Part 2

 “I got up, out of bed and went into the living room to see what had happened. Everyone was gathered there, all quietly fussing about. Even the managers were there, all three of them. It made me feel worse. I decided to look for Hangeng so that I could lean on him while listening. I was too tired to stand, tired from lack of sleep and peace of mind. My constant worrying had made me quite unstable.”

 “I remember that morning…” Leeteuk suddenly interrupted. He sounded weak, and far-away… “I remember manager-hyung coming to our dorm early in the morning and waking me up. He told me that Hangeng was missing.”

 I winced at the bluntness of how he said it. I felt my emotions flood back into me. I wanted to run, run away from the lights, the cameras, from everything. I wanted to retreat into my room and cry my heart out.  Cry and cry until I couldn’t cry anymore. Beside me, Leeteuk started sobbing.

 “I was so scared…” he almost whispered “…I didn’t know what to do! W-was it my fault? Would he c-come back? I didn’t know and I was so scared! I can even explain h-how worried I was, how disappointed I was. I don’t know…” Leeteuk hiccupped and started to sob harder on my shoulder.

 The host looked traumatised. She looked at me, “It seems that this is a touchy subject for the two of you, should we stop? I’m sorry for causing you this pain; it’s just that everyone is curi…”

 “No!” I stopped her. “No, we need to let this out. We need people to know.”

 Leeteuk, who had since calmed down, nodded silently beside me, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “We don’t want to talk about this, that’s right. It hurts. But we need to let it out. We don’t want to be asked anymore…” he said softly.

 “Are you sure? I m-mean I’m not forcing or anything. If you don’t want to then y-yo…”

 “I’m sure.” I took a deep breath. I had to do this.

 “So basically, one day he left us. That’s it. He was there one day and not there the next. I didn’t know why. None of us did. We were all scared as to what had happened and where he had gone. It spread to the media and became a big deal and none of us could handle it because no one knew why, or what was actually happening.” I started to stress again. “Suddenly we had all this pressure on us. From the media, from our fans, from our family. There were all these rumours saying we treated him badly and that it was our fault he left. We were bombarded with questions and were expected to reply immediately whilst not knowing ourselves what had happened!” I had started to speak faster and get teary-eyed again. 

 I looked down and put my face in my hands while taking deep breaths. “ I just don’t know what I did wrong…” I said into my hands, to no one in particular.

“It’s alright Heechul-ssi, I understand.”

“NO, you know what? You DON’T understand! And that’s why every single interview we do these days is the same. It’s always Hangeng Hangeng HANGENG! AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” I stood up and ran to the restrooms.

I had a headache from all the yelling and I didn’t really know where I was going. I felt drunk. I was half running half stumbling down the hallway, my hands hitting the walls, tears streaming down my face. At the end of the corridor I saw the signs that told me where to go. Walking into the restrooms, I felt secure. It was quiet and clean and calming. No loud noises, no bright lights, no distractions.

Breathing heavily, I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked horrible. All the crying had made my makeup run and there were streaks of black on my face from my eyeliner. My hair was dishevelled and messy and my nose was running. I washed my face using the cool water as I tried to calm myself down. Why was it always Hangeng? Why?

From inside the bathrooms I could faintly hear shouting, from the PD I think, I wasn’t sure. All I knew, was that my head was starting to spin. I sank to the floor to try and steady myself and rested my head on the cold walls. My headache made me feel worse, if that was possible. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run home and curl up in my warm bed. I wanted to be alone. 

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gosh there's still so much more to write! and this was meant to be a one-shot =="

oh well...tell me if you like it or if you're getting bored...theres really not much of a story...

gahhh its so short again :/ im sorrrrrryyyy!! *insert sorry sorry dance*

haha anyway

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