Eight
Suspicious

Kyuhyun

Kyuhyun forgets all about the scratches on Sungmin’s cheeks merely a few weeks after he first sees them, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t allow his eyes to drift to them until they begin to scab over and heal (all the while thinking to himself that when they do finally heal and scar, they’ll look a bit like cat scratches, although until then he is entirely unconvinced).  The final scars that make their presence known on Sungmin’s face are small, barely there, just a tad darker than the rest of the skin and only really identifiable in good lighting.  Thankfully, at least, Kyuhyun is sure, for the blond, they rarely go outside to examine people anymore because the weather has gotten considerably colder in the time that has passed since the latter has gotten the markings on his face.

Today isn’t particularly an exception.  Kyuhyun steps into their usual meeting room with a hand lazily clutching the strap of his school bag, currently slung over his shoulder as lazily as his grip.  Very much like just about every other day, Sungmin is sitting on the desk, legs swinging back and forth absentmindedly, the blond’s eyes watching his own feet although unfocused.  Kyuhyun, very much like just about every other day, allows himself to silently pause and fully take in the sight of Sungmin – of the light blond strands falling across his forehead, of those dark eyes that always seem to see all and yet, at this very moment, see nothing, those M-shaped lips that constantly mold to their words in a way so graceful and precise it often leaves Kyuhyun something not too short of breathless, even if for just a moment – and then ponder briefly on what exactly it is Sungmin always seems so caught up in his own thoughts with.  Then, with a small tch to himself, he steps further into the room and into a much clearer portion of Sungmin’s peripheral vision, and the smaller boy turns his head to look up at Kyuhyun and gives him a smile so bright Kyuhyun swears the fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling seem to dim a little.

“Hey Kyu,” the blond greets cheerfully, practically flinging himself off the teacher’s desk to make his way over to the brunette.  Kyuhyun doesn’t move to meet him halfway, although he is very much aware of the fact that Sungmin has a rather thick sweater on but does not have a bag on his back – meaning that they’re staying inside today.  He’s also very much aware of the slight redness of the boy’s nose – hardly noticeable from a distance but definitely there and visible at this range.  His only response to Sungmin’s greeting is a raised eyebrow to acknowledge the blond’s presence.  Sungmin, as per usual, doesn’t seem to mind.  Instead, he grabs Kyuhyun’s hand and pulls him toward the desks they’d claimed as their own during their first week of eating lunch together.

Kyuhyun allows himself to be pulled without protest; he knows from experience now that protesting would only make Sungmin throw a pout his way that would instantly make him obey the blond anyway (and he swears there’s something inhumanly powerful about that pout, because it’s actually quite debilitating in itself).  He takes his usual seat and watches, caught somewhere between boredom and mild fascination, as Sungmin grabs the desk next to his and moves it around so that it’s perpendicular to his own.  He finds it odd, really, how every little thing Sungmin does seems to command his attention, even if it’s something as simple as shifting a couple of desks around.

It is only when Sungmin is finally placing the food on the makeshift table that Kyuhyun is able to snap out of his slight reverie and realize that the weather actually isn’t bad today – it’s not raining, or snowing, and it’s actually one of the warmer days of the season, considering December started a few days ago.  And then the silent questioning begins; why is Sungmin keeping him locked up in the classroom when, if anything, he wouldn’t mind going outside today of all days?  The leaves on the trees are gone, yes, but no one pays them much attention anymore anyway.  They’ve become a part of the buzzing background of their classmates lives during their lunch hour, come to blend in with the bench and trees and gray skies.  They can get away with doing practically whatever they’d like on that bench watching their classmates, and it makes Kyuhyun seriously wonder why they’re sitting down at this makeshift table of desks eating their meal indoors.

He focuses his gaze on Sungmin, then, because Sungmin is heavily perceptive when it comes to people watching him and would no doubt notice Kyuhyun’s eyes on him in no time.  And Kyuhyun is sure Sungmin notices within a couple of seconds but the blond does nothing to humor him; he just keeps setting up the plates and taking his sweet time with placing food in just the right proportions, in his own relaxed, slightly infuriatingly calm way pointedly ignoring Kyuhyun’s gaze, and Kyuhyun finds himself growing impatient.  Still, he does nothing; he knows better than to rush Sungmin.  Sungmin is an art form in himself; he takes time and patience and does things with elegance and routine.  He is calm and collected and smiling regardless of what’s going on.  And at times it annoys Kyuhyun, like now, but most times it enraptures him because he always wonders how Sungmin does it; walks around as if he’s the happiest person alive and has all the time in the world.

Kyuhyun entertains the thought that maybe Sungmin is the happiest person alive, and then half a second later he welcomes the realization that he wouldn’t actually know.  He’s known Sungmin for a little more than two months now and he realizes he knows next to nothing about him.  He sees Sungmin once a day, five days a week, for an hour each time.  And he’s somehow managed to convince himself that he’s perceptive enough to know what Sungmin is like based off of that hour alone for the past couple of months but he feels stupid now that he thinks about it.  Insanely stupid because Sungmin could simply be putting up an act for him; maybe Sungmin isn’t always this calm and relaxed and smiley.  Maybe Sungmin is like him at other times during the day; silent, brooding, stoic.  Scanning the blond from top to bottom, as Sungmin finally slides his finished plate over to him, Kyuhyun can’t help but to think that the conjured image doesn’t fit, but then again, what could he really know?

He takes a bite from his food, although he doesn’t tear his eyes away from Sungmin’s face, and Sungmin probably knows that Kyuhyun is still watching him but if he really does know he doesn’t show it.  Instead, he digs into his own food, silent, slightly smiling, shoulders relaxed in a way that would imply ignorance, although Kyuhyun is sure he knows better.  (Or does he?  For all he knows Sungmin could be a serial killer and these next few minutes could be his last.  In any case, he does not believe dying at Sungmin’s hands is too much of a worry.)

Kyuhyun eats his food almost in a daze, barely registering taste and texture, hardly acknowledging the fact that Sungmin is actually a rather good cook, focusing a great portion of his attention and energy into willing the blond to respond.  It takes a solid almost fifteen minutes of staring into Sungmin’s soul the best that he can, but Sungmin finally does take the time to respond – and he takes his time with it too.  He slowly, purposefully, places his chopsticks on a napkin beside his own plate of food, takes another napkin and dabs at the corners of his mouth, swipes hair out from his eyes, before he finally, finally looks up and meets Kyuhyun’s own dark, unrelenting gaze.

“Is there something you want to ask?  You’ve seemed pretty preoccupied with looking at me for a little while now.”  Although the words sound biting and sarcastic, he says them softly, reassuringly, as if making a suggestion to a small child, and it takes all of the bite and sting out of it.  Kyuhyun wonders if he’ll ever be able to do that; to say words that, in theory, would sound awfully rude and confronting but with a tone so light and caring that it comes across as kind and genuine anyway.  He thinks of the kind of person he is; cold, stoic, reserved, a lot of the times socially awkward because of it, and figures that no.  He will never be able to reach that level of skill.

He wonders what to say, how to voice his thoughts.  How can he properly explain to Sungmin that he’s known the blond for little more than two months and knows virtually nothing about him?  They spend so much time studying other people and learning about their background stories that there is little time to talk about their own stories.  Kyuhyun is sure Sungmin could figure his out in a heartbeat, but it would take him an eternity of sitting with Sungmin, trying to decipher whether or not the Sungmin in front of him is the real Sungmin rather than an act that the blond puts up on a daily basis, to even begin to learn about Sungmin.  It’s impossible for him.  And yet he wants to find some way to start.

He opens his mouth without knowing what to say, and then grimaces when what comes out is “Who are you?”  Yet his grimace quickly turns into a look of surprise because, for once, Sungmin’s eyes widen as if the blond has been caught off guard.  Then Kyuhyun realizes that it must be because Sungmin thinks he’s forgotten Sungmin’s name, and so he hurriedly amends for it by saying, “I mean, I know your name is Lee Sungmin and you’re blond and study people but that’s just about all I know about you.”  He freezes, pressing his lips together into a thin line, frowning as Sungmin gives him a look he doesn’t remember having seen on the blond’s face before; a look that is still kind and calm but has something rushed and unsure flickering through his brown eyes: worry.

Something clicks in Kyuhyun’s mind.  He isn’t sure what, but it’s there.  The Sungmin in front of him, he finds, is capable of emotions besides happy and calm and soothing.  The Sungmin in front of him is outwardly smiling, reassuring Kyuhyun with his expression that all is well; yet deep inside a war is being waged, is raging, thundering, and Kyuhyun suddenly craves to understand what it is and why.  What is Sungmin worried about?

“What are you worrying for,” he says, or so he tries to say but Sungmin cuts him off the moment he opens his mouth to begin with, “It takes time to get to know a person, Kyu.  You’ll get to know me soon.  Just know that I’m your hyung.”  And that makes Kyuhyun pause in his spot again, because how could someone who manages to look so young possibly be his hyung?  Kyuhyun would never, in a million years, have thought that Sungmin is older than him.  As a matter of fact, he still doesn’t quite believe it, and so he raises a skeptical eyebrow and asks, “Really now?  You’re older than me?”  His voice is a bit cutting, far too sarcastic, and yet it seems to have no effect on Sungmin, who looks up from his food at him and gives him a small, slightly amused smile.

“You’re the kid in the fourth year math class that’s two years younger than everyone else, which means you’re a second year, which means you’re sixteen.  I’m a fourth year, which means I’m eighteen, which means I have you by two years.”  Then he gives Kyuhyun a grin that’s teasing and cheeky and has something bubbling inside of him; something kind of like anger, but not quite.  It’s foreign in name but familiar somehow – maybe because he only ever feels it when Sungmin is around, but he feels it whenever Sungmin is around and smiles directly at him.  The thought makes him frown, and it seems as though Sungmin takes it as Kyuhyun being a sore loser because the blond laughs and lightly pats his arm.  “It’s okay, Kyu.  You don’t have to call me hyung if you don’t really want to.”

Kyuhyun shakes his head, more so at himself than to respond to Sungmin’s words.  He won’t call Sungmin ‘hyung’ anyway, but the fact that he couldn’t even figure out that Sungmin is two years older than him makes him realize that figuring Sungmin out would take an eternity; it would take an eternity with a few hundred thousand centuries.  He couldn’t even figure out Sungmin’s age, let alone how the boy really is when he isn’t around Kyuhyun.  Still, that doesn’t stop his curiosity.  He wishes to know more about Sungmin – wishes to learn of his background and understand why the boy is the way he is.  It startles him when he realizes it, but Sungmin’s teachings have sparked his curiosity on the very person who has been teaching him how to become curious about people’s backgrounds before jumping to conclusions about their actions.

He won’t tell Sungmin that, though.  He’ll just keep the small tidbit to himself in the hopes that Sungmin won’t catch on to what will undoubtedly be a long road of sneaking studies of and glances at the blond.  So he chooses not to respond to Sungmin’s words, instead turning his attention down to his food.  Sungmin doesn’t seem intent on dragging on his teasing anyway, and so they eat their lunch in silence this time.

It is only after the food has been eaten and the mess cleaned up, trash thrown out, and empty containers slipped back into Sungmin’s bag that the blond breaks the silence again.  Kyuhyun feels Sungmin meet his gaze before the latter says, “Meet me after school at the front gate, okay?”  And Sungmin’s gaze is unwavering, unarguable; Kyuhyun is tempted to say no, just to see how he would react.  And so he opens his mouth to shape the word, but what comes out instead is “Fine.”  And he’s caught himself off guard again, but the look on Sungmin’s face – the easy smile, the warm eyes – tells him that Sungmin has been expecting him to say that.

Something about it pisses him off royally; Sungmin is playing with him.  He has to be.  Otherwise, how would he have known that Kyuhyun was going to say yes before Kyuhyun even knew?  The look on his face now, as Kyuhyun frowns over at him, proves him correct.  Sungmin’s smile is a mix of amused and gentle, gently amused, and amusedly gentle, and it seems to spark something in Kyuhyun’s core.  “You’re wondering how I knew you were going to say that, aren’t you?”  And even though Kyuhyun’s knows from the last two months or so that he’s known Sungmin that the other is very perceptive, and even though he shouldn’t be caught off guard because of the fact, he still finds Sungmin’s comment unexpected.  He opens his mouth to ask how the blond knows but Sungmin’s smile brightens before he can say anything, effectively cutting him off before he can even begin.

“I knew you were going to agree because it’s obvious on your face lately how interested you are in studying people.  When you walked into the room and realized we weren’t going outside, even though it’s essentially an ideal December day to do so, I could feel your face drop for you.  Admit it, Kyu, you were disappointed.”  His words would sound smug, if not for the goddamn gentle smile gracing those M-shaped lips of his.  Kyuhyun feels the sting of being discovered, but he does not respond, and it seems as though Sungmin has been awaiting that silence all along, for his smile broadens the slightest before he continues, as calm and as gentle as ever.  “I already had a feeling that it was finally retaining your interest, but I purposefully kept us inside to make sure.  You haven’t touched your game once.”

Kyuhyun can’t help the way the attentive frown of his expression turns into a scowl, and he fumbles around mentally for an excuse as to why he hasn’t touched his game, his life, essentially, when he finally manages to blurt out, “I left my game at home today.”  And Sungmin smiles at him and shakes his head gently, calmly – and Kyuhyun feels something like anger rebuilding in his core, the spark within him turning into something like a fire, small, controlled, but always threatening to spill over and spread.  “Kyu, you and I both know that your game is in your bag.”  The blond pauses, seems to mull something over, as if he wishes to add something, then shrugs and does indeed add, “Besides, leaving your game at home would still prove to me that you’re interested in going out to study people because that would just mean you’d be expecting to go outside.”

The fire flickers in Kyuhyun’s core, although for a brief moment he allows himself a sensation of triumph, because there are reasons that he has been allowed into a class two years his senior.  Almost proudly, Kyuhyun points out, “That’s just because it’s a part of daily routine to go outside.  It just means I know you’ll be keeping me occupied so I won’t have the time to play the game anyway.”  Then he raises his eyebrows at Sungmin in a way even he can only describe as holier-than-thou, although it doesn’t deter the blond, who simply shakes his head with that goddamn smile still solidly placed as the centerpiece of his gentle expression and responds without a moment of hesitation.

“Alright, but think of it like this, Kyu.  What are video games essentially for?”

Kyuhyun can think of a lot of things.  For the afflicted or oppressed, escape from the real world.  For the reclusive or socially anxious, an escape into a place where socialization is possible without all the possible repercussions of the real world, a place where interaction is only necessary with particular characters and socialization with each one is necessary for some part or continuation of the game.  For the lonely, a place where a life full of friendship and love is possible.  Video games are more than just amusement, the characters often times more than just two or three dimensional people depicted on bright LED screens.  They often times become people with whom those in the real world can make a connection with, and while Kyuhyun uses his video games as a means of entertaining himself a large portion of the time, even he can’t deny the unmistakable bond he feels between himself and his favorite characters at key parts of the game.

“Amusement,” Kyuhyun replies, although he knows they’re used for so, so much more than that.

Sungmin’s eyes twinkle suspiciously, although Sungmin ultimately meets his gaze and nods his head.  “Exactly.  Amusement.  Which means that even though you come outside with me I am not necessarily preventing you from being bored, and by extension I’m not necessarily preventing you from pulling out your games to entertain yourself.”  Kyuhyun’s scowl deepens, then, and he asks, “How does that make sense?  You’re talking to me.  Pulling out the game to play while you’re talking to me would be rude.”  He’s certain that the look on his face implies that he can’t believe Sungmin hasn’t come to this conclusion himself.

But it turns out that Sungmin has, because his smile doesn’t waver, and when he talks, his voice is almost apologetic, something like a tinge of sadness fraying the indeterminate edges of his otherwise flawlessly calm, gentle voice.  “Impoliteness has never stopped you before, and it certainly didn’t stop you the first few days I knew you.”  Sungmin smiles but it’s slightly off, and for some reason it manages to douse the fire that has arisen in Kyuhyun’s core, replaces it instead with something cold and empty and almost saddening.  Kyuhyun is almost tempted to comfort him in some way, but the look about Sungmin’s smile seems to correct itself before Kyuhyun can even move, and in the end its gone so quickly Kyuhyun can even fool himself into thinking that he has imagined it.

“Which means,” Sungmin continues as if some heavy silence has not fallen between them, as if something in the air doesn't seem to have been distinctly rearranged from how it was just a few moments ago, “that you are at the very least interested in what I’ve been showing you these last few weeks.  You clearly would have taken it out at any time if you wanted to but at some point in the last two months it occurred to you that you like going outside with me to study those people.  When you realized we were staying inside, you looked like you didn’t even care about the fact that going out to sit on that bench would mean that we’d be in the complete open because the tree has no more leaves.”

Kyuhyun can’t find the words to explain himself, and so he sits there silently and lets Sungmin smile almost angelically down at him.  “Admit it, Kyu,” he repeats, “you were disappointed that we didn’t go out to study people, weren’t you?  Aren’t you still?”  Kyuhyun doesn’t intend to respond, and in the end he doesn’t even have the time, because the bell rings and Sungmin stands to grab his things, breaking eye contact with him and ultimately, somehow, someway, reverting the air in the room back to how it was when Kyuhyun first walked in.  It’s light, now, the thin, winter sunlight filtering in through the windows seemingly much brighter now – so bright, in fact, that Kyuhyun has to blink quite a few times so that he doesn’t feel blinded.

When the spots finally clear from his vision again, Sungmin is standing before him with his school bag already slipped on, the thick bag resting against his back and yet somehow not weighing him down.  The blond smiles at Kyuhyun, this one no longer gentle, but much brighter.  So bright, in fact, that Kyuhyun starts blinking all over again, almost tempted enough to lift a hand to shield his face, although fighting down the urge in favor of meeting the blond’s bright, dark brown eyes.  “Don’t forget, Kyu,” he says, and somewhere deep down Kyuhyun can’t help but to acknowledge the fact that he’s become accustomed to what Sungmin calls him, how Sungmin talks to him, to Sungmin himself – having him around in the first place.  For some reason he can’t quite place, he finds that he honestly doesn’t mind, might even –

“Meet me at the front gate after school.  Make sure you don’t forget!  I’ll get you for it tomorrow, if you do, okay?”  His words should sound threatening, but Sungmin’s eyes are so soft, and his voice so bright and almost excited that it drowns out the threat in his words and pulls something just short of a smile from Kyuhyun’s lips, and it seems like Sungmin notices because his eyes almost seem to brighten momentarily.  But Kyuhyun can’t seem to control his face into listening to him and pull the corners of his lips down so he sits there caught somewhere between a smile and a straight face, grimacing involuntarily.  And Sungmin stands there grinning at him, perfect smile seeming to dull the once too-bright light coming in from the window.

“I’ll see you after school, Kyu – don’t forget!”  And then Sungmin turns and makes his way out of the room, and Kyuhyun finally finds it within himself to gather his things and head off to class.

xXOXx

When the final bell rings at the end of the day, Kyuhyun finds himself caught between dread and something like muted excitement – muted because as soon as he realizes he’s somewhat excited, he asks himself why the hell and represses the feeling to the best of his ability.  Yet he finds that, as he packs his belongings into his bag – forcing himself to slow down to seem nonchalant because, for some reason, he’s packing up way faster than usual – he feels as though time is dragging on and is almost certain that Sungmin is already waiting for him at the front gate.

Still, he forces himself to act nonchalant, to pack his belongings at a leisurely pace, to exit the classroom in nothing like a hurry, even though somewhere deep down he can feel his conscience yelling at him to hurry the hell up, because even though it’s one of the warmer days, it still is getting to be winter and warmer days still don’t exceed thirty-five degrees.*  He reaches the front gate at a pretty easy rate, seven minutes after the final bell has rung, and Sungmin is standing there waiting for him.

When Kyuhyun arrives, the blond meets his gaze and gives him a smile so warm and bright it seems to give reason for the slight color in the boy’s nose and cheeks, although Kyuhyun is sure that the light flushes are just from the bite of the cold.  He stops right before the blond, face half covered by the high collar of his trench coat and the scarf wrapped around his neck to brace himself against the cold, and then raises a dark eyebrow at the shorter.  Sungmin, as usual, seems unfazed by his expression and gives him a small nod in greeting, accompanied by an almost delighted sounding, “Hi, Kyu.”

Kyuhyun glances around to see if anyone is watching, nothing short of glad when he is met with nothing but the sight of hundreds of students milling about on campus, trying to find their friends.  He releases something like a sigh of relief because good, no one has heard the nickname Sungmin has been using for him.  Even after two months, he isn’t quite used to it, and he especially isn’t used to hearing it in public, where they run the risk of other people hearing and possibly taking it as a means to approach him.  Embarrassment is not his priority; interaction is, and the more he can avoid it the better.

He turns his attention back to Sungmin and gives him a light nod in reciprocal greeting.  Sungmin’s smile only seems to brighten.  Then, surprising Kyuhyun so much that the younger can’t help the way his face falls to express what he’s feeling, Sungmin reaches out and pulls Kyuhyun’s arm out of his pocket, slips his hand down the sleeve of the taller’s coat, and links their hands.  Sungmin’s hand is warm at the palm and cold at the fingertips, an interesting mix of temperatures that, Kyuhyun can admit to himself, matches exactly how he feels on the inside.  He’s not sure how he feels about Sungmin so suddenly grabbing his hand – about Sungmin touching him at all, actually, because he can’t quite recall a time in which Sungmin has ever actually touched him – but he knows that he likes how soft the latter’s hand is, and the warmth that radiates from one another through their palms even though neither of them are wearing gloves.

He’s still too confused to respond when Sungmin begins pulling him down the street, so he just follows wordlessly, allowing Sungmin to lead him by their clasped hands, silently watching the slighter boy’s back as they go.  They walk in silence for a long while, and less than halfway through Kyuhyun is almost tempted to ask where they’re going, but he knows Sungmin just won’t answer.  Nonetheless they eventually begin winding down a seemingly set path in Sungmin’s mind, a road where not so many cars travel, where the loud buzzing of Seoul turns into a low hum and trees begin to sprout up in place of all the missing technology.  It’s a part of Seoul that Kyuhyun doesn’t really visit, but he has a solid idea of what it is.

So when Sungmin finally pulls him into a quaint park, void of people with the exception of a parent pushing her small child in one of the kiddie swings, he can’t say that he’s entirely surprised.  As a matter of fact, he’s more questioning than anything, silently scanning the area and wondering why the hell they’re in a park in sub thirty-five degree weather.*  Still, he says nothing and allows Sungmin to lead him to a small bench overlooking the equally quaint, equally empty playground.  Sungmin lets out something like a breath of relief when he sits, and then pats the spot next to him for Kyuhyun to sit.  The latter does so without outward question, although he ponders internally what the whole ordeal is for.  Why are they here?  After school?

They sit in silence for a long while, and Kyuhyun can feel himself becoming more and more restless with each passing moment, two parts from the cold and three parts because Sungmin so clearly knows that he is getting restless but remains silent.  It’s nearly uncontrollable, the urge to speak and question the hell out of Sungmin, yet he knows that he won’t get answers, or if he does get answers they won’t be straight answers and he really isn’t in the mood to think right now because he’s so caught up in his questions already.  Why.  Are.  They.  Here?

It’s with an almost inhuman sense of relief that Kyuhyun finally notices Sungmin reacting, turning to face him, giving him a small, yet blinding smile.  “Relax, Kyu,” the blond says after a solid few seconds of smiling.  “Don’t act so tense, we’re in a nice, quiet park.  The point is for you to relax.”  So they’re there to relax?  Naturally, Kyuhyun frowns and his thoughts double, his questions sparking even more questions.  What he voices aloud, however, is, “So you dragged me to a park about a mile and a half away from the nearest subway station after school just so that we could relax?”  The sarcasm in his voice is thick, cutting, biting, and for once he thinks it may have just offended Sungmin in some way, because the blond is looking at him with something like hurt or disapproval in his gaze.  And it’s strange because Kyuhyun isn’t quite used to seeing Sungmin without a smile on his face or with a smile that doesn’t meet his eyes.  He pouts only occasionally, and even then Kyuhyun is used to it being something like a tactic of persuasion so that he’ll actually eat his lunch.

Kyuhyun watches as Sungmin averts his gaze, seems to study a tree that still has a few leaves attached a solid distance away from them, then shifts his eyes to meet Kyuhyun’s own dark gaze again.  The blond purses his lips and shakes his head slowly.  “Not quite,” he says after a moment.  “I brought you here for more than that.”  He stops abruptly, then, as if he’s afraid he’s going to spill something he doesn’t want to, and for once Kyuhyun doesn’t try to act as though he doesn’t notice.  Instead, he quirks an eyebrow and tries to hold Sungmin’s gaze in question, but the blond refuses to meet his eyes and turns his head to look out at the entrance to the park.

Silence falls on them again, and Kyuhyun finds that he’s so ing tired of silences that he begins to make noise.  Starts tapping his fingers on the bench, a dull sound that makes no actual noise capable of truly disrupting the silence between them; starts moving his leg in a way to express his restlessness because Sungmin says they’re not there just to relax but they still haven’t moved and this so-called relaxing is only making Kyuhyun more jittery and restless; starts humming out a tune to himself because he figures it’s the only thing that will actually make noise loud enough to drown out such a dead silence.

He finds himself regretting it as soon as Sungmin snaps his head around to look at him, large eyes even larger, wide with something like surprise and a hint of admiration.  Kyuhyun stops humming just as abruptly as Sungmin stopped talking just a few moments ago, and Sungmin’s face falls for a moment before the blond is suddenly all over him – hands gripping onto his shoulders, large eyes pleading piercing into his own, a knee steadily grounded on the bench so that the blond is able to lean into Kyuhyun as much as he is.  Kyuhyun is overcome by a strange sense of lightheadedness, a dizziness that has him inhaling sharply but unable to avert his gaze from Sungmin’s, and when Sungmin speaks, he’s so close to Kyuhyun that the foggy, wintery breath that leaves his lips with his words paint a white picture across Kyuhyun’s own breaths, intermingling, dancing in the cold air.

“Please don’t stop humming,” Sungmin says, and it takes a minute for Kyuhyun to get over his sensory overload enough to make some semblance of sense of the words.  “What,” he asks, confused, wondering if he’s heard correctly.  And apparently he has, for Sungmin repeats, “Please, don’t stop humming.  Keep humming Kyu, your voice is lovely.”  But that still doesn’t take away from how taken aback he is, both by their proximity and by the sincerity expressed in Sungmin’s words.  His voice is lovely?  He’s never thought much of it; he’s always been aware that he doesn’t sound awful when he sings or hums a tune to himself, but lovely?  Frankly he’s earnestly surprised that anyone uses that word in real life in the first place.

He sits there silently, so aware of Sungmin’s bare hands on his shoulders, of Sungmin’s foggy breath kissing his own, of Sungmin’s unwavering, yet pleading, wide-eyed gaze, that he’s practically hyperaware of everything around him, unsure how to respond.  Sungmin jostles him lightly but doesn’t break eye contact, and then once more, pleadingly asks, “Kyuhyun, please.  Hum again.”  And so Kyuhyun finally responds and begins to hum a tune to some song he can’t remember the name of, and he watches, as he hums, how Sungmin seems to relax, his large, dark brown eyes reverting back to their original size, feels more than sees how Sungmin finally realizes their proximity and slowly begins to back away, definitely feels more than sees how the blond’s grip on his shoulders loosens until eventually the hands are back at Sungmin’s sides.

The blond’s expression goes blank for a moment, and then progressively slips into one of awe, of admiration, and Kyuhyun – for once in his life – has to fight down something like a blush because he can’t recall a time Sungmin has ever looked at him like that; like he’s the first shooting star in a dark, hopeless sky.  It chokes him up for a second, and his voice cuts off, and it’s like cutting Sungmin’s most precious loved one off life support because his face falls instantly, and then he’s on Kyuhyun again, hands supporting him as he leans across the bench and whines, very much like a sad puppy, “Kyuhyun, don’t stop.  Keep humming.  Please, keep humming.”

Kyuhyun takes a good look at the blond’s face, at the three, small, barely noticeable scars across his cold-flushed cheek, at the red tip of his nose and the once again pleading eyes, and absentmindedly starts humming the same tune, and watches as Sungmin sighs almost contentedly and slips back into his own personal space on the bench, drawing up his legs and wrapping his arms around them, chin resting on his knees.  Kyuhyun swears for the briefest of instances he looks about five, but he doesn’t let that deter him until he’s done humming his song – from start to finish.

Sungmin seems to know exactly when it ends, because he spends those last few moments looking directly at Kyuhyun, steadfastly meeting his gaze, that shimmering awe back in his dark eyes, and Kyuhyun feels that same feeling from earlier bubbling in his core again.  He tries to think of a name for it, to come to terms with this strange feeling he doesn’t quite recognize but somehow knows.  But nothing comes to mind, and when Sungmin speaks again, the mere thought of it completely slips his mind.

“Kyu,” the blond says, still meeting Kyuhyun’s gaze, “why don’t you hum or sing more often?  Your voice is lovely.”  He pauses, seems to mull over his words for a moment, and then adds, “I really like your voice.”  Then he seems to flush even darker, and Kyuhyun isn’t sure if it’s from the sudden drop in temperature around them – how long have they been in this park anyway? – or if it’s because he’s just given Kyuhyun a compliment.  Either way the flush seems to sober Sungmin up from whatever the hell it was that just possessed him, and he quickly reverts back to the smiling, bright, blond ball of calm and ease that he usually is.

“I’m sorry for being so crazy a little while ago,” he begins again, “I just really like music and I don’t really get to hear it as often as I’d like.  So…”  He trails off, and Kyuhyun wonders how little Sungmin gets to hear music if he freaks out so much over actually hearing it, but he doesn’t question, doesn’t push it, because for once it’s clear in the downcast look on Sungmin’s face that he doesn’t wish to talk about it.  Still, it tears at Kyuhyun internally, his curiosity being eternally fed but never satiated by this strange, blond boy in front of him.  He feels as though today he’s begun to try to learn about Sungmin and come out with more questions than answers.

There’s another long silence between them, and then Kyuhyun finally realizes that Sungmin has never told him what they’re there for.  So he points out, “I still don’t know why we’re here,” and Sungmin seems to snap out of some sort of reverie, lifting his head to meet Kyuhyun’s gaze with his own wide-eyed one.  “Oh yeah, you’re right,” the blond says, and then he smiles and offers his hand.  Kyuhyun stares at it for a few seconds, then looks directly at Sungmin and lifts an eyebrow.  Sungmin’s smile is unshakable as the blond proceeds to make a show of placing his other hand into his offered one and closing them around each other, holding his own hand in example of what he expects Kyuhyun to do.

Stoically, Kyuhyun reaches down and places his hand in Sungmin’s open one, and Sungmin smiles and wastes no time in standing up and pulling the taller up with him.  Then, wordlessly, he leads Kyuhyun over to a swing set hidden behind the quaint playground.  Kyuhyun allows himself to be led, knowing that questioning or arguing will get him nowhere, and when Sungmin tells him to take a seat on one of the swings, he obeys without a word.  The moment he sits down, however, he looks up at Sungmin and gives him a questioning expression, knowing that Sungmin responds better to expressions than words.

What he gets instead is Sungmin with his hands clasped behind his back, rocking back and forth from the balls of his feet to his heels, smiling down at him in a way that seems to brighten what is doubtlessly one of the brightest days of the coming winter even further.  If possible, he raises his eyebrow further, new questions arising.  Sungmin makes a sort of clucking sound with his tongue before finally responding.  “You want to know why we’re here, right?”  His smile is so bright, it’s blinding, and Kyuhyun feels the need to suppress the urge to squint up at him.  Rather, he nods his head and watches Sungmin’s face for any hints, despite the fact that he knows Sungmin won’t give one.

“We’re here for the swings,” Sungmin says, “So swing.”  Then the blond takes a seat on the swing next to Kyuhyun’s and begins backing up for momentum.  Kyuhyun is stunned into silence, unable to think of any form of reply – sarcastic or otherwise.  So he sits there and watches as Sungmin allows the swing to launch itself forward with him on it, rocking back and forth to make it go higher, hair blowing all around his face, exposing it to the cold wind.  Kyuhyun thinks swinging in this kind of weather must be freezing, thinks that it’s a pretty stupid idea to come out to a park at this time of year.  Yet when Sungmin looks over at him, pouts and says, “Kyu, we came for the swings, so swing,” in a voice that fades in and out just the slightest because of his momentum, Kyuhyun heaves a sigh and begins to back up for some momentum of his own.

The moment he allows his swing to actually begin swinging, Sungmin grabs onto the chain of his swing, jerking him back.  Were it not for his instinctually tight grip on the chains, and maybe some of the weight of the school bag strapped onto him, he probably would’ve fallen right on his face.  He hears Sungmin’s amused laugh from next to him and has to take in a few, rather inconspicuous deep breaths to calm himself because he’s just about ready to shove the blond’s face into the dirt at their feet, three parts for laughing at him and two parts for officially making him incapable of looking up, because Kyuhyun refuses to get caught up in the entrancing face of Sungmin’s laugh.  “Hang on, Kyu,” he hears Sungmin say from next to him, amusement unfettered in his voice, tone light and teasing and all things bright and sunny on this cold day in early December and somehow it manages to ease Kyuhyun out of his slightly violent mood.

“I want us to start swinging at the same time,” the blond adds, and then Kyuhyun is able to hear the sound of the other’s feet coming into contact with the ground in an attempt to stop his swing.  It takes a few moments, but he finally does, and only then does Kyuhyun lift his gaze from the ground to Sungmin’s face.  Sungmin looks quite focused as he begins to back up, trying his best to pull Kyuhyun’s swing with him.  Kyuhyun, suddenly feeling some sort of guilt for making the blond do so much work, begins to step back along with him, trying to time it just so, so that they both reach the back at around the same distance from their starting point at around the same time.  Even so, Sungmin’s hand is still gripping onto Kyuhyun’s swing.

He pulls them to a stop just when the swing starts to get too high for him to actually sit on, and the chuckle that escapes Kyuhyun is quiet, but the blond catches it anyway.  The smaller of the two doesn’t let go of the swing as he looks up at Kyuhyun, eyes wide and questioning, and asks, “Wait, what’s so funny?  Did I do something funny?”  And Kyuhyun shakes his head and, trying his best to suppress his amusement, replies, “You’re not funny, just short.”  And Sungmin’s face falls into a frown, those M-shaped lips of his falling into a pout that almost makes Kyuhyun feel guilty, at least up until Sungmin retorts, in a voice so quiet that it’s almost inaudible, “I’m not short, you’re just tall.”

Then the blond lets go of the chain of Kyuhyun’s swing and crosses his arms over his chest, frowning, and Kyuhyun feels that strange bubbling again but decides to ignore it in favor of trying to hold himself up so that his swing doesn’t start swinging before Sungmin’s.  It takes another few seconds but Sungmin shakes off what Kyuhyun has said to him, bright smile slipping back into place as if it never fell off, and Kyuhyun can’t help but to think that he’s surprisingly good at shaking off what seems to hurt and throwing on a smile.  He can feel himself slipping into thoughts of it – theories as to why Sungmin would be so good at it – but Sungmin himself interrupts him with, “Ready to swing?”  And before Kyuhyun can respond, Sungmin lets Kyuhyun’s swing go and lifts his legs off the ground, and Kyuhyun is forced to lift his own feet and try to will his swing to catch up to Sungmin’s, despite the fact that he knows that it’s impossible.

“You’re a tad late there, Kyu,” Sungmin says, amusement in his voice again, and Kyuhyun isn’t quite sure why but he makes a point of struggling to catch up.  He rocks back and forth on the swing, in time with its momentum, trying to build momentum, and normally he wouldn’t care, he would let the swing continue to swing until it stopped rather than try to build the momentum to keep it going, but for some reason he feels he shouldn’t this time, feels as though he has to try to keep up with Sungmin.  So try he does, for a solid half hour or so, and by the time they finally get off the swings, the sun is beginning to set and Sungmin is shivering, face flushed an even brighter shade of red, but he is smiling a smile bright enough to illuminate the day better than any sun ever could.

Kyuhyun can only stare, because he still can’t quite understand why they walked a mile and a half away from where he needs to go to get home to play on the swing set for half an hour in the cold, and Sungmin is giving no actual explanation.  He’s just standing there looking up at him with that impossibly bright smile on his face, hands clasped behind his back, rocking back and forth on his feet, looking impossibly innocent and mischievous all at once, and it’s a bit unsettling in an almost pleasurable way because Kyuhyun has only ever seen Sungmin all calm and peaceful.  He thinks today may be the most emotion he’s ever seen on the other’s features, so openly expressed between the two of them.

He thinks back to his laugh and thinks that maybe he’s expressed himself a bit more than usual too.  But he doesn’t find that nearly as relevant.

It’s Sungmin’s voice, as usual, it seems, that snaps him out of his thoughts.  “Well, I guess we’d better start heading back so we can get home.”  He reaches out his hand and this time Kyuhyun doesn’t need the blond to mime around to understand what he wants – or, wait, no.  He didn’t need Sungmin’s one-man demonstration the last time to understand what the other wanted; rather, he needed Sungmin’s one-man demonstration to convince him to actually take the other’s hand.  This time, he feels, he doesn’t need much convincing, finds that it’s actually kind of comfortable slipping his hand into Sungmin’s and allowing the older to pull him around, although when he asks himself why he also doesn’t need much convincing to say that it’s because it’s cold out and Sungmin’s hand, while cold at the fingertips, is warm at the palm.

Their walk is spent in silence, another half hour of nothing but Sungmin dragging Kyuhyun along to the nearest subway station, hands sharing warmth in a way that’s comforting in this kind of weather.  When they arrive to the train station, they don’t hesitate to step inside – or well, Sungmin doesn’t hesitate to step inside and pull Kyuhyun in behind him.  The heater blasting throughout the place is enough to make Kyuhyun feel some sort of discomfort under his thick jacket, although it also feels like a huge relief to have the cold stop pressing in on them from all sides.  He glances down at Sungmin and is surprised when he sees that Sungmin is still shivering, despite the walk and the heat in the building.

Yet despite his obvious discomfort, Sungmin is smiling up at him.  It’s another one of those sweet, genuine smiles that manage to start the weird, bubbling feeling in Kyuhyun’s core again, but Kyuhyun chooses to ignore it this time, instead inspecting the coat Sungmin is wearing.  It’s not necessarily the best jacket – actually, now that he really looks at it, the jacket is nothing more than a thick sweater, and Sungmin is wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to keep himself warm.  And even despite that, with his teeth chattering, the blond is smiling up at him.  If not for his teeth, looking at his face would never give the impression that anything is wrong with him.

Luckily, Kyuhyun isn’t one so easily fooled, because even if Sungmin does manage to catch him off guard, if there is one thing the blond cannot do, it is catch Kyuhyun off guard enough to fool him.  So he raises a dark eyebrow and says, “Why didn’t you wear an actual coat?”  And something flickers in those large eyes, in that bunny-like face, but it’s gone before Kyuhyun can really process what it is, and Sungmin’s smile is just as bright as ever.  “It’s a warm day out,” Sungmin responds, but it’s so obvious that his body says otherwise.  Kyuhyun frowns down at him, suspicion unabashedly etching itself into his features, and he notices how the blond quickly averts his gaze and looks up at the crowd of people milling about, getting off trains and finding their respective platforms in a not-so-subtle effort to avoid his gaze.

Then the blond looks up at the digital clock displayed above the ticket booth to their right and, in a way that’s a little too genuine to be genuine, exclaims, “Is that the time?  I need to go, my train will be getting here in five.”  He’s still shivering, Kyuhyun can see, and it’s a bit unnerving because if he looks closely enough he can see that Sungmin’s face is too pale; the face of someone’s whose blood is too cold to actually be rushing, even when exposed to heat.  He sizes the boy for a few fractions of a second longer, and then heaves a sigh before removing his book bag, and then his coat.  Sungmin, although in a supposed hurry, looks up at him, wide-eyed, as Kyuhyun extends the clothing out to him.

“Take it.”  It’s a command, not an offer, but Sungmin tries to refute it anyway.  “But Kyuhyun you’ll just –.”  Kyuhyun cuts him off.  “Just take it,” he says, this more forcefully than the command, and Sungmin lowers his gaze but doesn’t argue this time.  Instead, he reaches out, grabs the coat, and holds it in his hands, looking up at Kyuhyun with those big, dark brown eyes of his.  “Put it on,” Kyuhyun adds, “Before you go.  You’re freezing, I can see it.”  Sungmin opens his mouth to retort, probably to insist that he’s fine, but Kyuhyun won’t hear it, so the blond just frowns and removes his bag, and then slips off his sweater so he can slip on the coat, and then his book bag.  Then, without bothering to tell Kyuhyun why, he shoves the sweater he just took off into Kyuhyun’s arms amidst a string of words that sounds like, “Wear this,” turns, and runs off into the crowd.

Kyuhyun is left standing there, clutching onto the jacket and scanning the crowd for a head of blond hair.  And when he finally decides to quit searching and go home half an hour later, when he’s just stepping onto the train, he takes one last look back at the station to see Sungmin standing there at his terminal, smiling brightly and waving at him as the train doors slide shut.  He’s not sure if it’s just his mind playing tricks on him, but he swears Sungmin wasn’t shivering when he was waving.

Wow guess who's finally back with a new chapter it's been so long I'm so ing sorry holy hell.  You guys have held out EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS for this update and I am SO sorry I could never apologize enough for this omg.  This chapter was so difficult to write; the KyuMin chapters are always a challenge for me because there's so much going on (that you guys don't know about yet haha) and I'm trying to set everything up for later KyuMin chapters (ahem) so these chapters take time as it is.  Add that to the fact that senior year is a and well, I guess I'm like a billionth excused for how late this update is.  On the bright side, I graduate in a few days and then I'll have the summer to do as I please - which means I'm going job hunting so I can earn some college book money because textbooks are hella expensive.  Nonetheless I should have a lot more free time to write and update so I pray I can update faster.
Anyway, I just want to thank all of you beautiful people for staying around to read this I swear I don't deserve you guys. The sweetest subscribers an author could ever have thank you so so so so much.  I hope this chapter at least somewhat compensates for the super long wait. Please do let me know what you think, Lovelies. I've missed you all so much <3

* thirty-five degrees fahrenheit is roughly 1.5 degrees celsius.

- K