“Sorry, friends hurt each other.” Kai apologized.

That was the last thing he said to Baekhyun before he crawled back into his shell secluded from society. Baekhyun had always been a sensitive child. Quiet and considerate was how he’d grown up.

He’d met Kai in high school and they’d been good friends hanging out every now and then. Until one day when Baekhyun heard that Kai no longer wanted to be his friend for whatever reason, Baekhyun couldn’t understand. Other friends had convinced Kai not to let go of their relationship because Baekhyun always backed Kai up when slandering rumors went around school about Kai.

So when they started talking again a few weeks later, Kai said, “Friends hurt each other.”

Baekhyun didn’t know if he believed that to be true. He had thought that friends felt for each other and would restrain from hurting the other even if it was a little bit. Because those few weeks had been the worst of Baekhyun’s life he’d been ultimately hurt by the person he cared most for.

He felt betrayed and left alone.

And what made it worst was Kai didn’t seem very sincere with his apology. But even nowadays when they were together, Baekhyun would slide back into his shell for the sake of protecting himself from pain.

When classes ended Baekhyun would escape to the library. As silly as it sounded books were his best friend. They introduced him to new places, new beings, and new people who were courageous and strong. He met exciting battles and drama that ensued. These worlds were dangerous, yet safe; and they guaranteed him that there was a remedy for every wound he received.

But his reality was so much different from that. A wound inflicted in the heart couldn’t be wrapped up and there was no promised amount of time till when it healed. For what Baekhyun knew, it would last with him till when…he didn’t know.

And when his parents argued, there was no escaping like how his characters could disappear to new worlds and learn greater lessons. Baekhyun was stuck where he was till he was old enough to move out. His parents had been lashing out at each other since he could remember.

There had been plenty of times when he’d locked himself up in his room and stayed in for hours looking through his father’s magazines and his mother’s books he’d taken from the porch. And that was when he’d learn to transport himself from one place to another.

This was why books were his remedy. It helped him disappear from reality for even a few hours and it childishly helped make him feel all the better.

In the large library he’d find a bean bag chair he’d made his and sink into it reading for hours on end. It was his quiet corner hidden behind dozens of rows of tall lingering shelves packed with autobiographies, documents, and journals. This was the second floor and this side of the library away from the computers, tables, help desk, and people was his.

As far as Baekhyun knew, only a few adults came and went in this area after finding what they needed. This part of the library was more reserved for college students and adults who had professional jobs. But one afternoon he thought he saw something glow in front of him and having been distracted his eyes immediately shifted up from the thick chaptered book he was reading.

A girl with short hair was standing in front of him staring at the books on the shelves. Just staring at them for a long time before she would turn away and walk down another aisle. What was she doing? What was she looking for?

Baekhyun watched her for a minute before he resumed to his reading. His eyes ran across the lines in the book before a soft breeze flew by strangely. Confused, Baekhyun felt his eyes waver off the page before he lifted his head up from the book.  Suddenly around him were tall green grasses swaying in the wind melodiously. Bright flowers with petals the color of the sky come into view as the library tables from afar dissolve in the distance.

The warm breeze swept by again calming his nerves mysteriously. Baekhyun wasn’t panicked, but he wanted to know where he was. He’d never seen such strange things before even in his dreams.

He turned to look around lost and upon turning back around saw the same girl from earlier wandering through the shelves. Her pretty lashes fell up and down as she blinked and turned away as if disappointed she couldn’t find what she wanted. Baekhyun’s eyes glued themselves to her as if infatuated and watched her walk away slowly, step by step.

The mysterious garden of flowers around him slowly dissolved along with her disappearing back and within moments the library returned into sight.

When he looked around again he saw no trace of the girl he’d just seen. Getting up from the bean bag chair to look through the aisle of the shelves he couldn’t even see her in the distance as he should have.

Then on another day when his bean bag chair happened to be taken he resorted to a window seat near the comic books section. There were young teens talking in wild whispers and Baekhyun fought to keep them from distracting his concentration.

Growing annoyed at their noisy laughter he picked up his book and bag in search of another quiet spot. A few minutes later he came across a studying area and took the seat by the wall. And this time just was he started getting immensely involved in the events of his book he heard light footsteps. Again, his eyes shifted up from the book and he saw the same girl from the other day wandering around.

He watched for a few minutes on end as she walked around in the same circles repeatedly around the shelves unaware of the flowers that had cropped up by his feet. It wasn’t until a mysterious breeze blew against his face that he turned to look around. A sparkly garden of beautiful tulips and roses swayed underneath something heavily bright above him, but Baekhyun couldn’t find it in himself to look up. His eyes only remained on the girl walking around.

Who was she?

Baekhyun stood up to walk toward her and felt the spell broke immediately when he accidentally bumped into someone walking by. The sound of his chair knocking into the wall woke him up and the sparkly garden of flowers disappeared. He saw, though, the girl between the shelves turn around to look at him as if alarmed. Her eyes opened wider in surprise before she immediately turned around to run.

A frown slipped across his face and he slowly walked toward the shelves only to find no trace of her. She’d disappeared as if she’d never been there at all.

He was strangely appalled, but captivated by how their eyes had locked for a split second.

“Did you have lunch at school?” his mother asked later in the evening. “Or did you skip it for your books?”

“You went to the library again?” his father questioned over dinner.

Baekhyun picked up his chopsticks, “I had lunch mom.”

“That’s good. Mrs. Kim said she didn’t see you with the usual boys.”

Baekhyun lowered his eyes and focused on the food in front of him. He knew the adults worried about his lonesome ways, but he was used to this. He’d rather have this than feel betrayed by his close friends. He didn’t mind if the adults worried about if he was growing up all right because he knew he was all right.

After taking a shower he walked into his room and stared at the small shelf at the foot of his bed. Trudging forward he pulled out a book of how to garden that he’d taken from his mother’s old collection. Baekhyun randomly flipped through the book before giving up after having grown bored and set it aside before glancing out the window.

A lawn of plain green grass was what they had in front of their home. His father had destroyed his mother’s flower garden with his lawn mower and she’d never taken up to trying for it again. Baekhyun thought back to the flowers that had strangely appeared when he’d seen the girl and wondered if he was just seeing things.

He must have read so much that his mind was hallucinating on its own.

“So I heard you’ve been going to the library,” Kai turned to him after laughing off a story told by the other guys during lunch one day.

Baekhyun turned to look at him from where he’d been quietly eating.

“What do you do there? Come on, lets go to a soccer game after school. Skip out on your homework for once, it won’t hurt,” Kai said.

But Baekhyun didn’t know. He wanted to read. He was excited for what would happen next in the book.

“For just a few hours and you can do your homework at home,” Kai urged. “It’ll be fun, man!”

And Baekhyun thought if he tagged along he might be able to feel included with the guys, but at the soccer game even as his friends cheered he felt no excitement. Baekhyun didn’t like loud crowds. He favored small areas where he knew exactly where everything was. He liked the quiet and calm of his surroundings.

And…he kept thinking about the girl he’d been seeing. Baekhyun kept thinking about how their eyes had locked.

“I gotta go,” Baekhyun turned to Kai and without waiting for him to say anything jumped out of his seat and out of the stadium.

When he reached his bean bag chair he plopped down and heaved a sigh of relief before leaning back into the seat. Taking out his book he sat with it on his chest for a while and wasn’t aware that he’d fallen asleep before he awoke to a warm breeze flying over his face.

Pollen was sweeping through the air when he opened his eyes and Baekhyun was almost instantly confused about where he was. He turned his head that was hanging off the seat before immediately sitting up. The book fell down to the floor and Baekhyun bent forward to pick it up before he halted as his fingers brushed the soft grass at his feet.

Was he outside? Or was this still the library? Was he hallucinating? Was this in his head or was this real?

His eyes slid up when he saw a pair of white sneakers walk toward him. They suddenly stopped before him and someone bent down to pick up the book hidden deep beneath the grass before handing it to him.

“I’ve been looking for this book,” a voice said. “Here you go.”

And Baekhyun felt his heart skip an anonymous beat when his eyes landed on hers.

This was her.

Her feminine eyes smiled back at him and Baekhyun reached his hand forward for the book. The garden of flowers around him zoomed away from sight and he found himself staring at nothing, but the shelves looming in front of him.

Ever since that day he’d been left confused about the girl he’d repeatedly seen; if she was just a piece of his imagination or if she’d been real at all. And he could never forget how she’d looked at him.

“Lets end class here. Don’t forget about your homework over break! Have a safe one!” his econ professor yelled when class ended and the students around him were eagerly packing their belongings into their backpacks.

One long week of spring break was starting tomorrow and Kai and the rest of the guys had planned on an outing in the countryside at a private resort his uncle owned. They would go fishing and swimming then tell ghost stories around a campfire at night, Kai had said. Of course, Baekhyun had been urged along and with no choice had to join them.

Baekhyun had learned that Kai belonged to the wilder part of the crowd whereas his world belonged to the quieter, calmer part of the distinct universe. How ever they had even mixed together, Baekhyun never understood. And he still had a long way to go before understanding why Kai had said, “Friends hurt each other.”

Baekhyun carefully placed his notebook into his backpack being careful not to crush the book the girl had handed him that day. If she had been real and if he ever met her again he’d let her have the book.       

“I’ve been looking for this book.”

And that was the sole reason why he carried it everywhere with him.

Was that why he’d seen her wandering around? Because he had something she wanted?

There was a clear lakeside just beside the resort with four bedrooms. The sun reflected off it prettily as they drove down the road toward the part of the resort Kai’s uncle was letting them have for the weekend. It contained a cabin and boat for their use.

The lower half of the cabin was constructed out of stones while the upper level of lumber. The windows seemed to glaze underneath the heat of the sun. Part of the cabin had been built looking as if it edged out of the normal structure and Baekhyun wondered how it looked like inside.

“There’s four other people coming, you’re going to be sleeping in the attic with the other guy, ok?” Kai told when he stepped out of the car.

Baekhyun cast him a quiet glance before closing the door and slipped his backpack over his shoulder. As a car came down the road Baekhyun turned to look at the stone stairs that led to the door.

He just wanted to relax now and hoped the other guys would take Kai with them never minding him.

As the other car entered the lot Baekhyun felt his attention glue itself to it. He watched three of Kai’s friends step out of the car and spotted another one sitting inside.

“Hey come on out, you’re already here; might as well make the best out of it,” Sungjae said before pulling the one inside the car out.

And when he did pull that person out Baekhyun felt his breath catch itself in his throat. It wasn’t another one of the guys, but a girl…and it was someone who looked almost familiar.

She almost fell to the side from Sungjae’s forceful pull and her shoulder length hair slid past her face blocking her identity from view, but Baekhyun’s instincts were telling him he knew her.

“Hey guys!” Kai called out.

The other guys excitedly greeted him in return.

“Who’s that?” Kai questioned nodding his head toward the girl.

“A friend,” Sungjae said before forcing her to swivel toward them. “Kim Namjoo.”

Baekhyun felt his surroundings disappear from around him and he only saw her as his heart palpitated.

Kai walked foward and confidently greeted, “Hi. I’m Kai.”   

She looked up at him timidly before drawing her shoulders in and nodded her head. Baekhyun watched Kai smiled broadly before putting his arm around her in an effort to make her more comfortable.

“We’ll have lots of fun here, don’t worry!” Kai said. “Come on lets bring our stuff in before heading out. Where’s your bag? I’ll help you carry it.”

Baekhyun watched Kai reach for her bag from the trunk of the car before he walked into the cabin along with the other guys. She followed them quietly and he felt his eyes continuously trail after her.

She was her.

She was the girl he’d seen in the library.

This felt too unbelievable.

When Baekhyun followed them inside he found them all standing in the lounge with their bags on the floor.

“Well Baekhyun said he’ll take the attic,” he heard Kai say.

“Then what about us?” Taemin questioned.

“Namjoo can stay in one of the rooms down here. I can stay up in the attic with Baekhyun,” Sungjae offered.

“But didn’t you really want one of the rooms here?” asked In Jae.

“I...I can stay in the attic,” Namjoo quietly spoke up and Baekhyun immediately felt all the other guys turn to look at him.

Something glinted in Kai’s eyes and he said, “All right. My uncle has a couch bed up there too. Baekhyun can sleep on that while Namjoo takes the bed.”

Baekhyun felt her eyes land on him for the first time, but she had no recognition of him in them. Then he turned to look at Kai who seemed to be eyeing him.

“Baekhyun, we’re heading out to fish, you want to come along or stay?” Kai asked following him upstairs with Namjoo’s bag.

For the first time Baekhyun had been given an option and he wondered why. Baekhyun turned around from the couch where he was stashing his bag to look at Kai. His eyes drifted to the floor immediately and he wondered if Kai wanted to say something he wasn’t saying.

“So you coming or not?”

Baekhyun averted his eye to Kai and said, “Ok.”

A few minutes later Baekhyun found himself sitting on the grass watching the others fish by the lake where a wide area of grassland ran on for miles. The blue water sparkled beautifully underneath the sky and he listened to the others cast out their lure and shout when a fish caught the line.

His eyes quietly skimmed to the side where Kai had taken charge of teaching Namjoo how to fish. Their hands slightly brushed and Baekhyun caught Kai stealing glimpses of Namjoo before returning to the task at hand.

It didn’t take much for Baekhyun to realize that his friend probably had a liking toward Namjoo, but there was only one thing he wanted to know. Was Namjoo the girl he’d seen a few years back?

And when he looked away he was unaware of Namjoo who’d turned around to look at him.

They started grilling until night fell and the guys started passing around drinks.

When Kai asked if Namjoo wanted one Sungjae jumped in and said, “She can’t have any. Just give her water.”

He watched Kai run for a bottle of water before running back to offer it to her. After eating Baekhyun took the grilling racks inside to scrub upon the other guys’ requests while they set up the campfire outside. They were still intent on telling ghost stories and Baekhyun knew he wasn’t staying outside for that. He wasn’t interested in spooking himself.

“Namjoo, do you want to stay outside with us?” Sungjae asked.

“No, I feel tired,” Namjoo replied before slowly heading in.

Baekhyun was just cleaning up the water spills around the sink when he heard the door open and turned around to see Namjoo walking in. They glanced at each other and Baekhyun found himself seeing those surprised eyes of hers he’d seen a while back. Namjoo slowly averted her eyes before she started toward the stairs and Baekhyun silently watched her go.

Did she not recognize him at all? Or had he…really been seeing stuff back then?

He dried his hands before following her up wondering why she’d chosen to room the attic with him instead of one of the comfortable rooms downstairs.

The long stairs lead to an open attic with limited space due to the triangular roof that seemed to be dipping in on them. The queen sized bed was set closer to the windows with a view of the woods and lake outside while the couch was placed near the corner of the attic closer to the stairs. All in all there was nothing in the room, but an empty space of a wooden floor nailed together too uncomfortable to even lie on.

Baekhyun paused at the top of the stairs when he saw Namjoo staring down at the bed as if absorbing her thoughts.

Taking a step forward he asked, “What’s wrong?”

Without turning to him she quietly replied, “There are spiders on the bed.”

Namjoo turned away from the bed in rejection and walked toward the wall where she sat. Baekhyun glanced at the bed before turning to look at the couch.

“You can take the roll out bed, I’ll sleep on the floor,” he offered.

Namjoo shook her head. Left again in silence Baekhyun didn’t know what to say anymore. Taking his backpack off the couch he pulled out the bed tucked into it before laying down on it still pondering over why she’d chosen the attic over the comfy room downstairs. She could have had it so much better down there.

As he lie there for a long time he found that he couldn’t sleep. So many thoughts were racing through his head and he couldn’t stop thinking about the girl who’d made that garden of flower sprout every time he saw her. It had been so mysterious and she had come only to vanish into thin air. Baekhyun wanted to believe that he hadn’t been imagining it. Even though he liked his sense of seclusion from the world, he knew reality well enough.

Curious he sat up from where he was lying to see Namjoo hugging herself.

She looked cold.

Feeling sorry for her he got up and grabbed his blanket before draping it around her. Namjoo turned to look at him as if alarmed and he made sure to leave a gap between them before sitting.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

She didn’t reply but inched her chin closer to her chest.

“You should have taken one of the rooms downstairs,” Baekhyun said.

Namjoo inched her shoulders up before quietly saying, “I don’t trust the guys downstairs.”

That made Baekhyun turned to look at her.

“And what makes you think you can trust me?”

Namjoo blinked her eyes before saying, “You feel different.”

And he felt a small smile crawl onto his lips.

“Did you grow up around Seoul?” Baekhyun asked to which Namjoo nodded. His heart raced a bit before he asked, “Then…do you go to the library near the station a lot? I went there a lot when I was in high school.”

“I like reading,” Namjoo turned shy, “but I’ve never been to the library.”

Baekhyun felt the racing of his heart die down. Then what…did this mean?

“I’ve only seen it from the outside,” Namjoo admitted before her eyes lowered to the ground, “I was in a coma a few years back.”

He felt his lips fall apart.

A coma…

“I’m sorry,” he immediately apologized uncertain whether bringing the topic up would cause her any pain.

Namjoo shook her head, “It happened when I was riding my bike home one day and I got hit by a truck.” And Namjoo finally turned to look at him, “I thought I always saw the library when I was sleeping.”

Baekhyun felt even more disbelief fill him. Namjoo…had dreamt of the library when she’d been in her coma…and he’d been in the library while she was bed ridden. Did this even make sense anymore?

Namjoo’s head tilted forward a bit harshly before she opened her eyes.

Waking back up she said, “Sorry, what were we talking about?”

Baekhyun stared at her a little infatuated before he quickly got up to retrieve the pillow from the bed before laying it on the floor by her. Namjoo watched him do so before turning to look at him.

“It’s ok,” he said. “You’re tired.”

“I often get tired,” Namjoo told, “sorry.”

He shook his head unable to understand why she was even apologizing, “It’s ok. Just lay down.”

Namjoo glanced at him once more before obliging and he watched her curl up under the blanket.

After a moment Namjoo said, “You can sleep with me too.”

“What?” he immediately asked shocked by her suggestion.

Namjoo turned to look at him with her face slightly red, “Not that way!”

Baekhyun’s eyelids fluttered before he laughed embarrassed and squeezed in between the wall behind her.

“Here,” Namjoo lifted part of the blanket for him.

He glanced at her and hesitated before climbing underneath it. His nose dug itself into her hair before he quickly to his back and soon realized that it sort of looked like they were sharing a bed. Uncomfortable he shifted onto his side so his back would face her.

“Can I…have some of the blanket back?” Namjoo asked.

“Oh…yea…” he replied embarrassed before tugging some from his side over to her.

They lay like that for a while until he fell asleep.

Baekhyun awoke to loud cheering that morning, “Whoo! Guys! Come up here!”

The rushing of footsteps forced him to open his eyes. A ray of sunlight was melting into the room and Baekhyun felt that his arm was wrapped around something. His fingers twitched and they felt something solid. His brain spiraled in confusion.

It wasn’t until he woke up that he realized he was hugging Namjoo. When Namjoo finally woke their eyes locked and he quickly sat up with Namjoo following. Most of the guys were having a thrill from the sight, but Sungjae looked shocked. Worst of all was Kai. He didn’t seem to be having any joy from the sight and was first to turn around to walk away.

The atmosphere seemed even more horrid that day. Kai barely talked to him and kept all his attention on Namjoo and the other guys. That night Kai talked Sungjae into forcing Namjoo to take one of the room downstairs while he roomed with another friend. Baekhyun was left in the desolate darkness in the attic alone.

On the drive back home Kai barely talked except for when he said, “She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

Baekhyun glanced at Kai from the corner of his eye. What was he supposed to say? Why was Kai even bothering to ask him?

Life resumed when he returned home. Baekhyun didn’t see Namjoo for the next several days and he never expected to see her again. He was a little disappointed, but certain that someone like her would never stick around someone like him. At least that was what he thought until one day when he walked out of campus to find Namjoo timidly standing around awkwardly. Pausing in his steps he watched her search around the crowds clutching onto that bag of hers before she turned to look at him. With a smile she shyly waved and Baekhyun had to look around him in case she was waving at anyone other than him.

Concluding that she wasn’t looking at anyone else, but him, he had no choice but to greet her.

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun asked when he walked up to her.

Namjoo glanced up into his face before smiling. He caught the dimple that grew onto her face and felt his heart flutter.

“I asked Sungjae about where you went to school,” Namjoo said, “and I just wanted to come see.”

Baekhyun stared at her before turning to look at the buildings of different the departments behind him. Then recalling her story about her unfortunate incident he turned back to look at her.

“What about you?”

“I’ve been home schooled for a while, so I’m a bit behind,” Namjoo replied a little embarrassed.

His eyes landed on her and he thought about how much she must have desired to be in a place filled with students.  

“Do you want to look around?” Baekhyun asked before Namjoo eagerly nodded.

He walked her around campus talking about the different departments and the different classes offered. Namjoo listened attentively immensely interested in all his stories nodding every now and then.

“What about you?” Namjoo asked. “What are you doing?”

“I’m in the department of literature,” Baekhyun spoke. “I want to write.”

Namjoo smiled again before Baekhyun quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him just as a cycler biked by.

“Careful,” he cautioned before quickly letting go of her.  

He turned to watch the cycler go by before turning to see her looking up at him.

“What?” he wondered.

Namjoo smiled and looked away, “Nothing.”

“I’m about to head off to work in half an hour. Where do you live? I can drop you off at home before I go in for work,” Baekhyun told.

“I’m just going to the station.” Namjoo replied.

“I’ll walk you there then.”

Namjoo often visited him on school days during the week and they’d walk around. It suddenly felt normal having her around as if she had never been a stranger to begin with. Sometimes he would look for the university pamphlets and give them to her after hearing her talk about how much she wanted to enter college. And on the weekend he met up with her at the park where they would sit and watch young kids fish.

Baekhyun learned that Namjoo was just like him confining herself into a life of seclusion, but she wasn’t exactly like him. As much as she loved reading, she also loved being outside; it was just that the accident had forced her to keep away from the prying eyes of society. She had been hurt after being laughed at for sitting in a wheelchair after being discharged from the hospital. And so instead of attending high school and resuming where she’d left off a few years earlier, she’d asked to be home schooled.

Baekhyun thought he was making another friend until Kai called him out one day.

“Hey, I heard Namjoo comes to see you a lot,” Kai said seeming interested.

“Oh…yea…”

“You mind if hang out with you two?”

And often times after class ended Kai would come find him. For days on end it was what it had never been before. Kai usually never hung out with him if the other guys weren’t around as well. Baekhyun knew he was just the vessel that would lead Kai to Namjoo, because when they were together Kai only paid attention to her.

“Baekhyun,” Namjoo said one day, “want to go to the library with me?”

Kai ended up joining along on their trek there. While they looked around Namjoo ran from one aisle to the next leaving Kai who was lagging behind. Baekhyun knew he had no particular interest in books and wondered why he even come along.

But being the friend he was he turned around, “You ok?”

“Yea, I’m fine, I’ll just wait here for you two,” Kai said, but Baekhyun knew better. Kai wanted out of the library.

With nothing more to do Baekhyun turned around to follow Namjoo, “Something came up at work. I’m going to have to go.”

Namjoo turned away from the shelf she was looking at and her bangs brushed against her face as she looked at him disappointed.

Baekhyun smiled and pointed his thumb back, “Kai’s still going to be here. I’ll see you later.”

When Baekhyun left, Namjoo glanced down the aisle where Kai was visible and turned to look at the books written about the sea in front of her. She thought for a long time before walking toward Kai.

“Are you done?” he questioned.

Namjoo nodded, “I’m going to go home.”

“I’ll walk you.”

They were quiet along their way and Namjoo tried to fix everything into her head before she turned to Kai.

“Do you know if Baekhyun has a girlfriend?” she asked.

“Girlfriend?” Kai repeated. “I don’t think he’s ever had one. He likes books too much.”

Namjoo pressed her lips together and turned to look at Kai, “Do you think he would like me?”

“Huh?” Kai froze in his steps.

Namjoo looked away embarrassed and played with her fingers. “I like him.”

Kai stared at Namjoo with a flash of disappointment and didn’t know what to say anymore.

That day Baekhyun spent that night sleepless. He thought about how much Kai probably liked Namjoo and how he’d never be able to find anyone like him again if Kai took her. But the very next day while he was making his way to class for a scheduled quiz he received a call from an unknown number. Stopping before the building he answered.

“It’s me,” he recognized Namjoo’s voice. “I’m in the hospital.”

Suddenly the building in front of him loomed overhead seeming taller than it actually was. The quiz…or Namjoo…

It didn’t take him long to find out which was more important. Hailing a cab he headed straight for the hospital and he found Namjoo sitting alone in a hospital room in a gown. She was staring out the window beside her before turning around at his footsteps. Baekhyun was breathless and panting heavily when his eyes landed on her.

Namjoo shot him a smile before he walked forward.

“Are you ok?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m getting a kidney transplant,” Namjoo told him. “I won’t die from it, do you think?”

Baekhyun blinked and stared at her.

“I don’t think that can happen,” he told. “Why…though…”

Namjoo lowered her head before looking up at him, “My body’s not well.”

Baekhyun continued staring at her at a loss. “When’s your surgery?”

“In a few hours,” she said, “can you stay with me until then?”

He nodded his head and took the seat beside her. “Does it hurt?”

“No.”

“Are you here alone?”

“My mom went back home. My dad will be here before my surgery,” Namjoo explained. “I told them about you.”

Baekhyun raised his eyebrow shocked.

Namjoo smiled embarrassed and her face turned slightly pink before confessing, “Baekhyun…I like you.”

He stared at her for a long time unsure whether he felt embarrassed or surprised. Namjoo bit onto her lower lip and glanced at him before lowering her eyes.

“Sorry,” she apologized, “that was probably embarrassing for you.”

Baekhyun immediately shook his head afraid she might take his dumbfoundedness as a sign of rejection. How could he not not like her? He foolishly felt his heart race and tensed up before darting his eyes toward the ground.

“No…I…I like you too…”

Namjoo looked at him and it took him a second to avert his eyes back to her before they both blushed and laughed. For a while they didn’t trade words because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do after confessing. Baekhyun had never told a girl he liked her before and all this was so new. Was he supposed to hold her hand, try to flirt with her, or something?

“Should we…watch TV?” Namjoo asked hesitantly before he quickly nodded.

Their eyes nervously glued themselves to the TV screen before Namjoo’s father appeared at the door and Baekhyun felt himself sink into more embarrassment. Immediately getting up he bowed and greeted Namjoo’s dad who was still in his business attire. He felt cold sweat trickle down the back of his neck as Namjoo’s dad glanced at him and smiled.

As promised he stayed until Namjoo went in for surgery and waited till she came back out of the ER. Namjoo wouldn’t wake up till the anesthesia wore off and by that time it would be dark already, so Baekhyun was sent home by her dad.

The next day before he set out to the hospital after class he found Kai waiting for him outside.

“Hey,” Kai greeted a little sullenly.

“Hey.”

“I heard Namjoo’s in the hospital.”

“Oh…yea.”

“Are you going to see her?”

Baekhyun slowly nodded, “You should come along too.”

Kai shot him a small smile before saying, “Better not.”

Baekhyun stared back at Kai and thought for a long time after being afraid that he should say what he wanted. Even if it hurt his friend, it was better for the truth to come out. Friends should be honest with each other after all.

“Namjoo’s pretty,” Baekhyun said, “you asked me once about that. And I think she’s very pretty. I…actually like her.”

Kai stared back at him silently before saying, “I know. Namjoo…told me the same thing.”

Baekhyun looked at Kai and asked, “We’re still…friends, right?”

“Sure, why not?”

Friends…hurt each other…

Baekhyun didn’t know if he believed it. Hadn’t he and Kai gotten to a level of understanding each other? Or was it only him who believed it? Perhaps Baekhyun was being too naïve. Him liking Namjoo and Namjoo choosing him must have hurt Kai. Maybe that part of their relationship would be unforgettable. So Baekhyun guessed he’d hurt Kai, but they were still friends. What lesson was there to learn from it? People always hurt each other eventually whether they’re friends or not.

Baekhyun decided he wanted to remain neutral with the subject. Unless a friend intended to hurt the other intentionally, friendship didn’t exist. And he wanted to believe Kai never intended to hurt him as he’d never intended to hurt Kai.  

When he reached the hospital Namjoo was lying in bed with her mother at her bedside, but her mother decided to leave them alone upon seeing him. Whatever Namjoo had told her parents about him, he decided he didn’t want to know.

“You feeling better?” he asked.

Namjoo nodded with a smile. Baekhyun took his backpack off and slid it onto his lap before pulling out the book he always carried with him.

“You know, I went to the library a lot when I was in high school,” Baekhyun told, “and when I read this book I always saw this girl walking around.”

He held the book out for Namjoo to see and watched her eyes run over it before smiling.

“I read that book once,” she said. “I always wanted to read it again.”

“Oh yea?” he asked.

“The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett,” Namjoo read, “about a little mean unhealthy looking girl who changes after meeting a boy. There’s always something about that book I like, but I couldn’t find it again.”

“You can have it,” Baekhyun said.

Her eyes rose up to meet his and he felt their hands touch when she reached for the book. The warmth of her hand resonated through his as she clamped her hand over his for a few seconds and he smiled at her.

Baekhyun spent the next few days visiting the hospital reading to Namjoo children’s books and short chaptered stories. Sometimes he’d stay with her at night reading or chatting till she got tired.

“Do you think I’ll be able to go out to school some day?” Namjoo asked.

“Of course,” he encouraged, “and by then I’ll have a house waiting. That is if we get married.”

They laughed before he leaned forward to kiss her never minding the book falling off his lap. The touch of her lips and warmth of her skin against his sent mindless dreams spiraling through his mind.

When Namjoo left the hospital they finally went on their first date which was spent at the library where they sat together on his bean bag couch leaning against the other while reading. And when he thought they were alone they’d hold hands and kiss. And when they kissed he thought he would feel that soft breeze flowing by before flowers popped out by his feet. Suddenly it would feel like they were in their own place, secluded from the rest of the world.

Baekhyun thought then that there couldn’t be anything sweeter than this.  

Two years after Namjoo finally enrolled in college they got married and just near her graduation date got pregnant. They spent time moving around their house building their own little library hoping that their kids would be able to grow up appreciating the work of words just as they and maybe hopefully lead them somewhere in life where they wouldn’t be alone.  

***This was so-so. Feels kinda empty for me or maybe it's just me