Six
Lessons

Kyuhyun

Kyuhyun doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but he knows that he’s slowly becoming more comfortable around Sungmin.  It’s odd, because he’s never particularly enjoyed human interaction or even been able to get comfortable with it – hence his acquired habit of avoiding such interaction at all costs.  And he knows it’s odd; he knows it’s completely out of place; he knows it’s completely out of character for him to feel so at peace whenever the blond boy is around but, for some reason, he feels calmer around Sungmin.  More at ease with the world around him.  More willing to open up to the world around him – at least as much as someone like him can open up to the world around him by putting down his gaming devices and observing other people for once in his life.

It has been a week since Sungmin has begun dragging him outside.  Each and every day, despite the brunette’s protests, the blond has been earlier than him in arriving to their usual meeting room, not even allowing him to sit before dragging him outside into the dreaded outdoor eating area.  (He still finds it eccentric that people spend their lunch hour outside when the weather can already be considered cold enough to render such a place avoidable, but then again he also has some inkling that his finding the whole ordeal odd is due to his own personal avoidance to anything even mildly associated to forms of human interaction.)  Once outside, Sungmin never fails to lead him to the same bench as always and proceed to ask him to point out someone in the chattering mass of students eating before them to examine for the day.

Never in his life would Cho Kyuhyun have believed that he would know as much about the people in his school as he does now.  Despite only having been studying one person a day for five weekdays, Cho Kyuhyun knows the reality behind five individual student’s smiles – five more than he would ever have believed he’d bother trying to know.  And it’s not technically his doing; it’s technically Sungmin’s influence on him that has him suddenly obtaining all of this knowledge he doesn’t really want nor have use for.  Nonetheless, for some reason he can’t bring himself to tell the blond that he doesn’t want to observe people and find out the reason behind the lack of genuine happiness in their eyes whenever they smile.

Never in his life would Cho Kyuhyun have believed that so many of the three thousand students at SM Academic Institution have as depressing lives as he’s found that many of them do.  He only knows specifically of five, although Sungmin has told him that there are hundreds more – that the near three thousand students only smile to put up appearances for teachers and for one another.  Sungmin has also told him that those with the brightest smiles are usually the ones with the worst problems; that those with the brightest smiles are the ones putting on the biggest facades; that those with the brightest smiles are the ones that are the best at disguising themselves because they look so happy it almost exudes an air of legitimacy.  It startles Kyuhyun, because he can no longer look at his classmates without wondering what their inner struggle is – something he is still too avoidant of human interaction to ask.

He can’t say, on the other hand, that it doesn’t cross his mind more than once whenever he looks at someone.  And he can’t say, along the same line, that even though it’s only been a week he finds the whole truth that Sungmin’s been showing him intriguing.  To Kyuhyun it’s like figuring out a new way to defeat an enemy or boss level in one of his precious games; it’s not exactly easy and usually it will take him a few tries, although once he manages to figure it out he finds some sort of deeper understanding of it all – in his video games, he finds deeper understanding of the goal of the game; in his studies of fellow students of the Institution he finds a deeper understanding of the individual and the overall workings of society around him.

It both piques his interest and amplifies his need to stay away from socialization; he finds, after his week of observing, that he is justified in wanting to avoid human interaction at all costs.  He’s come to find that people are individuals at heart but robots externally, and he can’t see himself appreciating conversation with those that conform to the general idea of what someone their age should act like just to hide their individuality.  He almost wishes that the rest of the students at his school knew that they were all hiding the same things from each other.

Maybe this is why he is more comfortable around Sungmin than with other people: Sungmin has not only managed to hold civil conversation with him – none of that skirt-chasing nonsense that most other boys at his school attempt to throw his way whenever speaking to him – but has also shown him the true nature of the people around him.  It may have only been a week with a weekend break in between no less, but Kyuhyun finds himself reading people as he goes along; finds himself seeking out the bags under their eyes or the lack of energy as they walk; finds himself searching for double meanings whenever he manages to catch the ending bits of a conversation when he’s passing by or the answers to a teacher's question in class.  It’s already ingrained; Cho Kyuhyun’s always been a fast learner.

His mind is thus already whirring as he opens the door to the classroom he always meets Sungmin in and steps inside.  Sungmin, as is typical for the past week, is perched upon the teacher’s desk with his legs swinging back and forth merrily, eyes focused on the floor tiles beneath him pensively and school bag still hanging on his shoulders.  When the door closes behind Kyuhyun, the blond lifts his head, meets the brunette’s dark gaze, and then offers him a brief smile.  “Hey,” he greets softly as he hops off the desk and makes his way over to Kyuhyun; “Are you all set to go?”

Kyuhyun shifts from one foot to the other the minute he gets a good look at Sungmin’s face because he notices a few thin, angry, red scratches trailing along the boy’s left cheek.  He pauses, not exactly uncomfortable but suddenly not exactly ready to go, curiosity suddenly surging within him.  How exactly did Sungmin get those scratches?  Did he fall and hurt himself somewhere?  Was it an accident?  Kyuhyun freezes after an instant of pondering and internally questions: why does he care?  He doesn’t move an inch as he eyes the cuts on Sungmin’s cheek, feeling something curling into itself within his gut, sending a sense of disquietude throughout him.  Yet, regardless of what he’s really feeling, he wordlessly gives Sungmin a short nod and allows the other to breeze past him to lead the way out to their new usual spot.

It is only after they exit the classroom that he realizes he probably spent a good fifteen seconds just staring at the blond’s face, soundless and unresponsive.  He finds himself hoping that Sungmin is oblivious enough to not have noticed – or at least merciful enough to not bring his random fifteen seconds of staring up later.

As is typical for them now, the blond leads him out of the main entrance of the building they’re in, out around the back of the main school building, through the courtyard of the school cafeteria building, and finally to the outdoor eating area.  The stares they receive as they walk over to their usual bench obscured by the large deciduous tree are less than those they received on their first day out, although still quite measureable, and it still makes Kyuhyun uncomfortable as he awkwardly waddles his way to the bench behind Sungmin.

He notices, upon sitting, that the tree is finally beginning to lose some leaves, the fallen ones scattered lazily along the ground and a couple even laying crumpled on the bench.  He can’t help but to think that it’s about time, but he also can’t help but worry about the fact that their obscurity will be taken away from them soon and people will be able to notice them watching.  He wonders if Sungmin will still drag him out to watch people even when they’ll be fully exposed, eventually coming to the conclusion that, although Sungmin is blond, the latter certainly is not stupid and wouldn’t do something so risky. Still, a part of him feels uncomfortable with the leaves falling.

Sungmin is already sitting as the brunette takes his seat, his school bag already resting on his lap as Kyuhyun, almost hesitantly, places his own bag on the ground by his legs.  They sit in silence for a brief minute, and then Sungmin lightly gestures out to the group of people in front of them.  “Go ahead and choose someone,” he says, to which Kyuhyun only purses his lips and casts his gaze upon the group of people in front of him.

He scans the crowd for a short while, trying to find someone – anyone really – that they can study, until his gaze finally lands on a dark-haired boy seated alone at a small corner table.  His cheeks are relatively large, eyes just as dark as the hair that falls to the nape of his neck.  He is, naturally (as he is alone), silent, eyes seemingly transfixed on the meal set out in front of him.  He eats with a sort of gentleness that suggests that beneath his expressionless exterior, he may just be a bit more expressive than he lets on.  Any other details are lost on Kyuhyun for the distance between them is too great to allow the brunette to make out anything else.

Still, he turns his head to face Sungmin and jabs his thumb in the direction of the boy halfheartedly.  “Let’s try him,” he says, and Sungmin only nods and clears his throat before beginning.  “Alright, well,” he says, cocking his head to the side just a bit, as if concentrating , and then letting his eyes roam.  Further inspection – and even some of his own tracing – leads the former to believe that Sungmin is viewing the boy from the tips of each length of hair on his head down to his toes rather than aimlessly allowing his eyes to wander about to take in the surroundings of the courtyard that the blond has managed to drag them out to for the past week.

It seems to take forever for Sungmin to finish his sentence, although when he finally does pick it back up, he ends it quickly.  “That’s Kim Kibum,” he says, and Kyuhyun notices how the blond’s eyes suddenly seem to be almost glued to the boy’s face.  “He has a tendency to sit alone during lunch periods,” he continues before turning his head to look at Kyuhyun and ask, “Can you determine why?”

Kyuhyun is caught completely off guard by the question; Sungmin has never asked him to determine anything about anyone.  Usually the blond just presents the person’s name before launching into some small lecture about what he knows about the person and connecting it back to the lesson he’d taught Kyuhyun on the first day.  Something like disappointment settles in Kyuhyun’s gut at the idea that maybe Sungmin isn’t as knowing as he makes himself seem; that the image that Kyuhyun has of the other in his head of the blond knowing things about everyone that no one else notices is a simple lie he’s managed to convince himself is true from what he’s witnessed within the past week.  And it’s weird because Kyuhyun doesn’t quite understand why he would feel disappointment about something so seemingly meaningless.

Hoping to find reasons for Sungmin’s sudden questioning, Kyuhyun asks, “Why?  You haven’t been able to determine it?”  He notices the way Sungmin’s brow furrows, and then how the latter’s mouth pulls down at the corners before the blond’s face lightens and the boy lets out a small laugh.  “No, it’s not that, Kyu,” he says, as usual making Kyuhyun half jump at the nickname; he swears he’ll never get used to it.  He’s so caught up in the sensation the name causes that he almost misses it when Sungmin says, “I just want to see if you’ll be able to see for yourself what’s up with him.”

Kyuhyun pauses, allowing the words to sink in, and then he raises an eyebrow at the blond before him.  “Wait, you want to see if I can figure out what’s up with him on my own?”  When the blond nods, Kyuhyun frowns and asks, “Wait but why?  How can you possibly expect me to know what’s going on when it’s only my first time seeing him?”  Sungmin his head to the right, dark eyes wide and strangely endearing, an innocence upon that porcelain face that Kyuhyun finds almost unbelievable, marred only by the thin red lines gracing the boy’s cheek with their presence.  The blond then gives him a smile; a smile that makes the sun seem a little less bright in comparison and has Kyuhyun’s frown deepening at the sight of those red marks because really – where did they come from?

Sungmin doesn’t seem to notice Kyuhyun’s eyes though, because within the next few fractions of a second he hums and says, “Consider it something like a test, Kyu.  I want to see what you’ve learned so far.”  Kyuhyun turns his head and looks down at Sungmin, eyeing him through his own cold, calculating gaze.

A test.  Sungmin says it’s like a test and Kyuhyun almost allows himself to scoff at the prospect because Sungmin seems to know a thing or two about Kyuhyun and tests.  Otherwise, why would Sungmin even make the comparison?  The blond must know that Kyuhyun is a fairly exceptional performer on tests and must know that it’s because Kyuhyun refuses to allow any flimsy, standardized piece of paper trick him out of being correct.  Call it illogically competitive but it’s within the brunette’s nature at this point; he turns no test down because to turn them down would be to turn down a challenge and if there is one thing Cho Kyuhyun loves doing, it’s wiping the floor with any and all challengers – no matter who or what it is.  Kyuhyun is convinced that Sungmin must know something about his absurdly competitive nature, because honestly why else would the other use it against him?

The thought of Sungmin watching him from afar enters his mind, and although Kyuhyun wishes to dismiss it he can’t help but to allow tangents to arise in the form of questions.  Has Sungmin been watching him from afar?  Or even up close?  Has the blond been studying him while he’s been distracted doing god-knows-what – probably playing video games, as is typical.  The idea brings both a sense of discomfort and strange flattery.  He finds the thought of Sungmin watching him disturbing, although he finds it even more disturbing that he rather likes the idea of Sungmin studying him.  It makes him feel as if he’s interesting – despite his cold and quiet exterior.

But then again how can he be so sure that Sungmin has been watching him in the first place?  Maybe the blond is just particularly good at reading people or has heard things about him from other students – maybe classmates, maybe random people in the halls, maybe the people the blond even studies in his spare time as the latter’s subjects speak to other people.  Kyuhyun isn’t exactly what someone would call a nobody in his school; he’s actually quite renowned at SMAI for his exceptional academic talents.  Actually, thinking back on it he finds it odd that Sungmin had to ask for his name when they first met.

It hits him then, albeit belatedly, that if Sungmin had to ask for his name when they first saw each other that maybe he isn’t as well heard of as he originally thought he is.  The statement seems to ring truer when he considers the fact that the short blond kid next to him seems to know everyone in school by their name – along with their background story.  Something like disappointment arises within Kyuhyun’s core as he realizes that maybe Sungmin really didn’t know him before they first saw each other in that empty classroom during lunch, and it manages to force his brow to furrow deeper still for the briefest of instances, after which Kyuhyun catches himself and relaxes his features. 

Wordlessly, the brunette inspects the boy’s face, searching for any indications that the blond is watching him at the moment – testing his hypothesis.  (He fights a scoff at the idea, because honestly his mind never seems to stop whirring and buzzing, always finding the academic and logic in places where academic and logic never seem to belong.)  Other than Sungmin staring innocently back at him with those big, dark eyes and those angry red cuts lining his cheek, he can’t find the barest hints of any form of studious intrigue in the boy.  Suppressing the oddest urge to sigh in what might be frustration, but is probably really just confusion, Kyuhyun tears his gaze away from the wide-eyed blond before him and turns his attention to the dark-haired boy he’s chosen to study for the hour.               

He inspects the boy’s face as best as he can from his distance yet again, this time noticing an overall expression of tiredness.  It’s nowhere near as tired as Hyoyeon’s, he believes, although it most certainly is there and he can see it now that he’s really focusing on paying attention to every key detail.  Still, the minute detail he’s managed to capture does not do much to help him in his attempts to decipher what’s wrong.  Absentmindedly, Kyuhyun brings a finger to his chin and rubs it, a soft, almost inaudible hum escaping him as he continues to search for clues.

Still, he sees nothing new, and with a barely perceptible shrug of the shoulders he turns to face Sungmin and says, “He’s tired, so I guess he works late at night.  Or something.”  He noticeably startles in his seat when, for whatever godforsaken reason, Sungmin lets out an almost inaudible laugh, and Kyuhyun really has to fight off the urge to wince at the way the bright red cuts along the other’s cheek seem to contrast so much with a face as perpetually happy as Sungmin’s seems to be.  He watches, almost entranced by the blond’s laughing face for some reason he cannot quite place, as Sungmin’s eyes squint into little crescents and his bright white teeth are exposed, his M-shaped lips pulling back just enough to allow them to shine to the world as the sweetest and most genuine of sounds fill the air between them.

It’s odd, really, that Kyuhyun can’t bring himself to look away or break the boy’s happiness, because usually hearing or watching other people laugh or some form of both tends to annoy him, and so he’ll normally shut them up as quick as they start laughing.  But looking at Sungmin and his bright, white teeth, his thrown-back head of blond hair, his crescent, amused eyes, he can’t find it within himself to put the laughter to an end.  There’s an odd sensation somewhere within him – something like a tightening feeling within him that he can’t quite place – and it sends his head buzzing.  And the buzzing only gets worse as he continues to watch Sungmin laugh.  And the buzzing only gets worse as Sungmin’s laughter becomes a steady melody within his eardrums.  And the buzzing only gets worse – way worse – when the blond finally does stop laughing and, instead, straightens and meets Kyuhyun’s cold, dark, calculating gaze with eyes that reflect warmth and amusement.

Kyuhyun can feel his mind practically short-circuiting.  Sungmin still has a grin plastered on his face, and Kyuhyun suddenly remembers the cuts on his cheek, taking note again of how such angry slices along the cheek don’t match a sunny smile like Sungmin’s.  At all.  And the buzzing only gets worse.  And then Sungmin speaks, and the buzzing suddenly comes to an abrupt stop as if it never happened in the first place and Kyuhyun finds himself caught in a jumbled mass of confusion beneath his calm façade.  What the hell is wrong with him?

“That was funny, Kyu,” Sungmin says, effectively snapping the brunette out of whatever trance he’s managed to slip into within the space of the last few seconds.  He feels his brow furrow at the nickname again; he’s two hundred percent sure, at this point, that he’ll never get used to it.  Then he raises an eyebrow at the blond sitting next to him, a question in his expression.  Sungmin’s grin only seems to broaden, and then the blond says, “Kyu, just because he looks tired doesn’t mean he works really late hours.”

Kyuhyun does not lower his eyebrow; only stares at Sungmin and waits for him to expand because really, Kyuhyun wants to see where he went wrong and how far off he was from the real answer.  Sungmin notices his expression and almost immediately the boy’s grin dies down.  Kyuhyun watches as the blond clears his throat and averts his gaze back over to the dark-haired boy they’ve been inspecting.  “Alright, well then,” he half-whispers, and Kyuhyun is sure it’s more to himself than to the brunette, because Sungmin’s expression isn’t particularly focused on anyone; “Kim Kibum.  Where do I begin?”

There’s a slight pause in which Sungmin rubs his chin and then, with a very minimal shrug, begins his explanation of Kibum’s background story.  “Alright,” he begins; “now from the looks of it, you can see that he’s really tired, right?”  Kyuhyun nods in agreement, although wordlessly as he allows his gaze to flick back and forth between the blond next to him and the dark-brunette boy they’re currently studying.  “Right well for one thing, it’s not because he works.  Kim Kibum really is tired, but it’s because of the exact opposite; he’s always tired because he’s always caught up in parties until really late at night.”

At this, Kyuhyun snaps his head to look over at Sungmin, eyebrows dropped down into a bewildered frown because really, he wasn’t expecting to hear something like that about someone who seems to spend his lunch periods alone in a dark, secluded corner.  Sungmin catches sight of his face and lets out another small laugh, muffling it to the best of his abilities with a hand and momentarily threatening to reinstall the buzzing that has only disappeared from Kyuhyun’s confused mind a few moments ago.  “Why do you look so surprised, Kyu,” Sungmin questions, a pale hand coming around to hold his stomach as he looks up at the said brunette with amused eyes yet again.  “Didn’t I tell you that not everyone is who they appear to be?”

Kyuhyun purses his lips, mildly feeling like a child who’s just been scolded, although he nods in affirmation.  The smile left as remnants of Sungmin’s laughter stretches just the slightest, just for the briefest of instances, before Sungmin shakes his head and falls back into his lecture mode.  “Anyway, like I was saying before, Kibum is always so tired because he’s always getting caught up in really late parties.  The thing is that the parties he goes to aren’t ordinary, end-of-every-week high school parties.  The parties he goes to are thrown by his parents, and he’s always forced to go to them because his parents are really well respected in the business world and he’s the expected heir of their company.”

The brunette frowns and raises a hand to halt the blond in the midst of the latter taking a short breath to continue.  “Wait a minute,” he requests; “expected heir of what company?”  Because from the looks of it, Kibum doesn’t seem like any sort of heir.  Sungmin meets Kyuhyun’s cold gaze for the briefest of instances before Kyuhyun averts his gaze and focuses on trying to listen instead.  Again, he tries not to wince as his eyes glide over the red cuts on the boy’s cheek.  “Have you ever heard of Kim Corp.,” Sungmin questions, and Kyuhyun finds it hard to not let his jaw detach itself from his skull because yes he knows exactly what Kim Corp. is; as a matter of fact, it would be more surprising if he didn’t know who they are.

“No, no, of course I don’t know who they are because, you know, it’s not like they own half of Seoul or anything.”  Kyuhyun can’t keep the sarcasm out of his words – they are the first thing that come to mind and thus they slip past his lips without giving him time to think about what he’s saying.  He curses the unusual slip of the tongue, because Kyuhyun is a self-proclaimed and widely-acknowledged-as social recluse who despises any form of human interaction and thus only responds to questions with the bare minimum necessary for a coherent response.  One glance at the blond next to him tells him that Sungmin didn’t miss the atypically extended, snarky response either – because Sungmin knows it’s out of character, what with the way the only way Kyuhyun ever speaks more than just a few required words is when he has questions of his own to ask; and even then he has a tendency to keep them brief and straightforward.

Thankfully, however, Sungmin doesn’t comment on it, rather visibly returning his attention to the dark-haired Kim boy they’re studying.  “Yeah, Kibum is the heir of the almighty Kim Corporation, so his parents drag him to all sorts of formal business parties that run into late hours of the night every single time there is one.  That tiredness that’s visible in his eyes is due to the fact that his parents have a tendency to throw these parties on weeknights just as much as they throw them on Fridays and Saturdays.”  The blond stops for a moment, seems to consider something, blond brow furrowing in thought, before he almost imperceptibly shakes the thought off and continues speaking.

“Anyway, the point is that there are times – and those times are quite often, let me tell you – where Kibum will go to bed well after three in the morning, after dealing with aristocratic business people who’ve been drinking far past their limit for hours on end, only to wake up early that morning to get ready to come to school.”  Kyuhyun frowns as he hears this because really; what kind of parents purposefully keep their child up until ungodly hours of the morning on a school night knowing that their kid has to wake up early for school the next morning?  (Or that same morning, he should say, considering the time the kid goes to sleep.)

“But wait; why would they do that knowing that Kibum has school?”  Sungmin gives him a small, melancholy smile before saying, “To be honest, I haven’t been able to find a reason other than that they really don’t care.  Kibum’s been raised from the time he was able to walk and talk to learn the family trade.  His parents never really showed him much affection – he had to earn that through hard work in the company even at a very young age.”  Again, the blond stops, seems to consider something, and then continues.  “With a company as big as Kim Corporation, appearance is everything, because even the smallest scratch on the surface can turn a whole bunch of potential customers, or whatever it is that individual businesses sell to, away.  So when Kibum was little, his parents gave him extensive tutoring and etiquette classes so that he’d appear to be a prodigy in front of all of his parents’ colleagues and potential business partners.”

Kyuhyun stops the blond again, this time questioning, “But wait a minute, why would it matter whether or not their son appears to be a genius at such a young age?  I mean I think I’d understand if he were a bit older but the way you’re speaking makes it sound like they just brought four year old Kibum into business meetings and had him blow people away.”  Kyuhyun realizes somewhere in the back of his brain that he’s being extremely wordy at the moment, although he can’t really help his curiosity at this point.  For some reason studying people with Sungmin has that effect on him – and he finds it utterly ironic considering the fact that he’s always so intrigued in learning about individuals but never fails to cringe at the mere thought of socialization with humans.

Sungmin doesn’t let it slip by either, and Kyuhyun can tell because of the way the boy smiles lightly to himself – almost as if satisfied by Kyuhyun’s excessive talking – before stating, “Well like I said, appearances are everything and Kibum’s parents wanted partners and the like to believe that they’d be in good hands even after they retired.  They trained Kibum to be extremely polite and well-learned of the family business so that clients and potential clients would believe that they would be in good hands even after Mr. and Mrs. Kim die or decide to retire.”

The brunette allows the words to sink in, nodding to himself almost unnoticeably in understanding.  Then he gives Sungmin a punctuated nod as sign to continue, and Sungmin picks up right where he left off before Kyuhyun began questioning him.  “Anyway, like I was saying, Kibum usually goes to bed really late at night and wakes up early in the morning to get ready to go to school, so a lot of the time when he’s here he’s beyond exhausted.  Somehow he manages to stay awake during classes, but then when it comes to lunch he tends to sit by himself so he can eat and rest up away from everyone else.”  He clears his throat, pausing for the slightest fraction of a second to do so, before diving right back in.

“And it’s not that he doesn’t have friends, he just likes to be able to get away from everyone to try to rest up a bit before class.  Actually, Kibum is pretty popular, even if he is quiet.  Do you know who Lee Donghae is?”  The last part is thrown right at Kyuhyun, and the latter is admittedly caught a little off guard; having no questions, he’s only been expecting Sungmin to continue telling him about the dark-haired boy sitting by himself.  Nonetheless, he allows the question to process, and then nods his head in confirmation (because really, who doesn’t know Lee Donghae?  He’s only the most popular student at SMAI.).

With a small nod of his own, Sungmin continues.  “Well yeah, whenever Kibum is feeling rested enough, he actually sits with Lee Donghae and his friends.  They’re actually really close friends from what I’ve been able to see and hear.”  Sungmin stops, seeming to end his little monologue, and Kyuhyun purses his lips as the information continues to sink in.  When it finally does completely, he asks, “His friends are okay with him not sitting with them?”

The blond next to him nods vigorously, and for a second it scares Kyuhyun because it appears as if the blond is trying to snap his own head off his neck.  “They don’t mind,” Sungmin responds after nodding; “They understand about the late nights and stuff because they all know and they’ve experienced it with him at one point or another.”  This time, it’s Kyuhyun who nods in understanding, and then silence falls upon them once again.

For the next few minutes, Kyuhyun allows his mind to wander as his gaze drifts from person to person sitting in the courtyard with them.  All of the dark hair colors and bright smiles barely register in his mind as he lets his thoughts glide about within his mind.  His eyes slide over to the blond sitting next to him, absentmindedly feeding his brain images of blond hair, pale skin, and M-shaped lips; big dark eyes, a slender nose, and a look of genuine intrigue.  When Sungmin looks over at him and allows the brunette a full view of his cheek, Kyuhyun feels his calm thoughts suddenly swarming like a mass of wasps in the middle of summer.  They swarm and buzz and zip about from left to right in his brain, reminding him of the odd tightening somewhere within him and recreating it all over again – or maybe it’s just the confused look Sungmin is giving him.  He can’t really tell.

Regardless, Kyuhyun looks back at Sungmin expressionlessly, allowing his eyes to linger on the red marks carving into the other’s cheek, and suddenly, before he is able to even consider stopping himself, blurts out, “What happened to your cheek?”  And then he mentally curses himself for it because damn it he’s just let himself slip again, and he’s been slipping way too much around Sungmin as of late.  He feels even worse when he sees the way Sungmin’s questioning face falls into a surprised and, just a few fractions of a second later, stoic expression.  For the first time since Kyuhyun has known him, Sungmin’s face is hard and unreadable, although there’s something like underlying tension; a sort of nervousness present in those big, dark eyes that Kyuhyun can’t quite place reasons for and, either way, doesn’t feel particularly fond of.

“My cat scratched me last night,” Sungmin says, voice calm and low – although in a tone that seems far more reserved than Kyuhyun has ever believed the blond really could be.  He can’t help but to raise a skeptical eyebrow at Sungmin’s words, silently questioning the other on the truth in his words because the blond’s tone and the shape of the cuts definitely do not help his credibility.  Those scratches on Sungmin’s cheek sure as hell don’t look like they were made by a cat.  Sungmin frowns in response to Kyuhyun’s questioning gaze and purses his M-shaped lips into a sort of upset pout.  “What?  You don’t believe me,” he asks, to which Kyuhyun doesn’t give a real response.  He just kind of sits there with his eyebrow still raised, his answer apparent in his body language.

Sungmin’s pout deepens further for a long, drawn-out moment before the blond releases a sort of exasperated sigh and speaks again.  “I’m serious, Kyu,” he says; “I was trying to trim his claws last night and, well, he’s a cat, so he doesn’t like having his claws cut, even though it helps him walk more comfortably.  So I tried to hold him still but he’s a cat so he’s like a slinky and he ended up scratching me,” and then, when Kyuhyun’s skeptical eyebrow fails to revert back to its original position, Sungmin adds, “They’re cat scratches!  I swear!”

Something like desperation seems to slip into the blond’s voice as he speaks, painting the edges of his words sharper, making them sound offended and upset.  It manages to break through Kyuhyun’s resolve and forces him to lower his eyebrow, although as the brunette allows his gaze to focus in on the red lines streaking the other’s cheek, he knows that Sungmin’s whole cat scratch story is a lie.  The consistency of the cuts along his cheek don’t seem to match that of a cat all too well; they’re not jagged and, while he knows that at times cat scratches can extend pretty far pretty consistently, far too even to have been inflicted by an animal with half cut claws.  They don’t look anything like animal-inflicted; they seem to have been done with precision, and another, more focused look has Kyuhyun’s gut flipping over itself because he realizes that that’s precisely it.  The cuts look far too precise to have been done by a petty housecat; it takes human skill to do something like that.

He opens his mouth to say, “Those aren’t cat scratches, they were made by a human,” but Sungmin cuts him off before he can even begin by inquiring, “Why do you look so skeptical?  It was my cat.  I’m telling you it was my cat.”  Kyuhyun thinks about retorting, cold, calculating, dark eyes narrowed in exasperated suspicion, yet the innocent, pleading exasperation in the blond’s big eyes, coupled with the slight distress in the latter’s tone of voice, are more than enough to stop him from answering.

And that manages to confuse Kyuhyun a bit immediately after, because emotions have never really made much of an impression on him before; usually when he’s discrediting someone’s argument, he ignores the hurt, guilty looks on their faces and continues to berate them with pointing out the inconsistencies they’ve made.  He never minds their destroyed expressions after he’s done either, because honestly it’s not his fault that they’re terrible liars and can’t fill the gaps in their stories.  But sitting there looking at Sungmin’s slightly upset, even mildly ruffled, expression has him stopping in his tracks, and that confuses him because just that one look has managed to do what countless others have failed to do.

Kyuhyun absolutely hates human interaction – any and all forms of it – because humans are so stupid and flawed with the way that they talk about the most meaningless things in life and the way that they constantly condone such stupid talking even when they don’t particularly enjoy it and the way that they worry about the most useless things on the planet and the way they complain about worrying about such useless things and the way that they act and express themselves and god damn it he just hates it all.  He hates all forms of interaction as much as he hates just about everyone and Sungmin is no exception – but for some reason the damn blond just keeps breaking through those barriers Kyuhyun believes he’s firmly set up against the rest of the world to avoid interaction.  There’s something about Sungmin that makes everything the boy does a little less meaningless than if another human were to do it, and it confuses Kyuhyun to no end.

Maybe it’s Sungmin’s large eyes that seem to rain innocence on all who take a glance and happen to meet his gaze; maybe it’s the way Sungmin occasionally tries to tiptoe around the things that Kyuhyun dislikes and simultaneously trespasses fearlessly on the very same topics all the same; maybe it’s the way that Sungmin has been pulling him out for the past week to study other people and tell Kyuhyun that nothing is ever really as it appears; that everyone has their own problems no matter how happy they seem to be.  Maybe it’s the way Sungmin is so startlingly calm in everything he does that makes it easier for Kyuhyun to acknowledge and reciprocate interaction with the blond – and that makes it harder on Kyuhyun to retort on the blond’s lapses in logic when Sungmin is looking back at him with such large, pleading eyes.

With something like a sigh escaping him, but is really more like resigned exasperation and the barest hints of swallowed suspicion, Kyuhyun gives Sungmin a solemn nod of understanding.  And the bright smile he gets in return is startling, really, because it springs from a face that was somber and pleading just a few fractions of a second ago.  The suspicion he’s still fighting to swallow surges through his body yet again, and it takes a long moment of struggle to keep his suspicion off his face, let alone shove it back to where it came from again.

Thankfully, Sungmin doesn’t seem to notice, instead turning back to look at the kids before him.  Kyuhyun shifts uncomfortably in his spot at Sungmin’s behavior, because while on the exterior the boy is acting the same, Kyuhyun can see in the blond’s dark eyes that something is off, something is shifted.  And the suspicion from before just doesn’t seem to want to quit, because it surges and resurges through him a million times and then another two hundred times for emphasis no matter how much he tries to fight it off.

Unfortunately, Sungmin seems to be able to sense his discomfort, because a few moments of remarkably tense silence later the blond turns to look at Kyuhyun with a questioning, blond eyebrow raised.  He opens his mouth to ask the brunette something – Kyuhyun figures it’ll be something about his thoughts, about what’s going on in his brain, and so he shakes his head negatively to stop Sungmin before the latter can even ask.  Sungmin closes his mouth and allows his brow to fall in concern, and Kyuhyun can feel more than see how the other is examining him from top to bottom, inspecting his face and searching for signs of what’s going on in his brain.

He seems to find it too, after a few seconds of searching, because he turns back to face the crowd of students milling about in the courtyard and lets out a barely audible sigh.  Kyuhyun watches as the blond runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head, and then says, “Not everything is exactly the way it seems, Kyu.”  He smiles, although from where Kyuhyun is sitting it looks surprisingly weak and halfhearted, and then he nods his head toward a table near the center of the courtyard.  Kyuhyun frowns, although follows his gaze as the blond says, “Take Lee Donghae for example.”

Kyuhyun catches sight of the table then, of the orange-haired kid sitting there with smiling brown eyes and a tall, dark-haired, model-like male – Choi Siwon, isn’t it? – throwing a friendly arm over his shoulder.  He watches as Lee Donghae talks animatedly with his friends, occasionally letting out wholehearted laughs that light up his face and make him seem far younger than sixteen; make him seem much more like five; youthful and carefree and like the happiest kindergartner on the block.

“He always looks like he’s extremely happy, as you can see,” Sungmin says, and it scares Kyuhyun just a bit how Sungmin’s attitude has suddenly changed; gone completely is the distressed, searching Sungmin caught up in the remnants of Kyuhyun’s suspicions despite the smile plastered on his face and present is the Sungmin that Kyuhyun has grown accustomed to for the past week: the one that watches people as he calmly tells Kyuhyun their hidden life story; the one that tells Kyuhyun that humans are never really as happy as they make themselves seem because everyone has problems, even if they don’t and moan about them to the world.

Kyuhyun can’t help but to examine the boy sitting next to him out of the corner of his eyes, because honestly the change is almost drastic.  If Sungmin notices, he doesn’t say anything, instead smiling and continuing on with what he’s saying.  “The thing about Lee Donghae is that he’s actually one of the saddest people at SMAI.”  With this, the blond turns to give an earnestly surprised Kyuhyun a sad smile of his own.  “If you look closely at him, you can see that even though his eyes move with his smiles, they’re pretty dull and lifeless.  There’s not much going on there that could be passed off as remotely happy, but not many people take the time to notice it.”

The blond pauses, seems to mull something over in his head for a moment, and then continues with, “Lee Donghae’s actually pretty vulnerable when it comes down to it.  And no one does anything about it because they’re too caught up in their own problems and worries to really notice it.  Not even his closest friends see anything, and for some reason it’s gotten worse within the last few weeks, although I’m not sure what the reason is.”  He halts there, and Kyuhyun is able to momentarily forget his suspicions and endlessly whirring brain to fall to his suddenly burning curiosity.

“But wait a minute, Lee Donghae is always around people; how can they possibly not notice a thing,” he questions, to which Sungmin’s sad smile only stretches knowingly, as if Sungmin is preparing to tell him something that’ll completely shift his outlook on life (although Kyuhyun knows, after having spent the last week the way he has, that the statement may not be as far off as it seems).  “Actually, Lee Donghae is alone a lot more than you would think.  After his friends take off for classes or whenever he’s got a class that none of his close friends are in, he tends to take long walks through less crowded or empty hallways.  And that’s when he starts letting himself slip up; sometimes his façade cracks a bit and you can see how tired of smiling he really is.”

Kyuhyun furrows his brow at the new information.  If there was one thing he never expected to hear in life, it was to hear that Donghae is depressed – or not depressed, but sad, because the orange-haired kid always seems to be so endlessly happy, especially when he’s around people.  He’s the king of socialization at SMAI; knows anyone and everyone and interacts, to the best of his abilities, with them all.  He’s always smiling and laughing and joking and never in his life would Kyuhyun have suspected that one of the unhappiest people in his school of three thousand is Lee Donghae.

Despite his warring thoughts, Kyuhyun listens to Sungmin as the latter continues with what he’s been saying.  “Actually, he went out for a walk before lunch today.  If you didn’t notice, he walked in pretty late and he walked in by himself, and I guess something happened that affected him in some way because he walked in looking even less happy than he did this morning.”  The blond shrugs, as if to say, “I’m curious as to what it is, but I’m not particularly focused on finding out at the moment” and Kyuhyun feels his brow furrowing even deeper into his scowl.

“No but wait, a second,” he says again before he can stop himself, and he suppresses the surge of premonition that arises within him at the thought that he’s about to get really wordy really fast.  “That still doesn’t explain how people don’t notice a thing whenever they’re around him.  I mean, if you can notice it when you don’t even speak to him, at least not that I know of, and you can see it, why can’t they?”

Sungmin flashes Kyuhyun a bright smile, something like amusement flickering in his dark eyes for a brief instant in time.  “Kyu, you seem to be forgetting our first lesson together.”  When Kyuhyun only raises a questioning eyebrow in confusion, Sungmin adds, “Remember what I told you the first day; that when you’re talking with someone they’re putting up a façade, even if they don’t realize it, and you’re biased by your own interest in whatever it is you’re talking about, so you don’t really notice when they slip up.”

A light flicks on somewhere in Kyuhyun’s brain as he remembers the conversation from the first time they came out to courtyard, and he nods in understanding – albeit mild, because he still can’t see why so many people can be around him at once and not one notices the slip-ups or the tiredness of smiling that Sungmin says he has.  And so he voices this to Sungmin.  “But what about when he’s holding a conversation with someone with other people around watching, but not actually in the conversation.  Like us.”

The blond’s smile shifts right back to sad, as if he’s going to share an unfortunate truth about the world (which, knowing Sungmin, Kyuhyun figures the former probably is).  “Those people aren’t watching the conversation searching for what we’re searching for; they’re watching the conversation because they’re interested in what Donghae or the other person has to say, so they’re biased too and they end up not noticing the slip-ups either.”

Frowning at the notion, Kyuhyun shakes his head and says, “Some people need to open their damn eyes wider then.”  A small laugh from Sungmin has his brow relaxing, however, as he turns to look at the blond, again momentarily mesmerized by the sound.  It lasts all but a couple of seconds, but Kyuhyun can’t help himself.  Sungmin shakes his head and then says, “They can open their eyes as wide as they want but as long as they’re caught up in their own biases without knowing what to look for, they’ll never find it.”  The frown finds its way back onto Kyuhyun’s face, because there seems to be something implied within the phrase, and he’s not sure if it’s intentional or not.

“And how would you know what to look for,” Kyuhyun can’t help but to ask the blond seated next to him, to which Sungmin gives him a halfhearted upwards tilt of the corners of the lips and says, “Like I’ve told you before, Kyu, the brightest of smiles hide the thoughts of the saddest of people.”

It’s not the first time Kyuhyun hears the phrase, and it’s not the first time that it offers him a new perspective on human interaction and even life itself, but it certainly is the first time that Sungmin has said it so solemnly that it makes him uncomfortable.  His scowl deepens as he inspects Sungmin from top to bottom, because the way Sungmin’s said it is enough to raise something like suspicion within him again.

Sungmin seems to notice, for he flashes him a sunny smile before announcing, “Anyway, that’s all for today!  Let’s eat,” and reaching into his bag to pull out his lunch.  The next few minutes are filled with the sounds of Sungmin rummaging for their lunch things in his bag and setting them up for them to eat.  And then the rest of the lunch period is spent in silence, watching as students interact and eat, although Kyuhyun admittedly not paying the slightest bit of attention because his thoughts are filled with unease and the sneaking suspicion that there is a lot more to Sungmin himself than the blond lets on.

Hey, look I finally updated it's about ing time it's not like it's been two months or anything I know I'm sorry
But honestly these last two chapters have given me so much trouble like OhMYgod, they were so tough to write. There was so much writer's block involved because they're the lows before the highs in this story (HINTHINTHIIIIIIIIIIINT) and I just didn't know how to express them correctly. It took me forever to be able to get them right, and to be quite honest I still don't like them all them much but they're absolutely necessary because they set foundations for things later on (HINTHINTHIIIIIIIIIIINT), so if you don't like them much, I apologize and I understand.
Anyway, yes; next chapter will be EunHae and I'm actually excited to write that one (because HA expect some heavy stuff [SPOILER ALERT: heavy also refers to ahem] with EunHae). I'm excited for you all to hate me after the next chapter >:) /evil laugh somewhere in the distance/ so look forward to that (and get your torches and pitchforks ready).
Now let me end this long author's note before you use your weapons ahead of time.
Thanks for reading, y'all! And thanks to all who have upvoted and subscribed as well!
Love y'all!
K