“Who ever said I’m yours?”

“Would you agree if I said it was you?”

“Me? I said that? Are you sure you weren’t imagining it?”

“Positive. In exchange, I’m yours too, sweetheart.”

Jungsu turned slightly pink when he felt Siwon’s breath caressing his ear, while huskily saying those words in an enticing voice. Siwon smirked. He finally gets to see that Jungsu is just as much and still affected whenever he does that. Siwon knew Jungsu’s ears were a bit sensitive and he used that knowledge fully to his advantage.

“S-Shut up! Can you just stop with all of this? I don’t remember who you are, and right now, I feel nothing for you. Why aren’t you giving up?” Jungsu knows he sounds cruel, but he doesn’t know any other way to stop Siwon from pursuing him. He’s really serious; he doesn’t feel anything for Siwon. His heart doesn’t pound at double speed and his stomach does not contain any butterflies going haywire. Even a fleeting something is absent.

In all honesty, he knew something was wrong when he met and declared that he didn’t know who Siwon was at the hospital. He was not easily fooled and he can sense they were hiding something from him. It was only after Donghee had thoroughly checked him with the advanced machines the hospital have that he was told what is actually happening to him.

Selective memory loss, Donghee had said.

In which, his brain selects things that he doesn’t want to remember. To Jungsu, it was a pretty obvious explanation. Something must have happened that involves that Siwon guy for him to choose not to remember that guy. To him, it’s nothing much. He was happy enough that he remembers his family. That’s all that matters.

And Heechul, of course. He would never want to forget Heechul, no matter what. It’s bad enough that he lost him; he doesn’t want their memories to disappear to. But don’t misunderstand their relationship, okay? They’re not lovers, but they’re more than just best friend. It’s complicated for him to explain, so let’s just leave it at that. He really misses Heechul sometimes. Heechul would know what to do in this kind of circumstances.

“Why would I give up? You’re my boyfriend and I love you, even if you forgot who I am. You’re worth everything, Jungsu. I will never give up or stop in making you fall for me again. We’re meant to be and I’m not going to reject what destiny has already written for us, okay?”

“Fine, be that way. Do whatever you want. But, I’m warning you, I might never fall in love with you. Ever. You deal with the consequences on your own. Anyway, I’m going home. Thanks for treating me to ice-cream. I appreciate it,” Jungsu replied nonchalantly.

Siwon could only watch as Jungsu walked away from him. He sighed. No worries, there’s plenty of times for him to make Jungsu fall for him again. He did it once successfully, what’s stopping him from doing it the second time? Or the third? He’s confident that he’ll be able to capture Jungsu’s heart again.

 

 

First attempt: Direct confrontation.

Verdict: Wrong method. Unsuccessful and no achievement whatsoever.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Jungsu stood outside of the hospital after he finished his checkup with Donghee. Donghee had told him to wait so that he can send Jungsu home as soon as he settled some things. A few minutes of waiting, a black car suddenly strode in front of him. It stopped, and Jungsu saw the window of the passenger’s sit rolled down, revealing the person inside.

“Hey! Want to catch a ride with me?” the person offered.

“Siwon? What are you doing here? And no thanks, I’m waiting for Donghee. He’ll send me home,” Jungsu declined.

“Come on Jungsu, hop on. I bet you that Donghee might just not be able to send you home.”

“And why’s that? How would you know?” Jungsu narrowed his eyes at Siwon and just as he said that, a message beeped from his phone. It was Donghee:

Jungsu, I’m sorry. I have something else to do. It will take a long time and I don’t what to make you wait. I would have asked you to take a taxi home, but I’m worried about you. So, I called Siwon to fetch you. I hope you don’t mind. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up next time.

Jungsu closed his phone in a resigned manner. He wouldn’t have minded to just hail a taxi. But since Donghee was the one who called Siwon, how can he refuse? He let out a big sigh and made his way to the expensive looking car (an Audi R8, Jungsu noted), and looked at the owner who was grinning widely.

“See? I told you,” Siwon remarked, his grin getting wider when he saw Jungsu walking towards his car.

“Oh, shut it. You don’t have to be smug about it. Just take me home, alright?”

“Sure. Home it is,” Siwon smirked.

Jungsu felt suspicious of the smirk, but chose to ignore it. Then, 10 minutes into their journey, he regretted not paying heed to his instinct. The route Siwon was currently driving on was not the way to his house.

“Where the heck are you taking me to? I want to go home, Siwon.”

“What’s the rush, sweetheart? Don’t you want to spend some time with me? I promise I’ll make it worth your while, okay? Just sit back and relax. I’m not going to do anything to harm you.”

“How can I be sure?” Jungsu muttered under his breath. Siwon heard it anyway and smiled. He had forgotten how stubborn Jungsu can be. He recalled how Jungsu was exactly like this when he had first met Jungsu and declared that Jungsu will be his. He had fought hard to win Jungsu’s heart, and in the end, he succeeded.

After another 10 minutes, Siwon parked his car.

“We have arrived.” Siwon got out and went to open the door for Jungsu. Next, he went to the back of the car and pulled out a basket containing food.

“Considering the place and that basket, I’m guessing you’re taking me on a picnic?” Jungsu inquired.

“Smart guy,” Siwon beamed and Jungsu rolled his eyes.

“Right, it’s not really hard to figure it out you know. So, you kidnap me just for a picnic?”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong. It’s not just any picnic. It’s more of a reminiscence of our first date. We had planned together to relive the experience again. But something came up and we didn’t get the chance to carry out that plan,” Siwon elucidated.

“We did? What happened?”

Siwon slowed his step, turned to Jungsu, and gave a small smile. “Yes, it was for our third anniversary celebration. It was also the day when you had your accident. You didn’t turn up for the picnic date.”

“Oh,” Jungsu felt a little guilty for asking.

“It’s alright. You’re here now. I’ll consider it as you making compensation for that time,” Siwon responded cheerfully, trying to will away the gloom atmosphere.

“Okay, but just this one time. Just to eliminate whatever promises I had made before,” Jungsu agreed and walked ahead. Siwon stood at his spot, not making any move to follow Jungsu.

“But Jungsu, you made a lot of promises to me. Like the one about always being at my side or the one about never going to stop loving me. When will you continue to fulfill that promise?” Siwon murmured quietly to himself, looking at Jungsu’s figure.

“Well, are you coming or not? You better hurry up or I’ll change my mind,” Jungsu shouted from the distance.

“I’ll be right there, sweetheart.”

 

 

Second attempt: Whisking Jungsu away to a picnic date.

Verdict: Probably stirred Jungsu’s feeling a bit, although he had considered it as kidnapping. If Jungsu had an affection meter, it may increase to two bars. Better than nothing, right?

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Because his family was still worried of Jungsu’s condition, they had asked Jungsu to move back in to their house. Siwon was personally relieved because Jungsu is no longer near that Youngwoon guy. What if he took advantage of Jungsu not remembering Siwon as a sign that he can woo Jungsu continuously? Totally unacceptable. Jungsu is his only.

He had prepared another event that hopefully will raise Jungsu’s meter affection to at least one more bar. For the event to happen, Siwon had asked permission from both of Jungsu’s neighbors. And not forgetting, Jungsu’s family too.

He stood outside on the lawn at the back of Jungsu’s house. From where he’s standing, he got a clear view of Jungsu’s window. The light is still on. Perfect.

He fumbled with the five pebbles in his hand and started to throw it one by one to Jungsu’s window. At the fourth pebble, the window opened to reveal Jungsu who was adorning a cute blue-colored pajama. Jungsu stepped out into his balcony and peered downwards.

“Siwon?”

Siwon started singing a cheesy love song that he knew Jungsu liked (no matter how many times Jungsu insisted he didn’t) and climbed his way up the ladder he had situated against the balcony until he came face to face with Jungsu.

He finished the song abruptly, stepped down to the balcony, and handed Jungsu a bouquet of white roses.

Jungsu blinked trice before asking, “What are you doing?”

“Umm, serenading you?” Siwon scratched his neck, anticipating Jungsu’s response.

“Serenading? In the middle of the night?” A vein popped on Jungsu’s head and his left eye twitched slightly.  

“It’s r-romantic?” Siwon suddenly felt a heated aura engulfing him and he broke into a sweat. His plan had sounded like a good idea in his head, but now, he’s not so sure anymore.

“Get. Out.”

“Huh?”

“I said get out!” Jungsu pulled Siwon by his collar and dragged him to his door. He opened it and pushed Siwon out of his bedroom. Siwon should be thankful that Jungsu is a kind-hearted person. Believe it or not, Jungsu was very tempted to push Siwon from his balcony with the ladder. He was more than mad. No one, not even his family, was allowed to disturb him during his precious reading time. His favorite book at that.

Siwon was left on the floor and a slammed of the door was presented to his sight. Adding to his embarrassment, Jungsu’s family were all witnessing the event that had just occurred. Jungsu’s parents gave him an apologetic and sympathetic look. They too, didn’t know that Jungsu was reading or they might have stopped him from disrupting Jungsu’s date with his book. Inyoung offered her hand and helped him to his feet. Siwon bid them farewell and went out of the house with twin spots of red adorning his cheek.

 

 

Third attempt: Being romantic and serenading Jungsu.

Verdict: Complete and utter failure. Not to mention kicked out and embarrassed in front of Jungsu’s family. The meter affection might just as well be zero too.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

His attempt continued despite his embarrassing third attempt. Some of his attempts went well and some didn’t. The so-called meter affection that Siwon was convinced he can see, fluctuated often. But the highest level Siwon had ever come close to is up to five bars. He hasn’t managed to go beyond that. Yet, Siwon assured himself.

Though as strong as Siwon is, as unbreakable his love for Jungsu is, and as often he convinces himself that everything will work out, Siwon is still a mere human being. One with feelings. He would be lying if he said there wasn’t a time where he thought he wanted to give everything up. It didn’t help either that Jungsu once said that he hated him in one of his quest of conquering Jungsu’s heart.

“I love you, Jungsu,” Siwon had declared sincerely.

“Hn.” Jungsu gave a tiny response.

“And you love me too.” It was supposed to be a question, but Jungsu misinterpreted it as Siwon being overconfident. It irked Jungsu that Siwon thought he can dictate what he was supposed to be feeling.

“What makes you think I love you?” Jungsu asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

“Because I know you.”

“But I don’t.”

“Well, you did once,” Siwon clarified calmly.

“Exactly. Once. As in past tense. As in, I don’t remember you.”

“How about getting to know me again?” Siwon offered an alternative.

“Why should I? You’re annoying.”

“So that the flowers of our love will open its petal again and blossom to give out a sweet smelling fragrance,” Siwon playfully answered, trying hard not to take what Jungsu said to heart.  

“What, you’re a poet now?”

“What do you say? Let’s be friends.” Siwon ignored Jungsu’s sarcastic question and proceeded to ask another one.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Just because.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Do you love me?”

“Should I really answer that?”

“Do you–”

“How many questions do you have?!” Jungsu was getting exasperated at answering Siwon’s incessant questions.

“Do you hate me?” Siwon whispered, but audible enough for Jungsu to hear.

“Fine! Yes! Is that the answer you’re looking for? Are you happy now? Would you just leave me alone?” Jungsu didn’t really mean it, but he was a little desperate and suffocated what with all the questions.

Siwon, however, took it seriously.  

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

“Can I have your permission to give up?” Siwon was lying on the couch located in Donghee’s office with his arms covering his eyes.

“What are you talking about Siwon?” Donghee was in the midst of searching for a file that was relevant for his work, but he still managed to listen to Siwon’s question.

“Giving up on Jungsu.”

Donghee halted his movement. He finally found the file and sauntered to Siwon’s direction. Without any warning, he beat Siwon with the thick file right on his stomach. Siwon yelps at the unexpected pain.

“Ouch! What was that for?”

“To bring you back to your senses. Are you out of your mind?” Donghee said, without feeling any regret at smacking Siwon with the file. He asked for it.

“Jungsu said he hated me.”

“Did he really say that?”

Siwon hesitated for a while. “Not exactly. I asked and he agreed to it.”

Donghee beat him again, this time on the head. Siwon wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He rubbed his head in an attempt to sooth the pain. “Then, you’re making your own assumption. What did I tell you? Jungsu can never hate you. As long as he doesn’t say it outright, I know he doesn’t mean it.”

“But–”

“And what of your promise to me? Are you seriously going to break those promises just because Jungsu vaguely implied that he hates you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“There you go. That’s your answer. Now, if you want to stay here, feel free to do so. I have to go meet with the head of the anesthesiologist department, so I’m heading out. Goodbye, Siwon. And don’t you dare to think of giving up again or I’ll strangle you myself.” With that threat, Donghee went out of his office, leaving Siwon alone to contemplate what he wants to do next.

Siwon got up and stretched his muscle. He made his way out as he sees no point in staying any longer in Donghee’s office. He went to his car and started the engine. He drove without any destination planned and just let his instinct guide him. When he finally concentrated, he found himself stopping in front of Jungsu’s house. Right, of course his instinct led him here.

He got out and went to ring the bell. When the door opened, he was slightly disappointed because he was expecting Jungsu to greet him.

“Hello, Siwon. What brings you here?” Inyoung inquired confusedly.

“Hi, Inyoung. Is Jungsu inside? Can I see him?”

“How about you come in first? We’re having tea in a few minutes. Come and join us.”

“But, is Jungsu in?” Siwon still insisted in wanting to see Jungsu.

“Unfortunately, no. He went out with his friends. But, please, come in. We haven’t really had a good talk together.”

“Sure.” Siwon agreed. He was thinking he already went this far, why not spend a little time with Jungsu’s family, right?

“Hey, don’t look so sad. You usually come on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. If Jungsu knew you were coming over, I know he would have stayed home. Trust me, no matter how he denies it, he always wait for your presence during those three days. Today’s only Tuesday. You’ll get to meet him tomorrow.”

“Inyoung, if you guys don’t mind, may I go to Jungsu’s room for a while? I won’t touch anything. I just want to drop something off. It’s kind of personal.”

“It’s okay, you can go. I trust you know where my brother’s room is?” Siwon supplied her with a nod.

“I’ll call you down when tea is served.” Siwon went up the stairs and made his way to Jungsu’s room. He turned the knob and went inside.

Okay, he lied. He didn’t have anything to drop off. He just…he wanted to find…something. Anything, that might give him some reassurance that him pursuing Jungsu meant at least a little to Jungsu. That he was progressing somehow.

He let his eyes roam around the room, taking every little detail into consideration. Nothing. No indication whatsoever. He was about to head back down when he saw something peeking out from under the bed. He approached the thing.

It was a book.

Or some kind of a journal.

Something inside him urged him to open the journal. He doesn’t usually do this, but he really cannot quell his curiosity. Before he knows it, his fingers had already opened the cover to reveal…a blank page. Right, he was nervous for nothing. Then for no apparent reason, he decided to flip the pages.

And he stopped in the middle of the journal.

Oh, Jungsu did write something. When he read it, his eyes was suddenly filled with moist and his sight turned blurry.

The writing was about Jungsu’s plan in getting Siwon to fall back in love with him when Siwon lost his memory. God, reading it made him feel that he was so selfish and greedy. It was not even one month that Jungsu lost his memory, and Siwon already wanted to give up. Here, it took Jungsu a few months to make Siwon remember about their love. Jungsu was so strong.

He wiped his eyes and with newfound determination, he vowed to never think about giving up on Jungsu again. He closed the journal and put it back to its original place.

On his way out, he stumbled on the small bedside table and the bottom drawer opened on its own accord. He looked at the content of the drawer and saw something akin to a present box. It is a present box, and a small card was sticking out. He crouched down and with his eyes squinted, tried to read the small handwriting:

                        Happy 3^rd Anniversary, my Siwonnie! I love you <3

This must be the present Jungsu was talking about on that fateful day. He carefully slid the ribbon and opened the lid. What he saw made him gasped and tears started to gather at the corner of his eyes again. Jungsu is just so…perfect. He really is an angel.

The present was the stopwatch that his beloved grandmother gave to him. When his grandmother died, Siwon was so devastated that he had poured his anger towards the stopwatch by flinging it towards a wall. He had regretted it once his frustration subsided, but he never got to fix it. He doesn’t even know how Jungsu got a hold of the stopwatch. And to repair it, it must have cost a lot. Siwon was even more touched that Jungsu went to all the trouble to get it looking like its original state.

Yup, his mind and his heart are set. He will never give up and continue to love Jungsu, even if it takes the rest of his life.

Jungsu is worth everything.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Six months later, the progress was still the same. The meter affection fluctuated from time to time, though this time the highest he got to was six bars. That to Siwon, was an achievement enough. He had mentally calculated if it took him six months to achieve six bars, he might get to the tenth bar in two years’ time. Doesn’t matter, two years is nothing. Siwon was willing to wait forever, if he had his way.

His will and determination never once faltered. If ever, it got even stronger with the support from both his and Jungsu’s family and their mutual friends. He was glad that Jungsu’s friend deemed him the best thing that ever happen to Jungsu. He was honored that the people around them wanted to see him and Jungsu together. That’s more that he could ever ask for.

His sister also played a great part in giving him hope that one day Jungsu will accept his love again. Jiwon had said, “Never give up on a person, especially the person you’re in love with. Miracles happen every day.”

And Siwon had held on to that quote as his strength.

Now, he was on his way to meet Donghee for lunch. Donghee had told him to come up to his office if he came early. Siwon looked at his watch. It was 20 minutes before lunch time. That’s early, right?

He cannot wait to meet Donghee. He needed new advice and recommendation to win Jungsu’s affection. Donghee had known Jungsu for ten years. There’re bound to be something else that Donghee might know that can tear down Jungsu’s stubbornness.

He was near Donghee’s office when he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. Ah, Donghee must have finished early too. He hasten his stride and was about to push the door, when he heard voices talking inside. Siwon halted. When he tried to make out who the voice belong too, it sounded vaguely like Jungsu’s. He waited and eavesdrops to the conversation.

“I’m tired, Donghee.” Definitely Jungsu’s voice. But, what’s wrong with him? Is he sick? He was fine yesterday when Siwon had met him. Siwon badly wanted to interrupt them and asked if Jungsu was alright.

“I’m tired of Siwon.” Siwon’s heart momentarily stopped beating and he silently choked on his breath.

“He’s always chasing me around and always on my heels. I’m tired of hearing his reasons of loving me, I’m tired of him showing proofs of how in love we are, and I’m tired…of trying to remember something that I can’t. I’m just…so very tired.”

Siwon literally felt rather than heard the smashing of his heart into pieces. So that’s how Jungsu actually feels about him. Was he really that bothersome? Was he really that insensitive?

All thoughts of meeting Donghee flew from his head. He was too overwhelmed with emotion to meet Donghee right now. Heck, he was too overwhelmed to want to meet anyone right now. He cannot stand being in the same building with Jungsu, who had just declared that Siwon was some kind of a nuisance. So, he left while dragging the broken pieces of his heart, feeling very disheartened at the revelation that he heard.

The thing is it felt even more upsetting because he heard it right from Jungsu’s mouth. Once he was seated in his car, he allowed all his pent up frustration access to freedom and let himself cry uncontrollably.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

“Donghee.” A soft voice interrupted Donghee from whatever he was doing.

“Jungsu? What are you doing here? What’s with the sudden visit?”

“Are you busy?” Jungsu ignored the question directed to him.

“Now, no. I finished what I needed to do just now. But I do have a lunch appointment with–”

“You can spare me a couple of minutes, right?”

“I guess. I have 20 minutes before lunch. So, what is it?” Donghee figured that he will be able to make it on time with his appointment. Jungsu was, after all, a straightforward type of person. Whatever he’s going to say would be frank and straight to the core of his purpose.

“I want to say something. I need to say something. You’re the only person I trust who can bear with me.”

“Shoot away.” He gestured for Jungsu to sit down.

“But I have conditions for you to fulfill.”

“What kind of conditions?”

“Before I finish speaking, you are not allowed to interfere, or give opinion, or judge, or scold, or ask anything. If you want to do all that, wait until I’m really finished. You have my permission then. But, during the time I’m talking, I just need you to listen. Can you do that? Please?”

“Okay,” Donghee gave his affirmation.

Jungsu then launched into what he wanted to say without any hesitation and straight to the point. He told Donghee on how exhausted he was with Siwon’s presence. And true to his words, Donghee kept silent all through it.

Jungsu stopped talking for a while to catch his breath.

He then continued, “But most of all, I’m tired of running away and pretending. I don’t recognize Siwon. Not even in the slightest. But somehow, my heart does. Somehow, it’s telling me that I had loved Siwon once, and that I still do, despite the situation we’re in. Ironically, I want to be chased by him. I want to be held by him. I want to be loved by him. But…I’m scared.”

“What are you afraid of?” Donghee took the risk in asking. He thought it was necessary to prompt Jungsu to tell him what’s actually bothering him.

“Everything. What if I can never be his old Jungsu back? What if I’ll never regain my memory? What if he gets tired of me at some point? What if I break his heart over and over again? What if–”

“Jungsu.” Said person lifted his head to look at Donghee.

“Siwon loves you. Very much so. You’re the love of his life. Besides, when he lost his memory, did you ever get tired of him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember,” Jungsu said bitterly.

“Well, you didn’t. Just as same, Siwon won’t get tired of you,” Donghee answered anyway.

“I’m a different case. I’m not sure I will ever be able to remember him again. Siwon already regain his memory back. It’s not the same.”

There was a pregnant silence lingering in the air. Both didn’t know what else to say. It was Jungsu who broke the silence between them.

“Donghee, what do you think I should do?”

Donghee stared directly into Jungsu’s eyes, and replied, “I think you already know what you have to do, Jungsu.”

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Siwon didn’t call him.

Siwon didn’t text him.

He hasn’t bothered Jungsu for the last three days. Jungsu had waited patiently in the hope that Siwon would call and that they could talk. After his talk with Donghee last Sunday, Jungsu was determined to make everything right.

No matter how much he denied, Donghee was right. He himself already knows what needs to be done. He was just too stubborn to acknowledge it. Siwon had been chasing him for more than six months now. That has to mean something. He berated himself for never giving Siwon the chance.

When he left Donghee’s office that day, he stayed loyally beside his phone, waiting for any call and text from Siwon. But, none came. For three whole days, his phone stayed still. Jungsu desperately wanted to meet up with Siwon, but he was too shy to approach him after everything he had done and said. So, he opted to wait until today, which was a Wednesday, one of the days Siwon will come to his house and invite him out for brunch. He paced around his bedroom floor waiting for the clock to tell him that it’s 11.30 am.

When it finally showed the time that Jungsu had been waiting for, he went down and waited in the living room. Much to his disappointment, Siwon didn’t come. He looked at the clock hanging in the living room. He didn’t realize he was already waiting for Siwon for more than an hour.

Jungsu weigh down his last option; to call the Choi’s residence (he didn’t have the courage to call Siwon directly on his phone). Should he?

Oh, what the heck! Who is he kidding? Anything is better than him moping and wondering around waiting for Siwon. He braced himself and dialed the number.

“Hello?” A feminine voice answered. It was Jiwon.

“Hello, Jiwon. Umm, may I speak to Siwon please?”

“Oh, Jungsu. I’m afraid you can’t. Siwon’s at the airport right now. He’s–”

Jungsu’s heart dropped instantly and his mind went blank. He tuned out Jiwon’s voice and focused on the way how he suddenly felt so alone and something precious of his is taken away without his consent.

‘Was Siwon really going to leave him?’

“–going somewhere in China–”

“W-Which airport?” Jungsu hastily asked. He’ll apologize to Jiwon later.

“Incheon International Airport, of course. But, Jungsu–”

“I’m sorry, Jiwon. Thanks!” Jungsu hung up.

In that instance, Jungsu ran back to his room and change into a more suitable attire. He ran back down and took out his phone to call a taxi. Just before his fingers can dial, his phone rang. It was from Jongwoon.

“Yes, Jongwoon?”

“Jungsu! It’s finally the day! Are you ready yet? I’m on my way to pick you up. I think I’m almost at your house.”

“What do you mean?” Was he supposed to do something today with Jongwoon?

“What do you mean what I mean? We’re going to meet Ryeowook today, remember?” Jungsu cease his movement.

Kim Ryeowook.

Jongwoon’s cyber boyfriend. Jongwoon and Ryeowook haven’t met properly, they had only been communicating through Skype. It’s really a wonder how Jongwoon was able to connect with someone outside of Korea and still be able to find a Korean citizen as a boyfriend. Kind of romantic, in Jungsu’s opinion.

“We are?”

“Jungsu, I told you guys last week. Unfortunately, both the Kyumin and Eunhae couple couldn’t make it. So, it’s just you and me.”

“Jongwoon, I’m sorry. I can’t either,” Jungsu said apologetically. He wanted to accompany Jongwoon, really he did, but he didn’t want to miss seeing Siwon before he went to China.

“Why not? You cannot bail on me now, Jungsu. I promised Wookie that I’ll at least bring one friend. He’ll think that none of my friends will approve of him. He’ll be so disappointed when I’ll pick him up at the airport later. And I thought you were excited to meet him too.”

Jungsu processed what Jongwoon had just told him. “Airport? You’re picking Ryeowook up at the airport?”

“Uh, yes? Where else should I pick him? You didn’t think he travelled all the way from Japan to Korea by bus, did you? Well, then if y–”

“Is it at Incheon’s airport?”

“Jungsu, really, what’s wrong? Haven’t I told you all these details last week? And yes, at Incheon,” Jongwoon was getting worried with how Jungsu was reacting.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Jungsu. Are you okay? Do you need me to bring you to the hospital?”

“I’m fine, Jongwoon. What I really need right now is to get to that airport. Where are you?” Jungsu brushed off Jongwoon’s worry.

“Alright, whatever you say. I’m already waiting in front of your house. Come on, let’s go.”

“I’ll be out in a second.” Jungsu quickly went out and went in Jongwoon’s car.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Once they arrived at the airport, Jungsu couldn’t wait to get out of Jongwoon’s car. As soon as Jongwoon found a parking, he quickly went out.

“Jungsu, where are you going? The arrival hall is this way. Where are you running to?”

“I have to go the departure hall first. There’s something I need to do. You go on and greet Ryeowook first. Once I finished what I have to do, I promise I’ll go and meet you both.” With that Jungsu sprinted of towards the departure hall, leaving Jongwoon confused.

At the hall, Jungsu searched frantically around, hoping and praying that he wasn’t too late. He almost gave up with the amount of people in the airport, when he finally saw a familiar figure.

He finally found Siwon. He was sitting with a hand held luggage beside him.

‘He’s really going away. He’s really going to leave me. He couldn’t even have the guts to tell me? However it is I can’t let that happen. He cannot leave me.’

Siwon suddenly stood up and Jungsu’s heart pounded.

‘Don’t go!’

“Siwon!” Jungsu ran up to him just as Siwon turn to look at who was calling him.

“Jungsu?” Siwon widened his eyes in shocked at seeing Jungsu there.

“Don’t go. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t leave me. I’m sorry for all the things I have done to you. I’ll make it up to you. I promise. Just, please say you won’t ever leave me. I l-l-love y-you,” Jungsu didn’t care if there were people watching them. He didn’t care if people were whispering about him. He didn’t care if he looked ugly crying with his tears staining his cheeks in an uneven manner. All he cared about is Siwon. He has to convince Siwon to not go away from him. If he has to undergo public embarrassment, so be it.

“Jungsu, I don’t understand. What are you doing here? How is it that I’m leaving you?”

“I’m stopping you from going on that plane! Jiwon said something about you going to China. Have I been that cruel to you that you decided to run so far away from me?” In an effort to show how serious and desperate he is for Siwon to stay, Jungsu latched onto Siwon’s arm tightly and planned to never let go until Siwon agree to not board the plane.

“Umm, Jungsu?” Siwon looked at him amusedly.

“Yes?”

“Would you let me go?” Jungsu did not expect that answer.

“No! What part of ‘don’t go’ don’t you understand? Please stay here with me,” Jungsu pleaded, hoping Siwon will relent from his decision to go on the plane.

“I understand. What I meant was would you let me give Joonmyun his bag first?”

“Huh?”

“You see, this bag I’m holding belongs to my cousin, Joonmyun. He’s the one going to China, with Yixing and their son. They’re going to Yixing’s hometown in Changsha. So, if you would be so kind to release your hold for a while, I want to give him this bag as they have to get on the plane right now.”

Jungsu shifted his attention to one of the gates and saw Joonmyun, Yixing, and their son, waiting for Siwon to give them the bag. Joonmyun waved at him and gave him a smile. Jungsu returned the smile with an embarrass look.

“O-Oh…I-I’m s-sorry.” Jungsu quickly retracted his hand from Siwon’s arm.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. After this, you’re free to touch me anytime and anywhere you like. For as long as you want,” Siwon whispered enticingly to his ear, with a mischievous grin.

Jungsu colored even more and refused to look up. He stayed rooted at his spot and waited for Siwon. When Siwon was back at his side, Siwon linked their hands together and kissed the back of his hand. He leaned down and whispered, “I love you too, Jungsu. I’m never going to let you go now.”

Jungsu hoped that Siwon will never go back on his words. He would cling and hold on tight to Siwon’s heart if he has to.

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

Jungsu still doesn’t remember anything about Siwon.

He never got back the memory of his previous moments with Siwon. But, that’s okay. What’s important is that his heart never did forget the love they have of each other. To Siwon, that was more than enough and he never gets tired of telling Jungsu that.

Someone once told Jungsu that memory is not about remembering the past, but to help in planning and predicting the future. Jungsu took that to heart and he no longer felt insecure about himself. To him, the memory of their love will serve as their strength and with that, anything is possible. Their memory is all of their past, all of their present, and all of their future.

The talk he had with Siwon had also aid to make him believe that they were meant to be together, regardless of any adversity that comes their way.

 

 

After they had met Ryeowook at the airport (what a cute and adorable boyfriend Jongwoon has!), Siwon took Jungsu to the park they had their first date at. Siwon led Jungsu to the gazebo and they sat down enjoying the soothing breeze of wind brushing against their face.

“You know, they did invite me to come with them. Just for a visit,” Siwon had started the conversation.

“Really?”

“Really. And I’m sorry to say this, but I wanted to. I was really tempted.”

“Why?”

“Because you said you were tired of me.” Jungsu turned his head to look at Siwon questioningly.

“You were eavesdropping on me and Donghee?”

“Yeah, kind of. But, I didn’t stay long enough to hear the rest of the conversation. I only heard until how tired you are of trying to remember what you aren’t able to. That was my mistake. I immediately assumed that I was a burden to you. My will faltered a bit. When Joonmyun offered me to go with him to Changsha, I had seriously considered it.”

“But, Siwonnie I–” Siwon put his index finger on Jungsu’s lips.

“You called me Siwonnie. I like that.  I miss that. Anyway, moving on, once I knew the real reason why you’re tired, I was quite angry at myself for ever doubting your love and thinking of just letting you go. I already made a vow to never give up on you and I almost broke that vow. You were confused and conflicted. I was supposed to be by your side, assuring you that I will always love you. And Jungsu, you have to believe that. I’m helplessly in love with you.”

“I believe you, Siwonnie. But, how did you know the rest of the conversation?”

“I had a lunch appointment with Donghee that day. When I didn’t show up, he called me. Naturally, I told him what I heard. He called me stupid, which I think I totally deserved the tittle. He was the one who told me about how you felt. I’m glad that you remembered your love for me, sweetheart.”

“I’m glad too. I would have hated it if someone else were to snag you away from me. You’re very handsome, you know. I would be a fool to let other people have the privilege to be seen with you,” Jungsu teased playfully. Siwon burst into laughter and kissed Jungsu’s forehead.

“You’re very beautiful too, Jungsu. I wouldn’t want anyone else to stand beside me when we’re taking photos. You and I? We’re a match made in heaven,” Siwon returned the sentiment just as playful. He then brought Jungsu to sit on his lap and Jungsu easily fitted and snuggled into Siwon’s chest. They stayed like that for a while, in complete serenity.

“Wait, there’s something else I don’t understand. If you knew earlier, why didn’t you called or texted me for three whole days?” Jungsu pouted. Siwon resisted himself from kissing the daylight out of Jungsu.

“Ah, about that, I’m sorry. I was caught up in helping Yixing and Joonmyun prepare for their trip to China. There was a lot to be taken care of.”

“That’s okay.”

Siwon brushed his hand against his trousers’ pocket and what he felt there made him struck with an idea. “Since you brought that subject up, let me do something. I was planning to do this tonight, but why wait? I don’t think I can wait any longer. We’re in the right place too.”

He looked down on Jungsu and gave him a peck. He brought out the small thing in his pocket and presented it to Jungsu. Jungsu froze and stared at it without blinking. Siwon opened the little case and showed Jungsu what’s inside, confirming his suspicion.

It was a beautiful, white gold ring with an intricate design.

“Would you make me the happiest man alive by marrying me, Park Jungsu?”

“Of course, Siwonnie. It would make me very happy to,” Jungsu replied, his eyes becoming moist.

Siwon took Jungsu’s chin into his fingers and tipped his head upwards. They looked into each other’s eyes and finally sealed the union with a kiss.

 

 

There were married not long after that.

And believe it or not, Donghee was the one feeling elated the most. It gave him great delight to see that Siwon and Jungsu managed to still stay together despite the obstacles that they had encountered.

Unbeknownst to Jungsu, before Heechul had died, he made Donghee promised him to look after Jungsu and made sure he was happy and well taken care of if he were to ever go first. Watching Siwon, Donghee knew Heechul would be proud. Siwon was perfect for Jungsu and Donghee wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t need to worry much about Jungsu anymore. Jungsu now has Siwon that would do a great job of worrying and taking care of him.

And he’s confident that both of them will make each other happy forever.

 

 

 

 

OOOOO

 

 

 

 

 

The heart that truly loves never forgets – German Proverb

 

 

 

 

 

OOOOO