Part 3

 Leeteuk’s POV

 After Heechul took off there was only chaos. The producers were running around, the stage crew was a mess, manager-hyung was looking for Heechul and the host and I could do nothing but sit awkwardly. It was a live show.

 I started to apologise, coming up with numerous excuses. “He’s just tired and it’s a touchy subject…” I managed to squeak out. Everyone was so shocked at his reaction and we didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, though, it was just about time for the show to end. One hell of a show that was! One hell of a painful show…

 The host finished off the show with a nervous smile and a wave. Once the cameras were turned off, I busied myself in apologising to the staff. It was quite a traumatising event for everyone. Once I had reached all the corners of the room, I scrambled out the door to try and help the others find Heechul.

 Thinking back, I realised that the host was asking the question he hated most. Scrutinizing him, asking for details on an event that shook him the most. Although he may not look it, Heechul is a very sensitive person.  When it comes to friends, he’s extremely loyal and caring. Hangeng and him were so close, so involved with each other, that he couldn’t take it.

 I remember that night clearly…

 *-*FLASHBACK*-*

 “I’ll be on the roof, if anyone needs me” he said in a rough voice, as if he were trying to hide something. Looking at his face, it was evident that he’d been crying.

 No one really bothered to look up. Kyuhyun busy with his PSP, Yesung busy with his turtle, Siwon busy with his bible, Sungmin, Donghae and Eunhyuk huddled around a guitar and some manuscript.  Ryeowook had a schedule and Shindong was in the kitchen.

 Pulling the hood of his grey hoodie up and lowering his head, Heechul left the room. A few seconds later I heard the distinctive ‘Ding’ of the elevator and before I knew it, he was gone.

 No one really noticed his absence. The great Heechul with all his mischief and snarkiness was missing and no one really seemed to notice. I found it strange. Maybe the mood was just really bad. No one was anywhere near the mood for jokes. Eunhyuk’s gummy smile was missing, Sungmin’s bubbly-ness had been right out of him. Siwon seemed to be praying.

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 3 hours had passed. It was 1:30 am. Ryeowook was back and fast asleep, as were most of the other members. I could still hear faint noises from Kyuhyun’s gaming console in the other room and Sungmin’s occasional sleepy moans from him to shut up.

 -2 am-

 The whole dorm was silent. The only movement being the shadows of trees moving in the wind outside. It was so creepy.  I was curled up on the couch; too anxious to sleep. Worried about Heechul and Hangeng. Wanting Heechul to return and Hangeng to call, at the least.

 I must have dosed off, for I woke to the sound of the door closing and soft sobbing. I heard sniffles and shuffling around the dorm. It was too dark to see who it was though. Soon enough, a lamp was . I rubbed my eyes and sat up on the couch to see who it was.

 It was Heechul.

 “Chul-ah…” I called softly. I was half asleep, mind you.

 “Hyung…? Why are you still awake?”  I heard his weary reply. His voice was thick and low and I heard him clear his throat before coming closer. “Hyung, you should sleep properly. You’ll hurt your back.”

 Looking up at his face, I was surprised. Although I kind of expected it too. His eyes were red from crying with wet streaks down his face. I sat up properly and blinked the sleep away, yawning.

 “Chul-ah, what happened?”

 He didn’t reply. He simply looked down and I heard his sniffles and sighs.

 I patted the seat on the couch next to me and beckoned him to sit down. He did. But he wouldn’t look up, still sniffling and wiping his eyes with his wet sleves.

 “Hey…Don’t worry. He’s fine.” I cooed. I’ve never been too good with consoling people.

 I saw him nod a little and look up. “But hyung, what if he’s not. What if he doesn’t come back? Huh? What then Hyung? What then?” His breathing became un-even and before I knew it, he was sobbing for the nth time today.

 Heechul suddenly started to sob harder. “What if he doesn’t come back…” he started to mutter over and over again.

 I pulled him into a tight hug and felt him collapse on my shoulder. He started to cry. Really hard. I could only his hair and pat his back.

  “Heechul-ah, listen to me. Let it all out. He’ll be back. It’s okay. It’s okay.” I murmured. Truth was, I was scared of the same things. Why did he leave? When will he be back? Will he be back? I couldn’t tell if I was trying to comfort Heechul or convince myself anymore. But soon enough, we started to cry on each other. Worrying. Scared. Unsure.

 *-*NORMAL*-*

 I finally reached the restrooms  and saw manager-hyung standing outside. He heard me approach and turned around and put his finger to his lips, tell me to be quiet. “Heechul’s in there,” he whispered, “but I don’t know what to say to him.” He looked worried.

 “Don’t worry. I’ll go.” I was nervous. Usually, Heechul had massive mood swings. And when he got sad, he could be quite depressing. Bringing the whole atmosphere around him down.

 Walking into the bathroom was like walking into serenity. Suddenly it was quiet, and the white walls made it seem so unnaturally clean and perfect. I found it hard to convince myself that people came in here to pee.

 I heard a tap running and quiet sobs and sighs. “why, why…” I heard him whisper.

 I turned the corner and saw Heechul crumpled up on the floor. My sneakers squeaked against the polished floors. It was uncomfortable. Like the sound of an arrow slicing through still air. He noticed the shoes and suddenly started to wipe his tears.

 “Chul-ah, don’t worry. It’s just me” I said.

 His hand stopped and dropped to the floor. I heard his rings clang against the cold floor. Once again; uncomfortable. He took deep breaths and looked up at me. “Hyung…”

 I was startled. Not by what he looked like, sadly, I had gotten used to that lately. Make-up a mess, hair untidy, clothes crinkled. No, I was startled by the fact that he called me hyung. Heechul never does that. Never.

 I knelt down, reached over, and brushed his hair away from his face with my hand. I cupped his face and wiped his tears with my thumbs. “Heechul-ah… “

 “Hyung…” He grabbed my hands and held them tightly in his lap. “…I don’t like this. I don’t want them to ask anymore. They don’t need to know. It’s not important. The fact is that he left.” He winced. “And he’s not coming back.”

 I looked at him sadly. I could only agree. After all this time, not even one phone call was made, not even one email was sent. Not by him, not even by his manager.

 We were sent out of our thoughts by a sharp knock on the door. The two of us looked at the door. I looked back at Heechul and he nodded. “Come in…” I called.

 It was manager-hyung. “Ermm… guys, the host wanted to talk to you. I don’t know what it was about, she wouldn’t tell me, but it seemed kinda urgent.”

 Heechul and I looked at each other with vague curiosity. What could it be? Why was it urgent? A million thoughts crossed my mind.

 We helped each other up and fixed up Heechul’s make up as best we could before walking out of the restrooms with manager-hyung behind us.

 Outside, stood the host, with a nervous smile on her face. “Heechul-ssi, I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to hurt you…” she said cautiously.

 “No its my fault. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” Heechul started to apologise and bow deeply.

 “Ermmm…” she started slowly.

 We both looked at her.

 “There was something that we had prepared for the show. It was a present for you guys.”

 A flash of excitement could be seen in Heechul’s eyes. But it left as quickly as it came. I smiled softly. “You didn’t have to…” I started.

 “No, we did!” she interrupted. “It was prepared specially and took a lot of time and money so we couldn’t let you leave without receiving it.”

 Heechul frowned.

Heechul’s POV

I was worried. No, I was upset and annoyed and I wanted to go home! Now this lady was trying to get me to feel guilty about some crappy present and was trying to get me to see it. I decided to play along. I’d already ruined her day enough.

“Aishh…” I muttered.

She looked up at me with apologetic eyes. “I know you’re tired but it would only take a moment…”

“Hurry it up…” I said gruffly, too tired to argue.

She smiled big. Like, really big. Like, really, really big. Like, Demi Lovato big. (A/N: if you haven’t seen demi lovato’s smile…google it :p its big!)

I turned to look at Leeteuk. He looked confused.

I saw the host look at a staff member standing next to the door near us and clear . The staff member suddenly smiled too and opened the door. She leaned over and whispered something to someone on the other side. We couldn’t see who it was, but the host seemed to be getting pretty excited. I was frustrated. I had had enough of these secret smiles. I was tired and I wanted to go home.

“Just freaking open the door already…!” I yelled.

Everyone looked at me startled. But the smiles hadn’t faded. They had gotten larger. Imagine a smile larger than Demi Lovato’s.  

 I started to breathe heavily again. Pissed off. But Leeteuk’s hand on my shoulder calmed me down a bit.

 The host started to giggle. I glared at her but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference. “Are you ready?” She asked

 “Yes I’m freaking ready so just open the bloody d-…” I trailed off once the door opened. Time stopped. I could hear nothing but my heart. Beating faster and faster with every passing second. I couldn’t believe it. My eyes widened. I heard a soft gasp from behind me, followed by some girly giggles.

 It couldn’t be.

  But it was.

 It was him.

  Hangeng.

 The Hangeng.

 My Hangeng.

 “Chul-ah. How have you been? He said in that delicious voice of his. His broken Korean didn’t matter right now. His beaming face was a few metres away. A few, mere metres. I frowned. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t believe my eyes. I decided I had to make sure. I had to make sure if it was real or not.

 I took a weary step forward. His grin widened. My frown deepened.

  I took another step. He widened his arms, expecting a hug. After a few more uncertain steps I reached him. His face was a few centimetres away. I could hear him breathing. But I didn’t believe it. No, not yet.

 Slowly, I raised my hand. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins. If it was really him, there was so much I wanted to do, wanted to say. I reached his face and my fingertips brushed along his cheek.

Nothing happened.

 He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

 Was it real?

 I was convinced. This was real. He was real and I did the first thing I thought of.

 I slapped him.

 Tears formed in my eyes as I slapped him again, on the other cheek. The noise broke through the quiet air.

 “I guess I deserved that” he said, looking down sadly.

 I started to hyperventilate. “Hangeng…?” I started, “ HANGENG! YOU…! YOU! NO CALLS! NO EMAILS! NO LETTERS! NO NOTHING! WHERE THE DID YOU DISAPPEAR TO?! Did you know how worried I was? DID YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED WE ALL WERE?!?! DID YOU?! YOU DIDN’T!! YOU DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING! YOU JUST DISAPPEARED AS IF NO ONE CARED!! DID YOU KNOW WHAT SUPER JUNIOR HAD TO GO THROUGH THESE LAST FEW MONTHS?!? Endless calls and interviews and articles about you! ING RUMOURS SAYING WE HURT YOU! SAYING WE KICKED YOU OUT! Do you know how hurt I was to hear that? To see it as headlines of newspapers? ING HELL HANGENG! YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING! Something! Anything…” I trailed off as I started to cry too hard.

 I started to hit his chest. But I had no energy left in me. I felt like collapsing. I was about to, until he pulled me into a hug.

 His warm, tight embrace made me forget everything. He my hair telling me it was alright, that he loved me, that he was here and that he wouldn’t leave.

 And you know what?

 I believed him. Although I knew he wouldn’t stay. I believed him. Just for one moment. Just to make all the pain go away. Just to feel loved once again. Just to think that someone cared. To remember how close we once were. To remember those days of endless conversation. Those nights of endless passion.

 Just to believe that we could be what we were.

  ONE.

  Just to believe we could be one, once again, for a short time atleast.

 To understand what love was. To re-experience it.

 To find peace.

 To become stronger. And be able to soldier on, even in the hardest of times.

 And even though I knew that he had to leave soon, I was happy.

 Content.

 With everything.

 Glad. And willing, to live on.

 -----

 Guess it wasn’t a crappy present after all! ;)

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gahh its like reeally long this time haha...the other ones were like 1 and a half pages on word and this one was like 5 haha.

anyway...my depressing story is finally overrrr

yay!

Rina and i are gonna start updating 'I Believe in Magic' more often now so stay tuned for update on that!

hope u enjoyed this story...it was kinda depressing but oh well... haha

comment!! i guess theres no point in subscribing anymore :L