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"TODAY"

I’m doing it today too, talking like nothing’s happened
Saying that I have no girlfriend
And turning off my phone secretly.
I want you to console me tonight
Don’t ask me anything more

Let’s keep it secret so that she can never hear anything
Yeah, 1st moment when I saw you, (no more)
I couldn’t see anything else
I assumed that I didn’t have my girl
What possessed me, I know I shouldn’t do this
I know it’s an affair
Is this enjoy? What did you say
Well it seemed just like that.

So today, I don’t care
Cuz we wild we rolling stones
Today I’m free like a wind
I’m rocking my life away

I’m again giving my heart today saying that I’m lonely
I hate being alone, leave you a lingering imagery and lean on you
Breaking up w/ my lover and saying that my new girl is you
My girl who are waiting for me, is she falling a sleep?
At dawn, sky is dark outside
Let us take a rest here, of one night.
Lapapapampam though I cannot escape cos I fell too deep
I’ll go back to her tomorrow

So today, I don’t care
Cuz we wild we rolling stones
Today I’m free like a wind
I’m rocking my life away

Yea hey baby I got something to tell you. You know.
I know I’ve gone too much
At first, well it was mild
Later I enjoyed it
It was damn awesome but it’s futile.
She acted like it was unfair
After realizing, it was so cold, a lot
I made excuses, I was inarticulate.
My words, I hesitated
Honestly, how can I say that?
Well, it’s not enough for me with only you
That’s how am I gonna say that?
Room in my heart today is a reception room
It’s for free to guest.

So today, I don’t care
Cuz we wild we rolling stones
Today I’m free like a wind
I’m rocking my life away"

- G-Dragon, Today (x)

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It was another typical rainy day in the spring but sipping on a hot chocolate during work in the studio cannot be that bad. That was why he was always feeling thankful when the hot beverage hits his tongue, it sent a rush of warmth to all parts of his body on this day. It's the little things that always count.

Yes, he was yet again, in the studio. It has been a stressful day from meetings with Sajangnim, his world tour staff, the BIGBANG members (the two maknaes were in the meeting through webcam), Teddy Park and replying international love calls from all the photographers, designers and several overseas musicians and singers.

How he had lived this way since the start of last year, he couldn't understand it himself. But work is work, no matter in what form. Another little thing that he was tremendously thankful for.

Being an idol that was famous worldwide has its perks. Money, fame and come so easily at the bat of an eyelid.

Especially .

He remembers that last night in Osaka. It was bizarre but exciting. He met new friends, introduced to new friends by new friends when a y blonde came to attention.

Hair was curly and messy, a work he recognized from professional hair dressers. Her make-up was pure with the eyes lined to look deep and lazy, red lip gloss balmy enough to make her thin lips look plump. Wearing a lavish crop top that leaves little to the imagination, skin tight leather pants and a six inch -me heels.

That nameless was nothing like his girlfriend and the thought turns him on.

He brought her to grind on the dance floor, she liked it. He bought her drinks, she liked it. He whispered sweets nothings into her ears, she shivered with excitement. 

She liked it so much that they spent the rest of the night at his hotel room. He tried some new positions with the woman that he learnt from a close friend. And it was worth a try.

The was overall mediocre for him but listening to her purrs, moans and judging by the stinging red trails on his back the next morning, he had satisfied the nugu and that made him feel powerful and satisfied in return.

But all of those were temporary. Like many others. Always has. Always will be.

He felt so empty afterwards, he checked out of the room before the woman wakes up.

A little like what he was feeling right now. What the was he trying to prove, actually?

It was an automatic reaction for him now to take out the cigarette pack and light up his problems away. Left with the puffs and blows from his mouth, his thoughts wanders back to the love of his life.

“Bom Park.”

The name escaped from his lips in a sigh.

He haven't called her or texted her since he went back from Hong Kong. He hasn’t been talking to her much ever since he started his world tour. The last time that he did that was when he had that leg injury in Japan.

Although she couldn't come to Japan to avoid people's suspicions, they talked on the phone for God knows how long but he was thankful for her attention. He knows that he was loved so much by this beautiful angel and that there should be no regret about this relationship.

There shouldn’t be any.

So why hasn’t he told anybody about their relationship yet? He loves her, he really does and she deserves to have a pure and public relationship. But…

He just thought that if they were ever to break up, it would be a mess for everyone else to handle. The relationship consisted of her and him, so it’s their problem and not anyone else. She should understand at least that much… right?

Who am I kidding.

The relationship consisted of him, her and… his many one night stands with numerous of the nameless and the faceless. A habit that he made two years into dating Bom, an unbreakable one. In the period of their five years of relationship, he cheated on her for four years.

He was being a piece of . He knew he should have stopped because of ever she were to find out, it would hurt her. He knows that and yet…

He hasn’t talked about this at all with her. He never confirmed or denied any of the rumours surrounding him and she never asked. That’s was why at first he thought he was safe but his suspicions grew about her knowledge regarding this matter after a year. He couldn’t be that lucky about this, right? She knows. The woman knew.

He let out a shout of frustration in his seat.

She did not deserve any of these up done by yours truly, but he couldn’t let her go.

So… should I break it off with her?

He can feel his heart trembling and feel like choking as the thought crossed his mind. His lungs feel like it’s short of air, his hands shaking, and his knees weak.

For whatever reasons that he couldn’t come up with, he knows that he would lose his mind if he were to lose her. He cannot afford to lose this woman. He cannot.

She was perfect in every sense. She has a sense of humor, she reacts well to people’s teasing or joking. She was a lioness in bed. She respects his decision. She takes care of him well. And most of all… he can always feel the warmth of her love, even when they were at different places.

So why was he doing this to her?

“I don’t ing know why.” He sighed.

Somebody knocked on the studio’s door.

“You alright, man?”

“Yeah.” Jiyong replied. “Yeah, I am.”

“You sure?”

“I am.”

A few knowing look from his best friend, he then let a sigh.

“I’m okay, Youngbae ah.” He said. “But I need to be alone right now, feel me?”

“Okay. Sure. Just holler if you need anything from me. I’ll be next door.” With that, Youngbae left the studio.

Looking at Youngbae only reminded him more of Bom. Thinking about Bom made him feeling a horrible guilt and pain.

He turned around to look at his phone and contemplated whether he should call her. Or if he's to wait for her to call him.

He had a staring contest with the phone for a few minutes and he lost.

it, I'mma call her.

And he did. He tried again and again, because she didn’t pick it up.

“What is she doing?” He wondered. Was she asleep? Was she showering? Was she away from her phone?

Drumming his fingers on his knee while waiting, he hummed Park Bom's You and I under his breath. He was feeling a little uneasy. He was about to end the call when it was finally answered.

"Hello?" A husky and a tad hoarse voice greeted from the other side of the line.

She just woke up. Thinking about her in her sleepwear makes him hot because Bom always sleeps with almost no clothes on.

And he haven't had with Bom since... September? October?

Holy . Has it really been that long?

"I miss you." Jiyong purred, unintentionally. For a moment, he forgot about his guilt for Bom and the need to be with his woman was so strong that it staggered him.

There was only silence.

“Hello? Bom?”

“Yeah?”

“Aren’t you gonna say you miss me too?” He teased.

“Yeah. Okay. Miss you too.” She said after a few tries.

He chuckled. She sounded so cute. 

“Your voice's so hoarse. Did I woke you up?”

“Uhm…” She said, voice still hoarse to no sound. She cleared . “Yeah you did,” she tried to speak but no voice came out.

That started Jiyong on laughing and Bom to yell, “YAH!” in a there-not-there voice.

“I’m gonna make some honey lemon drink.” She declared with a difficulty. “Are you gonna wait or should I call you back?”

“I’ll wait. But put on the loudspeaker? I’ll put by earpiece on.”

“Kay.” She whispered.

Jiyong went to look for an earpiece for his phone at the same time. He found it, plugged it in and lay back on his couch.

With that five minutes passed.

He a soft music from the computer to fill the empty communication.

Ten minutes passed.

“Yah, ahjumma, are you really gonna leave me alone this long?” He teased.

As a response, Bom slammed something hard next to the phone, bursting the eardrums because inner earpiece he had in his ear.

“What the hell?!”

“Oh, was it that loud? I’m sorry. The kitchen cloth fell from my hands.” Bom said sweetly.

Jiyong was dead sure it was from a pestle. The kitchen cloth should not make a sound that heavy.

Another twenty minutes gone.

“How long are you planning for me to wait?”

“I dunno. How long should I let you wait for me?”

“Five minutes more?”

He did not hear what Bom said clearly but he thought he heard her say, “Not long enough.”

It was soft and said nonchalantly. Damn him but those words stabbed something inside his heart but he brushed it off. She can’t really mean that… right?

He timed the five minutes on his watch and waited. When it was time, he spoke to the mouth piece.

“Bom, your five minutes are up.”

Again, silence greeted him.

“Bom?” He hollered softly.

“Bom, are you there?” He asked again but there was no response.

“Bom, answer me.” He stood from the couch.

“Park Bom, you’re scaring me. Answer me.” He started to pace around the floor.

He stopped the music from his computer and maxed the volume of his phone while constantly calling her name.

Then he shut up when he hear a quiet sobbing. Very soft and quiet.

“Bom…?” He called again. This time, he was standing still near the mixer.

Bom then made some squeaking sounds that were not unfamiliar in his ears. He was sure she was either muffling with her hands or she was biting onto something to stop making noises.

“Are you… crying?” He whispered into the mouthpiece.

As if Jiyong said the magic words, the sobs released from her lips were heart breaking.

“Park Bom, jagiya.” She cried even more. “Jagi, are you at your parents’ home? Should I come over?”

Bom’s muffled, “No.” was ignored by Jiyong, “I’ll be there in ten.”

It's the little things that count. He thought.

"It's the little things that count."

And he went.

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A/N: So, kids, how was it? Was the writing lacking or need some fixing? Whatever it is, drop some comments so I can improve more. Thank you! *^^*

- I edited it a bit. Turns out there were some typos and an incomplete sentence. Sorry ^^;