When Jongin woke up, he discovered that he couldn’t move. He was trapped beneath Sehun who was drooling on him, and Kyungsoo who also seemed to have moved in his sleep: now their legs were tangled together.

Jongin tried to get rid of Sehun’s weight, but he was too heavy. He worked free one arm, and pinched his waist, waking him up quite effectively. Sehun jerked, realised where he was, and scrambled away wiping his mouth. The commotion awakened Kyungsoo, who jumped away as well, nervous.

Jongin sat up slowly, wiping away the drool on his shoulder left by his best friend.

“Gross.” he complained, glaring at his best friend.

“I didn’t mean to!” Sehun retorted, already dressing himself for the day. Jongin rolled his eyes, and looked to Kyungsoo who was sat trying to take up as little space as possible. He seemed embarrassed, and Jongin wanted to tell him not to worry about it, because he and Sehun often woke up like that.

Jongin started to get dressed as well, and wondered if he should offer Kyungsoo a spare change of clothes, something to protect his back from the sun. Then he remembered the salve Heejin had given him yesterday, and searched for that while Sehun continued to mutter under his breath, intending to help him apply it.

It was hidden under the furs. Kyungsoo looked a little surprised when he held it up, but obediently turned around to let Jongin apply it. His skin was rough under his hands, and his defined muscles tensed. Did Jongin make him uncomfortable? Biting his lip, Jongin endeavoured to finish this quickly.

When Jongin was almost done, Heejin peeked through a gap in the tent, and told them to get a move on, or they’d end up getting the bad jobs on the rota today. With such a large group of people living in one space, there was a lot that needed to be done to keep everything running smoothly. No one wanted to be on cesspit duty, and while it wasn’t exactly first come first served, Joonmyeon had a habit of giving out the better jobs to the people that were there early.

“I’m going whether you guys are done or not.” Sehun announced after she had left, crawling past them, “see you later.” He left the tent flap open to air it out, allowing the early morning sunlight to come cascading onto them.

Jongin took Kyungsoo’s hand, which he noticed was starting to become a habit, and the duo walked hurriedly to the space in front of the cooking shelter. Kyungsoo didn’t try to make Jongin drop his hand, even when they stopped walking.

Like every other morning, there was a small crowd gathered there, and Joonmyeon was at the front trying to organise people into groups. Yesterday he had been given hunting as his job, with Yifan, Sehun and Tao, and he was anxious to find out what their next chore would be. He hoped it wasn’t going to be cooking duty, because he had terrible dexterity, and was useless at using anything sharp without cutting himself.

Jongin, with Kyunsoo’s hand still encased in his own, moved towards Yifan who stood a full head above everyone else; a convenient beacon for his friends to follow. Yifan greeted him sleepily, and Tao was listening to Sehun whining about having less sleeping space because of invaders.

Gradually, the last few people joined the group. Joonmyeon clapped his hands, commanding silence and attention now that everyone was here. He wished everyone a good morning, then pointed to some people on the far side of the crowd from Jongin, informing them they would be on hunting duty for the next few days. He points at every group except Jongin’s, assigning every job but cooking. The crowd gradually dispersed, each small group leaving to start on their duties so they could head into the remains of the summer gathering sooner, as it was coming to an end now.

He pointed to Yifan. “Your team is on meal duty, ok? Bring Kyungsoo with you too.” Yifan nodded amenably and Jongin looked up at the cloudy sky in defeat. Sighing, he admitted that he had to do it at some point anyway. Why not get it over with?

Before they start on their task for the day, like a lot of other people, Jongin and Kyungsoo headed towards the river to wash. Kyungsoo in particular was rather grimy, so he needed to visit the river urgently since they would be working with food. Jongin brought with him a spare pair of leather pants for Kyungsoo to wear so he didn’t have to put the dirty ones back on.

Kyungsoo cleaned himself a little way upstream to Jongin and the rest of them, so that he couldn’t be seen. Jongin let him do as he wished, not wanting to offend him in any way. Afterwards, he helped him reapply Heejin’s salve, since he had accidentally washed that off.

Being clean made a world of difference: Kyungsoo looked better physically without the layer of dirt, and he seemed to radiate happiness from within as well. This time as they walked through the camp, Jongin didn’t have to hold Kyungsoo’s hand, but Jongin felt like maybe he should anyway. Just in case.

With Yifan in the lead, they got down to business quickly, traipsing through to the cooking shelter. They were to begin preparing a meal for the evening, as that was the main meal. Earlier in the day, it was up to the individual to provide food for themselves.

Yifan got out various preserved vegetables and the meat they had brought in yesterday, and delegated roles. Yifan started chopping things with finesse, Tao left to fetch water from the river, and Sehun tended the dying fire, blowing on it to make the flames grow. Jongin stood holding his knife out in front of him warily, and Kyungsoo watched him, eyebrows furrowed.

Kyungsoo watched Jongin dither pathetically, too scared to commit to slicing anything in case he makes a mess. The foreign man appeared to be a bit frustrated, which was a common reaction to Jongin’s cooking ability. Sheepish, Jongin handed over the knife. Kyungsoo took it with relief, and began cutting at the vegetables with practiced skill. Jongin watched open mouth falling open in awe at the man’s proficiency.

Sensing his gaze, Kyungsoo looked up, then smiled at him. He took Jongin’s hand, pushed the knife into it, then with his own hand firmly over the top, he guided him in slicing the wild onions, and root vegetables. The meat didn’t need that much preparation, as it had already been sliced into strips.

When Tao walked back in a while later with the water, Sehun had built the fire to a good heat, and all the meat and vegetables is chopped into small enough pieces to put into a pot and let simmer gently.

Sehun whispered something to Tao while side-eyeing Jongin and Kyungsoo, then laughed gleefully. What were those two giggling about? Jongin narrowed his eyes at them and they turned away quickly, hiding their faces.

Oblivious, Kyungsoo stirred the mixture in the pot, the light from the fire making his skin glow orange.

The whole camp ate the food they made that night, and after all of the utensils were cleaned and the leftovers taken care of, people headed to their own tents to be ready for tomorrow’s responsibilities: tomorrow they begin the preparations to head home to the southern mountain range.

“I can’t wait until we head home; I’m getting tired of this place,” Sehun sighed, thinking back to his family back at home, who had been unable to make it this year. His mother had become pregnant, and was unable to travel far, and his father had stayed behind to look after her. Jongin’s mother, too, didn’t come this year, but that was because of her illness. She was too weak to walk very far. His younger brother, Jongcheol, was too young, but he’d promised to come next time. Jongin missed both of them.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go back home too.” Jongin agreed.

That night as they slept, Jongin wondered where Kyungsoo’s family were. Did Kyungsoo miss them? Did they miss him? He resolves to start trying to communicate better with the man, to either teach him their language, or learn Kyungsoo’s. They can’t keep going with just hand gestures and smiles.

The next morning passed almost the same as the day before, apart from the announcement first thing in the morning that there would be more work than usual today. There would be no hunting trips today, since there was enough saved up from the last few days

As they worked to make the final arrangements, packing everything away so that the next morning they only have to do minimal work before they leave, Jongin tried getting Kyungsoo to speak. He pointed to a few objects, said their names, and gestured to Kyungsoo for him to repeat after him. The other man caught on quickly, pointing to things and waiting for Jongin to tell him what they were.

Words like ‘drink’ and ‘eat’ were easy as well, but ‘go’ and other more difficult to act out actions were harder for Kyungsoo to understand straight away. Jongin made sure to speak slowly when talking to Sehun or anyone else, giving Kyungsoo a chance to listen in and try to understand what was going on. It was clear that Kyungsoo was putting in a lot of effort, and Jongin caught him mumbling under his breath more than once.

The last morning of their stay at the summer gathering arrived. After everyone woke up, they immediately began to take their tents down. With all the thick waterproofed leather rolled up and the provisions evenly distributed, the whole camp marched away from the plateau they’d inhabited since the beginning of summer. They had been here for three turns of the moon, and soon autumn would creep up on them.

It had been a great gathering this year. Jongin had even managed to win some competitions: story telling competitions of course, he couldn’t run like Yifan cold, or fight like Tao. Sehun had competed as well, but he hadn’t fared as well as Jongin, a truth Jongin liked to remind him of. Over and over, because that’s what friends were for, right?

Jongin’s cave was made up of about fifty people, with a few more at home, so walking home would be slow going. If it were just a few of them, they would be able to move a lot faster but they had children with them, who tired quickly.

The sun felt like it was trying to get underneath his skin, and sweat was dripping down his body in what felt like waves. Jongin looked at Kyungsoo, who was bright red from the heat and glistening, and stopped his complaints short. Kyungsoo must not have spent much time outside wherever he’s from, unlike Jongin, who was out in the sun almost all day. He looked like he’s in so much pain- his sunburn was still not totally healed yet, but at least now he was wearing something to protect him from further burns.

Kyungsoo tapped his shoulder

“Water?” He asked, in his heavily accented voice. Jongin fumbled for the canteen attached to his belt, and handed it to him. Kyungsoo takes it, and drank heavily. Jongin found himself watching his throat as he swallowed. He blinked and looked away, clenching his teeth.

When the sun set behind them, Jongin felt like they were chasing their stretched shadows. They had made good progress, and were almost a third of the way home now. If they got up early every morning and pushed themselves then they could probably make it back before the end of the week.

They didn’t put up the tents that night. Instead they just lay their furs on the grass and hoped it wouldn’t rain while they slept. Because of the lack of privacy, everyone ended up sleeping within arm’s reach of another person, everyone crowding together regardless of age or rank. The children slept in the middle, with the adults surrounding them like a barricade.

Jongin woke up with Kyungsoo curled into his chest most mornings.

More days passed by, the scenery changing from flat woodland to the craggy terrain of the mountains which Jongin called home. Kyungsoo was slowly learning more and more of their language, and could actually hold his own in a short conversation now, even though sometimes it was hard to understand what he meant.

“Jongin, where we go?”

“’Where are we going’?” Jongin confirms, “To our cave. Only a way to go now.”

Kyungsoo nodded, and chewed on the inside of his cheek contemplatively.

“Is there something wrong?” Jongin asked him, concerned. Kyungsoo never usually showed any kind of weakness, either because he didn’t know how to say it, or because he didn’t want to. Jongin didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable.

“No, is nothing wrong,” he assured him, but the way he looked straight ahead, rigid and __ said otherwise. Silence swelled between them. Jongin didn’t know what to say. He wanted to help, but didn’t know how.

Tao came up from behind them, slinging his arms over their shoulders.

“Haven’t spoken to you guys in ages,” he enthused, pushing himself between them without reading the atmosphere, “what’s new?”

“Tao we just spoke this morning,” Jongin laughed, and Kyungsoo smiled thinly. Jongin watched him for any sign that he doesn’t want to talk, but he seemed to be ok now.

“Well, I haven’t spoken to Kyungsoo since like yesterday, he’s way more interesting than you are. It’s nice to have another foreigner come to live with us.”  

Tao wasn’t originally from Jongin’s cave; his sister mated someone from here, so he moved in with her. Now he lived with Yifan in his house, because Yifan’s mother had died in childbirth and his father during a hunting trip.  He would’ve been totally alone if it wasn’t for Tao, and he was a lot happier now that he had Tao filling in the silence.

Tao was especially good at talking, and one of the people who Kyungsoo learned the most from. It was a talent of his, to keep talking for as long as he did. As he gossiped merrily about the goings on of the people around them, the arguments and developments between the newly mated couples, Jongin found himself zoning out.

Jongin wondered how far Kyungsoo had come from where he used to live. And why he had been alone in the forest when they found him. Then Jongin realised that he could probably ask him now, he spoke their language well enough to understand. But what if it was a touchy subject? Maybe he ran away from home for some reason. Or maybe he really was a criminal?

Jongin decided to stop conjuring fantastical stories that were probably far from the truth, and just ask him. The question was how? And when? He felt like it should be done when they had a small measure of privacy, so maybe he would wait until they got home.

While lost in this train of thought, Tao and Kyungsoo had been discussion whether Kyungsoo thought the patterns sewn onto Tao’s sleeves would hold until next summer, or if he should re-stitch them. Kyungsoo didn’t seem to have any idea what that meant, and was just nodding along.

Jongin allowed Tao to monopolise him for now, but stayed close by anyway. He didn’t really understand why he feels the need to make sure he’s ok all the time, but the sentiment’s lingered wherever he goes. He felt responsible for looking after him, and making sure he wasn’t uncomfortable.

On the last day of walking the autumn sun comes out in full force, overheating and making everyone sweaty and grumpy. They would be reaching home tomorrow, and the hole cave was antsy and tense.

“It’s so hot, Jongin, I think I might die. Why aren’t we home yet? I really can’t wait to get back to the cave, seriously, could this get any worse?” Jongin rolled his eyes, feeling the same way but too hot to tolerate his friend’s complaints.  “I’m so sweaty, I think I’m going to have to throw this tunic away- there’s no way I’ll be able to get this all out. Ugh.”

Sehun continued about this that and the other until even Kyungsoo, who usually was able to tolerate the man’s whining, looked irritated and is shooting him annoyed glances. Jongin ripped into his share of the dried meat they had carried with them, and finally snapped.

“Sehun!” Jongin growled, making his friend shut up instantly “Be quiet, ok? Everyone is anxious to get home, not just you.”

The peace that came after Sehun stopped talking is a relief, and Jongin started to relax a little bit. Sehun glared at the ground, kicking at the ground with every other step he took.

Kyungsoo, situated in the middle of the two, took hold of Jongin’s arm and drags it up so that his hand is on Sehun’s shoulder.

“Um, what are you doing?” Jongin chuckled, confused, but he let him carry on anyway.

“Sehun is sad, so you to be him happy.” Kyungsoo delicately informed him, letting go of his wrist. Jongin felt the ghost of his hand on his skin afterwards.

“How is this going to help?” Jongin asked sceptically, but to his surprise it actually seemed to be working; Sehun flashed him a smirk, looking between them gleefully. Kyungsoo smiled his big smile, the one that Jongin liked, not the small one that meant he was just trying to get someone to stop talking to him. Jongin couldn’t look away: he didn’t even notice the heat anymore.

Sehun removed Jongin’s hand, and sidled up to his ear,

“Should I help you out? You should’ve just said yes when I asked you the first time,” he snickered. Embarrassed, Jongin shoved him away, making Sehun laugh loudly, catching the attention of a few people nearby.

“Ha! You should see your face!” He chortled, clutching his stomach. Jongin opened his mouth to reprimand him again, but then he continued, “really, though; I could help you out here, if you want?”

“Go away, Sehun. Go talk to Tao,” Jongin grumbled. Sehun snorted, and made his way to Tao and Yifan. It was at that point that Jongin realised that was a bad idea to send him over there, because now Sehun was pointing at him. Tao and Yifan laughed, looking at him. Jongin fights the urge to cover his face and hide.

Kyungsoo placed a hand on Jongin’s forearm, looking concerned.

“What is you need help with?”. Red in the face, Jongin spluttered out something about Sehun and stupid jokes, which is a total lie but satisfied Kyungsoo anyway, he hoped.

By nightfall, everyone but Kyungsoo seemed to know about Jongin’s new infatuation with him. Was that what this was? It was uncommon, but he’d heard stories of people who had been born with the wrong spirit, who fell in love with people that had the same body as them. Jongin didn’t think that was what he was feeling: he had never felt like a woman.

He would ask his mother when they returned: she would know what to do. He didn’t want to go insane trying to figure this out on his own.

Laid down next to Kyungsoo, who was already asleep, Jongin ran his hand through his greasy hair and grimaced. Even though everyone was in the same state as him, he still felt the burning desire to be clean again, since there hadn’t been any opportunity to wash as they were walking. He tried to get to sleep, but found himself unable to forget that Kyungsoo was barely an inch away from him. He groaned softly, screwed his eyes shut as if that might help.

He’d been becoming more aware of Kyungsoo’s presence, of his body against his, these past nights. He was getting tired and cranky from the lack of sleep. He’d thought about asking Kyungsoo to sleep away from him, but he didn’t want to upset him: he seemed to have taken it to be his right to sleep next to Jongin.

Kyungsoo’s hand slid over Jongin’s bare stomach, and Jongin was suddenly not so tired anymore. Frozen, his eyes were as wide as they could go, staring at Kyungsoo’s fingers splayed out on his tummy. Jongin’s body went into overdrive, hypersensitive to the other man’s touch. He looked around to see if anyone else was awake: no one was.

Should he push him off? Or leave him there?

He bit his lip, then pushed him away slowly, trying not to wake him. Kyungsoo’s arm flopped limply onto the ground between them. Jongin sagged in relief, and looked at Kyungsoo’s sleeping form ruefully. He slept on peacefully, not knowing anything of the conflict in Jongin’s mind.

It took a while for Jongin to finally fall asleep, staring at the stars absently while his mind raced, but he finally dozed off.

The following morning Jongin woke up with a warm body weighing him down: Kyungsoo had moved again and was sleeping on Jongin’s arm, pinning him down. Jongin nudged at him, needing him to get off so he could breathe again.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin shook him gently. As the sleeping man woke up, he moaned that Jongin didn’t understand, “what?” Jongin asked, shaking him again. Taking Jongin by surprise, Kyungsoo jolted up face reddening, saying something in his own language that sounded like a frantic apology.

Sehun, on the other side of Jongin snorted, and Jongin turned around to glare at him. Sehun just shrugged.

As the day passed, Jongin began to recognise the scenery; specific trees and rocks that marked places he played near as a child. In the near distance, above the treetops, he can see the mountain face, which is home to his cave. He can feel his mood improving as he thought about his reunion with his family. He was going to run the final stretch, like everyone else who left loved ones behind, and then his mother would take him into her arms. He’d spin her around. His younger brother, who had been barely able to walk when he left will join in then, pick him up and cuddle him to his chest-

Something hard and rough smacked into his face, a tree branch, snapping him out of his daydream. He could hear hysterical laughter somewhere to his left. He glanced around hoping no one but Sehun saw, but unfortunately Kyungsoo was biting his lip and holding back a smile too. He didn’t give in to the temptation to kick the tree; that would have been immature of him.

Head hanging, Jongin walked faster to escape the source of his embarrassment, also known as Sehun.

The tension was palpable throughout the group. They were so close that they’d sent a runner to the cave to tell the people waiting there of their imminent arrival. Every one walks hurriedly, even those carrying heavy luggage.

Except Kyungsoo who is, as usual, left unsure of what’s going on.

“Jongin, why is everyone different today?” He inquired unobtrusively, trying not to draw attention from other people.

“Because we’re nearly home,” Jongin explained, smiling. Then another though occurred to him; it wasn’t Kyungsoo’s home. What was he going to do? Where was he going to stay? There was room in Jongin’s house for Kyungsoo to stay with him, but would he want to stay there, after being stuck with him all this time? Maybe he would rather stay by himself- Jongin would happily help him to build a dwelling.

A few weeks ago, he might’ve just left his feelings unsaid, but now he felt more comfortable with Kyungsoo.

“Kyungsoo, when we get there, where do you want to live?”

“I live with you?” Jongin was pretty sure Kyungsoo didn’t understand what he was asking. He bites his lip, and looks for a way to explain this without confusing or embarrassing him.

“I mean... when we get to our cave, do you want to stay with me, or someone else? Or by yourself?”

“I don’t want to be alone, Jongin.” Kyungsoo’s lips were pursed in frustration.

“Yes, but with whom?”

“You, Jongin. Is not ok? I can be me only if you don’t want,”

“No, no, I want that. I do. I just wanted to know what you wanted.” He knew he was talking too fast, and that Kyungsoo was lost already by the frown on his face.

“Jongin, I am sorry. You want me to live not with you, I will be just myself.”

“What? No, I-I want you to live with me!” He exclaimed, startling Kyungsoo. Jongin closed his eyes and sighed quietly. So much for not embarrassing himself again. At least Sehun wasn’t watching them: that would just make the situation a hundred times worse.

“Oh.” Kyungsoo said, looking away.

He rubbed his face exhaustedly and adjusted his rucksack, which had been biting into his shoulders, and leaving red welts. He was suddenly very aware of how long it had been since he last cleaned himself properly. Too long. His face was grimy and his hair was lank. Usually he wouldn’t care in this situation, but he feels different now that Kyungsoo is here. He wanted to look good for him.

This was something he didn’t plan on admitting to anyone, especially Kyungsoo himself. It would be too embarrassing. He winced just imagining Sehun’s reaction, especially after the way he had rejected the idea when he first brought it up. He grimaced: it was obvious anyway, everyone had already heard the gossip that Sehun had been spreading.

Despite not being ready to announce it to anyone just yet, inside the privacy of his own mind he had already come to the terms with the fact that he liked Kyungsoo in a way that was different than friendship.

He wondered what it would be like to live with Kyungsoo in a more permanent dwelling, rather than just lying on the ground each night. Maybe in a house of their own one day, rather than with his mother in the next room. He was so busy imagining this that he didn’t notice when Kyungsoo was waving in his face. Kyungsoo had to get right in his face and call his name to get his attention.

“Jongin people are running, are we close?” Jongin looked around dazedly to find that Kyungsoo was right; people waere beginning to run. He took in their surroundings and broke into a grin; they were so close he could almost taste his mother’s cooking! He laughed and grabbed Kyungsoo’s wrist, following the crowd. They caught up with everyone else, who was whooping and cheering, and even Kyungsoo was smiling.

Their rucksacks were bouncing on their backs painfully, but Jongin didn’t care. They turned a corner, and the cave came into view. In the distance he could see the rest of his cave members, the ones who didn’t go to summer gathering. They were running too, aiming to meet in the middle.

He searched the crowd for his mother and younger brother, and ran faster when he spotted them, pulling Kyungsoo along with him. Letting go of Kyungsoo at the very last moment, he catapulted himself into his mother’s arms, and dragged his brother between them, holding them tight.

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