The relationship hit rock bottom. It felt like both of them could no longer breathe. Each word, each touch, each kiss felt suffocating. Even the most habitual gestures of her hair or of her fondling her fingers on the well hidden mole behind his right ear felt arduous.

Ever since the girls’ comeback promotions she had less and less time to spend with him and with this he grew even more distant towards her.

Cold and detached.

Jiyong didn’t know why he was becoming impatient. He knew that before, he was the one who had kept her waiting when BIGBANG was active oversees, why was it that he didn’t like to be the one at the receiving end of the bat?

They’re in the same profession, he should understand the crazy schedules and the late nights an idol of their caliber faces. Idol, he scoffed at the thought. He never wanted to be one, nor will he ever want to be, he was first and foremost; a musician. She had the same ideals; they both want to be recognized for their music and performances for which they have a great passion and natural knack for.

He sat at the café within their building waiting for her to finish her rehearsals for tomorrow’s broadcast. It was 2AM and he thought he could be making better use of his time by being at his studio writing his music rather than being there. Waiting.

But he promised her, promised to wait and meet up with her that night.

***

For some reason she felt he was growing tired, not of her but of the whole situation. Lately it had been the same deal, she was barely making it on-time for their dates; she was coming home to him later than usual and sometimes not even at all. It wasn’t like her reason wasn’t valid; it was always either practice or recording or a shoot that gets in the way.

Given that she calls him if she wasn’t gonna make it home or meet up with him. As frequently as it happened she felt his tone dwindle and dwindle, it came to a point that his answer was no more than just a simple;

“It’s okay.”

They’ve been having a lot of fights, it didn’t matter whose fault it was but both of them wanted to go at it with each other. Trying to say as many words as possible to hurt the other, letting loose words of reprove and saying things as if out of spite; making the other person feel that they owed each other something.

It was the brink; they were at the brink of freeing each other from the relationship that was turning out to be unhealthy. The only question remaining was would they?

Chaerin longed for the days that they weren’t fighting, the quite moments spent with each other was all that seemed to pop in her head. It had been a long time since they had those days, those days that they still enjoyed being around each other.

One instance that most stood out to her was this one morning where she had just awoken only to find herself in Jiyong’s arms, it seemed that they had fallen asleep that way.

She remembered every detail, every sensation of that one moment.

She remembered the warm feeling of the sun as it was slowly rising outside the window. Her back was against Jiyong’s chest as they both laid down. She looked up at his face to see if he was awake, but he wasn’t yet, the sun was now creeping up and patches of light were now making it through the curtains.

Chaerin held up her free hand and was slowly rotating it, rifting through the light with her fingers trying to soak in the warm sun. She was lying so close to him she could hear his heartbeat; she smiled to herself thinking she has never been this happy, even when he was asleep he made her happy.

Jiyong took hold of her hand and linked it with his and he breathed in her sweet perfume, he was awake now.  She looked up at him smiling softly and he smiled back. Strangely enough she could hear his heartbeat suddenly beat faster; and strangely enough as though on cue her heart skipped a beat because Jiyong finally said the words they have both wanted to say for a long time now.

“Chaerin, I love you. And I will never let you go.”

This was all that Chaerin was thinking about the whole time it was no wonder Jaewook Oppa scolded her for not concentrating and by the time rehearsals was finished she wasn’t any further from this memory than when it first emerged in her head.

It was her meager attempt of being rid of what had happened the previous night. How in an instant their relationship took a turn for the worst already down towards an abyss? That memory of last night was the one that she was prepared to do away with.

***

They have to break up, someone has to be the first to admit it and it was him.

“Nobody could say we didn’t give it our all, because it wouldn’t hurt this much if we didn’t.”

Jiyong told himself.

Both of them had already turned against each other. He had said so many things that he shouldn’t have. When he had said that their relationship was beginning to crumble; it provoked Chaerin to finally cross the line that both of them had been teetering on for weeks now.

However; it was clear that they both regretted what they had said & done immediately afterwards.

He then realized he doesn’t have it in him to let their relationship end. He wouldn’t be able to accept that he would no longer be able to hold her close to him or that he wouldn’t be able to hear that sweet laugh of hers or see her smiling at him with her most adorable eye-smile.

No. He can’t do it. He won’t. They can make it work. He told himself.  

“We can make it work.”

Jiyong whispered as he took hold of his cappuccino, he was about to take another sip when he finally heard the sweet sound of Chaerin’s soft voice;

“Hey..”

She walked in as gracefully as ever, no matter what his intentions were of inviting her to the café or the anxiety brought about by the previous night’s incident; the sight of her still didn’t fail to make him smile. Although given that it was a weak smile, because it had been the first time she had spoken to him since last night.

No eye-contact was made. Clearly the mood between them both was still tense & neither was making any indication of doing otherwise. As it had been for quite some time now; talking about things with each other was a difficult task without it turning into an argument.