“Let’s get a divorce.”

He placed the paper on the table, his eyes avoiding the other, as if the other’s eyes could burn him.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t. I keep blaming you, thinking if only you were more careful. Whenever I pass by that room, I feel so sick and feel like the anger is going to burn me. I’m sorry.”

He avoided his lover’s eyes, knew that tear were welling in his eyes. Knew that his hands were clench as if clenching his hands were a way to stop him from falling apart.

“ We can try again.” His lover spoke with a tremor, like the last leaf that was desperately clinging to the branch.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. When I see you lying beside me, I can’t stop the anger that rises up. It scares me. I can’t.”

He knew his lover was now crying. He wanted to retract the paper, wrap his lover in his arms and kiss the tears away. He wanted to lash out, scream at his lover to sign the papers, to get away from him.

“I’m sorry. I resent you. I look at the neonatal room and want to scream cause our baby is supposed to be in there, supposed to be with us in our house, supposed to be in our arms.”

He hears his lover choke back a sob.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I am so cruel, hurting you like this.”

There was no reply, only whimpers.

“ I’m sorry. I am cruel, too cruel. But please.”

His eyes stared at the floor still.

“I’m sorry I can’t love you.”