It had been such a long walk, and Kyungsoo’s legs were aching to the bone- never before had he walked so far. Now they finally seem to have reached their destination, and Kyungsoo couldn’t be more relieved to rest, but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

Tearful reunions are happening all around him. Kyungsoo stood behind them, observing silently his saviour embracing his family, and felt a mixture of emotions swirling in his stomach. Some were more easily identifiable than others; the most obvious and prominent were loneliness and jealousy. He wished he could be with his own family, but he couldn’t. They were so far away now, and he was dead to them. There was no way he could ever go back to them, and he needed to realise that.

And besides, he also wanted to stay with Jongin, the first person to show him kindness since his expulsion. He was like a ray of sunshine. Until he had awoken on the man’s back, he had been walking without respite for weeks, only sleeping for a few hours at a time, and then, due to his overwhelming exhaustion he had passed out under the canopy.

Although he tried to shove the memories of the day he was exorcised away, and bury them with happier ones from before he was expected to engage in relationships with the opposite , it didn’t work, and he found his eyes burning with tears. For the most part, being with Jongin and his friends had numbed some of the pain; despite their language barrier they communicated fairly well.

Seeing the man happy with his family reminded him of everything he’d lost, and it left a hollow ache in his chest. He clenched his fist, anxious not to cry on his first meeting with Jongin’s family as he wanted to make a good impression. He blinked several times; to make sure no tears were going to overflow, but that underlying loneliness remained no matter what he did.

Jongin was talking rapidly to his mother and brother. Kyungsoo could only understand the odd word, but the gist of it, he thought, was what he did while away at the summer gathering. His brother seemed enraptured with Jongin’s stories, gazing at him in a childish mixture of awe and envy.

Kyungsoo smiled, bittersweet, remembering how he used to be like that with his older sister; whenever she got to do something his age restricted him from participating in, like the dances to celebrate mating ceremonies he would be so jealous. At the time he had only been allowed to watch, and by the time he was officially old enough to be allowed to participate, he was being encouraged to find a mate of his own. And then everything went downhill from there.

“Mum, this is Kyungsoo!” At the sound of his own name, Kyungsoo retracted his head from the clouds of nostalgia, and glanced at Jongin who appeared to be introducing him to his mother. Suddenly Kyungsoo felt very afraid. If this woman didn’t like him, he would surely have to live alone, and that was something he wasn’t sure he can cope with after being alone before.

He bowed low, deferential, hoping that she wouldn’t push him down and reject him. Above his head Jongin laughed lightly, and his mother said something, her tone not unkind. A hand on his shoulder made him flinch and prepare for the worst; Jongin’s mother had rejected him, hadn’t she?

“Kyungsoo.” Jongin’s gentle voice was right by his ear, making Kyungsoo screw up eyes in self-preservation. Jongin repeated his name, and then sighed. He used his hands to push Kyungsoo into a standing position, which he resisted at first, but Jongin was insistent.

“Kyungsoo, why are you being like this?” Jongin asked, sounding a little exasperated. Kyungsoo opened his eyes just a sliver, and was surprised to find Jongin so close. Jerking back slightly, he glanced over to the other man’s mother who looked amused, then Jongin’s brother who was also watching him expectantly.

Did he do something wrong? He already knew his own culture seemed to be have more formalities than Jongin’s, but surely it couldn’t be a problem to show proper respect to someone you hope to live with? He looked to Jongin for guidance, who smiled and pointed at the small boy

“Kyungsoo, this is Jongcheol, my brother.” The boy grinned baring his teeth- or rather the huge gap in the front –proudly, “and this is my mother.” Kyungsoo bowed again, this time only dipping his head towards her. Jongin patted him on the back. “Hey, you don’t need to do that, it’s just my mum!”

“He can if he wants to; I’m not going to deny respect. Maybe I should make you bow to me, too, Jongin?” His mother teased, chuckling when Jongin narrowed his eyes at her. Their relationship was so friendly, Kyungsoo couldn’t help marvelling at how they talked so comfortably.

“Not going to happen, mum.” Jongin dismissed her suggestion immediately, leaving Kyungsoo staring aghast. If he had ever outright denied his parents like that, he would have instantly been punished. It was just the way he was used to.

“Ah, well, you can’t blame me for hoping. Kyungsoo. Jongin says you have nowhere to live; why don’t you stay with us for a while?” She proposed airily, as if it was something that wasn’t worth really thinking about.

Kyungsoo opened his mouth once, twice, then unable to think of anything worthwhile to say. In his own language, he would be expressing his gratefulness, but she wouldn’t be able to understand, so he just nodded enthusiastically.

“Told you it’d be fine, didn’t I?” Jongin pulled Kyungsoo into a pleased one-armed hug. Kyungsoo felt like the sky had just been lifted from his shoulders; all that worrying for nothing.

He couldn’t believe his fortune is finally changing; he can stay. He sagged into Jongin’s side a little, and smiled softly to himself.

The next few hours were chaotic. Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed before, being so preoccupied with Jongin’s mother to witness other people’s reunions, but now he isn’t focused in his own little bubble he can see that everyone else is engaged in their own happy, some very emotional, conversations.

There were more people introducing new friends and potential mates to their families, and Kyungsoo was glad to know he wasn’t the only person who would be getting to know everything around here for the first time. Although it would be more difficult for him, considering everything.

Over there a little way off, he could see stoic Yifan spinning a little giggling girl in the air. Everyone was smiling, even with tears pouring down their faces.

It was all a lot more demonstrative than what Kyungsoo was accustomed to; where he grew up it was frowned upon to show so much of what you’re thinking, to display emotions so openly. Any kind of affection this way was far subtler, or confined to private living spaces.

But he didn’t dislike this different way of being.

He could get used to it.

Jongin hurriedly pushed him in the opposite direction of the throng and guided him towards a small hut like construction.

This was also new to him; he had thought that the tents they’d been using during the long journey here were temporary. Having spent his childhood living in an actual cave, he had expected Jongin’s home to be similar. This looked like a more permanent version of the tents they were in those first few nights.

The animal skins were thicker, layered up to create air pockets that kept in heat, and sewn together more strongly than the tents. The outer layer had been treated with wax to make it waterproof, and there was a flap in the middle of the ceiling for smoke. Huge animal bones supported the whole structure, possibly from a mammoth, Kyungsoo devised. He couldn’t think of another animal big enough for such a purpose.

Jongin pulled back the hanging door, and shoved him inside. It was warm, and dark, but smelled of spices and smoke. Kyungsoo breathed it in, trying to accustom himself to what he would now associate with ‘home’.

“Do you want to sleep with me? Or Jongcheol?” Jongin’s wrinkled nose tells Kyungsoo what he thought of that second option. Kyungsoo had no issue with the younger boy, and it may have been easier to fit into a space with a smaller body, but there was no doubt in Kyungsoo’s mind.

“With you, Jongin, please.” Jongin smiled and nodded like he expected that answer. He walked to the left, and pulled aside another drape that connected a tiny separate space, just big enough for the both of them to lie down in with a small margin around the edge. Jongin picked up one of the furs and took it outside. Kyungsoo followed after him, and watched passively as he shook out the dust accumulation.

“I haven’t slept here for a while.” he said sheepishly by way of explanation. “Go get one of the other furs, would you?” He asked, and Kyungsoo complied quickly, eager to help. He wanted nothing less than to be a burden, and he planned on helping out as much as he was able.

The furs themselves, Kyungsoo thought are from a wolf, and were very well worked; very soft and pliant and Kyungsoo loved the feel of them against his fingertips. Even though during their long life with Jongin there were patches where the fur had fallen off, it’s clear that they’re still very high quality. Jongin had probably had them since he was very young, but taken care of them well.

The rest of Jongin’s family appeared while they were finishing up this task. Jongin’s mother was quick to join in helping to air out Jongin’s living space, fetching things which needed to be cleaned. Jongcheol hovered around them like a fly, wanting to help until Jongin flapped his arm at him, and told him to go and bother someone else. Kyungsoo frowned at him, a little annoyed at the way he was treating his younger brother, but didn’t say anything, instead getting back to his chore in silence.

“We’ll need to get you your own furs to sleep with.” Jongin mused as they worked, more to himself than Kyungsoo.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll deal with everything here, in the meantime you two should go wash before everyone else gets the same idea. Look at the state of you!” She flicked Jongin’s greasy hair playfully, “always such a mess.” She sighed, then teasingly shoved the two older boys outside. “Wash your clothes while you’re there.” She tossed two specially worked absorbent skins, and a small bag of something to Jongin, and then waved, letting the drape fall down behind her.

“Ok then, looks like we’re going to the river.” Jongin blinked, and looked at Kyungsoo dumbly.

Kyungsoo missed half of that conversation because Jongin’s mum was talking too fast for him, but he caught Jongin’s river statement. Self-conscious, he touched his hair and, sure enough, it was in need of a good clean. But here he didn’t have the necessary equipment to get rid of all the sweat; maybe somewhere by the river he could find some of the roots he needed to make a soapy lather.

He followed after Jongin, anticipating being clean again. They meandered through the trees, some of the leaves beginning to shrivel a little, marking the start of autumn. The light beneath Kyungsoo’s feet was dappled on the grass and Kyungsoo realised that hadn’t felt this content in a long while. Even before he was cast out, he hadn’t been happy; hiding a secret like his had been difficult, especially for someone who was already considered strange for preferring to spend time with his sister and mother than his father.

And although nobody here knew his secret either, it was liberating that they didn’t know. They didn’t know anything about him, really. He could have chosen to be someone else if he wanted to, start his life afresh. But that would have been hard, pretending to be something he isn’t- and he feels safe here. Its ok, he thought to himself, this is ok.

Before he saw the river, he could hear the sound of rushing water. The river was a lot larger than anything Kyungsoo had seen before, bigger than the biggest river he lived near while he was growing up. Kyungsoo felt apprehensive about getting in because if the current took him away, he wouldn’t be able to save himself. He couldn’t swim and the water looked to be going very fast. He would be miles away before anyone could catch him.

A quick glance to his left revealed that Jongin was already divesting himself of his clothing, so Kyungsoo followed suit, nervous. Jongin kept walking, however, past another row of foliage. He swept aside some branches, exposing a corner of the river which was shallow, and not caught up in the currents. Kyungsoo breathed a sigh of relief, and set his clothes down next to Jongin’s.

In next to no time, Jongin was submerged in the water, reaching up to his middle. Kyungsoo followed him cautiously. The water was cold, and buffeted his legs, waiting for its chance to sweep him off his feet.

Jongin hung the string of the bag his mother gave him on an overhanging branch, then reached inside and pulled something out. It was a small, rotund pot, which Jongin took the lid off of. It had a grey gelatinous substance inside.

“What is that?” He asked, leaning closer, but careful not to move too close.

“It’s soap. It’s a mixture of ash and fat, it sounds strange I know but it really works. It’s better than soap root.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo smelled the solution, and wrinkled his nose. It wasn’t entirely pleasant.

“I know, it doesn’t look pretty, but trust me.” Jongin laughed. He dunked his head under the water, and came back up completely drenched, with his hair lying flat and water dripping off his fringe into his eyes as he shook his head. He looked like a water spirit from the stories the shaman used to tell, too beautiful to be real.

Kyungsoo blinked hard, and gulped. He’d never thought of anyone this way before. He’d caught himself thinking these kinds of thoughts before about Jongin, but he’d always squashed them back down, and stomped on them just to make sure. He could not and would not fall in love with Jongin, though he thought it would be very easy to.

Jongin dipped his fingers in the mixture, and then rubbed it into his hair. Soon there was grey-white foam saturating his black hair, making it look bigger than it really was. Kyungsoo mimicked him, smiling contentedly at finally feeling clean.

Both of shaved using a small stone razor that was also in the bag. A custom that Kyungsoo had been confused about at first: but he liked how it felt to be bare faced all the time.

After that Jongin took his clothes from the riverbank and dunked them in the water, using more of the soap mixture to clean them. Kyungsoo cringed watching him try to wash them, like a child in his over eagerness.

“Jongin, slow.” Kyungsoo berated him. If he rushed it, his clothes would have dirty spots that he missed.

“Alright, alright.” Jongin rolled his eyes, as if it were a great hardship, but slowed down anyway, scrubbing the leather meticulously like Kyungsoo was.

“Good.” Kyungsoo affirmed, wringing out his tunic and setting it over another branch to dry off a little. It wouldn’t be dry by the time they needed to go back, but it wouldn’t be dripping all over them as they carried it back either.

Once that Jongin was done, they relaxed in the water, Jongin splashing around in a half-hearted attempt at floating on the surface while Kyungsoo clung to the edge, afraid to be swept away. He just watched Jongin for a while, intrigued. Was he playing a game with the river spirits? It seemed that he was trying to propel himself forward fast enough that the current wouldn’t take him away. Kyungsoo worried that he would be punished for provoking them.

Kyungsoo called out his name, making the man jolt upright in surprise, planting his feet in the riverbed. Maybe he had forgotten that he was there.

“What is this?” He copied Jongin’s arm movements, lopsided circles, and Jongin smirked,

“I’m swimming.”

“Swimming?” Kyungsoo echoed, wrapping his tongue around the unfamiliar word.

“Yeah, it’s fun, and useful.” He said. It looked useful definitely, but fun? Kyungsoo wasn’t so sure. He had seen children be lost to river spirits before, they were mischievous and self-righteous. They believed that anything they touched, they could steal.

“Do you want to join me?” Jongin paddled further out into a more dangerous current, showing off.

“No, I cannot swimming. Stay here, river is danger. Will take you away.” Kyungsoo warned Jongin. He was being far too reckless and the anxiety must have showed on Kyungsoo’s face. Jongin laughed a little at his request, as though there was nothing for him to worry about, but returned to safer depths anyway.

“Thank you.”

 [EN1] “No problem.” Jongin said, splashing Kyungsoo a little playfully. “It’s good that we’re clean, I’d like to be presentable for tonight.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo wondered what was so special about tonight. Aside from returning home, of course. He would want to be clean and fresh for that.

“Well, it’s silly, but we have a celebration feast on the day of our return each year. It’s been a tradition since Joonmyeon’s grandfather was chief.”

“That will be nice.” Kyungsoo murmured, wondering if he was really telling the truth or not. A crowd of people he doesn’t know, talking a language he barely understands, with customs he hasn’t quite grasped yet. What if he messed up? He would be shunned.

“Yes.” Jongin agreed quickly, “I can show you a story, as well! You didn’t get the chance to see any before we left for home.” He sounded so happy, Kyungsoo couldn’t bear to tell him that he didn’t want to go.

“Story?” He questioned, hoping to distract himself. Jongin nodded, and moved his arms in an arc around him, his body flowing like the water surrounding him, then smiled brightly.

“Maybe we can do the story of the great waters!” He exclaimed. Kyungsoo smiled back, a little confused but glad for Jongin’s evident excitement.

Kyungsoo’s teeth started chattering because of the chill, but he didn’t want to leave without Jongin. He didn’t remember the way back to Jongin’s house, and didn’t know how to ask without appearing rude. Luckily Jongin noticed quite quickly that he was cold, and ushered him out of the water, pressing an absorbent skin into his arms. He dried off his own body with the other, wiping away the droplets that clung to his golden skin.

They didn’t put their clothes back on because they were still sodden, instead walking back , holding the dam skins over their modesty. Kyungsoo missed the side glances Jongin was sending his bare body, instead fascinated by the white flowers dotted around the bases of the trees.

Why hadn’t he noticed them on the way there? This was great. He smiled inwardly; these flowers had leaves which gave delicious flavour when added to food. He couldn’t wait to use them to season a meal in gratitude for Jongin’s mother accepting him into her home.

At Jongin’s home, Jongin lent Kyungsoo of his old clothes to wear. They were too small for him, and too big for Jongcheol.

As Jongin sifted through the pile, Kyungsoo decided he would need to make some of his own, and soon. In order to fit in better, he would make them in the style of the people who live here, and not his own people. He had tried to dispose of the trousers he was wearing before Jongin found him, but Jongin had stopped him.

“Try this one.” Jongin held out a tunic with lines of red and orange fibre thread patterning the collar. It was beautiful, but so were most of the clothes Jongin seemed to be giving him. The main difference between Kyungsoo’s clothes and these were the shape- Kyungsoo was used to more form fitting clothes, that were tailored to the individual, to enhance the body of the wearer. Here, clothes were beautiful in their own right, looser fitting but decorated lavishly, with stitches and prints that looked painstaking to make.

Kyungsoo tried on the tunic, enjoying how it fell across his shoulders. He would wear this one a lot, he thought, turning this way and that, stretching out to make sure it felt right.

“You look good.” Jongin complimented him, nodded approvingly. Kyungsoo flushed, turning away. He was just being nice, nothing else. Kyungsoo needed to remember that. “Try this one as well. Then there’s a few more leggings that might fit you. I’ll ask mum if she can make you a few things to wear as well”

They’d just finished sorting out the clothing when a woman Kyungsoo hadn’t met yet peered through the entrance.

“Jongin! There you are!” She cried, diving towards him and laughing. Jongin hugged her back joyfully, spinning her around. A startling stab of jealousy shot through Kyungsoo’s chest, and he had to look away for a moment. This woman was very beautiful, and Jongin was beautiful too. He hadn’t mentioned that he had a lover waiting for him back home, but it would only make sense for these two to be together. They matched well.

“Jiyun! To what to I owe this pleasure?” Jongin leaned back, and the woman released him.

“Am I not allowed to visit my favourite cousin?” She pouted, hands on her hips. Kyungsoo bit his lip, determined not to let the fact that they were relatives make him feel happy, because he shouldn’t have been annoyed in the first place.

“Of course you are, but I know you; usually you have some kind of ulterior motive.” Kyungsoo didn’t know what ‘ulterior motive’ meant but judging by the way Jiyun was frowning at Jongin, he guessed it wasn’t a good thing.

“Well, I was going to wait until later to greet you, but Joonmyeon wanted to know if you’ll be lead storyteller for the celebration tonight?”

“Me?! Why?” Jongin’s voice out slightly squeaky, and he overs his mouth in embarrassed surprise,

“Yes. Saehyun injured his leg or something a few days ago, and can’t walk. He recommended you to take his place.” Jongin gaped at her, in shock. Kyungsoo supposed that this must be a fairly big deal.

Jongin didn’t say anything, just standing there open mouthed until Kyungsoo patted his back to wake him up. The movement caught the eye of Jihyun, who had until then not noticed he was even there.

“Oh, and who might you be?” She asked, tilting her head and looking him up and down. He remembered that he was still wearing Jongin’s old clothes, and it made him embarrassed. There was no telling what she was thinking, her eyes calculating and curious.

“Jiyun, this is Kyungsoo.” Jongin introduced him, and Kyungsoo bowed jerkily. “Kyungsoo, this is Jiyun.” Jongin said, when he stood upright again. She nodded her head respectfully, then smiled almost as brightly as Jongin. He could see the resemblance then.

“How did you two meet? Which cave are you from? Why did you come back with this idiot?” She barraged him with questions, too fast for Kyungsoo to catch. At the last one, Jongin narrowed his eyes at his cousin, elbowing her aside. He started to answer the questions, but Jiyun stopped him.

“Shh. I wasn’t asking you.” She snapped, playfully. Kyungsoo was agog, trying to understand what exactly was going on. He blinked at her, then said a phrase he had practiced a lot:

“I am sorry, can you say that again, please?” Jiyun looked surprised at his unusual accent, but repeated herself anyway, slower this time so he could keep up.

“I met Jongin in forest, he helped me. I am not from any cave here, and I come back with Jongin because he is kind.” He closed his mouth and hoped he said it right. There are still certain sounds that he has trouble with, and though Jongin assures him that he’s perfectly understandable, he’s still very aware of it when he’s speaking.

Jiyun stared at him, intrigued, as if she could understand him by reading his face. “You’ll have to tell me all about that at some point, but right now you-“ she pointed at Jongin, “-need to go and practice for tonight.” She grabbed his arm and yanked him forward, before pushing the spluttering man outside. “Saehyun is waiting for you at the usual place, so hurry up! You’re keeping him waiting.”

Kyungsoo must have looked a bit lost without Jongin nearby, so Jiyun took him by the wrist and pulled him along with her too, a lot more gently than she did her cousin. She let his wrist go once they had left Jongin’s home, and he walked comfortably beside her. It was the first time he had walked through the main encampment of the village, or cave as it was called, and it was an eye opening experience.

Jongin’s home was on the smaller side, especially compared to some of the other constructions. Kyungsoo supposed that they housed more people, or were communal buildings.

“What do you think?” Jihyun asked, catching him staring open mouthed at everything.

“It’s very good.” Kyungsoo said, cringing at his lack of vocabulary. Jihyun just smiled however.

“I’m glad you like it. Is it very different to where you’re from?”

“Yes. Very. I lived in cave, in mountain.” Kyungsoo explained to the best of his ability.

“Oh, a real cave. How interesting. You must be from very far away, then.” She mused

“Yes. We use…like this-“ he gestured to the buildings, “-just for walking. Travel?”

“Yeah, a lot of foreigners are surprised by the way we live. It takes a lot of work to build a new house this way, but they are strong and can withstand blizzards in winter.”

“Ohh.” Kyungsoo marvelled. If a blizzard was what he thought it was, then that was surely impressive. Sometimes even living in a cave it was difficult for everyone to make it through the winter. But these places seemed to be built with that in mind, rather than relying on the spirits to protect them.

Jongin’s people took matters into their own hands more often than not, and while it seemed reckless and provocative to the spirits to challenge them in this way, clearly it was working. Jihyun coughed, interrupting his thoughts.

“I hope you are decent at cooking, because we need all the help we can get if we’re going to get everything done by nightfall.”

“The celebration?” Kyungsoo clarified. Jihyun nodded.

“Yes. We weren’t given as much warning this time, so everyone is in a bit of a tizzy, rushing around trying to get things done.”

She led him to a gaggle of women, who are chattering while preparing food. Kyungsoo relaxed a little; if there was anything he can do it was make food. After Jiyun introduced everyone to him, and Kyungsoo promptly forgot all their names, she handed him a knife and his chore began.

It was quite therapeutic, really, Kyungsoo thought to himself. He never thought he’d be able to do this again; cook for people. It was a woman’s job back home, and Kyungsoo only did it when his mother was busy, and he was helping his sister. The familiar feel of a knife in his hand and root vegetables on the table before him reminded him of home, but of good memories.

As the rest of the women acclimatised to Kyungsoo’s presence, they fell into their usual routine. They talked easily about the goings on of the cave while most of the members were away, and the events of the summer gathering.

He was glad he didn’t have to say anything, and he enjoyed listening to the rest of the women gossiping. One of them brought up the festivities later tonight, a woman who had gone to the summer gathering sighing and exclaiming that she was looking forward to drinking the fruit wine that an old woman made. Another mentioned how she felt sorry for Saehyun with his injury. Apparently he had been looking forward to this for a while, and the broken leg had taken more of a toll on him than most people realised.

Jihyun jumped in with the news that Jongin would be leading the performance tonight. This information was met with mixed reactions: some were pleased for him, as Jongin was a very good storyteller- he deserved this honour. Others, however, thought that he was too young. He may be good, but did he have what it took for this position? It was a tough choice, and they were all glad that they weren’t the ones that had to make it.

Kyungsoo was still in the dark about what this whole story-telling thing was all about. He was bubbling with excitement, but he would just have to wait until later to find out.

hey guys its been a while i know but im back at uni now and its pretty full on, got some intense projects goin on lol (ill be going to south korea in a few weeks aaaah)

come chat to me on twitter :D

i kind of feel like i cheated u guys bc im editing this lol there isnt THAT much different

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