who Jungsu claimed as his neighbor (Siwon swore that guy sometimes stare at Jungsu too much and tries every chance he got to touch Jungsu’s hand as long as he could. Maybe he really needs to make his threat a reality by breaking that guy’s fingers.). He already knows Jongwoon, Kyuhyun, and Sungmin when he was still ‘friends’ with Jungsu.

What he didn’t know was that Jungsu has a large circle of friends. He easily got jealous and hurt every time when he doesn’t know certain names that Jungsu mentioned. For example, that time when Donghae hugged Jungsu. He was about to punch Donghae for simply hugging his Jungsu like that. Luckily, Jungsu was quick to explain and he found out that Donghae is clingy that way as he viewed Jungsu as his elder brother. He was also assured when he met Hyukjae. Siwon didn’t think it was possible to ever separate those two lovebirds. Hyukjae and Donghae are just meant to be with each other. But the point is he didn’t remember who those two were. He always felt guilty seeing Jungsu introducing him to new person each time.

Back to the matter at hand, Siwon was in a happier state as that day was their 3^rd anniversary of being together. He didn’t initially know, of course. Jungsu was the one who told him a few days ago and they made plans that night to go out together. They had planned a very simple, but meaningful date. They were going to have a picnic at the park in reminiscence of their first date. Jungsu will prepare all their favorite food and Siwon can set up the place.

Jungsu had told Siwon that he didn’t need to pick him up. Jungsu suggested that they should come separately to the place of their date because he had to take care of some last finishing detail of his gift for Siwon. Siwon wanted to protest at first, but he figured his gift for Jungsu needed some finishing touches too (and a whole lot of practice).

You see, Siwon was not only going to surprise Jungsu with how he got his memory back. For the past few days, he had been planning articulately on how to propose to Jungsu. He had picked out the perfect ring for Jungsu and was waiting for the right time to commence his plan. Their 3^rd anniversary couldn’t have come at a better time. His memory couldn’t have come back at a better time. Siwon wanted tonight to be perfect. If everything goes according to plan (Jungsu was going to accept his proposal, right?), they were going to have two things to celebrate tonight. He couldn’t wait to make Jungsu completely his.

 

 

Siwon was the first to arrive at the park as he had to set the place up before Jungsu comes with the foods. He immediately went to their special spot, bringing all the necessary items for them to have the date. Their special spot is very strategic. It was near a gazebo (where Siwon planned to dance with and propose to Jungsu later) and overlooking the crystal clear lake.

Perfect atmosphere for a romantic proposal to be carried out.

Siwon first laid the blue cloth he brought on the ground and found some rocks that were heavy enough to keep the cloth in place. Next, he took out the fresh, white flowers that he bought. He had bought three different kinds of flowers to commemorate their three years of anniversary. One kind was lilies, the other some carnations, and the most significant are the roses.

The lilies and the carnations were used to decorate the blue cloth, by placing them all around the cloth, giving the illusions of a white garden paradise. He also made a trail in two parallel lines, alternating between the lilies and the carnations, leading to the gazebo. At the gazebo, he scattered the white roses’ petals on the floor and put a bouquet of them on every alternate pillar. He hoped it wasn’t too much in Jungsu’s view. He really wanted Jungsu to feel like he’s in heaven because Jungsu deserves everything.

He chose the color white not only because it was Jungsu’s favorite color, but also that the color white had always been associated with purity and innocence. He wanted to convey that their love will always stay pure and innocent, untainted from any cruelty that the world brings. Other than that, he picked the white roses because of the deep and heartfelt meaning behind them.

He found out about the white roses accidentally when he was browsing the internet a week ago. The website had said that white roses are perfect if we want to convince our affections are straight from the heart. This is because white roses – which are sometimes called “the flower of light” – meant everlasting love. A love that is stronger than death, an eternal love, undying and all sustaining. It speaks of a capacity to worship someone until death, the unchanging loyalty that endures beyond all else. He wanted Jungsu to know that he is his light and that he will forever stay faithful to Jungsu alone.

After he was finished preparing, he double checked everything and grinned in satisfaction. He felt his pocket to make sure that the little box containing the ring was still there and grabbed on it tightly. Now all he had to do was wait for Jungsu.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Jungsu was still at the mall, waiting for Siwon’s gift to be done. He waited patiently because he knew the shop owner doesn’t like to be pressured into rushing the quality of his work. And because he knows the gift is almost done anyway.

When it was finally finished a few minutes later, Jungsu paid and thanked the shop owner for his hard work. Jungsu came out of the shop humming happily and maybe skipped a little bit (not that he will ever admit it) because he managed to get Siwon’s gift done in time. He could already picture Siwon’s expression once he presented the gift to him later. The waiting would be worth it.

He fastened his pace once he saw the exit of the mall a few feet away. He really needs to get home quickly if he wanted to be on time for his date with Siwon in half an hour. His heart was beating wildly at that thought. He could somehow feel that something good was going to happen tonight. Oh, how he couldn’t wait to see his boyfriend!

When he was almost near the exit, he was suddenly grabbed by two pairs of strong, rough hands into the nearest emergency staircase. No one saw him being captured because the place was quite deserted. He tried to scream, but his mouth was instantly covered with a cloth. He opted to struggle as much as he can, but he wasn’t strong enough when compared with the two bulky figures of his kidnapper.

“Release him.” A feminine, familiar voice greeted his hearing. He felt the two pairs of arm releasing their hold on him. He then turned around to look where the source of the voice was coming from.

“Jessica?!” Jungsu gaped at the figure that was slowly making her way towards him. The figure, or Jessica, as Jungsu had recognized her, looked at him with pure hatred that Jungsu had ever seen in someone’s eyes before.

“Hello, dear Jungsu. Miss me?” Jessica smirked with a tint of mockery on her tone.

“Jessica, what are you doing? And why are you here? Weren’t you supposed to be somewhere overseas continuing your studies?” Jungsu tried to keep his composure calm and his voice steady. But, he cannot deny that he felt a little scared at what Jessica might want to do.

Jessica replied with a shrilly laugh that got Jungsu’s hair to stand on end and made him prickled with fear. “Why? Can’t wait to get rid of me, Jungsu? And here I thought you were happy to see me. What a shame. I was excited to get to meet you.” Jessica proceeded to drag her perfectly manicured dark green nails across Jungsu’s chin. Jungsu couldn’t help but flinched in reflex.

“Umm, I-I didn’t mean that, Jess–”

“I hate you, do you know that?” Jessica abruptly stated.

“Pardon?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me. I knew you weren’t fooled with my ‘innocence’ that I carefully portrayed in front of Siwon. I saw in your eyes how you were meticulously calculating my action,” Jessica snapped.

‘True. She has a point.’ Jungsu thought.

Jungsu had met Jessica around two years ago, the same amount of time he had met Siwon. It was through Siwon that he knew Jessica. Don’t get the situation wrong. Before you assume anything, Jungsu certainly did not steal Siwon away from Jessica. No, Jungsu is not that low. Jessica was nowhere near to be called as Siwon’s girlfriend. A friend, yes, but not more than that. If anything, Jessica was the one who was crushing hard on Siwon. Siwon had no romantic feelings for Jessica at all. Not even an ounce.

To cut a long story short, Jessica had genuinely believed that Siwon was just as much as in love with her the way she was with him. So, she confessed. The answer, as expected, was not favorable on Jessica’s side. She was let down gently by Siwon, saying he had already fallen for someone else and that to him, he had only viewed Jessica as a friend and a sister at max.

Jessica had relented and said that as long as Siwon was happy, then she was happy for him as well. She had given her sweetest smile and congratulated Siwon at his relationship with Jungsu. A few days after that, she had called and said that she was furthering her study overseas. She called to say goodbye and good luck in their future undertakings. That phone call was the last time they had heard from Jessica.

“I tried so hard to be with Siwon. It took me five years to get him to agree to go out with me. I was finally happy that I made progress. Then you came. Siwon just had to immediately fall for you. He rejected me instantly. Do you know how hurt I was?” Jessica flared up.

“Sorry, I hate to burst your bubble or anything, but Siwon had only agreed to go out with you because you said I was going with you guys. I was there, remember? And surely you didn’t forget you were the one who locked me in the men’s bathroom? I saw you, Jessica. I just didn’t have the heart to tell Siwon about it. I was lucky that someone had opened the door for me a few minutes after that,” Jungsu retorted sarcastically.

“Ah, so you are not that stupid as I presume, then.”

“What do you take me for? You? Besides, I thought you weren’t angry anymore. I thought you accepted us. What with the call and everything.”

“I stand corrected. You are pathetically naïve. Your thoughts are obviously wrong. Do you think I’m the kind of person to just let it go? If I can’t be with Siwon, no one else can be with him.”

Jungsu started to become nervous. He doesn’t like where the conversation was going. There was something in Jessica’s tone that’s really creeping him out. It has to stop and Siwon might be wondering where he is right now.

“Look Jessica, I’m sorry, but–”

SLAP!

Jungsu felt his left cheek burned with the intensity of Jessica’s anger. He could also feel the metallic taste of his blood on his lips. He gulped. Jessica has a very powerful hand.

“Shut up! I wasn’t finish! Moving on, after thinking for a while and observing as much as I could, I came up with a brilliant idea. What if you were gone?”

Jungsu shuddered at her tone. He desperately wanted to stop the one-sided conversation and to feel safe in Siwon’s arms. But he didn’t dare to interrupt Jessica again, lest she gave the same treatment of abuse to his right cheek. He wanted to run, seeing as the door was just a few feet away from him, but the two bulky guys who captured him was standing guard preventing him from escaping. Jungsu could only hope nothing bad was going to happen to him.

“If you were to disappear, for sure Siwon would have his eyes on me. He would surely look at me again. He will be so devastated that you are no longer in his life and I will be there for him as a shoulder for him to lean on. With that, he will fall for me seeing as I was the one beside him all this time,” Jessica sighed dreamily.

That’s it. This really has to stop. Jessica sounded as if she was going crazy by the second.

“Jess–”

“Again, you just had to ruin everything,” Jessica’s expression changed into one with a malicious intent.

Jungsu braved himself and asked, “Oh? Do explain how I ruin things again. It seems to you that I am to be blame for all your mistak–”

“You let him borrow your car!” Jessica roared in annoyance. That bastard still have the decency to mock her when she clearly has the upper hand in this battle.

“What are you talking about? What does lending my car has anything to do with me ruining your plan?”

“That day it was supposed to be you who was involved in that accident, you idiot! It was not supposed to be Siwon! He was supposed to be safe and had no relation with the accident in whatever way!” Jessica revealed.

Jungsu felt his body went rigid as he froze hearing what Jessica had just declared.

“Y-You mean t-that accident…S-Siwon…was on p-purpose?” Jungsu stammered as the realization of what Jessica had stated started to sink in his brain. “H-How…could y-you? How could you?!” Jungsu screamed at her.

“Because I would have done anything for Siwon to be mine!” Jessica shouted back.

“Siwon could have been killed, Jessica! He could have died! Are you insane?” Jungsu was exasperated. What was she thinking? Oh God, they have been wrong all this while. It had nothing to do with Siwon’s company or his rival. It was Jessica!

“Maybe I am! But Siwon is mine. He belongs with me. Do you know how tempted I was to just kill you with my bare hands? For your information, I never did further my study anywhere. I was here, keeping it low, observing you two. I watched your every movement and memorized the places you went. I plotted all kinds of scenario to get rid of you. Again, this is entirely your fault. You were the one who lent your car to him. It was supposed to be you that day!”

Jungsu couldn’t believe it. Jessica was not only a crazy, delusional person; she was also a possible murderer and stalker. Something is definitely wrong with her. Jungsu felt terrified for his own life and was determined to just push his way through the two muscular guys.

“You’re absolutely crazy, Jessica. You’re lucky he just lost his memory and not his life. You know what, this conversation is over. I don’t need to be here to listen to you rant and complain about me ruining things for you. You have to accept that all of this is your own fault and your own mistake. Siwon and I have nothing to do with you anymore,” Jungsu gave his ultimatum and walked towards the door.

As things would have it, Jessica would not let Jungsu past her easily.

“No! I’m not done with you!” Jessica grabbed his arm forcefully.

“But I am, Jessica.” Hearing that, Jessica tightened her grip on Jungsu’s arm and even went as far as digging her nails into Jungsu’s skin. Jungsu cringed at the pain. He was sure there were going to be red marks on his arm later in the shape of crescent moons.

“Let go, Jess–”

“What do you have that I don’t? Even when he lost his memory, he is still able to love you. Why couldn’t it be me? Why did you have to come and destroy everything? Why do you have to exist?” Just as she said that, Jessica did something that Jungsu didn’t predict was going to happen.

Jessica pushed him down the stairs violently.

Jungsu felt the life left him once he realized that he was falling down the stairs. His heart thundered wildly and he resigned to his fate. He was ready to feel the pain that he will be experiencing, but Siwon’s image flashed through his head. He came out of his mind and in reflex, gripped a hold on something to prevent himself from falling.

It just so happen that the thing, or person, closest to him was Jessica. Jungsu didn’t mean it, but when he grabbed her arm, he unintentionally made her lose her balance and Jessica find herself falling with Jungsu down the staircase. Jessica herself wasn’t prepared for the turn of event and she certainly didn’t expect that Jungsu would have pulled her too. She was too shocked to do anything and she let herself fall to gravity’s whim. Even the two men that Jessica hired were too shocked to lift a finger and could only stare at the scene happening in front of their eyes.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Jungsu didn’t turn up for their date.

At first, Siwon let it slide and waited patiently for half an hour. He was familiar with the term ‘fashionably late’ and assumed that Jungsu was taking his time to pick out his outfit. He couldn’t argue with that. It had taken Siwon to turn his wardrobe upside down just to find the perfect article of clothing so that he may look handsome or at least presentable for Jungsu. He also remembered Jungsu saying something about needing to take care of last minute preparation for his gift. Maybe that was what’s holding him up.

Then, he thought that maybe, somehow, Jungsu got the knowledge about his supposed proposal and didn’t dare to come to their date in fear of hurting Siwon, should he reject his proposal. He then crossed the thought out of his mind and tried to think a bit more logically.

Jungsu wouldn’t do that. Anyway, they had already planned this date with great detail and it’s seems impossible for Jungsu to bail out on him for that mere reason. And, sue him if you want, but he was confident and had great trust that Jungsu does love him very much. So, no, he was sure that Jungsu didn’t ‘run away’ from this date.

But one hour passed.

It slowly became two.

Finally, it became three.

Siwon did try calling Jungsu’s phone that it rivaled as being the same level as that of a stalker. He lost count how many calls and messages he had sent to Jungsu. In the end, he couldn’t take the queasy feelings weighing on him. He packed up and drove his way to Jungsu’s house, in case Jungsu was actually there.

 

 

Jungsu wasn’t there.

Siwon was now in the living room of Jungsu’s house, pacing every inch of the carpet covered tiled floor. Jungsu’s parents and sister were sitting on the couch. Jungsu’s family had thought that Jungsu was with him. They, too, were feeling livid as they couldn’t get a hold of Jungsu. The feeling of uneasiness pressed down even more and Siwon’s panic quickly arise. Where was Jungsu? The question lingered between them unanswered. They couldn’t report him missing as Jungsu hasn’t been gone for twenty four hours yet.

All they could do was wait.

And wait they did, while the clock’s two hands keeps ticking to almost four hours of Jungsu’s absence.

Just before the clock strike twelve, the house phone rang, alerting them with the sound and pulling them from their worried thoughts. They looked at each other and the sense of trepidation hang thicker around them with the presence of the ringing.

Mr. Park lifted the phone to his ear with shaking hands.

“H-Hello?” Mr. Park waited for the person on the other line to greet back.

“Yes, I’m his father.”

Mr. Park remain silent for the rest of the phone conversation, but responded with the occasional ‘hmm’, ‘uh huh’, and ‘okay’ to indicate that he was listening to every word that was spoken to him. The rest of the family members and Siwon kept exchanging glances to each other to try and figure out what was going on between the conversations.  

Finally, after quite a long time, the conversation halted and Mr. Park put down the phone back to its place. He lifted his head slowly and looked at the expecting expressions that were present on everyone’s face. He opened his mouth and barely managed to choke out the word “Hospital…” before succumbing to his emotion and collapsed into tears. 

“D-Dear, w-what do y-you mean? W-What happened to J-Jungsu?” Mrs. Park proceeded to ask her husband.

“H-He was pushed d-down the stairs by s-someone named Jessica. They don’t k-know what or how it happened, but b-both she and Jungsu f-fell down the stairs together. That girl instantly d-died as she went head on and was the f-first to fall, experiencing all the impact o-on her body. Jungsu was l-lucky b-because his fall was c-cushioned by t-that girl’s body, so his i-injury was r-reduced to only a broken left arm.” Here, Mr. Park paused for a while to calm down and catch his breath. He then resumed gravely, “But, his head suffered quite a concussion. His head collided with one of the steps of the stairs and he lost quite an amount of blood. They manage to replenish back the blood and he’s now in a stable condition.”

Siwon felt the breath was knocked out of him. He almost couldn’t breathe. All that was running through his mind were Jungsu, hospital, blood, concussion, and Jessica. He remembered her. The question is why did she push Jungsu? Wasn’t she supposed to be somewhere abroad? What happened between them? Siwon felt an incoming headache with all the things swirling in his mind. First thing first, Jungsu is the main priority.

“W-Where is Jungsu now? Which hospital?” he asked Mr. Park.

“The hospital where you were placed when you had that accident. The one where that friend of yours and Jungsu works. Donghee was it?” Mr. Park replied.

“I’m going,” Siwon voiced out firmly.

“But Siwon, it’s already late at night now. Why don’t we all go tomorrow morning, okay? For now, let’s get some rest and we’ll visit Jungsu first thing in the morning,” Inyoung gave her opinion.

“B-But, I w–”

“Son, get some sleep. We’re all exhausted from worrying and waiting. It will be good for us to be fresh when we meet with Jungsu later. Jungsu will be fine. He’s in good hands, isn’t he?” Mr. Park reasoned, with an underlying tone that indicates there’s no room for other arguments.

Siwon tried to protest again, but Inyoung laid her hand on his shoulder. “Donghee’s going to take good care of him, Siwon. You trust him, don’t you?”

Siwon reluctantly acquiesce seeing Mr. Park’s stern face and hearing Inyoung’s assurance. In a way, they were right. But that still doesn’t quell his desire of wanting to see Jungsu badly. He was worried, dammit! Can you blame him?

Regardless, he did go home and took a restless, dreamless sleep.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

For three days straight, Siwon never got bored or tired of visiting and accompanying Jungsu in the hospital every day. That also means that Jungsu has been in a coma for three days.

Donghee had informed them that though Jungsu was in a safe condition, they cannot predict when he actually would wake up from his slumber. His head suffered a great hit and it does affect Jungsu in some ways. They can only hope that Jungsu had a strong enough will to go on and keep alive. As of now, everything depends on how strong Jungsu’s inner spirit is.

That explains why Siwon was loyal and insisted in being by Jungsu’s side. He refused to be apart from Jungsu for a long time. If possible, he wanted to watch Jungsu 24/7. It took a lot of convincing from Jungsu’s family and Donghee for Siwon to at least bath and changed his clothes, let alone eating more than a quarter of his meal.

Siwon didn’t care. He did not want to lose Jungsu. He cannot imagine if Jungsu were to leave him. Especially now that that he have gotten back his memories. So every day, he never failed to talk to Jungsu and try coaxing him to wake up. Jungsu has to live.

He has to.

Because Siwon would not be held responsible for his action if Jungsu were to really leave him.

As per usual, Siwon is sitting beside Jungsu’s bed, holding on to his hand to let Jungsu know that he will never let go of him. That he will never leave Jungsu alone. He kissed the back of Jungsu’s hand tenderly with love.

“Sweetheart, I missed you. Won’t you open up your eyes for me? I’ll do anything to see those eyes of yours looking at me again. Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?”

He caressed Jungsu’s closed eyes, inwardly wishing and willing for it to open. He leaned in and kissed Jungsu’s left cheek.

“Don’t you miss me? Don’t you want to know that I succeeded in gaining back my memory? Or are you angry with me for not remembering you? I promise to never ever forget you for the rest of my life, sweetheart. Just p-please…please wake up…come back to me…” he whispered brokenly. A lone tear escaped his eyes and he tightened his hold on Jungsu’s hand.

“Ahem.” A hand landed on his shoulder. He almost fell down his chair in surprised. It was Donghee. He didn’t even hear the doctor came in.

“Siwon, how about you go to the bathroom and freshened up a bit? Then, go down to the cafeteria and have something warm to drink. You need to strengthen your energy. Can you do that? I promise I’ll call you if anything comes up with Jungsu. Let me just do a brief checkup on him, alright?”

Siwon nodded. He didn’t have the strength to argue. On top of that, he felt a little guilty for making them worried about him. He trusts Donghee. Jungsu will be fine. On his way to the bathroom, his stomach grumbled. Maybe he really does need to feed his stomach with something heavy, rather than just a piece of toast or a biscuit.

 

 

Meanwhile, in Jungsu’s room, Donghee was kind of surprised how easy it took him to coax Siwon into leaving Jungsu’s side for a while. But hey, he’s not complaining. Siwon needs to take care of his health too. He has been mopping for the past three days already.

He then turned to look at the figure on the bed.

Jungsu, his best friend.

He released a sigh. ‘Jungsu, what did you get yourself into?’

Donghee moved closer and proceeded to do the checkup. While he was in the middle of it, a sudden movement caught his eye. He halted his action, lean a little backwards, and waited.

One second…

Two second…

Three sec–

There!

Jungsu’s fingers just moved!

“Nngh…” Was that–

“Jungsu? Can you hear me?”

“Urgh…” came another grunt from Jungsu.

“Jungsu! You’re finally awake!” Donghee can barely contain his excitement. He couldn’t wait to tell Si–Of course! Siwon! He has to call Siwon. But, he can’t just leave Jungsu like that.

He looked out of the room and found his solution. Nurse Sooyoung was perfectly in the right place at the right time. He told her to call Siwon up and also to inform Jungsu’s family that Jungsu is finally showing signs of consciousness.

“D-Donghee?” Jungsu croaked.

Donghee immediately turned his head and saw Jungsu trying to sit up. He rushed to his side and guided Jungsu carefully so that he can sit comfortably. He then checked Jungsu’s condition, trying to see if anything was amiss. He paid particular attention to his head where Jungsu experience the most impact. So far, he is satisfied as Jungsu looked very healthy, despite a little weak.

Just to make sure he started asking question.

“What’s your name?”

“Donghee, what are you trying to do? Don’t tell me something happened to you too that resulted in you not knowing my name.” Well, Jungsu sounds healthy.

“Just answer the question, please.”

“Fine, my name is Park Jungsu. What happened to me though? Why am I here? My head really hurts like hell, like it’s about to explode or something. And why do I keep having images of stairs? And a blonde…girl? Woman? Arghhh…and two big men?” Jungsu clamped his eyes tightly while massaging his head repeatedly.

“Jungsu, relax. Stop thinking for a while and breathe. Don’t stress yourself. You’re still too weak,” Donghee advised. “Here, how about you lie back down? Let me take a look at your head again.”

Jungsu complied. He blinked a few times and looked around the room. He never thought he’ll end up in the hospital again. That thought startled him that he almost jumped out.

“Jungsu! What’s wrong?” Donghee swiftly stopped Jungsu from falling off the bed.

“D-Donghee, I didn’t d-do what I t-think I did, right? I didn’t do anything s-stupid again, right?”

It took a while for Donghee to comprehend what Jungsu was saying. When he finally got it, he was quick to assure him.

“No! Of course not. Calm down, we’ll discussed why you’re here later. Right now, you should be resting. Don’t over exert yourself. Siwon will kill me if I let anything happen to you now that you’re awake.” Donghee failed to notice the furrow of Jungsu’s eyebrow.

“Sorry, I’ll rest. But, who’s–” Jungsu suddenly stopped his question.

“What Jungsu? Who’s what?”

“Who is that?” Jungsu inquired, while scrutinizing his eyes at something.

Donghee followed his line of vision and found he was looking at a picture of Siwon and Jungsu together. Siwon had brought the framed picture to be put on the bedside table so that if Siwon was not there when Jungsu was awake; the picture could be the substitute.

“Umm, what do you mean?” Donghee was starting to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Exactly what I mean, Donghee. Who is that guy in the picture beside me? Do I know him? Why do we look so close?”

“S-Seriously? Y-You don’t know w-who he is?”

“No. Should I? Oh yes, continuing from earlier, who’s, uh, what did you say just now? That name…”

It was at that time that Siwon decided to make his appearance and burst through the door of Jungsu’s room.

“Ah! Who’s Siwon?”

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Siwon froze.

Did he heard that question right? 

No, it couldn’t be. His mind must have been doing tricks on him again. He really should get some more sleep to fend of his illusion. After he sees Jungsu’s condition and deemed him alright, of course.

He trudged slowly to Jungsu, who was looking at him blankly. But Siwon was too happy to see that Jungsu finally woke up. He stopped right in front of Jungsu and stretched out his hand to envelop Jungsu in his embrace. Tightly, as if Jungsu will slip out of his hand at any moment.

And slip out of his hand Jungsu did.

Or more like Jungsu shoved him hard towards the floor.

“Who are you and what right do you have to touch me?” Siwon blinked from his position on the floor.

“Sweetheart, what are you talking about? It’s me. S-Stop playing around, okay?”

Donghee didn’t know what to do. He could only stare at the scene commencing in front of his eyes. He has this great suspicion that Jungsu wasn’t playing around. He really hoped he was wrong. Please, let him be wrong.

“What part of ‘who are you’, don’t you understand? Look, I don’t know who you think you are to me, but let me clear something up. The only people who get to hug me are my family and Heechul. Even Donghee here is not allowed to hug me, except for maybe certain reasons. So what makes you think you have that privilege? And what’s with calling me sweetheart? Who am I to you?”

Yup, the situation is really messed up. Donghee regretted on why he chose this profession. Maybe he should have just been a chef. He doesn’t have to deal with all the dramas involving his work. Somehow, he experienced more real life drama then what the television can offer him. And this is only about Siwon and Jungsu. He hasn’t counted his other patients yet. But then again, if he wasn’t a doctor, he wouldn’t be able to treat Siwon and Jungsu if they ever were met with other accidents. Let’s hope not.

Wait. Since when was this about his career? Shouldn’t he be worrying about both Jungsu and Siwon? Oh God, he’s losing it. His sanity is not safe by just handling these two. Why did he have to be their friends?

“Umm, Siwon? I think you should leave first? I’ll talk to you later. If that’s alright with you,” Donghee said, trying to not offend either two of them.

Siwon felt dejected. His face fell and he felt all the energy drained out from him. Does Jungsu really doesn’t recognized him? Nevertheless, he picked himself of off the floor in a weak manner. His eyes never left Jungsu, who was now looking at him curiously.

“He’s Siwon? The guy in the picture and this Siwon person is the same? Donghee, really, who is he?” Jungsu shifted his attention towards the anxious doctor.

That hurts.

Siwon staggered in disbelief at what he was hearing. Why is this happening? What did they do wrong to warrant them this kind of fate? Were they really not meant to be?

A sudden commotion of voices interrupted their musings. They all turned to look at the door and in came three people. Jungsu’s family.  Siwon could only stare at them helplessly.

Jungsu’s parents immediately went to hug their son. Mrs. Park cried in happiness at seeing her son awake and couldn’t stop showering Jungsu’s face with kisses. Inyoung noticed Siwon first, who was in the corner, and was confused with the forlorn expression he wore or why he wasn’t beside her brother.

“Mom! Dad! Am I glad to see you! Inyoung, what are you doing standing there? Doesn’t a brother deserve a hug from his sister?”

“Huh? Oh, of course Jungsu.” Inyoung made her way and joined the group hug with her parents. “But, um, why is Siwon standing there?”

“My question exactly. I don’t know why he’s here. Wait, you know him? You know his name is Siwon?” Jungsu scrunched his face.

Gasps were elicited from three different mouths.

“J-Jungsu?”

“What? What did I say? Is there something wrong?”

“Uh, no, nothing’s wrong Jungsu. They’re, uh, just as surprised. That’s all,” Donghee gestured to them to just follow his lead.

Siwon’s heart broke. He was clearly not needed by Jungsu. He went out of the room as fast as his feet could muster and sat on the first chair he could see. Then he broke into sobs, not caring how he looked like or who’s looking at him. It didn’t matter anymore.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

“Donghee, just…spit it out. Whatever you’ll say won’t make any difference. It wouldn’t change the fact that Jungsu doesn’t remember me. Unless what you’re going to tell me is that his condition will affect his life. He’s not going to die, is he?” Siwon spoke tiredly, which then escalated into panic.

“No, nothing like that. Jungsu’s safe. But as you said, his memory might not be,” Donghee’s not sure whether he’s assuring Siwon or the opposite, as his answer was contradictory.

“Was it the same condition as mine? Did he lose a few years of his memory too?”

“No, it’s different from your case. It’s hard for me to tell you because not much thing we can say about Jungsu’s condition. It’s a bit complicated and I’m not sure if it would be…curable. Jungsu might never be able to remember you again.”

“You make it sound like this is something terrible. The way you phrase it is also somehow implying as if–”

“Selective memory loss.”

“What did you say? Because I could’ve sworn you said something about select–”

“I did, Siwon. I did. And that’s the only explanation to describe what Jungsu is going through. I know you have been reading a lot on articles about memory loss, yes? I’m sure you have stumbled upon this particular reading. Selective memory loss is in which the brain selects the memory that it doesn’t want to remember. In Jungsu’s case, it’s–”

“Everything related to me,” Siwon finished quietly.

“Well, yes. Everything related to you. Including your family and all. As if he never knew you existed.”

“Does that also mean that he doesn’t want to remember me on his own freewill? Was he that upset that I didn’t remember him? Did I…am I…not worth it?”

“Siwon! Don’t say that! Of all things that you should doubt, never ever questioned the love Jungsu had–still has–for you. I know Jungsu, Siwon. He’s not that type of person. You know that too,” Donghee reprimanded sternly.

“It did take me a long time to win his heart. I still feel insecure about that, Donghee. And Heechul still means a lot to him. Are you sure there were no romantic feelings involve? What if they did have feelings for each other?”

“Great, I am stuck with two idiots. How can you guys be so different yet so similar in some ways? Are you both heavily vision impaired? You two are crazily in love with each other, okay? Why do you guys have the need to feel so insecure? A blind person can see and feel the aura you guys emit whenever you are together. About Heechul, of course Heechul means a lot to Jungsu. And no, their relationship was not the romantic kind. They were just very close. As if they were twins. I thought you understand that!”

“I do, but sometimes, I don’t know…I feel so…” Siwon trailed off, not sure on what exactly is he trying to say.

“Then don’t feel anything else. Trust Jungsu and trust your heart. You two are meant to be together. No matter what comes in the way. Now, I’m going to give you the same advice I had given Jungsu when you lose your memory. Even if Jungsu never remembers you again, you will find your way back to each other. The love you guys have is something impossible to forget. You just have to be patient and be strong for a while longer. All you have to do is search relentlessly deep inside his heart that he still loves you regardless of not knowing who you are. Will you be able to do that? You’re stronger than you think, you know.”

“You sure about this, Donghee? Would it not make Jungsu hates me even more? And aren’t doctor not supposed to give high hope?” Siwon chewed his lips, still a bit unconvinced.

“Jungsu can never hate you. You’re the love of his life. Still is and forever will be. Come on, Siwon. Jungsu will only come back to you if you do this. He never gave up on you, didn’t he? So, you shouldn’t give up too until you at least try. Promise me you will get Jungsu back. Not just as a friend, but as a lover.”

“You’re right. I will never forgive myself if I ever let Jungsu go. I love him and he loves me. That fact alone should be enough. Thank you, Donghee. You’ve been a great help. I’m sorry that you have to be stuck with being my friend.”

“And that answers your last question. I may be a doctor, but most importantly, I am both your friend. I want you guys to be happy. And being together makes both of you happy. I don’t ever want to see you guys separated.”

“Of course, Donghee. I promise you, we will be happy. I’ll make sure of it. Jungsu will forever be mine. You can count on it,” Siwon vowed, not only to Donghee, but also to himself.

 

 

OOOOO