Chap 10
RivalsTill the end, he was the one who had failed.
He was a loser.
He wanted to give up, but he couldn't.
He had ran away. Ran away from that person. He wondered if that person would trully understand. Rejection was the best way for both of them.
'I didn't allowed myself to have those thought for another boy. It's unacceptable. Do you think so too?'
'That's right... Unacceptable, you've told me...' Youngjae wiped away the tears pooling in his eyes as he rushed towards the bathroom and locked himself in one of the cubicles. He leaned against the door frame and panted. Why didn't he said it? Why did he run away? Coward. Those few words. That he wanted him to live like other normal boys, that those thoughts were right, the feelings shouldn't have existed. For a rival, it mattered. For him, it was all mattered. And they should keep distance. A comparison to 'drugs', it wasn't a good sign, to him at least. As the only son of a family, as the only inheritance of the Jung's, Daehyun had his assigned future that he couldn't unfollow. He had heard once from his mother about it, how a relationship between the homouals could risk one's future. Many didn't care. But it was Daehyun's future... he didn't want to be a 'mistake' on the others bright fame.
Ah... he was overthinking again. Getting himself frustrated again. He never expected there would be a day he worried for Daehyun so much. He found himself needing a distraction by something else. Then he thought about Himchan and Yongguk's coming out. Actually, before those two decided to admit it out loud, Youngjae had felt it for a long time. Those love birds were too obvious. He laughed dryly, wishing how it would also be easy for them. For him and Daehyun.
Suddenly his cellphone vibrated in the pocket interrupted his thought, he picked up. "Hello?"
"Yah Yoo Youngjae, where are you? The class has began. Is Daehyun there with you?"
Began already? Youngjae sighed "Hyung, inform the teacher for me that I'll absent this class"
"W-What? Yoo Youngjae you skip classes? You- aish, I'll call you later."
He hung up after the line was cut off. Seemed like... it affected him too much?
~000~
How many days had ran by Youngjae had lost count, and he still couldn't bring himself to talk to Daehyun.
He had also declined to come over tutoring Daehyun with some reason of 'better self-practising'. The first term, surprisingly, was quick to reach its end and Youngjae hardly ran into Daehyun. The brunette barely poured out his heart to anyone but only kept to himself and covered it. Of course Youngjae was the only exception. He felt guilty deep inside but he wasn't ready yet. He wished Daehyun would understand. He hated to, but he must, take a step back, 'cause he knew, Daehyun would never be the first one to give up.
He repeated it to himself, that was the best for the other. Only the best for him.
Then he realised, because of Daehyun, he had changed. Even his thoughts. Should he be grateful about that?
"Youngjae hyung, happy birthday!!!"
Youngjae smiled and thanked his lovely brother before taking his seat ready for breakfast. His mother also congratulated him and kissed his forhead. She said:
"My son has grown up, Jae"
"I have already grown up for a long time umma!"
"But you're not 'experimenting' like before, am I right?"
His mother loved to see her son's surprise by her questions.
Youngjae blushed. "Yeah."
"I am sorry because you don't have a father by your side sharing things with you, beside you there's only Junhong and-"
"Don't say that umma" he hugged Mrs.Yoo "I don't want more, you've worked hard enough for us. Thank you."
She hugged him back and smiled proudly "You've really grown up."
~000~
"Happy birthday!!" Himchan ran towards Youngjae dragging along Yongguk who was holding two big-sized boxes. He grinned widely.
"Thanks, hyungs"
"Youngjae, accept mine too" Jongup stuffed into Youngjae's hand a colourful bag. The birthday boy sent his 'thanks' to everyone and said that it was unnecessary to prepare so much presents for him just to end up being called "Nonsense". Youngjae trully felt grateful for having friends by his side, bringing him happiness. He loved those happy time like this. Nothing bothered and only comfort. Ah... contrasting to his mother's wish, he just wanted to be a child. No worry, no psychological self-torment from wondering about a certain person he couldn't have.
Youngjae received a lot of congratulations from his friends and even from teachers in school. To be honest, he wouldn't realise it was his birthday unless his mother and Junhong hadn't reminded him this morning. The fact scared him. And then he realised, this day a year ago, 2 years ago... just flew by like any usual day, 'cause the only thing on his mind was bickering with Daehyun and pay-back plans. But now, he felt somehow empty...
He didn't know Daehyun's presence was that important.
So important that, on this moment, only a thought about him, only a second, his happiness was blew out like a wary candle.
He needed him, too much.
But he couldn't...
"Today we'll throw a party for Youngjae~!!" Himchan informed cheerfully made his classmates yell in excitement. Youngjae doubled his eyes, unable to catch a cue behind those words.
"What are you talking about? I'll never-"
"Yoo Youngjae you can't live forever like this. It's your last year already. Have some fun~"
"I agree." Yongguk grinned and pulled Himchan down so that the slightly younger could sit on his lap.
Youngjae rolled his eyes "Of course you'll agree." then shook his head and rubbed his forehead.
“Yah, the exams are done, you’re lucky having a birthday this early, we’ll have trial test, final test, … aigoo. My birthday is close to Bang’s. We’re not lucky like you.” Himchan pouted. Yongguk laughed and tightened his arms on Himchan’s waist. Youngjae felt himself couldn’t deny the envy bubbled in his stomach.
“Omo. Yah Youngjae, you better invite me this time.” JB jumped in out of nowhere, pulled a chair nearby and settled next to Youngjae.
“Ah, I’m not going to-”
“You’re not but I am. At Daehyun’s” Himchan insisted.
“NO!”
“Done. JB, spread the news!” Himchan commanded.
“Yes sir!” JB quickly fished out his phone and started typing. Before Youngjae even managed time to protest, the message had been sent.
Today would be a long day…
“Wait. Have anyone invited Daehyun?” Himchan pointed out.
“Ah, let me-”
“Don’t!” Youngjae stopped Junhong. All three stared at him in confusion, only Yongguk wore a disappointed gaze.
“…I don’t want to. Why should I invite my rival?”
“Agree., it would be messed up with his showing.” JB nodded.
The corner of his lips twitched upward in a second, not enough for a smile.
~000~
Youngjae didn’t know for sure, how many guests JB had invited.
It was true, his house wasn’t small but it wasn’t kind of luxurious either, especially when a lot of people suddenly decided to pay it a visit. His pale turned pale when he saw a multitude in front of the house’s entrance. They were neither in same grade with Youngjae nor Youngjae had seen them before.
“JB hyung and Himchan hyung told me I can invite all my friends” Junhong said innocently.
“…You invite your friends to your hyung’s birthday?”
“Yah, I see no problem. By the way, down there're only half of them.” Junhong shrugged and pointed toward the window.
‘What the hell?? Those two purposely did it!?’
Suddenly Junhong’s phone rang. He accepted the call before passing it to Youngjae “Yours.” The older took the call, anger started rising in his stomach.
“Youngjae ah, it’s me, Jongup. Himchan hyung decides to change the place since we need more space.”
“And?” He sighed.
“JB just told me. The party will be held at Daehyun’s. Everything’s prepared.”
Great. Perfect. Nothing better.
Really … It was his birthday or theirs ? Things he wanted to avoid the most was happening.
Junhong took back his phone, chatting with Jongup for a while before hanging up. “I’ll tell umma. Hyung, you should be quick.” then rushed downstair, leaving Youngjae standing there, thinking about his life all over again before reluctantly moving to change his clothes.
~000~
When Youngjae and Junhong arrived Daehyun’s place, the front yard had been filled with people. Loud music was playing, colorful lights were shooting from every directions beautifully, food was served as a buffet party, loudly chatting people, cool outfits all over…. This was definitely the kind of party only the richests could handle. Youngjae suddenly felt out of place, so awkward. This was too much.
Yongguk made his way from inside the house toward the two new arriving boys. “The party owner is here~ Do you like it? I just made it in the garden.”
“Hyung… how much are all of this?”
Junhong and Yongguk eyed him. Suddenly Yongguk let out a small laugh “What are you talking about? It’s my honor to be allowed to throw a party for one of the top students!”
Youngjae shook his head, following Yongguk inside the house “I haven’t seen such a big party, I’m not only bothering you but also not sure about Daehyun’s permission-“
“He is the one who told me to do this.” Yongguk informed.
Youngjae looked at him wide eyes “Hyung, are you sure?”
“It’s true that I have some control in the house but stuff like this, you really think that I can turn the house upside down on my all?” Yongguk laughed loudly and pushed the door open “Daehyun’s only order is doing none inside.” This answered the silence. Youngjae asked quietly:
“Daehyun… how does he know my birthday?”
“Hyung, your question is stupid” Junhong smirked playfully.
Yongguk tilted his head “You two understand each other the best, no?”
“Ah…” he had the right. Youngjae realised that he himself understood the mentioned boy as well. Just, not completely. “But he doesn’t care.”
“You’re wrong. Daehyun cares about you more than anyone. Isn’t it obvious?” Yongguk patted his shoulder. “We’ve talked”
“Really?” Youngjae’s voice barely a whisper.
“Do you know what he told me?”
Youngjae looked up Yongguk waiting. The older leaned closer, whispering to his ear:
“For you, Daehyun will give up everything.”
Youngjae stood dumpfounded. Yongguk then pulled Junhong’s arm and said “We have surprise prepared for you. It’s await at the rooftop. Happy birthday!” then left.
Youngjae felt something weird. He knew there was a chance Daehyun was there. He didn’t want to go, but his legs refused to obey his mind, leading him go step by step. He wanted to avoid Daehyun, but a voice from the bottom of his heart fueled in his desire of facing the older. He didn’t like surprises, but still he was nervous and hoping for something.
The rooftop was the fifth floor. Youngjae took in his surrounding with wide eyes. He didn’t expect…was that a pool? On the rooftop, seriously? The pool took place over a half of the space. Its bottom was designed with black and white ceramic titles, roses petals were drifting carelessly along with water currents, the light shone everything up beneath the blue crystal-clear water made the scene fancier. Youngjae’s gaze traveled around before landing on a table lying near the pool and next to the row of fence. On its top was a litting candle, a small vase of rose and a dish of strawberry cheese cake.
He made his way closer and noticed a peace of paper with neatly handwriting near the cake. “Enjoy :)”. Daehyun’s.
Was this his gift?
A breeze decided to cross by making the candle lights waver slightly. Youngjae had no idea since when had he cried. His hiccups slowly became the only sounds heard in the silence.
“Do you like it?”
Youngjae turned around and…
Nearly yelled. Grabbed the paper to cover his own eyes, he half-shouted “Throw on your clothes, my god!”
The situation was… Daehyun only had his swimming shorts on. The boy just shrugged “Yah, what should I wear when I want to swim?”
“Ughhhh”
“Yah Yoo Youngjae, just enjoy the cake I made, no need to watch.” he then jumped into the water.
Youngjae turned his back against him. “You…you made it yourself?”
“Mm”
He sat on the chair, feeling his heart still beating fast as usual. The older mentioned nothing about the old stuffs and talked to him as if nothing happened. He cursed himself for not being strong like that.
Silently, he munched on the cake, only wind rustles and water splashes were heard from behind his back. The cake was delicious. Why did he do all of this for him?
“Yah…Don’t you get cold?”
“No, it’s very warm here, the temperature is adjustable”. He heard the other’s laughters and water splashes approaching him. “Join me, Youngjae”
“Are you nuts? No.“
From the corner of his eye, he could see the brunette crossing his arms over the pool’s wall and leaning his head on it. “Don’t know how to swim?”
“I don’t. So what?”
“I can teach you.”
“No.”
“Youngjae.”
“Never. N. E. V. E. R. Never”
“I’ll catch you~ It’s so boring here.” he begged.
“Ne- AHHH” The sudden cold’s embrace made him grit his teeth, and now he was all drained. “What you think you are doing???” he got mad.
Daehyun laughed “Take off your clothes, join me for some warmth. I prepared no extra towels to wrap for you.”
“I said 1- YAHHHH!!! Stop!!” Daehyun splashed water on him over and over, his body started to shiver.
“Come down here.”
“Fine!!” Youngjae resentfully took off his jacket and let him only a thin shirt on. Daehyun pouted.
“Your pants, too”
“You!-“
“You still have underwear, right? We’re both boys, no need to be awkward”
Was it necessary for him to highlight it? Youngjae slowly took off his jeans, revealing the smooth white skin.
“…Don’t stare.”
“Why? I’ll look anyways.” Daehyun smirked.
‘Go die already!!!” Youngjae cursed him inwardly and stepped to the pool where Daehyun was stretching his arms. He carefully sat down, Daehyun immediately s his one arm around his waist while the other hand guided Youngjae’s legs to wrap around his own body.
“Hold me tight.”
Had Youngjae’s arms wrapped fully around his neck, Daehyun stepped backward slowly, pulling both of them further into the middle. Daehyun was right, it was very warm. His knees bent down a bit so that the water sometimes touched their chins, swimming randomly here and there. Youngjae wasn’t fond of swimming, but he felt safe in the other’s hold. Their eyes locked. He was confused, wondering whether or not he should mention the matter. Daehyun didn’t seem like waiting, but he couldn’t stand holding it for so long.
“Daehyun…”
“Hm?”
“I’m…I’m sorry, really…” He averted the eye contact, turning to his side. The brunette had pulled them to the pool’s center.
“Apology… accepted”
Youngjae’s eyes rounded. Just that?
“It’s not your fault if you don’t love me.”
He frowned. Not like that…
“Sorry for my rude attitude. And thank you for baring with me, Youngjae” he mumbled.
“No! I-” Youngjae sighed “I just…I don’t want to see your future and reputation be ruined by me…”
“What do you mean?”
He let his head fall on the older’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t have feelings for me. You don’t love the one who has same gender with you, Daehyun…”
“Yoo Youngjae”
He scrunched slightly as the hold on his waist tightened. Daehyun said “Listen. I know myself and I accept it. I said I had feelings for you for a long time, and that’s what I can’t change.”
“But you have your company, your parents, your need a girl to-”
“I need nobody other than you, Jae” Daehyun nuzzled into his hair “I don’t want a future without you. I can’t stand where there’s no you beside me…I need you.”
Youngjae felt his vision go blur. He whispered “Me too”
Daehyun lift his chin so that their eyes met. He reached to the pendant the younger was wearing before pulling out his own one, putting them together so a full heart shape was made. Without any expectations, they both giggled. “Tell me, Youngjae…”
He bit his lip “You shouldn’t regret it, Jung Daehyun”
The waiting boy nooded, resting his own forhead on the opposite one. Youngjae inhaled softly.
“I love you.”
Soft, but enough to make sure Daehyun hear it fully and smiled brightly. His face got hotter even though the cold wind repeatedly kissed his chubby cheeks.
“Hey Jae, hold your breath.”
‘What-”
All the noise faded out of sudden and he shut his eyes tightly, the brunette had pulled both of them into the water, the surpress making his head go dizzy. Jung Daehyun, you jerk. He squirmed but then a hand gently tapped on his cheek, silently told him to calm down and he forced his eyes open. His vision was unclear and narrow but he still imagined the older’s vague face. Daehyun smiled, held him tightly and blocked the younger boy’s lips with his own. For a second, Youngjae forgot the fact that he couldn’t breathe. He started returning the kiss with his eyes closed, the feeling was strange, it wasn’t uncomfortable, because the only thing in his mind now was a pair of plump lips moving on his own, his arms tightened around the other’s neck. He might get a record of holding breaths just because Daehyun was kissing him.
He pulled away when his lungs screamed for air and Daehyun brought them above the surface, both panting. The brunette laughed loudly earned him some punches on the chest.
“Do you find me romantic? Dinning table, candle, pool at rooftop.”
“Uhm…” he scrunched his nose “But you splashed water on me so… No!”
“Yah” Daehyun pouted. Before Youngjae managed time to laugh in his face, Daehyun pulled him down for another water-kiss. A firm slap he received after that made him hiss. Youngjae asked hesitantly after regaining his steady breath:
“Daehyun…Are you sure it would be okay? I mean… our relationship?”
“Yah, don’t say that. Nothing can block love.” Daehyun replied as he brought them toward the poolwall.
“Cheesy"
“I’m talking the truth! For you, I’ll give up everything, so don’t worry. Nothing is wrong. I’ll take the responsibility, ok?”
“For you, Daehyun will give up everything.”
He rested his arms on the wall and commented:
“You’re hard-headed”
“Exactly”
“…Thanks for everything, Daehyun”
The other smiled and nodded, pecking on his lips “Happy birthday. I guess we better get dress then go down there greeting the invited, okay?”
“Uh.” Daehyun got out first before lifting Youngjae up bridal style and looking down where people were partying.
“Stay here tonight?”
“Whatever.”
“Good” he whispered on his ear “I muss punish you worthy.”
Youngjae frozed.
AN1: I'll keep everything they did that night in dark. Don't kill me LOL
And there are some reasons to make this is not the end of the story. Wait for me~~~~
AN2: Sorry all my lovely readers for the long wait OTL Anybody still remember me ? so sorry, please forgive me T_T
The previous months are quite busy for me: tests, presentation, machine demonstrations,... but I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit lazy ( no, a lot, I'm sorry... )
But, I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP!!! So hopefully, I could manage more time to update xD
Uhm.. promise to work harder since now!
Bye bye, see you guys soon ^^
And don't forget to subscribe and comment, please let me know you still know who I am, or at least you guys still remember this story...
Bye~~~
Comments