Pain, that’s what I feel right now. Pure agonizing pain. Who wouldn’t be hurt, when you’re the best man of the man you ever loved?

It was any other day and as usual, I got out to fetch my mails, but then a certain envelope caught my eye

Come with us in our journey to love and happiness; to tackle the wonders of the world with my other half and to know the tie that bounded us together

We are joyfully inviting you to come at Fern Palace at 8 in the morning to witness the bounding of our heart, mind, body and soul as one

We hope that you could attend as the best man of Kim Jaejoong

I dropped the invitation after reading it.

Jaejoong is going to get married already?

Now here I am, in front of the altar beside Kim Jeajoong waiting for his bride as she walked gracefully on the aisle

“Yunnie saranghae” Jeajoong whispered while he played my hair

“Nado saranghae Boo” I opened one eye to see that he was shock knowing that I was still awake

“How could you trick me like that???” he squealed as he slapped my chest playfully

“How could you steal my heart away then?” I asked back

They we’re doing the vows already saying their “I do’s” and they kissed. It was like pure torture to me seeing the only man I can love getting married with my eyes. My heart was breaking slowly, breaking into tiny particles like sand that would be impossible to mend

After the whole ceremony, we went to the reception area, which was beautifully placed near the shore, s I decided to cool off. I get my act all up, to forget the pain. So I picked up my shoes and walked bare footed on the sand. It tickled my feet but I felt nothing, I feel do numb all over my body, like satan just caught my soul

I was decided to sit on a rock as I face the beautiful tiding ocean ahead of me. I felt nothing of my body, like my soul already departed from it but the cool feeling on my cheeks woke me up from my thoughts. It felt cool so I touched my cheek. It felt wet and I knew then that I cried but I didn’t intended to stop it. I’ll just spoil myself today and let all my feelings off my system

“I wish my feelings are just like the wind. They pass by and come by but never stayed forever. If I could’ve prevented this from happening, it wouldn’t be this hard and painful. I wish life is easy so I can just cry my pains away, so that I can just wipe it was easy as wiping tears. How I wish………….I had never loved

“Yunho…………….” A voice called me

“Jeajoong” I replied as I turned around to face him with a smile though my tears are still rolling down my cheeks

“Why are you crying?” he asked. He asked as if he doesn’t know the answer

“Oh this?” I wiped my tears away “Don’t mind those, I’m just happy that your married. That’s all” I said as I faked my smile, like how I mastered it for the passing years

“Yun…….” He stepped closer to me

“Stop…….Jaejoong……..just stop” I said as I stepped backwards

“Yun…………..” he called out but I didn’t reply, I just stared at his eyes. They looked so tired, so dull, so out of life

“Don’t” I whispered. We we’re staring at each other’s faces, like memorizing every edge and line, every flaw and every fine. We stared at each other in silence, no words we’re exchanged but pains we’re shared

“I love you” he said as he sighed and sat on the rock where I was recently

“It’s all too late for that” I said emotionless. I couldn’t handle this anymore. The pain I feel inside like my heart was pulverized, it can never be mended and if ever it will, I will never be the same

“Yun…….” he whispered

“Goodbye” I walked away from the sea. My body felt numb again and I can’t feel anything anymore. The pain is too much, it hurts very much

As I said in the Forward, i have nothing against Jaejoong's soon-to-be-wife but simply decribing through this story how i feel inside.

You know the feeling that you believed on somethinge ven though people said it's not real? like Santa Clause. I believed in YunJae so much that when i heard thsi news just today? it pained me, knowing that something i believed in was not true.

I know fangirls out there are denying this fact but even if its true or not, someday Jaejoong will make his own family and Maybe Yunho too. We just need to accept and be happy for them

*Waves*

I'm not expecting that many will read this >_<