Chaerin decided to make the first move to get rid of the tension she slowly sat opposite him. She started with most obvious question that had to be asked for she was already an hour late.

“Have you been waiting long?”

“No. Not very long. I’m fine with waiting.” Jiyong answered but it was the total opposite and Chaerin knew that.

“You never liked waiting. You always said it’s a waste of your time.” She retorted; perhaps with the intent of possibly hinting at a double meaning for it. She knew he was growing tired of always waiting for her.

“Well I invited you so it doesn’t matter, besides if I’m waiting for you it’s not really a waste of my time is it?” he told her with utter sincerity looking into her eyes which made Chaerin look away.

Silence fell once again. But this time it was Jiyong who decided to break it; the tension.

“Listen, about last night..” Jiyong began but he was cut-off by Chaerin;

“No Oppa. I should be the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t have slapped you, it was wrong of me to do that. I wasn’t thinking.. I should’ve.. should’ve controlled my emotions better when you said..”

Her eyes began to tear up she looked down at her hands on her lap to try to hold them back. The memory she had been trying to repress was all coming back to her. The words they had said to one another, the shouting & the final strike that had brought them both to where they are now.

How could she have lost her control, she was always the one who was calm between the two of them however last night she lost it. Then again, it looked as though she was more in control of her tears today;

“I can’t lose it now. Not now, because he’s not going to like what I’m gonna say next.” She shook her head and looked up at Jiyong once more.

“Exactly! I shouldn’t have said those things; you wouldn’t have been compelled to hit me if I didn’t say them..”

Jiyong said. He smiled encouragingly at her, to show that he wasn’t at all mad because he deserved it; however his smile was unfortunately unrequited. He then stood and sat next to her, gently taking her hands and clasping it in his; by now his intent on ending their relationship was out of the window.

Just then as soon as he had gotten a hold of Chaerin’s hands, as soon as he had realized that a separation from her would be unbearable; she pulled away not just her hands, but from him.

“I’m not finished..” Chaerin said softly.

Why did it suddenly feel like he, Jiyong was the only one trying to hold on to this relationship? Wasn’t it he who up until a few minutes ago wanted to break things off with Chaerin?

“I shouldn’t have slapped you because.. You were right. Our relationship isn’t going anywhere; I was just too stubborn to admit it. I didn’t even want you to say it because I felt that if I heard out loud it might.. it might be true.. and it is. It feels like all of this is just hurting us, we’re just in two different places right now and I don’t think neither of us could take it anymore..”  

Then an awkward silence trailed Chaerin’s words. She was trying very hard to suppress her tears, this wasn’t what she wanted. It was far from her mind when she was upstairs but as soon as she stepped out of the elevator; the moment she saw Jiyong waiting for her she knew they both wouldn’t be able to handle being away from each other.

Their relationship wouldn’t be able to handle 2 months apart, if it couldn’t even handle a few hours of separation for the past few weeks how could it handle their Japanese promotions?

Jiyong felt like he wasn’t there at all, like this was just some alternate universe. How could he even have comprehend ending their relationship when each word Chaerin just uttered felt, one after the other, more painful and more real; until she ultimately said the words that would feel like the final stab wound that would do him in..

“I think we should break-up Oppa.”

At that moment it seemed as though time had stopped. The staff conversing three tables away from them also seemed to have stopped in mid-sentence. Everything around them seems to have entered some sort of weird time space continuum where motion & sound was non-existent.

Jiyong stared at Chaerin as if not comprehending; he sat there overcome with astonishment looking intently at Chaerin’s lips as they moved with no sound, it looked as though he would be unable to get out of it.

Until.. He read her lips as they let out the words;

“I’m sorry..”

Then he felt it. An intense twinge deep in his chest, a twinge that snapped him back to reality; with a sudden jerk Jiyong stood up stopping Chaerin from continuing.

“What if I told you I don’t wanna break up with you? What are you gonna do about it?” he softly said through gritted teeth with as much control as possible to keep himself from screaming at Chaerin. He had a blank look on his face & his eyes were staring at her unblinkingly.

“I don’t really think that’s an option Oppa. Look at us. We’re already as toxic as it is. Do you really think both of us can take anymore of the fighting & the arguments? Not to mention you’ll have your own comeback soon. I don’t like who we’ve both become.”

“I’m taking you home.” Jiyong said suddenly grabbing Chaerin’s back-pack from the chair next to her turning his back and motioning to leave. He clearly was no longer interested to hear anymore.

“We’re not done here.” Chaerin pronounced immediately standing up as she did.

“No. As you’ve clearly pointed out; we are.”

Jiyong was so furious. He felt as though he was the only one who invested anything in this relationship in which he still feels like he could make work. As he angrily stomped down towards the underground parking lot he could hear her chasing after him trying to grab her bag with words hissed such as “Oppa, stop making a scene” or “Will you stop for just a minute & listen to me?”

Upon reaching his Bentley Continental he pressed the car door’s alarm and threw Chaerin’s bag in the backseat out of frustration slamming the car door to prove a point that he was driving her home and that was final.

As soon as he opened the front door Chaerin was finally able to catch her breath and scream the words she had wanted to while they were still in the lobby;

“I can get someone else to drive me home!” Chaerin shouted through shallow breaths. Jiyong walked too fast for her and because the parking lot was deserted she could finally scream to her heart’s content.

Jiyong stood there frozen in his tracks. He felt so betrayed, like he had been kidding himself with talks of making huge efforts on his part to have their relationship endure. They both probably had been thinking the same thing at some point or another however the thought of going through with ending it was unfathomable to him.

“Oppa, please don’t end us like this. Don’t make this harder than it already is.” Chaerin said softly.

She was already near him near enough for him to smell her perfume. As she stood behind him he wanted so much to turn around, beg on his hands and knees for her to take back everything she said. But he knew he couldn’t, he gripped the car door firmly & bit his lower lip before finally turning around to face her.

“Do you remember that morning I told you I won’t ever let you go?” Chaerin was taken a back; why of all memories would he choose that? The same memory which she had been using to aid in repressing all the recent bad ones that had been popping into her head.

“I meant it.”

“I don’t want to let you go.. But because you’re asking me to,” Jiyong slowly approached Chaerin taking every ounce of restraint not to breaking down right there in front of her. He gently took her in his arms and thought it would be a very long time before he would be able to do this; he gingerly her hair and finally said;

“Then I will; because I love you.” his final words trailing off into a soft loving whisper.

Then as if to seal his promise; he tenderly kissed her on the forehead, a feat with which he carried out with much difficulty. Then he headed towards the front passenger seat opening the door for her as he always did.

As Chaerin watched Jiyong walk away she felt a tear escape her and more had followed like an unwelcomed friend she had been dreading since she had uttered the words “break-up”.  She quickly wiped her tears away pacing quickly to the awaiting Jiyong who was trying to, as well; hold back his tears by holding his head up his breathing thinner than the last.

Before Chaerin was set upon stepping into the car she stopped in front of him held out her hand and fondly ran it through his hair until finally finding her fingers resting on the well hidden mole behind his right ear.

They looked intently at each other. Apologizing with no words that they had let each other be so immersed into this relationship that they had to come to an end because; it was the only way they could save each other. No matter how hard they would’ve tried; it all boiled down to timing and it wasn’t their time to be together yet.

Jiyong took hold of Chaerin’s hand from his jaw but she pulled away as soon as he did and stepped into his car. He closed the door and thought that he had to accept that this was the end, this was farewell;

But he’ll be damned if this was an ending that was forever and a farewell that was for good.

Waiting wasn’t his strong suit but he’ll wait. Understandably a difficult wait, but he will wait. No matter how long.  He’ll wait for that right timing. He’ll wait for the both of them. Because he said it himself; if he was waiting for her it’s not really a waste of his time.

-END-